Sirius' Choice
Chapter One: Land of the Dead
Pretty Blue Firefly
Summary: Sirius is brought before a council of dead. They review his history, and decide that his past is not fair. They put him back through the veil of death and Sirius rejoices.
However, when he makes it out he realises he's 16 years in his past. He can change the future (somehow). Lily and James stay alive as he remains their secret keeper, the Longbottoms go into hiding as well on his warning. However, there is a problem – without Harry or Neville marked, the prophecy can't come true. Voldemort is still at large and more and more wizards are dying every day. It seems nothing can hinder his growing power.
Sirius has to rectify his mistake. He must now choose between the future he knows or the future he wants.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling.
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Only one pair was still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing at her.
'Come on, you can do better than that!' he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.
The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.
The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened in shock.
It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch.
Harry saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on his godfather's wasted, once-handsome face as he fell through the ancient doorway and disappeared through behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place.
Harry heard Bellatrix Lestrange's triumphant scream, but knew it meant nothing – Sirius had only just fallen through the archway, he would reappear from the other side any second…
But Sirius did not reappear.
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Sirius Black felt his body move through a mist of darkness. A woman's mocking laughter followed him distantly, as did a cry of "SIRIUS!"
But Sirius could not answer – they were too far away. He fell, but his mind stayed with the one who had called out to him. Harry…
He landed with a hard thump on the ground and lay there for a few moments, breathing heavily. Exactly how far had he fallen, anyway?
"Far enough." Came a soft voice outside his field of vision. Sirius sat up and turned around hesitantly. There was a woman, with night-black hair, pale skin and ruby lips. She reminded him of the princess from the muggle fairytale, Snow White. Except it looked like this snow white had gotten some attitude.
Sirius swallowed. "Who are you?"
"Not Snow White, that's for sure." The woman smirked as a look of surprise flitted across Sirius' face. "I am Amy, the temporary guardian of the veil."
"So the veil really is a gateway to Death?" sighed Sirius.
"Yes. The only physical gateway to death in your world. And you are the first one in many centuries to have fallen through it."
Sirius laughed sardonically. "Lucky me, aye?"
Amy laughed. "Indeed." Her voice suddenly took on a deeper timbre, and her face became more serene. "Come. It is time for your judging."
She turned away from Sirius and began to walk off. "Hey!" he shouted as he hurriedly pushed himself up off the ground and began to follow.
As he sprinted to catch up with her his mind followed behind somewhat. 'Judging?'
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Sirius stood before a panel of seven. Three women, three men, and Death itself. Although patience had never been Sirius' strong point, he stood before them, reflecting at least some semblance of patience.
"Sirius Black." Came the disembodied voice of Death.
"Aye."
"You stand before the council of Death. We are your judge, your jury, your offence, your defence…how do you plead?"
Sirius furrowed his brow and looked to the others, for some hint, some gesture that could help him. There was none. "How do I…plead?"
"In your world you were charged with the death of innocents, of attacks to people and things that did not deserve it. How do you plead to your charge?"
"If you mean the death of Lily and James…not guilty. I am innocent."
Sirius could have sworn that he heard a note of puzzlement in Death's voice when it spoke next. "And yet… your heart says otherwise. I will ask you again, Sirius Black: how do you plead?"
He closed his eyes to stop the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. "I understand. I plead… I plead guilty. Guilty of second degree manslaughter, as the muggles say." Sirius paused. "Or would it be third?"
He looked up at Death's unmoving face and spoke again. "You have to understand, I didn't kill them, and yet by my actions, by my words…I as good as killed them. They would have used me as their secret keeper. But then something Remus said… 'Of course they'd make you their secret keeper, you're the obvious choice.' It was too obvious. I made them change, god only knows why I made them change. I could have handled it. Instead…I told them to make Peter Pettigrew their secret keeper. Little Peter Pettigrew, who no-one would suspect." Sirius gave a bark of laughter. "If only I'd known. Maybe it would have been different. Peter sold them to Voldemort. Voldemort…Voldemort murdered them."
