Happy New Year (and belated Merry Christmas)! This is just a 2 - 3 chapter fic in celebration of the holidays. I'd wanted to write something for Christmas but spent too much time visiting friends and family in Canada to write - so have done a combo New Years/Xmas fic. I will return to my other story (I promise I will finish it soon) but wanted to do something short.
My apologies for the angst - but what better way to bring in the New Year! I hope you enjoy.
"Happy New Year!" The lady at the counter smiled and spoke as she handed Sam her receipt. With a mumbled attempt at returning the greeting Sam grabbed the piece of paper and left the store as fast as she could.
By the time she was standing on the street, the cold air biting at her face and hands, she had managed to gather herself together. She should have known better than to come out, tonight of all nights, but she'd suddenly felt claustrophobic in the townhouse and had decided to come down to the convenience store on the corner to buy milk.
Not that she really needed it – or that she would actually drink it. In fact, she didn't even like milk that much. It was Jack –
She closed her eyes, the tears that resided somewhere in back of them still held at bay by her fierce determination. She wouldn't cry – she wouldn't. She'd be strong because she had to be. He would expect it of her.
With that she turned and slowly made her way back to her home – their home. She refused to forget that it was his too even though –
She ignored the cheerful greetings of others as they passed by her, intent on enjoying the evening ahead, in anticipation of the new year that was coming in just a few hours. If she could she would have laughed at the irony of it – but laughter, like tears, was something that Sam wouldn't allow, not now – and maybe never again.
It took her a few extra seconds to turn the key in the lock and open the door. It could have been because her hands were stiff with cold – she'd forgotten her gloves – but more likely it was because she didn't really want to enter the cold house. She'd spent the last week inside, freezing to death because of the lack of warmth. It wasn't the actual temperature of the house that had caused the cold, it was the absence of the person who brought warmth to her heart and her soul and her life.
Jack was dead and there would never again be warmth – or laughter or hope – again.
This was to have been their first Christmas together. They'd gone out and bought a tree – a huge one to fit in the two story family room. Sam had laughed and said it was too big but Jack had grinned and shrugged.
"We need a big tree Carter", he 'd told her. "We have a lot of Christmases to make up for."
"And you think a big tree will do that?" she'd grinned back. He reached out then, and pulled her to him.
"No – but it'll help. So will this?" He grinned even wider and held up the biggest bunch of mistletoe she'd ever seen. "I plan to place this strategically throughout the house."
She'd laughed then and leaned forward and kissed him on his nose. "Good – although I don't know what we'll do with this." She reached into the bag beside her and pulled out her own mistletoe.
They'd hugged and laughed and teased one another all the way home. When they got there they'd lifted the big tree into the family room, working together efficiently, like they'd done for so many years.
They decided to leave it to the next day to decorate it since Jack had been intent on first hanging up the mistletoe. He did get around to stringing the lights and had retrieved the boxes of ornaments from the attic. He'd first pulled down his – there were just two small boxes – and then he'd found hers. She didn't have many either – just three boxes. Both of them had lived alone for too many years and had missed too many Christmases to bother with collecting ornaments.
Sam had opened one of his when he'd gone to put on the kettle for tea. She'd quickly closed it again when she'd seen the hand-made ornaments – obviously done by a child. She assumed these had been made by Charlie when he was young. She was pretty sure that hanging them was something that Jack would want to do.
She glanced over at her own small stack of boxes and thought of the one that contained the ornaments that she and her mother had made when she was a little girl. There were also a few of the ones her Mom had had of her own. Her father had divided them up between Mark and her when he'd gone to live with the Tokra.
The thought of her father brought a lump to her throat. It had been many years since her Mother's death, and although it still brought sadness, the wound was not as raw as that of her father's. He'd been gone less than a year and it was still painful to think about him. It had only been the joy of finally being able to be with Jack that had helped her deal with his loss.
And now she had another, even more painful one to deal with.
They'd slept in the day after buying the tree although Jack had gotten up before her to – "make you my special O'Neill pancakes", he told her with a swift kiss. He'd made her stay in bed while he padded his way downstairs in his pajamas. She listened and smiled as he'd banged and sung his way through making breakfast.
It was just after he'd told her to "come and get 'em", that the phone had rung. She'd remembered being curious as to who it could be. It was close to the holidays and both of them were on vacation. She listened to him answer and then go quiet. By the time she got to the kitchen she could see, by the tension in his back and the two lines between his brows that it was something serious.
"You're sure?" he'd said. After a pause his frown grew. "I don't like it. Why me?" There was another pause and he shook his head, his body seeming to deflate. "Of course Sir. Yes." He glanced over at Sam and his eyes closed briefly. "About an hour." There was another silence and then his nod. "Yes Sir, I'll be there." He slowly replaced the received on the phone and simply looked at Sam.
