Author's Note:

Disclaimer Time: Touhou Project belongs to Team Shanghai Alice, whilst JoJo's Bizarre Adventure belongs to Araki Hirohiko. Credits to Ligoya and his Accelerator Getting Thrown Around in Gensokyo for the inspiration and permission to use the Pioneer Program for this story. I write this story simply to have fun.

So, welcome to A Bizarre Adventure: Hidden Eastern Wonderland (yes I know, I'm bad at naming), or ABAHEW for short.

Please excuse my horrid writing down below, I am new to writing stories and a published one at that. Now, I'd assume you'd already know this is a somewhat of a self-insert fanfic, because that's how it normally goes with MCs, doesn't it? Anyhow, a fair bit of warning; my knowledge of both JJBA and Touhou are mostly second-hand (from both the wiki, other fanfictions and of course, MEMES) and I'm pretty forgetful, so don't expect me to know everything of both worlds. I'm also new to writing stories, so please forgive me if I make stupid mistakes like inconsistency, bad grammar, accidental Mary Sues (unless you're talking about God Modes), OOC things, and so on. So if you want to see a professional's writing, I do recommend you to read other stories instead of this one.

I also feel the need to preemptively tell you all that this story isn't very action packed and tends to be more slice-of-lifey, I try to cut my losses with writing action scenes considering my inexperience. Also, if you don't like selfish asshats, again I recommend you to look somewhere else.

This is probably the second time I went on a hiatus to rewrite this story... and it's getting on me nerves. I'll post the fixed up Ch 2 sometime on the 'morrow. It's gonna be paired with the fixed chapter 3 & 4. You'll know when you see it.

Well with all that said, I bid you adieu for the time being. And now...

OPEN THE GAME!


A Bizarre Adventure: Hidden Eastern Wonderland

Chapter 1
The 36th Trailblazer, Alexander Farkas


{Earth – 2018 AD}

Sigh.

So... this just happened.

[Congratulations, Alexander Farkas!]

Let me get this straight; a random blue box along with a similarly coloured "program window" had just appeared out of thin air smackdab right in front of my face and along with that a mechanical sound blared within my eardrums.

[You are one among a hundred chosen to partake in a program that we have established: the "Pioneer of the Universe"!]

You know... before this, I was enjoying a relaxing cup of coffee in the Sunday morning,

[You will be relocated into another world of your own choosing, as we process the data you've gathered in and about your interactions with the local inhabitants of the said world.]

At this nice little cafe just down street from my house, as per my usual routine schedule...

[You will also be granted any one Ability and any one Item of your choice in order to help you survive within the said world. After some time, if we are satisfied with your results, we will be sure to put more investment into you.]

With people milling about, as if this weird box in front of my face didn't exist at all... which made some sense actually.

[Please respond to this message by saying "System Start" in an understandable voice to start the preparation of your departure. You have a time limit of 24 hours by the standards of your world's time to respond to this message. Thank you very much for listening.]

Ah, good grief...

[Addendum: We've had already figured ahead of time that you would most likely have a hard time believing this message, so we will give you a form of evidence in your hand.]

I felt something new in my empty left hand. I put down my cup and opened my palm, and I saw it. A coin. A beautifully made, intricate golden coin, with the words "Pioneer of the Universe" smoothly embossed upon its surface. I raised my eyebrows and perused the coin that had just appeared out of nowhere—finding it to be quite heavy—that surely had broken several laws of physics along its merry way. I wonder if it's made from actual gold or just some other metal coated in gold paint, which in that case preferably the former please.

I stared at the item in question for what seemed like an eternity before finally snapping out of it. "Gimme a break, is this the evidence?" I stated the obvious in deadpan. I didn't worry much about any ears that may caught my words, say what you will about humanity, but one of their often-overlooked weak points are their inability to sense anything out of the ordinary... as long as they don't scream it out like their volume is permanently set up to eleven, that is. It might be pride talking here, but I'm far better in that regard—which meant I'm more cautious, by the way—than anyone else that I know of.

After some time of silent rumination, I sighed. "I've got no time for this shit." I mumbled as I stored the coin back in my pocket, quickly mowed down the numbers of my donuts to zero and drank all my coffee in one gulp. "Let's see what you've got, blue box." I spoke, legs crossed and back arched... well, backwards.

One might say I am too trusting of... whatever the fuck this is, but let me explain you my reasons why I don't think any of this is a trick: One; a big ringing voice with a tone like one of those computerized minds are not possible in this day and age—not like this, at least. Possibly sometime in the future, but I'm in 2-K-18 Anno-fuck-mothering-Domini and random A.I with random messages crawling out of the woodwork is an impossibility during these times lest you're surfing through the Net. Two; one does not simply create gold out of thin air. It goes against all the laws of physics dammit! I'm no scientist, so I can't describe just what kinds of laws it broke, but I'm pretty sure popping things out of thin air is just impossible. And three; I'm just too curious to pass this up. I know it's petty of me, but really, would anyone not be curious after that showing?

Hm... wait a second, this is curiously familiar...

I wonder why.

I squinted as I tried to unearth some memories of my past. Just what about this that makes me feel like I should know...

Wait a second.

My eyes widened to the size of frying pans and I took a loud gasp as I finally remembered what makes it so incredibly familiar.

'You would be relocated to another world of your own choosing' It said. I cursed up a storm, though I made it a point to keep it under my breath and look about just in case people actually gives enough shit to listen.

