Assorted prompts that never quite flourished into full-fledged stories. Enjoy the prompts/short stories, I guess. They're arranged in a pattern, two deep, two random, so on and so forth. Most of them contain Pur and I as the main characters, obviously. For every review, Purple gets a doughnut with rainbow sprinkles!

Purple: DOUGHNUTS! :D

Red: If you don't review, Purple will be force fed the beans from the pilot episode. Don't ask how I got them.

Purple: *gasp* You evil...thing!

Red: *snickers*

Disclaimer: Eh...you know by now what this should say, right? Jhonen Vasquez created this world from his mind. A quite intelligent mind...for a human.


1)

Zim stood before the transmission screen, grimacing at the sight. His Tallest were trying to fend off a giant, pulsating blob that roared with fury. The purple-eyed Tallest kept shrieking and trying to get out of the room while Red shot at the creature, yelling at his co-leader to try help him find some way to stop it. Zim quickly turned off the transmission and looked away in regret. If his creature was successful, he would have killed four of his Tallest. Four. But the first two were accidents.

He wasn't sure whether or not this one was as well.


2)

A younger, pre-leader Purple sat on a hill, leaning back on his hands. The sky was beautiful at this time of year. The three moons were lined up with the sun, all setting simultaneously on his home planet of Irk. Yellow flames would radiate out and seem to touch the three blue moons, reflecting back on Irk. It would bathe everything in a temporary green light, giving the illusion that there were still plants instead of the cement coating everything. On days when he was very lucky, the dark gray smog would clear just long enough for him to get a glimpse of the stars.


3)

Red slowly surveyed the scene around him, looking for that telltale sign of the enemy nearby. Frantic breathing, a heartbeat sped up, anything. He was rewarded for his patience with a small clattering sound right behind him.

"Gotcha!" he shouted, spinning around and shooting the laser at his victim. The figure stumbled back and grumbled as lights illuminated the area.

"Player 1, you are the winner!" a computer voice celebrated.

"Always," Red snickered.

"Player 2...you lose, again," the voice mumbled, less cheery.

"I hate laser tag!" Purple announced, throwing the laser gun to the ground. "You always win!"

"That's what makes it fun!" Red laughed. Purple grinned deviously and pulled out a red rubber sphere from his Pak.

"Let's play dodgeball next," Purple decided. Red remembered Purple throwing abilities when handing out the robots to the Invaders and winced.

"But you'll bruise me! I'll get hurt!" Red protested, backing up. Purple pulled his arm back, preparing to throw it with all his might, an imaginary target painted on his friend's face.

"That's what makes it fun!"


4)

"What's your plan this time, Zim?" a boy shouted to the Irken pacing in front of him.

"You really want to know, Dib-worm?" the 'Invader' hissed.

"Yeah, I do!" Dib answered with a glare.

"Then the Almighty ZIM shall tell you!" Zim announced. He started to rummage around in his Pak.

"What are you getting? A death ray? A vivisector?" Dib wondered. Zim snickered and shook his head.

"No, Dib-stink. Now, prepare to meet your doom!" Zim cackled, holding high above his head a blank piece of paper.

"A piece of paper, Zim? Is that all you've got?" Dib laughed. The Irken's eye twitched in anger as he stepped close to the human.

"This is not just a tree corpse for writing on, Dibbers. It is a weapon, as Zim so recently discovered in your hideous hyooman Skool!" the alien exclaimed, carefully holding the edge of it on the restrained human's forehead. He moved it quickly to the side, and Dib flinched in pain.

"Paper cuts? Really?" the boy asked, still wincing a bit from the sting.

"YES!" Zim cackled. "Cower before Zim's paper...OF DEATH!"


5) (A/N: This refers to the end scene from the written, but unanimated episode called 'The Trial')

"Well...that didn't go as planned," Purple comments, watching some Irkens trying to control and repair the spazzing out Control Brains.

"Ya think?" Red sarcastically replies. "The Massive is damaged, the Control Brains are insane, and now we know Zim killed Miyuki and Spork! All because we tried to set everything right so that the Empire doesn't have to endure him any more!"

"And even worse, we're out of snacks!" Purple cried out.

Red shudders. "A tragedy."

"Why do these things always happen to us?" his co-leader complains. "Every time we try to get rid of Zim, every time, something always goes wrong! And he walks away as the winner, while we're left to clean up his mistakes! WHY?"

The red-eyed Tallest sighed. "I don't know, Pur. I just don't know. It's like some entity is controlling our universe, making sure that Zim never dies while they laugh at us."

Purple waved that away. "Nah, that's crazy."

"You're right. I'm overthinking this. But it still seems that somehow, if that entity were real, they might be the one who decides how our luck is dealt out, and when. Pur?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate karma."


