Chapter 1: Regrets
Disclaimer
Don't own HP.
JAPANESE $ or any foreign language
TMR POV
I can't remember a time when I wasn't thinking about my brother like today. He left when we were young. I remember clearly what led him to leave.
I vividly remember the first time I met him, because of his mother's death, my father had to confess to my mother about having an affair and an illegitimate son who was coming to live with us as my father was his only living relative. My mother was displeased with the news but like a true heiress to a wealthy estate, she had seen things like this happen and agreed to let him come live with us 'till he was old enough to leave as the alternative option was for him to go to an orphanage and if the press ever caught wind of him having an affair and tossing away his own flesh and blood when he had nothing left, it would reflect badly on him and the family business.
He was older than me by two years I learned when he arrived the next day. He was taller than me and when I saw his eyes, they had different colors, one of them an emerald green and the other a deep sky blue that I had never seen before. I learned later own that the condition was called Heterochromia. His hair was a deep dark black but when the sun reflected off it, it looked to be blue. He was an enigma with little to no facial expression and I was immediately hooked, wanting to unravel him.
We grew close growing up, and he taught me more than the tutors that father hired ever did. He knew a lot of languages but was extremely fascinated with Japanese and he spoke it like a native. Everything changed though when I reached 11 to 12 years old, father wanted me to socialize with the children of his business partners, influential people and he made sure to always exclude Harrison when he invited everyone over and slowly but surely, we began to grow apart. I had my circle of friends, people such as the Malfoys, Blacks and children from other influential families that were my father's business partners while Harrison, my brother, kept mostly to himself and always had an emotionless face, never showing what he thought or felt to the world.
I first noticed his fascination with me when I was 15 and he was 17, he would observe me with an intensely expression on his face as if he was cataloging everything I did and I was unsettled but I didn't confront him about it for a time.
That was until my friends or acquaintances noticed him observing me from the library window upstairs where he spend most of his time a couple of times a few years later and kept insisting that I confront him about it and I did with all my friends watching.
I found the opportunity to confront him the same day when my friends were about to leave to go home and he was coming down from the stairs.
"Why have you been watching me all this time?" I asked angrily and coldly, hurt that he never approached me, why he stopped speaking to me altogether even though I could hazard a guess, it didn't hurt any less.
I could tell he was not expecting me to speak to him, much less ask him that question with all my friends watching.
He tilted his head to the side and looked around my friend with his two colored eyes, they were cold and piercing and I could see my friends flinch, unnerved from being so closely observed.
"Because I have nothing better to do brother dearest" he replied just as coldly
"I want you to stop doing it immediately" I bit out through clenched teeth.
"Why, do I make you uncomfortable Tom-Tom?"
How could he mock me in front of my friends like this, I thought angrily, opening my mouth to reply but I paused when I looked into his eyes, I finally saw what he had been hiding all these years, love for me. The kind of love that a brother shouldn't feel for another but I was too angry to analyze his emotions deeper and so in my anger said something I never should have
"I know why you are so obsessed with me now, you are in love with me. How disgusting, being in love with your own brother and knowing that he will never feel the same. That must hurt claw at whatever heart you have left. I don't want you here, nobody does so why do you stay, leave, nobody wants you." I said all that in perfect Japanese, a language that he loved and I had admired him speaking it. I knew it would hurt him more, saying that in a language he was so fond of.
"That's why I am leaving your home tomorrow. You are just like the rest of them, Goodbye brother" he said coldly, showing to outward reaction to my words though I could detect an emotion I had never seen in his eyes.
He abruptly turned and left, going to his room and I was left standing there feeling guilty and unexpectedly sad, he was leaving and he never bothered to inform me. We have our differences but I am still his brother.
My friends still looked confused when they were entering their cars to drive off, not having understood what I had said to my brother.
That was the last time I saw him, he wasn't there for dinner that night and nobody batted an eyelash as that was quite common behavior for him and I felt too guilty to knock on his door and so I convinced myself that I would talk to him in the morning only he wasn't there for breakfast and I knew something was wrong, he never missed breakfast.
I left the table in a hurry and went to his room, when I turned the knob and entered without knocking, I expected his voice to shout at me for entering his room without explicit permission but nobody was there and all his clothes were gone. The room looked like nobody had ever lived there and I felt something wet on my cheeks. When I touched them and felt the liquid, I realized I was crying.
I would never be able to apologize for the way acted towards him yesterday and abandoning him to socialize with people that father wanted and not fighting enough for our bond.
Life went on, I grew and joined the business after I finished university and nobody ever spoke of my brother again. It was as if he never existed and he never tried to contact any member of the family. I didn't know where he was or what he was doing with his life and some days when I sleep, I dream that we meet again and I apologize for hurting him and to tell that what a fool ii had been and not admitting to myself that I might have loved him too.
I was brought out of my dark thoughts from somebody knocking on my door and when I called for them to enter, I saw that it was my assistant Alex reminding me about my scheduled trip to the US branch of the company tomorrow.
I reconfirmed that everything was in order and tried to bury those eyes that always seemed to be accusing me of a silent crime, making him fall in love with me and not fighting our father enough for him to be included in the family affairs.
I felt a sense of foreboding while boarding my plane the following morning, America, what did you have in store for me? I thought curiously.