Another world... ANOTHER-FUCKING-WORLD... what the flying fuck, I just got offered an 'Isekai' option! God, usually the Call to Adventure isn't this brazenly obvious! What the heck!?

Okay, Alex. Calm the fuck down. Breathe, girl, breathe.

Alright, now that my heart had calmed down and my train of thought isn't driving off the rails, let's think on what we should do. Since I just got offered to relocate to another world, I'm likely going to be a protagonist; heck, literally almost every story that I've read in the 'in another world' genre has the world-jumper as a main protagonist, or someone close to them at the very least. That means PLOT ARMOR and/or C Rank Luck at the minimum (ha! Suck it, Lancers!). And that too meant that I don't need to be too mindful of what I do, I can get away with pretty much anything with that...

...As long as I don't rope hapless people into my adventures. There's a thought. That can go bad, really, really bad. Not that I hate companionship, mind you, I'd love to have friends! Well, admittedly not too many friends, but just enough so I won't get too lonely. Anyway, having adventure buddies can be a problem; they can befriend you and then die, be in love with you and then die, befriend you and then betray you, or worse, befriend you and be in love with you and then betray you. God knows I would hate to get suckered by the last one. In a good number of stories that I've read, at least someone met the Grim Reaper via the MC's enemies or the MC themselves, and the latter was usually because the MC wasn't paying attention, or don't have enough power/time, or doesn't inspire loyalty or what have you.

...I just realized something. I was about to slap myself in the face, but I held back at the last second, so I just settled with a subtle grimace. Don't want to get too noticeable now, would we? Anyway, there's another position that world-jumpers may find themselves in; the antagonist/villain position. If I would be the antagonist of a story, I should expect dying a horrible death to the hands of some stubborn snot-nosed brat high in his ivory throne just before my plans could come to fruition. Hm, there's a thought. I might just jump into the villain train as some mook and hope that the MC would think that I'm just a generic nobody he should give enough shit about to care killing me...

...Unless the protagonist ain't a moral boyscout and/or someone who would kill in a heartbeat just because he could/it was necessary/it tied any loose ends. In that case, I might die a horrible death as some forgettable no-name mook, and fuck that shit. I have a measure of pride, you know!

Alright, here's to hoping I won't be given the Villain Ball by God. Cross fingers.

Dammit, there goes my good mood.

Alright, Establish Main Objective: Get enough power so anyone you make friends with, as well as yourself, don't die a horrible death.

...

I narrowed my eyes at the objective I've just made. No, nope, nope, nope. The whole point of the Isekai genre is wish fulfillment, and I'm gonna get my bloody wish fulfilled.

Mission Update: Get enough power to be able to flip DC the bird while protecting anyone I care about, or might befriend in the way.

My expression lightened, because now that's better.

Alright now that's out of the way, I hope I'm the protagonist and I don't die a horrible death. Another Isekai trope that I'm very much aware of is that the protags becomes overpowered or O.P—which isn't limited to only the Isekai genre once I think about it—and tended to have a crap ton of powers or have a power that gets stronger and crazier every damn time he fights. So I would get superpowers... God I hope one of them includes resurrection—and not necromancy at that, that would be far from satisfactory—or time travel.

I sighed. As much as my father might try to hide it, I know my mother's death all those years ago is affecting him. And it affected me too—I guess it takes something to notice something. Although, I doubt I would have to be saddened to notice dad's own, if not for that suspicious sudden spike in numbers of alcohol in the fridge just some days after the funeral giving that away. Good parents, the both of them, and I hated that somber atmosphere every time a topic concerning mother came up and I still hate it to this day. This is a golden chance to make sure my parents live happily and die happy while ensuring that I having a shining future ahead.

Though I wonder what happens if I did that... would that cause a paradox? If I saved mom, I don't see any good reason to be agreeing to any of this. Maybe I'd just jump in for the sake of it? Just because I'd thought it'd be fun? Would all of my work come undone, however? What'd happen? What'd happen!?

AHH! Too much! Too much! Why am I thinking about possibilities? Don't think too hard on what-ifs, think about what-is.

I need another cup of coffee.

I stood up and requested for another, before sitting back down and waiting for another cup. After some minutes, the waitress gave me my cup before walking away to serve another person. I slowly drank the coffee, savoring the heavenly taste, and sighed blissfully.

Ah~, much better~

Putting my hand on my chin, I continued my rumination—I absently noted this whole thing took far longer than my usual fare. Maybe if I'm supposed to be a protagonist of an Isekai story, I'd bet there'd be people watching me—there is one watcher already, even. Of course, since whoever the guy who gave me this thing had introduced themselves I should introduce myself to them as to not be rude even though they would already know who I am. It's only polite to do so after all.

The name's Alexander Farkas. Male, 22 years old and I have a looong history of killing it with the ladies—that is, killing the relationships between us. I really never got to second base with any girl I've had the pleasure to meet, and I honestly couldn't bring myself to care too much about it. That's why you won't see me bitch out a lot when women reject me. Not that it doesn't sting, however.

Anyway, I have only one surviving parent as my mother died in a road accident, may she rest in peace, and I live in a different city from my father's though I often visit him when I could. Raven black hair and eyes, Oriental traits from my father's side, average build with a leaning towards sprinting, and I have a normal desk job with decent pay. Pretty much nothing is out of the ordinary, if you don't chuck several of my odd quirks off the list.

Alright, now that that's done, let's go with the plan. Let's see what all this talk is about.