There was finally some semblance of expression on Death's face. "This I knew, for as I said, I can see into your heart. You are innocent, and yet guilty, for your heart denies you peace." The jury stood up and filed off the stand.
"The court is adjourned. We shall make our decision now."
Sirius nodded and sat down where he had been standing. Resting his elbows on his knees, he buried his head in his hands. What decision would they reach? What could they do to him now?
From what he could remember he could be sent to Van Diemans, or to the Paradise. Or he could reject their decision altogether and become a ghost.
Become a ghost… But Sirius didn't like that idea. There was something cowardly in becoming a ghost. It was like backing out of your fate. His Marauders instincts kicked in. He would see this through.
He wondered idly how long it would take them to reach a decision, and what they would decide.
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"You can't do that!" came Amy's outraged voice.
Death gave Amy a quelling look and looked back to the others. "Look at his past. He is a good man, but it hasn't gone the way it should."
One of the men spoke up. "I agree with both of you. He deserves what you ask for Master, and yet… it would be highly irregular. As far as I know we have never done it, or even anything like it before."
Death looked around the small room. "Does anyone else have any views they would like to raise?"
One of the women stood, a petite girl with dusky curls. "Even if we did do as you ask… would it make a difference? Could it save anyone? How do you know it wouldn't make things worse?"
Death sighed. Trust Isabella to see to the heart of the problem.
"It's like this, my friends. What I ask is, as you have all said, highly irregular. But it is not impossible. Merely… improbable, as I like to say. The real question is the one Isabella asked. Would it make any difference? And as to that… I do not know."
Looking around at the six unhappy faces, Death realised that its explanation would have to go further.
"It will change one life for sure, and that is the life of the man who stands… sits actually… outside this room. After that, as I said – I do not know. It would depend on his actions, and his decisions. But my heart… my heart says he could change almost everything."
Amy looked up from where she had been staring at the table previously. "You mean… it would all be good again? Light and Darkness could co-exist once more?"
Death nodded. "That is exactly what I mean. But it would depend on the decisions of Sirius Black."
Death looked to see his council appearing thoughtful. Closing its eyes, Death conjured up parchment and quills. "It is time to write down the vote. Write your decisions down, and hand them to me."
The council soberly reached out for their quills and began to write. Death closed its eyes once more and hoped that they would make the right decision.
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Sirius lay back on the cold ground and stretched out his legs. Staring up at the pitch-black sky, he wondered what was going on. Of course, not that there's much point in worrying about it.
His mind drifted back to his days in Hogwarts. Those were good times. Full-moon adventures, Quidditch, Girls… Memories flashed through his mind quicker than he could latch onto them.
A small, skinny James grinning impishly at him in first year…
Running from Filch after setting off two cartons of Doctor Filibuster's Fireworks in the Slytherin common room …
Remus curled up in the hospital wing after a full moon with a three small cuts across his cheekbone, and bruises on his arms …
Peter's face contorting with concentration as he tried to become an Animagus…
James chucking the golden snitch and catching it repeatedly…
Remus jumping over the bench to knock the stuffing out of Snape …
James turning Lily's hair green…
Running around as Padfoot on the first time they managed to become Animagi …
James and Lily fighting and Lily swearing she would never go out with James…
James and Lily together, very much in love …
Edana looking around the Great Hall, and smiling at him…
Remus getting his first girlfriend, with much protesting on his part…
Edana curled tightly against his chest…
Peter falling off his broom…
Remus transforming into a werewolf…
Winning the Quidditch Cup…
Edana… don't think about it Sirius…
Lily pregnant…
Harry…
At last a memory that he could latch onto. Harry. A small baby with big blue eyes and a shock of black hair, just like James. A year later, and the baby is now slightly bigger, with emerald eyes and a happy grin… and then amongst the wreckage - crying and bewildered with a lightening slash across his forehead. Now he's nearly a man, Sirius marveled.
