Scott's Revenge

By Erika Kensuke

-Scott's POV-

My parents are dead... My favorite band thinks I'm a wimp... I actually ate a bit of my parents...

Eric Cartman will perish.

I thought it was all fun and games to mess with that little Eric Cartman kid. He was such a tard! I can't believe that idiot bought my pubes for ten dollars, then I managed to trick him into giving me another $6.12! My parents gave me a $50 allowance. $16.12 meant nothing to me, but the twerp was persistent. I thought I had won when his "Friends" called and said he was going to humiliate me at the little Chilli-Con Carnival he was holding. My plan was simple but brilliant. He would end up eating the pubes of almost all the teens of South Park! Unfortunately, I had not expected the serious and elaborate plan he concocted. The pony was just a set up. He got my parents killed, and he fed them to me! It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever tasted! Not only that, my favorite band Radio Head saw me cry over the death of my parents! They called me a pussy, a wuss... I can't believe he was so cunning. Because of the trauma, I was placed in an asylum. It was not long after I began plotting my revenge on him, that I found a copy of his birth certificate. It listed his mother... and my father? He is my half brother? How the hell could that have happened? I was born before him, so did that mean my dad cheated on mom? After a few days, I received a journal from a lawyer saying my father wanted me to have it. I was on page 27 when I found a page that fit my interests.

May 17, 1997

Approx. 5:30pm

I received a letter today from Liane Cartman. She said that she was pregnant with a child, and I was the father. I decided to hide the letter from my wife because if she finds out I cheated, she'll kill me! My little son Scott will one day know, and maybe get along with the child. He might not meet him since Scott is already six. I'm not quite sure if I have anything to worry about. I have to take my wife out to dinner tonight, and I need to get ready.

So till whenever I write again,

Jack Tenorman

I had to let my little half brother know who his father is. I mean, I'm doing him a big favor! Not only hat, but I'm going to get my revenge too.

I played sweet and innocent until I was let out of the asylum. I then got in touch with other gingers that said Eric had screwed them over too. We met, and other gingers followed. We soon had a large organization consisting entirely of gingers to help me with my plan. They were delighted to help me. Not long after we finished with the Chilli-Con Carnival set, we heard that Muhammad was coming to South Park. We made the adjustments to our plan, and started it right away. It was not long before we had Muhammad, and Eric was in my grasp. As I sat on my throne waiting, I heard my underlings push him into the room.

"Hello?" I heard him call, "What the hell is this? Where am I?" A new voice sounded. Someone was with him?

"Really got yourself into a mess this time, Kid." This better not ruin my plan.

"Shut up Conner! Why don't I put this flashlight in you mouth?" I saw him switch the hand his flashlight was in. This kid is more insane than I am! "Conner" made muffled noises of protest trying to get the flashlight out of his mouth.

"Hello?" He called again, "I'm here who ever you are!" I laughed.

"Eric Cartman. I've waited a long time for this." I guess now is as good a time as any to reveal myself and my plans to him. My revenge has started, no one can stop me from telling him who Eric Cartman's father is.