"System Start." I said with my clearest whisper, because it had said my voice had to be understandable and I don't want to catch undue attention by being a drill sergeant.

[Command received.]

[We are the System, a simple artificial mind made by the Creator, and we bid you welcome to the Pioneer of the Universe Program, Mr. Farkas.]

[In this program, you, one of the 100 new Pioneers, will be granted with a specific power and object of your choosing, which would increase the Pioneers' chances of survival as they are sent into another world that you choose as well. We will compile the gathered data as you interact with the local inhabitants of the world selected. We will also give you "Quests" to obtain more knowledge to compile, and you will of course be rewarded for completing said Quests. Your existence will be erased from any record and memories from your world of origin for the sake of convenience.]

[However, if you decide to refuse the Program for whatever reason, we will honor your wish and leave you be.]

[You may ask us if you needed more clarification on this subject matter.]

[Press the button below to start the program.]
[Yes, let's start] [No, I refuse]

[The consequence for the refusal of the program or when the time limit has been reached will be the memory deletion of the knowledge of this program's existence. Please excuse us for not stating this earlier, sir.]

[Time Remaining: 24 hours, 38 minutes]

I arched an eyebrow. "Okay... so I got a time limit." I did not expect that. Now there's a big honking timer right on the upper-right side of my vision, and every time I change my view to focus at it, it follows my shifting vision accordingly. Curious, and concerning, since that meant I only have time until tomorrow to decide. Well, newsflash, I'm not Hamlet. I won't spend time ruminating over my choice. It seems that I have about 24 more hours to prepare myself. I already have an idea about an ability and an item that I want to choose but I have time.

And if my existence will be erased... crap, what about dad? I hope I'm not damning him if I leave... should I trust this "Creator" and their "System" and leave my old father alone without his son to support him? What would happen? If I leave, then every single trace of me in this world would be gone. Poof! It would be like I had never, ever even existed. Should I leave or should I stay? 'Tis indeed the greatest question, isn't it?

...

Heheh... I guess I was an indecisive prince.

Ahh, what was I thinking? Of course there'd be nothing going wrong. After saving my mother, I shouldn't worry about father being without me. They wouldn't even notice anything was wrong. Yes, that could work—no, that would work.

Establish Main Objective: Save my fucking mother from her fucking death.

"System, I shall choose later. Give me some time to prepare myself." I stood up from my chair and drank my cup dry before paying my fare and leaving. Alright then, let's blow my bank account all the way to hell and back if my very existence is going to be erased after I left this world. Leave nothing behind.

~o0o~

{6 Hours later – My house}

After pulling every single scrap of money I saved in my bank accounts—yes, plural, just in case I got myself scammed—getting a call from my sole surviving parent about it and successfully calming him down, buying nearly a dozen plastic bags filled to the brim with foodstuffs, kitchen utensils, electric devices, etc, etc, and more et cetera, I went back to my house. Opening the front door, I was greeted with the sight of my plastic Frostmourne hung on the wall and a set of drawers. I went to the guest room to the left.

"SEVEN! FUCKING! HELLS!" I dropped the bags without a care in the world on the table and greedily inhaled some air. As I gasped for breath, I rechecked the time via the wall clock, and I saw that I have roughly 18 hours remaining. I looked back at my many plastic bags and narrowed my eyes. Maybe I have bought too much with me... that realization brought a long, aggrieved sigh and a dragged on facepalm. Oh well, not like my money would be of much use in a different world anyway. Suppressing my memory of that mistake, I brainstormed to find what fictional world I'd like to be in. Preferably somewhere safe, somewhere secure, somewhere sequestered from normality, somewhere with magic, somewhere with... little conflict...

Oh. That could work, I just need to freshen up my information on that place. "Now, let's find everything I can about that hidden world..." I said as I fetched my laptop and turned it on. I looked at it silently as the screen loaded. "Hn, maybe I should to bring my laptop as well, just in case. Battery's going to be a bitch though." I said, remembering how the battery dries up so quickly.

~o0o~

{4 Hours later}

I'm bored. "God damn it, there's so much fluff to take note about. Why can't things ever be simple?" I grumbled as I got up and begin packing my clothes, bringing the previous bags of everything and taking a bath, dress myself up in fresh clothes, specifically my favorite white shirt, black trousers and leather sandals. "Okay, let's do this... System Start."

[Press the button below to start the program.]
[Yes, let's start] [No, I refuse]

Press X to Start.

[Starting program...]

[Please speak the name of the Chosen Ability.]

I hesitated for a bit before shaking my head and just choose it. "Stand power, from the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure franchise." I clarified, just in case the System mistakes it for something else. That Diesel thing exists after all.

[[Stand Power] is chosen.]

[Select your Stand:]

Stands, from the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series. This is the ability of practically every protagonist and antagonist from Parts 3 to 8, leaving behind Hamon and Vampirism in the dust. A powerful/versatile Stand combined with a good enough user can be nearly unbeatable. About why I said nearly in that sentence; if you read or watched the series I need not to explain it to you. *Cough* Star Platinum The World *cough* Made in Heaven *cough* *cough*

If I want to even the playing field in that OP-AF-LitFam universe I had chosen then I will shamelessly ask for this ability. Well, to be honest, I could ask for a better ability, but damn it I want to see people being ORAORAORA'ed before something like Kamehameha—the fact that someone already have a Kamehameha there doesn't really help DB's case. Maybe a Mangekyo Sharingan & Rinnegan pair like Tobito, but that's besides the point.

