Sam & Max copyright Steve Purcell

Batman copyright Bob Kane/DC Comics

The MASK copyright Dark Horse Comics/New Line Cinema


It was a Dark and Quiet night upon the city of New York...

deep within the underground basement laboratory of the apartment/office building of the "Straight & Narrow" street was a lone thirteen year old girl.

she had short bushy ginger red hair and, wore a yellow shirt, green vest and red skirt.

her name was Darla Gugenheek (a name she Despises)
and, she was a super-genius who served as the "gadget girl"
for the freelance police detectives: Sam & Max (who lived upstairs)

Darla sat alone in her dark lab.
she was at a desk, fiddling with some piece of technology.

Normally, she's be hard at work building some ludercous device for the "fat dog" and "crazed rabbit" that she considered her friends.

but, tonight...she just wasn't in the mood for inventing.

Darla narrowed her eyes angrily, scowling.
she finally growled in her throat as she grabbed her device and, viciously threw it across the room, smashing it to pieces.

Darla breathed heavily, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

she tried to wipe them away...but, this proved pointless.
the girl finally leaned against the table, burying her face in her arms.

Darla cried silently.
it starte dout small...but, soon grew louder.

"my...f-fault." began darla, her voice cracking

"it's...it's all my fault."

Darla rose her head up, revealing her red bloodshot eyes.
she wiped her tears away, sniffing loudly as she tried to calm herself down.

Darla then looked as a simple photograph on her desk.
she then reached over, and with a shaky hand, grasped it.

she looked at the picture...and, frowned.
it was of a boy her age with shaggy blonde hair.

His name...was Jake.
he was a boy who went to her school who had a serious crush on her.

he was so infatuated, that he constantly visited her.
he even "tried" to help her with her inventions (and, her job assisting "Sam & Max.")

but, a "Genius" he was not.
and, Darla was never the "Kissy-Kissy, Goo-Goo" type of girl.

she responded to his romantic advances with her typical sarcasm and snark.
more often than not, she (literally) threw him out of the aprentment building.

but, she had to admit: Jake's determination was impressive.
and, even SHE found herself growing "fond" of him and his kindness.

then, came the day when it all changed.
the day she truely (in the worst ways imaginable) lost him.

Darla was tinkering with a "dimensional gateway" (some she decided to do out of boredom)
and, true to form: Jake wanted to help her in ANY way he possably could.

and, as usually: Darla hid her appretiation with a mask of Sarcasm and Insults.

To this day...she cursed that dreadful night with every fiber of her being.

her gateway suddenly activated.
and, withour warning: began to suck everything into a random alternate dimension.

the vortex was aimed at Darla.
but, Jake pushed her out of the way..and, got sucked in instead.

and, to "The Geek's" horror: the gateway malfuctioned and shorted out.

Darla spent DAYS trying to get it working again.
and, once she finally did, she begs and pleaded for Sam and Max's help in saving him.

naturally, the duo couldn't resist venturing into an Unknown Parallel Universe.
so, they and Darla went thru the portal...and, into a world unlike anything they've ever seen.

It was a Dark City...a city that was truely "Hell On Earth"
where criminals and supervillains ran the streets, and the Police were helpless to stop them.

the trio saw things that even freaked Max out...

a man with a scarred face who liked to flip a two-headed coin.

a man dressed in green who always spoke in Riddles.

and, a short bird-like man with a taste for Destructive Weapons

but, the WORST of them all...already destroyed Darla Gugenheek's life.

Darla remembered venturing into that demeneted looking canival with Sam & Max.
where they encounted a man in a purple suit with paper white skin, red lips and green hair.

with this "demon clown" was a woman in a red-and-black jester outfit.

and, to Darla's horror...was Jake.
she saw what this "Joker" and "Harley Quinn" had done to him.

poor jake's face and body was horrably cut up and, was smeared with chalk white and ruby red facepaint.

but, worst of all: Jake's sanity was totally bent.
he just sat chained up in that chair with a crazed look on his face laughing just as maniacaly as the "monster" who did this unspeakable thing to him.

Then...The Joker laughed.
he laughed rather cruely at Darla, mocking her for her failure to save "Joker Junior"

at that moment...something in Darla snapped.
in a hateful rage, she snatched away Max's gun and fired at Joker and Harley.

she shouted profanities, intent on killing Jake's tormentors.
it took both Sam and Max to wrestle her down and stop her.

but, luckily...Joker and Harley didn't get away.
Two figues burst into the area and took them both down.

one was a man dressed in a black bat-like suit.
the other was a teenager in red and green.

