What If

This is a really short lil fic I wrote after I finished my theory composition. I was spent a whole weekend off and on writing a Theme and Variations, so writing was my reward to me at four am. Haha. Hope this is enjoyed by someone out there.

I lie on the double bed, close to Mulder, but never close enough. I feel as though at any minute I could just roll over and be in his arms. If I did, I doubt he'd care…but I can't. There's that boundary. It's always there.

He smiles at me.

"What if you hadn't gotten assigned to the X Files?"

Now it's my turn to smile. This is one of our oldest games. "Then I never would have met you, and I wouldn't know anything about you, aside from you bureau nickname."

He chuckles. "Spooky Mulder…the UFO chaser. You'd think I was nuts."

I raise an eyebrow. "But I know you and I still think you're nuts."

He glares at me.

"What if…you had never stumbled onto the X Files?"

Mulder stares. "I'd probably be making a ton of money and be one of the best agents in the violent crimes section."

"Would you prefer that?" I ask, knowing the answer.

"No, because just like if you hadn't been assigned to me, I might never have know you."

That's more sentimental than he usually gets…but he doesn't let those words ring for long, before asking…

"What if you were suddenly attracted to Frohike?" Mulder can hardly containing his amusement at that idea.

"I'd kill myself." I shoot back without hesitation. He laughs.

"What if I killed myself?" I ask menacingly. "Or got killed by Donnie Pfaster or that alien virus, or whatever?"

Mulder looks at me, very seriously. "I wouldn't have anything to keep me going."

I look at him, and see his face full of pain at the mere thought of losing me. It hurts to see it, but makes me feel good and loved at the same time.

"I really don't know what I'd do without you…"

I place my hand over his and give it a squeeze.

"What if I kissed you…?" I ask softly. I've wanted to ask that for some time…It's oddly appropriate now, to rid that pained look from his face and replace it with amused surprise. "It's not your turn…" he scolds, smiling as his lips fall onto mine. "But I'd kiss you back…"