Let's see here: 「Star Platinum」, 「Hierophant Green」, 「Magician's Red」, 「Crazy Diamond」, 「Echoes ACT1」, 「The Hand」, 「Tusk ACT1」, 「Ball Breaker」, 「Soft & Wet」, 「Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap」, 「The World」, 「Killer Queen」, 「Bad Company」, 「Stone Free」, 「Gold Experience」, 「Whitesnake」, 「Heaven's Door」, and heck, there's even fanmade stuff like Speedwagon's Stand (featured in a YouTube video I've seen once) 「Tough Guys」, as well as an impossibly good Unlimited Blade Works Stand, named 「Justice Steel」. How odd. Although, I've noticed that there wasn't any Requiem Stands on display, nor even 「Star Platinum: The World」, 「Killer Queen Bites the Dust」, 「Made in Heaven」, and 「Tusk ACT4」. Can't be OP from the get-go, I see. Hm... I don't think it exists, but at least I can ask...

"Is there a customizable Stand?" You heard that right, a customizable Stand. I want a Stand that can adapt to every situation. I could have 「Star Platinum」, but it's a melee oriented Stand to begin with. Kakyoin's Emerald Splash is evidently laughable. Hol Horse's, yes, the entire horse, 「Emperor」 has E precision because he had to direct it. It sucks, except in Heritage.

[Yes. Unfortunately, the only customizable Stand exists as a blank slate type. Once it had been molded into a true Stand, the Stand and its stats can no longer be customized.]

[Are you sure to choose this, Mr. Farkas?]
[Yes] [No]

So it DOES exist. I don't care that it can't be changed later on, this is enough for me. I wonder why it exists? Probably because there's all those fanmade stuff. Or maybe Luck has finally sided with Alexander Farkas! "Yes, of course." I said with a joyous grin plastered on my face. Who wouldn't be? Anyone would kill to get something as stupidly powerful as this. I noted that it was starting to strain, but I wasn't paying too much attention on it.

[Please speak the name of the chosen Stand Power.]

Thank you, System. You just gave me the free pass to get the most OP Stand power ever. "Summoning other Stands."

[Stand Ability: "Summoning other Stands" is chosen.]

[Design your Stand:]

This... is going to take a while, I narrowed my eyes as I sweatdropped. "Uh... I don't think we would have the time." I said sheepishly. I think I can feel the thing silently staring at me evenly and deadpanned "are you kidding me", though I would bet it's probably my sometimes hyperactive imagination in action.

[The timer is stopped as long as is needed, good sir.]

I saw the clock right in my eyes to make sure it didn't bluff. And would you know it, it really is stopped. Welp, time to go crazy, no pun intended. "Thanks." I really am.

~o0o~

{Maybe half an hour later}

And done, and it was done even faster than I'd thought it would be. I got myself a cool looking Stand but it looked rather edgy to be honest, which is a bit hypocritical of me since my old classmates had often called me edgy, though to be fair I have yet to do many of the things the average people classify as edgy—but that might be my pride talking.

Anyway, my Stand is a tall humanoid Stand for convenience's sake, wearing a peaked cap with a golden twin-headed eagle of the Imperium of Man on it, and a gold-colored gas mask covering the entirety of its face connected to a rebreather on its back. It wore a golden plate armor and black officer shirt under a free-flowing high-collared black duster coat with beige-colored insides adorned with golden medals and highlights. As additions, it had a belt with three oversized pouches, a red sash, a pair of black gloves, black military trousers, shin guards with an eagle's head covering their upper part, and brown combat boots. Basically, its appearance resembles a Commissar of the Kriegan Death Korps. Honestly, the description for those Commissars made me laugh so much.

And to finish it off, I made it to sound perfectly like the anime DIO as well because I don't really see why not, though it does sound somewhat distorted like his incarnation in Heritage for the Future. I didn't bother with anything inside, so its armor is pretty much hollow.

"And it's done! My Stand, 「We Are One」, is done!" I said with a satisfied grin. Couldn't choose a Rock-song-themed name, so I gave up thinking on Rock songs and went with We Are One (or simply WAO) by Triarii. I could name it as Wonderful World or whatchamacallit, but I used it mainly because of its inclusion in the If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device series.

Oh wait! The Stand Sta-

[Initiating Ability installment...]

"Wait- wha-" Before I could finish my line of thought, the pain train came. "FUCKIN ECK-!" The wave of PAIN—yes I had to emphasize it because of how ridiculous it is—came from my brain, I guess. Everything is hazy with this shit taking up my mind. I fell and clutched my head, gasping and screaming off my lungs, hoping this would stop. Fuck- help!

HELP!

AW FUCK! HELP!

OHMYGODTHEPAINSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP-

O-oh? I-it's over.

[Installment finished.]

Gasping and choking for breath, I wiped away my drool and tears from my face. I frowned at the small puddle I've just made on the floor. I felt a tang of metal in my tongue. Is that blood? No, I'm just imagining things. I wonder if my neighbors would notice my bitching and screaming. "I know the head is a universal weakness but holy motherfucking shit that hurts like a goddamn bitch." I groused as I made my way to the bathroom sink and properly wiping my face and hands clean, wettening a towel and wiped the puddle of bodily fluid on the floor.

Hopefully I won't be dealing with this kind of pain again in the future.