As Batman and Robin carted Joker and Harley away...
Darla ran over and pulled Jake in a tight embrace, crying hard.

Jake's mind was so shattered, that he didn't even know who she was.
he just sat there laughing, his eyes blank and devoid of any emotion other than Madness.

Darla agreed to let Jake stay in the strange world and be kept at Arkham Asylum.
where it was hoped that the doctors there could undo Joker's damage and return Jake to sanity.

Whether this was possible or not was debatable.
but, Darla knew that whatever happened: Jake would NEVER be the same.

she just wished she has been more open to Jake.
let him know just how she Really felt, instead of pretending that she didn't care.

now, she feared "her jake" was lost forever.

Darla finally slammed the photo down and sighed.

"i'm sorry, jake...i really am."

Darla inhaled deeply, then exhaled.
she opened her eyes and glanced over at her inactive dimensional gateway.

the red haired girl then narrowed her eyes, scowling.

[Gotham City, Arkham Asylum, Much Later]

Darla approached the cold drak gates of the centuries old Asylum grounds.
the gates opened automaticly, though they opened SLOWLY with a creepy "creaking" sound.

Darla hugged her arms tight as she entered the gates.
she walked down the long dirt, until she finally reached the main building.

she was greeted by some men and women in white coats.
they were Doctors, and they were expecting her.

one female doctor smiled at her.

"Welcome, Miss Gugenheek: we've been expecting you."

Darla just scowled as the male doctors snickered.
she decided to ignore them and approach the female doctor.

"i want to see Jake."

the female doctor sighed sharply, frowning.

"yes...i know." began the doctor

"please, follow me."

the doctors walked back into the building.
Darla exhaled, then followed them inside.

the inside of the facility...was VERY creepy.
Darla walked down a long hallway, with cells at each side.

the cells had energy gates, rather than prison bars.
and, Darla could clearly see each inmate within them.

some of them looked frightning, others looked "disturbed"
and, some...didn't even pass off as "human"

"HEY, CUPCAKE!"

Darla looked and saw the one person she hated more than anything: The Joker.

"Come to see me?"

Darla scowled hatefully at him.

"no, i'm here to see JAKE.
you know, the sweet innocent boy that you TORTURED!"

Joker grinned, chuckling sinisterly.

"Jakey was miserable, i just gave him good laugh, that's all.
you REEEALLY need to lighten up, Kiddo: your almost as sour as Bat-Brain."

Darla snarled at him.
she then continued to walk with the doctors.

"later, toots, HA! HA! HA! HAAAAAA!"

after a moment passed, the female doctor looked at Darla.

"Please, don't provoke him, miss.
you'll only encourage him, maybe even give him "ideas" on his next victim."

Darla scoffed.

"whatever..."

Darla then looked at the doctor.

"have you...made any progress?"

the doctor shrugged.

"we've...cured him of most of joker's influence.
but, your friend is no where near recovery."

"all he does is sit in his cell, talking to himself." said another doctor

Darla looked down, frowning.

"and...his face?"

"we managed to repair most of the damage.
but, i'm afraid some of his scars won't heal, and are damaged permanantly."

Darla felt a rush of anger boil inside her.
now, she hated Joker and Quinn MORE.

she felt she may hate them until the day she died.

Darla finally exhaled sharply...then, spoke.

"does he...r-remember me?"

"we're not sure." replied a doctor

"When we tried talking to him, asking about his past.
he kept mentioning a "mean girl with red hair."

Darla felt her blood run cold.
was that REALLY what Jake saw in her now?, just another tormentor?

the doctors soon stopped.
Darla looked in a cell...and, nearly lost her breath.

there was Jake, huddled alone in a corner.
his eyes were wide and his body was shaking tremendously.

he looked like a frightened child, or a scared animal.

"oh, god...jake." said Darla, tears in her eyes

the female doctor sighed sharply.
she then took a keycard and slid it into a console.

the energy barrier then fizzled and disappeared.

"don't take too long: he gets "fidgety" easily."

Darla nodded.
she then walked slowly into the cell.

she took a moment to stare at Jake.
she could see the faint scars on his face, arms and legs.

truely, Joker had left his mark on him.
one that would remain with him for the rest of his life.

the tears in his eyes was a clear indication of his suffering.
Darla finally found her voice a spoke very, VERY softly.

