Author's Note: Well, the reactions to "Transcription Jn 30, 2012", both on the blog and this site, were all very favorable, so I thought I might write a sort of continuation/tie-in fic. Enjoy!
Keeping Track
June 30, 2012
"Life is hard enough without complications." This is something one Timothy Dugan told me once, in regards to his love life. He certainly wasn't thinking of being frozen in a polar ice cap for nearly seventy years, but there you are. If that won't make life complicated… I don't even want to finish that thought.
I wonder… what would have happened if I hadn't died?
Or what if I had actually stayed dead?
Stop. Stop it, Rogers. That's enough.
The therapist said that I should keep a diary, that it would help me get past this… post-traumatic stress. Like a log of mission reports, only for life in general. I don't know. Maybe I should go back to drawing.
I don't think I want anyone to see this. Ever. Especially not anyone from SHIELD. Agent Lonsley is a good man, true, but… well, I'd rather to keep this to myself.
Is this genetic? Or is it just human?
If I can get it under control… I don't really want help.
I don't know if I want to even write this. I haven't been able to keep up with one ever before. In fact, I couldn't keep up with anything back then.
Ha ha. Very funny. Now shut up.
Maybe someday, this will start to make sense. But I'm not sure if I even want it recorded at all.
Maybe someday, when I don't need this journal any more, I'll rip the pages out and burn them, and start over again.
If only it were that easy to erase the past.