After I calmed down, I can feel it. The Stand, I mean, or something close to it at least. The point is, I felt something that's utterly different from the norm. "Let's test it." I said, "First off, let's summon a fist." And then I summoned a gloved fist. It's surprisingly clear and not at all transparent, considering my-

[Your concerning lack of stamina will be overlooked for your Stand. You can use the Stand's power to the fullest regardless of the limitation of your pathetic endurance.]

Well that explains it. Not sure if I should be happy or offended by that statement though, but I know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Now, it's time. "「We Are One」!" And I unleashed my Stand in its full glory.

"Wryyy!" Yep, it sounds so similar to Takehito Koyasu, though it had a... certain "charismatic" and "devil-like" vibe to it, to paraphrase.

"So..." I sighed. "I need practice with this thing... and I still have more than an hour, so I guess I do have time. Attack rush!"

~o0o~

{50 minutes later}

The room was in ruins—and I'd like to think that was an understatement. Viridian gemstones are stuck in the walls, tables and pretty much every surface I can see. Slash marks and holes made by gunfire are equally prevalent. The broken remains of several cameras, phones and radio are strewn all over the place. Although there wasn't any mark belonging to the last Stand in my "Stand Arsenal", though that was because it wasn't made to destroy things, not at this stage at least.

"Okay, I think I got myself introduced to 「We Are One」's capabilities well enough." I nodded as I spoke to myself. To recap, my Stand had D in Power, C in Speed, D in Range, E in Durability, C in Precision, and E in Learning. Pretty shit all things considered, nevertheless I've been graciously given a good Five-Man Band of Stands to ease up my suffering. I'm a Turtle player you see. Well, technically it's four since one was a literal gun, but that's just semantics. "Next, the item." Yes, the item. It is very, very important. And very, very simple.

[Please speak the name of the Chosen Item.]

"Infinite Space Bag, but make it smaller."

["Infinite Space Bag" is chosen.]

I nodded and smiled in satisfaction, "Good."

[Transferring the Chosen Item...]

As the System said that, a small bag suddenly falls into my lap. "Now, it's test number 2." I said with a satisfied smile adorning my face.

~o0o~

{30 minutes later}

"So, items that can be stored inside are the ones that more or less fit into the opening of the bag... hum, logic worked surprisingly." I said as I crossed my arms and grabbed my chin in one of those typical thinking poses. I had finished packing up everything that can fit into the bag. Earlier, I had tested its limits by trying to fit my widescreen TV into the damn thing, and it couldn't let the electronic device in. I guess I can't use it as a replacement for an Inventory now, can't I?

Oh, and one last thing to do.

"System, can I have my body transformed into something like a 16 year old German once I finish my immigration into that world?" I asked the System.

[Sending request...]

[Your request is accepted, sir.]

I blinked once, then twice, and then thrice. "Holy shit!" Honestly, I am astonished with how quick their response was; they probably didn't care as long as they get intel from my interactions, I theorized. I snorted in amusement at that line of thought, getting very impatient are we?

About this "turn into a 16 year old thing", I know I'm putting myself at a massive disadvantage with how low my STR stat is going to be, but this is why I have WAO and a brand new survival knife that I just bought—which I bet would be thrown away veeeeery quickly as better stuff gets unlocked. Now let's hope their skin aren't made out of iron. Anyways, the primary purpose for this age BS is "communication". Since about half of the main cast look like teenagers with the rest being children and young adults, so why don't I just turn myself into teenager as well instead of a 20 year old trying to be friendly with the kids like Joseph-jiji or Polnareff? I know it'd look quite odd... though I'm pretty sure some of them would look relatively more mature. And as to why I chose to look like a German? It connects to what my fake surname would be, and really just because I want to.

Not just that, becoming a teenager also tends to make people underestimate you. People would be more cautious against a grown man, but a teenage boy, that's a different matter. Also, I would prefer some more time enjoying my youth. Old coots can sympathize, I'm sure.

Now, that that's taken care of, I grabbed my leather jacket; you know what they say about coats and jackets, when a knife wants to meet a body, they have to meet the jacket first. Learned it from the Kujo Jotaro himself, and maybe I should cram in my novels and mangas there like he did.

Well it's additional protection! You can't really disagree with that... even if it's impractical during anywhere but a battle.

"System, I'm going to pick the destination."

[Please speak the chosen Universe's name.]

"The world of Touhou Project."

[Destination: Gensokyo, Touhou Project]

[Are you sure?]
[Yes] [No]

Yeah, Project Shrine Maiden it is. Hidden magical society, unbeatable floating miko—unless you count those times with the cyborg or the moonbitches—"ordinary" mahou shoujo, Mystic Eyes of Boundary Perception, Dio Brando knockoff, Youkai Jesus, the priestess and her cloud Stand, immortal phoenix girl and a whole host of other Japanese fantasy and anime bullcrap that I will have to deal with.

Why Touhou you may ask? Well I only know of two other universes that I have reliable knowledge of, that being JJBA and Warhammer (both the Fantasy and SPAYCE! editions). I could go to JJBA!Earth and fuck with canon, but I'll get my ass handed to me most likely, not to mention of the likes of Pucci or Valentine or maybe even Heaven Ascension DIO. I also could go to WHF/40K, and then get blammed by the Inquisition for having a Stand or, the far more likely option, get mindfucked by Chaos till the end of time. The former two universes are bad enough, and Warhammer is simply worse.

Aside from those three, I won't dare venture into uncharted land, because I hate not knowing about shit. As aptly put by the Blood Ravens; Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

I pressed Yes.