"jake."

Jake stopped shaking, flinching a bit.
he acted as if he had just become aware that he wasn't alone.

he looked and stared at Darla.
to darla's shock, he reacted in fear.

"jak-"

"please...d-don't hurt me!"

Darla was stunned at this: Jake was Terrified of her.
how could he ever think that she would hurt him?

"jake, it's ME."

Darla approached Jake slowly.
Jake scooted back, pressing his back against the wall.

"N-NO, Don'T!"

Darla was near tears, it pained her to see Jake like this.
she finally knelt down to the sobbing boy and placed her hand gently on his face.

"jake, it's ME: Darla Gugenheek." said Darla, desperate for Jake's trust

Jake looked at darla, his eyes wide with terror.
Darla stroked his head, looking at him with kind eyes.

"don't you remember me?
i'm your friend, your...(gulp) your GIRL."

Jake stared at Darla with wide eyes.
his shaking soon stopped as he slowly relaxed.

"g-girl?...f-friend?"

Darla nodded, blushing a bit.

"yes: i'm your g-girlfriend."

Jake looked away.
though his body was still trembling, he was now calmer around Darla.

Darla felt her tears return.
she then put her arms around Jake, hugging him tightly.

"i'm sorry, jake...i'm so sorry."

"girl...hurt me."

Darla felt fresh tears fall down her cheek.

"i know...and, i'm sorry.
i NEVER should of hurt you, i never wanted this."

"why girl...hurt me?"

Darla cried.

"i...i don't know!
i guess i was just...s-scared."

"scared?"

Darla nodded, still crying.

"i'm sorry, jake...please forgive me."

Jake stared at darla.
he then reached over and gently wiped away her tears.

Darla smiled weakly, feeling that this meant yes.
she then held Jake close, staring right into his eyes.

she then kissed Jake softly on his lips.

"i love you, jake...now and forever."

Jake stared right into Darla's eyes.

"darla...make the nightmares go away?"

Darla shut her eyes tight, letting her tears fall.

"i...i'll TRY.
we're all trying to help you."

Jake smiled weakly.
he then leaned over and kissed Darla.

Darla then hugged Jake tightly, stroking his hair.

"i promise...i'll make things right.
and, i'll Never stop loving you, EVER."

at that moment, one of the doctor's cleared their throats.

"uhh, Miss.
i do hate to interrupt, but-"

"PLEASE!" began Darla, desperatly holding Jake

"give us more time."

Darla held Jake close as tightly as she could.
she finally released him, shedding a tear as she did.

"i...i have to go."

"Go?, GO WHERE?"

"home.
but, i'll be back, i promise."

Jake looked at Darla with pleading eyes.
he almost looked like a child begging to it's mommy.

"cross your heart?"

Darla nodded, she then crossed her chest with her finger.

"yes."

Jake smiled weakly.

"okay."

Darla smiled.
she then kissed Jake one last time.

as she parted, she whispered into his ear.

"i get you out of this place, i swear it."

Darla finally parted from Jake and stood up.
she frowned and teared up as she turned and walked out of the cell.

as the energy barrier returned, Darla looked back at Jake.
Jake stared at her with an innocent look on his face.

he then waved "goodbye" at her.
Darla smiled weakly, then waved back at him.

"come...let us go."

Darla walked sadly with the other doctors.

Once they were gone, Jake huddled up in the corner.
his body shook as his mind raced, memories of his torment flashing before him.

"NO!..no, no, no, no-heh, heh, heh, heh..."

Jake began to giggle silently.
as he did, his skin slowly changed color.

it went from it's normal caucasian to Lime Green.
his hair also changed from Blonde, to bright Orange

he then opened his eyes, which were now full yellow and green.
Jake began to laugh out loud, insanity overtaking him.

then, he suddenly stopped...and, uttered one word.

"ssssmokin, HA! HA! HA! HAAAAA!"


Author Note: This Oneshot is meant to be a preview at a possible Sam & Max Three-Way crossover idea.

I wanted to make Darla "The Geek: Gugenheek be a main character (because i liked her on the cartoon)
and, have a story that puts Sam & Max in the world of Batman and Gotham City.

The story itself may be based somewhat on Rocksteady's Arkham Asylum and Arkham City.

your opinion will be most appretiated.