"What is it?" she asked.
"That was the President", he told her. "There's been an incident on Palexa and he wants me there."
"What?" She frowned. "But why you? There's a diplomatic team already there. Isn't Paul Davis handling the negotiations?"
Palexa was a neutral planet and was the site of a meeting between two warring peoples – the Tareans and the Jasovites. The two peoples lived on neighboring planets and controlled a major trade corridor in the eastern part of the galaxy. The Tareans had begun to extend their reach and had captured some smaller planets in the vicinity and were now controlling, not only a major portion of space, but the gates on four planets.
The Jasovites had complained as they saw their rivals gaining even more power. As a result, they signed a treaty with the Garontii – a mercenary and vicious race – and had begun to escalate the war with their neighbors. Things had grown more and more serious and a number of other races grew alarmed. It had actually been the Tokra who had contacted Earth and asked for help. After months of talks with the two sides, both the Tareans and the Jasovites had agreed to peace talks, brokered by Earth.
Jack had worried about getting involved. He'd met people from both planets – and from Garon – and didn't like the situation one little bit. He didn't trust any of them. Still, their only role seemed to be as negotiators and the planets were far enough away to probably not be much of a threat to Earth. It was eventually the powers above him, including the President, that decided that Earth would be a good – albeit distant – neighbor – and lead the talks. Jack was put in charge and immediately appointed Paul Davis to head up the talks. Fortunately O'Neill wasn't expected to go off-world.
Sam had grinned at that. "The President knows you too well Jack", she'd said.
"Hey – I can negotiate", he told her. "Look how well I did with Bocce. And there were those two guys from – somewhere – you know, fruit baskets. That worked out well! And of course there was that whole treaty thing with Thor."
"Right", she'd smiled and patted his cheek as if he were a little boy. He'd narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "I'm sure you're an excellent negotiator Jack", she'd appeased. "But I'm also sure the President feels you're much too important to send off-world."
He'd continued to look at her suspiciously, but she had too many years working with him to crack that easily. Finally he'd nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, I don't want to miss Christmas with you." That, of course, led to an intermission in their discussion which landed them in their bedroom – a place they'd gotten to know really well over the last few months.
"Yeah, Paul is there", he'd continued and she snapped back to the present. "It seems as though the negotiations aren't going well. In fact, they're on the verge of breaking off the talks and resuming the war with one another. Paul thinks that the Garontii are behind it. The two sides refused to speak with one another after a huge argument broke out. They finally agreed to continue, but only if I met with the leaders from each side.
"But why?" she asked, not liking the sound of that. "Doesn't Paul have the ability to make decisions on behalf of Earth?"
"Well – yes, although Earth really doesn't want to get involved in their fight so there shouldn't be any decisions to make. We only agreed to be the neutral party leading the talks. Paul thinks it's a delaying tactic, but the President feels we should do everything we can to help."
"So you have to go off-world?"
"Yeah", he sighed and scratched his head. "I'm sorry Sam. The President wants me there right away. He has a jet waiting to take me to Petersen and then I'm heading through the gate immediately." He hated the look of worry and sadness on her face, but knew she wouldn't say anything. She was too good a soldier for that and knew that when duty – or the President – called, he couldn't do anything but answer.
"I'll help you pack", was all she said.
There was a car waiting for him by the time he came down just a few minutes later. He hadn't needed much as hopefully he'd only be gone for a few days at the most. Still, when he got to the door he put down his duffle bag and turned to Sam.
"I'm sorry", he said again. She just shook her head and put her arms around him.
"Look after yourself" was all she said.
"I will. I'll be home soon and we can have that Christmas together. Just don't go walking under that mistletoe with any other guy!" he warned her, a teasing note in his voice.
"There is no other guy Jack", she told him, hugging him tighter. "You're the only one I could even want." She paused and then continued. "I'll wait to decorate the tree until you're back so that we can do it together."
"Deal!" He leaned down and kissed her. "Take care of yourself Carter", he told her. With another brief kiss he turned and left.
And now he was dead and she would never see him again. She wandered into the family room and looked at the tree. It was still bare and the needles were starting to fall. She could feel the tears tingle in the back of her eyes. She had to water it – it couldn't die too. It was the last thing she and Jack had done together. It had to survive.
She quickly filled the base with water and then sat back, staring at the almost bare tree. The lights hung on the branches, looking lost without ornaments. She bit back a sob, although a tiny sound escaped. At that moment she leaned her head back, hoping to stop any tears from escaping. It was then that she saw the mistletoe hanging above her.
The small green plant, with its sharp leaves and white berries did what nothing else had. It broke the ice which had kept her from releasing the pain and anguish of her loss. She whimpered, and then sobbed, and then broke. The tears released – the torrents running down her cheeks as she curled up on the floor and wept.
Jack was dead.
Happy New Year.