6)

Dib looked up at the twitching robot eyes, staring down at him unmercifully. The pool of dark green blood had reached the arm of his jacket, staining it a deep emerald. If he lifted his head he could just about see where his lifelong enemy lay, cut and bleeding, but just barely alive. Zim lifted his head, too, and smiled weakly at the human.

"Looks like Zim's attempt to upgrade Gir to a killing machine was a success," Zim coughed. "Just not the way it was planned."

"Of course not, master," Gir snickered, eyes still trained on Dib. "Your plans never work. It's time to finish up the job I had started when you last made me intelligent."

"But why me?" Dib implored. "Why did you attack me?"

"You were in the way, blocking him like that," Gir calmly replied, levelling a ray gun at both the human and his former master. "Don't protect a defect, or you'll be a target, too."

"Dib-worm, I won't apologize for Gir acting this way, nor will an apology come forth for our past fights and making you an outcast in your own society," Zim decided. "You're a hideous, idiotic, inferior human being, and you deserved it all. But there is one thing that Zim would like to say."

"What is it?" Dib asked, trying to keep his eyes open.

"You were a worthy adversary, Dib, the only one worthy of Zim," Zim admitted, right before a blast of light sent them into eternal silence.


7)

An incredibly tall, handsome Irken with a red outfit leaned back in his chair, bored. He looked over, expecting Purple to be the same way. He was quite suprised to see otherwise. The purple figure was hunched over a bit, tapping at an electronic device.

"What is that?" Red asked, pointing to the little rectangle.

"Shush! Hold on, I'm almost done with this level!" Purple replied, tapping frantically at the screen with his two talons. A pause ensued, and he pumped his arm in the air. "YES! PERFECT ACCURACY AND NEW HIGH SCORE! I ROCK!"

"Irk to Purple!" Red called out teasingly, waving his hand in front of his friends face. "I asked you a question. What is that...thing?"

"Zim sent it!" Purple responded, still smiling from his victory. "He stole it from that big-headed kid and sent it to us. He said that it's called a iSing or something, and he claimed that we should be the very first Irkens to own one since we're so superior! It has all kinds of stuff!"

"Neat!" Red exclaimed. "What were you doing with it just now?"

"Playing a music game where you tap little circles on the bottom of the screen as little spheres glide down to the beat of the music!"

"Can I try?"

"Nuh-uh! You're just gonna beat my best scores!" Purple retorted, playing keep away from his friend.

"Give it!" Red demanded, lunging for it unsuccessfully.

"NEVER!"


8)

"Hey, Zim hasn't called in a while," Purple pointed out.

"Maybe he died!" Red said with a hopeful note in his voice. "Let's see!"

He turned the monitor on, and paled visibly at the sight. The Invader was embracing a human female with dark purple hair, a strange glint in his eye that most Paks prevented Irkens from obtaining the proper emotion to instigate it. The L-word. Purple looked like he was deciding on whether or not to throw up or pass out. Red cleared his throat, and Zim's head shot up.

"My Tallest!" he gasped, pushing the girl away from him. Big mistake.

"ZIM!" the girl yelled, stomping back to him. "DON'T YOU DARE SHOVE ME LIKE THAT!"

"No, wait, Gaz!" Zim exclaimed, backing up fearfully. "I didn't mean to! Zim was just suprised, and acted without thinking!"

"You won't need to think any more if your brain is ripped out of your skull!" Gaz shrieked, a dark aura pulsing around her. "If you WANT to die instead of kissing, just SAY SO!"

The aura caused the electricity in Zim's base to cease working, ending the transmission.

"Wow..." Purple commented, blinking in suprise.

"That was awkward..." Red muttered. He looked over to his friend. "We didn't see anything, it never happened. Agreed?"

Purple nodded. "Agreed."


9)

Tak hissed under her breath, switching between staring out at the vaccuum of space and fixing her beloved robot, Mimi. The blue and green orb known as Earth is what her craft orbited around, endlessly. The female Irken glared out at the planet, still furious from her loss. Now Zim had not only ruined her chance to become one of the Irken Elite, he had now completely destroyed her last chance to impress the Almighty Tallest.

Mimi twitched under her hands, one eye still blue, the other a fully operational red. The SIR unit stared up at her, eyes wide at the sight of one of its limbs in her master's hands.

"Some day, Mimi," Tak growled. "Some day, Zim will pay for his actions. Drop by bloody drop."


10)

Zim threw himself against the wall and leaned against it, panting for breath. Shadows played tricks on him in the corner of his eyes, pretending to be the figure of the man chasing him. He could almost feel the slice of scalpels cutting into him. Those crazy eyes, focusing on him. The sound of steel restraints falling against the floor of the room he had escaped from.

This place wasn't safe, it was too open to the world. Zim looked around before running out of the ally. He stopped in his tracks as the insane boy stood before him, black clothes perfectly becoming one with the shadows.

"Found you!" the boy nearly sang, pulling a stun gun out of his jacket pocket and blocking the only escape out of the ally. "Oh, this is going to be fun!"