[Please insert the Pioneer Coin.]

The blue box from before had reappeared, now with a rectangle-shaped hole on its surface. I reached for the coin that I've honestly forgotten during all that rumination and fished it out of my pocket. I flipped it in my right hand once, twice, before looking at its shining form. I found myself looking back at that time in the cafe down street, my doubts bubbling back like boiling water.

"For the sake of your father, why don't you just... let all of this go? Why should we go, even? Couldn't we just live with our father? Help him? Why should we even fight Fate? What if, against all odds, you fail to find what you set out for? What if you are unable to travel back in time? What if you die? What if-"

The doubts fell like drops amidst the stormy rain. I feel my breath tightening, and I can safely bet my ass that anyone can see the indecision and guilt in my eyes. I breathed in, and my grip on the coin tightened like a vice. I breathed out, calming myself down.

No. I will not let myself fall. I'll do whatever it takes! I can't stop! I'll get what I want and not even God can stop me!

Whew. Say what you will about clichéd lines, they surprisingly work in pumping you up when you yourself said them. I, of course, am not crazy enough to believe some of it, but I just hope that I'd only stop pursuing my goal for a brief moment and not, well, forever. During my musing, I must have inserted the coin into the blue box as another blue screen appeared in front of my face.

[Coin detected.]

[Initiating Transfer process...]


{Muenzuka Gensokyo}

Muenzuka; a resting place for the nameless dead! One of the scant places in Gensokyo where the Great Hakurei Barrier is weak! Located at the very end of the scantly-trodden Road of Reconsideration; it is an ocean of cherry blossom trees, a land covered with red spider lilies, and within it exists a species of very peculiar cherry blossoms when compared to the rest!

Two of the most notable unique characteristics of this bizarre breed of trees are that they are quite large in size alongside their flowers that are purple in colour!

Once a year, these flowers will bloom, and the purple cherry blossoms shall purify this land and sever all hesitation from every phantoms and ghosts dwelling within Muenzuka, coercing them to walk the Road of Liminality!

In modern slang; once a year, the trees will do house cleaning and tell all the spirit things to get the fuck out from here and get judged by the Yama already!

And one random, unknown teenager had suddenly appeared in front of one of these large trees!

~o0o~

Suddenly and without warning whatsoever I find my eyes scanning over a forest, a forest of cherry blossoms with red lilies dotting the ground. I absentmindedly stood like that for a minute before my mind finally rebooted and realized what had happened; the "transfer" has been completed.

"What." I found myself say from the sheer bizarreness of the situation. After I snapped from my trance, I looked around and finally I looked back. And I couldn't help but utter another dumb "what". Because you see, there's one really weird tree right in my field of vision—one big ass fucking tree, and with purple flowers at that. I looked back and forth, and narrowed my eyes at the sight that would make landscape painters cry. Hm... a large purple-flowered sakura tree, plus a ton of red lilies on the ground, one place had come to my mind. This is probably Muenzuka; a place where an Outsider could accidentally get into Gensokyo (besides the Hakurei Shrine or possibly the Forest of Magic), and almost every time become Youkai lunch/dinner, and is stated to be a graveyard for the nameless and the hopeless. I cringed at the memory.

I took out my survival knife from the bag. It felt weird. In fact, everything felt weird. The knife had felt... somehow heavier. I looked at myself, still in my attire, leather jacket, white shirt, black pants, bag, and leather sandals. "...nichts hat sich verändert?" I blinked once, twice. Oh wait, 'I can't believe I've had forgotten about it literally minutes after I had requested it.', I had an accent there. I even spoke a different fucking language. Now I have the body of a random German in the ripening age of 16, and hopefully decent for some anime bullshit. I don't think it'd be much of a problem-maker, unless I have to deal with the Outside World. That's going to be a pain in the ass, and more so because I'm a man in a kid's body.

*Ding*

Eh?

[Scanning...]

[Requesting an User Name, please speak of your chosen User Name.]

I narrowed my eyes. Name huh... 'Eh, new life, new name, I guess.' I have been thinking about this for a while. Which one of the countless should I pick? Is that even a question? "Joseph Bernstein." Ripping off the names of both Joseph Joestar and Rugal Bernstein, I'm gonna get sued for doing that aren't I?

[User Name confirmed: "Joseph Bernstein".]

[Sir, if you ever find your User Name to be unsightly, you can always change it to anything you'd like with nary a fee. Please do remember that no one will be automatically notified of the changes, so we recommend not using it too many times in order to avoid confusion.]

[Displaying Pioneer status...]

[36th Pioneer Newbie]
[Lv. 1]
[Joseph Bernstein]

[Ability Points: 0]
[Item Points: 0]

Okay, so I'm a noob, that's pretty much a given. But that "Points" system is interesting however.

*Ding*

[1* Combat Test: Fight Off the Youkai – In Progress]
[The local youkai had seen your arrival, initiate first contact with them and survive.]

Ah, of course, the local youkai. I heard some laughter behind the tree ahead, as two—no, three short humanoid figures appeared from left to right. A green grot with a flat top, another green grot with a white afro hairdo, and a yellow gretchin with its head covered by bandage and with thongs and loincloth as their main attire. 'Reminds me of three certain Pillar Men to be honest.' Oh, and on their heads...

