Once upon a time there was a completely grown-up damsel named Victoria Thackeray who made her living roving various nightclubs selling chocolate and candy to the patrons at their tables. Every evening she would dress in her work uniform, which consisted of a black and pink corset top and skirt, a matching pillbox hat, black fishnet stockings, and black high-heel stilettos. A black tray lined with felt rested against her stomach, held in place with straps over her shoulders.
"Won't you buy a candy bar to show your girl how sweet she is?" purred Victoria, stopping at a table.
"Sure, Vickie, I'll take one," agreed The Wolf, helping himself to a Three Musketeers bar. He looked expectantly across the table at Millie-Helen White. Millie-Helen was a wealthy young widow and the stepmother of Gwyneth "Snow" White. She wore a red wrap dress cinched around the waist with a gold chain link belt. A silver necklace with a mother of pearl pendant in the shape of a heart with a lock dangled from her neck; numerous rings adorned her soft and supple fingers.
"I'm a bit short of cash, baby," The Wolf told her. "Pay for this, would you?"
Millie-Helen did not look particularly enthusiastic, but she reached for her large purse filled with various denominations of dollar bills, for, owing to a tax dispute with the IRS, she had discarded all her credit and debit cards and was now paying for everything with cash. "All right, Wolfy," she agreed, glaring lethally at Victoria. "How much is it?"
"That'll be seven ninety-five," Victoria informed her cheerfully.
"You're charging seven dollars and ninety-five cents for a candy bar you probably bought in bulk at Sam's club for less than fifty cents apiece?" demanded Millie-Helen. "Don't you think that's kind of, I don't know, mercenary?"
"Don't make a scene, baby," yawned The Wolf, winking at Victoria who smiled back.
"Here's your money," announced Millie-Helen, thrusting a ten at Victoria.
"Thanks!" announced Victoria, making the bill disappear and forgetting to give any change. "I'll be back soon in case you need anything else!"
"No, we're fine!" called out Millie-Helen, but Victoria had already moved to another table.
"Want a candy bar, baby?" asked The Wolf, offering Millie-Helen the Three Musketeers.
Millie-Helen tossed it in her purse. "Wolfy, let me ask you something. Why did you call that girl 'Vickie?'"
"Because that's her name, baby."
"You never call me by my name."
"I've known Vickie ever since we were kids," explained The Wolf. "I remember one time she wanted a new bicycle, but her folks didn't have the money. So she collected some coins from her dresser, bought a carton of matches for practically nothing, and sold those little boxes of them for five bucks a crack. When she smiled up at the adults on the street corner, no one could resist, and soon she had her money for that bike."
"Yeah, I can see she learned something from that," smoldered Millie-Helen.
"Won't you buy a candy bar to show your girl how sweet she is?" asked Victoria, who had returned.
"Weren't you here like five minutes ago?" demanded Millie-Helen. "No, we don't want anything from you. Go away and stop bothering us!"
"Baby, you're embarrassing me!" The Wolf pleaded with her, randomly picking up a Kit Kat bar from Victoria's tray.
Millie-Helen paid even more reluctantly this time. "Wolfy, will you excuse me for just a minute?" she asked him with glacial sweetness as Victoria left. "I need to use the ladies' room."
"Sure, baby, I'll be waiting right here," replied The Wolf.
"Of course you will," agreed Millie-Helen. She stepped away, thinking of the rope, duct tape, and strips of cloth crammed in her purse among the dollars. They were there precisely to deal with any damsels who flirted with her date. It would take her a few minutes to tie up this Victoria, she reflected, but she wasn't worried about leaving Wolfy alone. As he had just said, he wasn't going anywhere.
___
"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, Wolfy. Did you miss me?"
The Wolf stood, and, wagging his tail happily, pulled out a chair.
"Thanks, Wolfy," said Victoria, resting her empty candy tray on the table. She frowned slightly down at The Wolf's foot as she glided gracefully into her seat. "I met Millie-Helen in the bathroom. For just a minute, she thought she was going to cause me some trouble, but I quickly calmed her down. And then you know what? She suddenly decided she wanted to buy all my candy!"
"You always were a great salesgirl, Vickie," observed The Wolf.
"So I'm through for the night, and, at least if I did everything correctly, Millie-Helen is going to be tied up in there for quite a while, so, how about the two of us take off by ourselves?"
"Hey, I'd like that, only there's a slight problem." The Wolf lifted his leg to show a chain wrapped around one ankle, locked with a large, dull padlock. "The other end's attached to the table leg," he explained.
"Oh, that's no problem," giggled Victoria. She reached into her hair, amongst her tumbling, blonde curls, and retrieved a small hairpin. Snick, snack, the lock opened and The Wolf was free once again.
"Thanks, Vickie," he enthused, offering her his arm as the two of them sauntered out of the nightclub.
"Mpfff!" screamed Millie-Helen, exiting the ladies' room as a startled customer held the door open for her. She took a couple small jumps forward. Cloth packing filled her mouth, gray duct tape kept it closed. Clothesline tied her legs together, her wrists behind her back, and her arms against her torso. Her purse waved wildly, the strap in the crook of her arm. It was filled to overflowing with candy bars that flung out wildly as she continued jumping forward. People stared at her in amazement, wondering if this was a publicity stunt by a chocolate company. No one moved, though, until she almost reached the front door, where her progress was blocked by a very large man in a tuxedo.
"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.
"Mpfff, mpfff, mpfff, so I've got to catch up to them!" she explained, finally able to speak because the man abruptly removed her gag.
"You're not leaving quite yet," he informed her, displaying a small sheet of paper with several digits written on the bottom line. "Not until you pay for your evening's entertainment!"
"If you'll stop standing there and untie me I've got plenty of money in my purse!" snapped Millie-Helen.
His large hand dug into Millie-Helen's purse and pulled out a 100 Grand candy bar. "Are you trying to be funny?" the bouncer demanded angrily. "There's no money in there, just a bunch of chocolate!"
"I did have money, but that girl took it all and gave me all this junk that I didn't even want!" fumed Millie-Helen. "When I get my hands on her I'll…"
"In the meantime," interrupted the bouncer. "How are you going to pay your bill?"
"If somebody could please untie me I'll dash over to my condo and get more money out of the wall safe. Then I'll come right back here…"
"Nuh huh," disagreed the bouncer. "You're not going anywhere until this bill is paid."
"But I'm telling you, if you'll just let me go, I'll get you that money in no time. I can't pay for it if I remain here."
"Yes, you can," decided the bouncer, lifting her in his massive arms. "You can wash dishes to pay it off."
"These delicate hands have never washed dishes in my life! And besides, it'll take absolutely forever to wash enough dishes to pay off this much!"
"Well, then," decided the bouncer, carrying her to the rear of the club, "you'd better get started, hadn't you?"