Troubled – yes. Risk-taking and adventurous – naturally. But Harry came with a cautious edge that he and James had never possessed. Of all the Marauders, James was who Harry resembled the most, but it was Lupin who he took after most in character. Probably why the two of them got along so well. He hoped that Remus would look after Harry now that he was gone.
He remembered Harry trying to attack him that year when he'd escaped from Azkaban. He thought he had been the one to kill his parents. Judged guilty again, Padfoot.
Then later during the Triwizard tournament – he had never been prouder of his Godson, all the things he managed to do.
Sirius's revelry was interrupted by the presence of Death. He sat up to see Death's council filing back into their row of seats.
He stood up and clasped his hands in front of himself as they sat down.
"We have reached a decision, Mr. Black."
He fought back the urge to comment sarcastically 'No…really?' and instead merely nodded.
A flicker of a smile flashed across some of the council member's face, and Sirius remembered that they could hear his thoughts.
"Yes, Mr. Black. Really."
Sirius blushed slightly and smiled sheepishly in return.
"Our verdict is that you are a good man. You have always fought for what you believe is right, you have killed, and tried to kill… but you have never killed lightly, or for the pleasure of it. You are loyal to your friends, for even when they give you reason to doubt, a part still remains loyal and protests their innocence."
Sirius nodded. So far so good.
"Those are good qualities, and ones to be proud of. But there are also some undesirable ones. A tendency to blame yourself for others doings. And you are rash. You do things without thinking about the effect it has on others."
Sirius nodded again. He did not consider them bad qualities, exactly, but he wouldn't deny that he possessed them.
"But your worst traits are yet to come. You mock people who are undeserving of it, you are suspicious, stubborn, and rude."
Sirius closed his eyes in understanding of what they meant. Kreacher, Severus, and many others whom he had mocked or tormented. There was little he could do about that now.
"What is your verdict?" he asked, his voice sounding velvet smooth and distant to him.
"Throughout your childhood you were punished wrongfully, many times. You have had many betray you, and lost many loved ones, including Edana."
Sirius felt a wetness trickle down his face and reached up to touch his cheek, surprised to feel tears. "What is your verdict?" he asked again, although this time his voice was rough.
"You have lived a life you shouldn't have, and made many mistakes. But there is goodness in your heart, and a desire to rectify them. And so our verdict is thus: You will live."
Sirius blinked several times before he found his voice again. "Live?"
But there was no answer, only a swirling light that filled him completely, then darkness once more.
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Smoke was the first thing that Sirius saw and smelt. Shouts were the first noise that assaulted his ears. Sirius turned hesitantly in the direction of the shouts. The Dark Mark hovered above a building a few blocks away, and a man and a woman were running quickly, flashing looks back over their shoulders periodically.
The dark-haired man grabbed his companion's arm and turned around, shielding her in case of attack. He turned back, still bracing her arms. "I think we're far enough away now." He was gasping and attempting to smile reassuringly at his companion.
His fair-haired companion, nodded shakily and moved closer for a hug.
Sirius observed distantly that the two made an attractive couple. He was tall, broad-shouldered, with chin-length black hair, whilst she too was tall, coming up to about his cheekbone, with long fair hair.
"They… they came so fast. We had no warning." She sobbed. "We couldn't save them. They…we…Why couldn't we save them Siri?"
Sirius gaped at the couple and then took a closer look at woman. If that was him then…
"I don't know, Edana." The man said softly. "I only wish it could have been different."
Sirius shook his head at the young couple slowly, trying to deny their existence. However, there was no getting around it – that was him and Edana, all those years ago.
His head swam and he felt dizzy. If that was really Edana…then…
He was alive. And if he wasn't mistaken he had been given a second chance.
Sirius turned and fled.
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AN: Thanks go to James Milamber for editing this chapter. If you haven't already read his story called Harry Potter and the Mind Mage, I would definitly recommend it.
Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and review!