[Lesser Youkai]
[Lv. 4]
[
お化け, Obake]

[Lesser Youkai]
[Lv. 5]
[
お化け, Obake]

[Lesser Youkai]
[Lv. 6]
[
お化け, Obake]

'My God...' I thought they would be higher, being youkai (even if a lesser one at that) and all. 'This is just sad.'

"Ahaha, ahahaha..." They laughed with zero-ass care in the world, and the yellow one is even doing that "keikaku dohri" pose while standing. Probably because they saw dinner magically appear right in front of them even though I can obviously see that I'm taller than them. Well, too bad for them that dinner will fight back.

"Oh no..." I mouthed off sarcastically and readied my knife and summoned my Stand, but they just laughed harder, and who cares? I'm the one who'd laugh in the end. And one of them stepped forward, the hairy one with a smug grin plastered on its face. "Come here!" I gestured with my free hand to aggro the thing, though I don't think the youkai actually understands but by the looks of it, it worked nonetheless. It lunged at me. I backed off, and it landed at my previous position face first on the ground.

I saw the opportunity, threw my knife to my Stand and sent 「We Are One」 to slash at its face, running at great speed and attacked, "Muda!", while retreating after that. It cried, most likely from the pain and grabbed its own face. Another opportunity, 「We Are One」 dashed and stabbed its face. They both fell to the ground with my Stand on top. The grot trashed around uselessly as my Stand kept holding the knife. I wanted to end this little scuffle quick before the other two joined in, so I did something that can only happen within the depths of my own imaginations before my induction to the Program. My Stand repeatedly and rapidly stab the lil' grot's face and torso like a machine gun. "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA!"

"AAAAARGGHH!" The grot screamed louder—and believe it or not it's noise now matched my Stand's in volume—its blood somehow splattering onto my Stand, and I stared at it throughout. I surveyed the situation, the hairy dude's voice died down eventually with its body twitching, and I know for a fact it'll die soon enough. The other two were looking at their dying accomplice, utterly shocked with what had just occurred. I chuckled, that's my first ever kill, killing a fellow living being, which was killed by my hand. Well it was my Stand's, but still.

I blinked when I realize I got a kick out of it if my chuckling was any indication. I wonder why, maybe because they are inhuman beasts? I mean, would you feel bad killing a wolf whether by accident or by mens rea? I don't, for both.

Now that I looked at the other two once more, it seems like they've heard my vocal amusement and now looked hella pissed off. I chuckled yet again, time to test my Stand power in a live combat situation. The two of them moved up to do a shoddy pincer attack, the green one on my left and the yellow one on my right. They moved forward slowly to my position—as I said, shoddy—and I answered with a lazy wave, summoning Kakyoin's Stand, "「Hierophant Green」!", and immediately 「Hierophant Green」 charged up its infamous Emerald Splash. Backing up, I then remember that behind me was that large tree, so I had no choice but to stop.

"Waaagh!" Seemed like me stopping was the signal for two of them to leap at me. And would you know it, 「Hierophant Green」 has finished charging up. And now I unleashed the most useless ranged attack in Part 3 just to test its effectiveness here.

"EMERALD SPLASH!" 「Hierophant Green」 screamed it's attack despite not being told to do so. Was it reflex? Or did my Stand Ability also brought a tiny bit of Kakyoin there? Anyway, the attack went beyond my expectations. Both gretchins are now dead with their corpses littered with green gems. Wait, there were more gems than in the anime/manga. It was more gems than anytime during my makeshift training. Huh, must have overcharged it somehow. I don't think I ordered it to do so, though.

*Ding*

[1* Combat Test: Fight Off the Youkai – Completed]
[The local youkai had seen your arrival, initiate first contact with them and survive.]
[Rewards: 1,000 Ability Points & Item Points]

[Level Up!]

[Level Up!]

*Ding*

[1* Judgment Test: Get Out of Muenzuka – In Progress]
[Discover a way to get out of Muenzuka]

Thank goodness, now that that's gone I can relax for a bit, but need to run the fuck away ASAP. Really don't wanna be here when the news gets back to their family or clan members. But first, I didn't have enough time to check it out, but now... what's the point of the Points thing?

[The Point is a currency value within the Program that can be exchanged according to its type, which is divided in two: Ability Points and Item Points—or for a shorthand, AP and IP respectively. Ability Points can be traded for various Skills and Abilities, while Item Points can be traded for a number of objects and Items. Abilities and Items can be converted back into points through the "Sell" feature. The payback is a randomized number, however, but it would always be lower than the subject's purchasing price and at the same time not outrageously low.]

I blinked. The heck is this, mind reading?

[Affirmative, for convenience and simplicity, you may issue a command to us with your mind without voicing the commands.]

Holy shit, that is convenient. I thought about what to do next for a bit. Display status.

[36th Pioneer Newbie]
[Lv. 3]
[Joseph Bernstein]

[Ability Points: 3.000]
[Item Points: 3.000]

Oh wow, would you look at that—I got 3,000 points from all that killing. Speaking of killing, I looked at the two grots I've just recently killed, both of them are bleeding profusely from all the emeralds despite being dead. The yellow submarine has its nose and left eye pierced, and the one with the hairdo has a ripped forearm (how? Its fricken gemstones!). My shoulder slumped and I sighed, it's somewhat tiring and unsettling honestly.

To clarify, I'm actually no stranger to fighting. I've been through three fights in my entire lifetime: one was when I was still in lower secondary. I had forgotten what had actually happened back then however. The second was when I was in high school, which was a one-sided fight as far as I remember. I managed to injure my bully and give him a damaged eye with a Dio-style thumb jab, but I still end up battered and bloodied. The school threatened to expel the two of us if we fight again, so we begrudgingly stopped, but that didn't stop us from acting like assholes to each other.

As for blood, I don't know about you, but I've been exposed to murder and homicide stuff since I was 9. My parents didn't really mind, though they had made it a point to cover my eyes during the "mature" scenes until I'm "old enough". Granted TV isn't a reliable method of looking at an actual murder, since those gore are all fake, which I learned when I was older. But the point was I don't get squicked easily by blood. I do, however, prefer to stay away from blood if I can, because it's such a bitch to clean off.

Regardless, I'm digressing here. This was legitimately in self-defense, since I am an Outsider and all Outsiders are free game in Gensokyo.

...I really need to toughen up, even if for just a little bit-

*Ding*

[3* Sudden Quest – In Progress]
[Survive the encounter with the Youkai of Boundaries.]

NANI-

*Clap*

*Clap*

*Clap*

I hear the sound of clapping hands behind me, so soft but I could still clearly hear it. Youkai of Boundaries? Survive?! Oh crapbaskets... I turned my head slowly, slowly, from my right—my heart kept beating ever faster as I turned my head to the location of the sound, and finally I saw her.

A tear in the middle of thin air abruptly appeared with numerous eyes of various sizes inside the tear glaring at me, as if they were observing me, no, they are observing me? And there was a smiling lady, sitting atop of the gap; golden eyes glinting of mischief, with a long mop of blond hair adorned by a pale white mob cap with a red ribbon on it, wearing a purple gown and a paper fan in her hand. It's the Gap Youkai.

Yakumo Yukari.

I only have one thing to say to myself; you are already dead.

...

I really need to toughen myself up.


[ TO BE CONTINUED |\|]


Oh and here's his Stand Stats if you're wondering:

Stand Name: We Are One

Stand User: Alexander Farkas/Joseph Bernstein

Namesake: We are One (Triarii song)

Stand Type: Automatic Stand
Multiple Power Stand

Stats

Destructive Power: D
Speed: C
Range: D
Durability: E
Precision: C
Developmental Potential: E

Abilities

We Are One is an automated Stand that is able to follow very precise commands. And aside from that it is also in possession of two incredibly powerful and versatile abilities ready to be used at Joseph's beck and call.

However, this is majorly offset with its pitiful strength; a lack of range, low destructive capacity, a fragile form and the complete incapability of bettering itself without using the Pioneer System. As such, the Stand requires precise and careful manoevres, strategies and tactics from its user's part to be used to its full effectiveness.

Stand Summoning (Lv. 1)

We Are One can summon other Stands both canon and fanmade as long as it is within its Stand Arsenal, however it can only summon weaker stands at this level, examples being; Hierophant Green, Echoes ACT 1, Silver Chariot, Emperor, and Hermit Purple just to name a few. All summoned Stands are of less quality than the original, and may be destroyed through more conventional means, though summoned Stands that are hurt does not harm Joseph. Summoned Stands' powers may or may not take a toll on Joseph himself.

Leveling up will of course unlock more Stands along the way, and Stands can be gained through spending Ability Points, especially the non-canon Stands (such as The World Over Heaven for example). Can only summon one Stand at a time (one extra summoning slot can be bought for 50.000 Ability Points).

Stand Power Channeling (Lv. 0)

We Are One can channel the unique powers of other Stands. However, the Stand can only channel the power of Stands inside of its Stand Arsenal. Channeled Stands' powers may or may not take a toll on Joseph himself (ex: Star Platinum: The World giving Jotaro heart problems may also happen to Joseph as well). While channeled, these Stands cannot be used as a summon and vice-versa.

We Are One also does not gain the channeled Stand's natural power. Example: If We Are One channels the power of The World. The Stand can now stop time, but does not gain the Speed, Destructive Power, or even the Durability of The World's.

Currently locked, though this ability can be unlocked either by spending 14.000 Ability Points or getting to Lv. 21.

Independent Action (Lv. 1)

We Are One can sustain itself and work at full power regardless of Joseph's stamina, although it still cannot go outside of its effective range without losing power. It also has a degree of independence, but still adheres to Joseph's psychic commands to the letter. At maximum level, the Stand becomes fully autonomous and sentient (still unflinchingly loyal however), even staying active even if Joseph was out cold or worse.

Pioneer Program Upgrade

Thanks to the Pioneer of the Universe program, as Joseph levels up and gain new skills, the performance of We Are One gradually becomes better. Joseph's additional perks and abilities are also carried over. However, this ability is limited in its natural power being permanently fixed in that state (the Stand Parameters somewhat accurately shows the Stand's natural power in this regard).

Don't take the Stats/Parameters too seriously, I mean, many in the Jojo side know stand stats often doesn't really mean much. Especially in Stardust Crusaders (look up xForts' channel if you don't get what I'm saying). But it does give some insight as to how powerful We Are One is without its bullshit abilities, which is to say absurdly shitty.

If you were wondering what inspired We Are One, for the ability it was the rumors that ZA WARUDO was supposed to have all the Joestars' Stands, and the appearance was very obviously based off a random DeviantArt image of an Imperial Commissar I found (I originally wanted to use a Custode, but they're way too big and intimidating to have such a dinky natural power), while the name just came to me when I was rewatching Emperor's TTS series (it makes sense, I mean it's basically every Stand in one).