A/N: So…. (Yes, I realize you can't start a sentence with a fanboy. Sue me.) I can't believe I'm actually posting this. I haven't posted anything on this sight since I was like…14 or 15. This whole thing started out as a joke. My best friend was all "You should write a Kenlex" and I was like "HAHAHAHAHA no." However, after like…5 minutes a plot bunny developed and I had to write it. I felt like it could be easily based on Taylor Swifts Superstar.
This is honestly one of the most nerve-wracking things for me right now. I'm always writing or imagining but I'm never posting and publishing. In fact as I'm writing this the butterflies in my tummy are growing mutant and ravaging. I legitimately can't believe I'm even doing this. I feel like I'm throwing myself into a shark tank. I'm just going to tear off the Band-Aid and post this thang.
This Chapter is shorter than I would have liked but it's what happened. I have no idea the length of the next postings or the length of when I'll post next. I have the usual excuses: college student, volunteering a lot..etc. etc. If there is any grammatical errors PLEASE INFORM ME. Granted my first reader, coughcough Alicia, will most likely inform me but just in case, let me know. I also don't know how to do visual line breaks, italics and bolding so if you do know; can you please just let me know?
I, myself, don't like long author notes so forgive me. This is the first time I'm posting in 5 or 6 years…Enjoy
Do you know what sucks? Asking your boss for something and then after you get it, you have no idea what to do with it. Even if it's something you've wanted for the longest time...you still have no idea what to do. No matter how much you pleaded, how much you begged. When you got it you had no idea what to with it.
This was exactly how Kendall Knight currently felt. He nearly promised his soul to the devil to let his producer let him write some of the lyrics for the new album. Gustavo, said producer, usually wrote the lyrics if not hire someone else to do it for him. After the whole "Oh Yeah" incident he promised the guys more lyric-writing privileges but the guys had already helped write a song or two on the album and a few separately but that didn't quite sit with Kendall. Yeah, they had a hand in the process but it was only that. A hand. He wanted to be able to put his all into a song. Kendall never thought he'd be the one doing almost anything to write a song, that was James thing. It almost scared Kendall how that changed. NHL pro wannabes didn't write songs. They didn't exactly perform in a singing group, either, so maybe this wasn't such a bad thing.
Taking a deep breath, Kendall closed his eyes and tried to think, really think, of something to put on the paper. He knew that just willing the words to come wasn't going to do anything and that did not help his frustration. This was his moment to show his fans his all. To show them that he wasn't just a singer/dancer, but that he actually had feelings... a soul. Lately he'd been finding himself admiring All Time Low front man, Alex Gaskarth, and his talents. There was no doubt he was in love with the British boy's talents and had a slight obsessive crush. He'd always dreamed (well since he first heard the band on MySpace back in Junior high) of seeing All Time Low live. To see Alex sing his heart out with the words he wrote. Kendall wanted to share his thoughts with the world like the pop-punker did. Too bad his thoughts were empty and nonexistent. Sigh.
"Kenndaaaaalllllllll," he heard a voice ring out in the studio. "Where are youuuuuuuuu?"
Packing all his supplies into his messenger bag, Kendall got ready for his three best friends to bust their way into the room he was in and disturb him. This is why he was beating them to the punch and just giving up for the day.
"Dude, why are you still here?" The blonde boy turned around to find his friends watching him from the doorway.
Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Kendall replied, "Trying to work and be productive. Why? What'd you guys do all day? Tan, wax hockey helmets and okay I can't think of any lackadaisical thing for Logan but I bet whatever it was, nothing got accomplished."
The three stepped back from their abrasive friend and raised their hands in surrender. There was no way they were going to deal with this attitude the whole ride home.
"Dude." James scorned, signaling Kendall to look at Carlos.
"Just wanted to know why you weren't getting ready for the Wilds vs. Kings game back at the crib like the rest of us..." Carlos mumbled looking like someone threw his corndog into the ocean. He wasn't too excited about his friend's behavior either.
Kendall closed his eyes and took a deep breath, releasing as he spoke. "Look...guys...I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed out...I guess. This whole writing a song for the new album is taking a lot out of me: like my patience, for example. I wasn't exactly at a good stopping point when you guys came in just now. Maybe I'm just getting too into it. I'm sorry for snapping, Carlos."
Seeming to accept his friend's apology, Carlos smiled brightly as he linked his and Kendall's arms and began to pull him towards this exit. "Well then we better get out of here so we don't miss the game!"
The game didn't pass uneventfully. There were many a "dumb call by idiot refs who should go back to referee school because they must've failed their final exams" according to James, at least. Also, Carlos kept attempting upside down hockey during the intermission. Logan of course, just sat there with a doctoral textbook in his lap for commercial breaks. Intermission was spent with him trying to prevent Carlos-injuries. Kendall kept the notebook in his line of sight the whole entire time just in case inspiration plowed into him. Which it didn't.
When the final bell rang for the last quarter, Kendall slammed his notebook down onto the coffee table. "FJHSFGYGIO!"
"Whoa, Kendall," Logan picked up an empty cup the notebook knocked over. "What's going on? I've never seen you this worked up over writing something that ISN'T for school. What's up, man?"
By this time Logan, Carlos and James were sitting on the couch with the seemingly distraught boy. They were all so curious. Kendall was getting better at not letting things bother him. What got his knickers in a twist?
Running a hand through his hair, Kendall responded, "It's this whole song writing thing. When does Gustavo ever let just US write a song? On purpose? This is my chance to say 'Hey, I'm good for more than just singing and dancing. I can write, too.' I just wish I knew what to do. What to write. I wonder..."
Kendall cut off but the others wanted to hear what he had to say. "Go on, Kendall. You wonder what?"
Not looking up to answer Logan's question, Kendall blushed and said, "How Alex Gaskarth writes what he does. He's amazing." Realizing they wanted him to continue, he did so. "Everything he sings...all the words he's written...I just...wow, I'm rambling a lot. I'm going to go take a shower and relax for a bit. Maybe something will come to me by then..."
After leaving his friends in the leaving room, Kendall gathered things for a nice long relaxing hot shower. Once in the bathroom, he docked his iPhone into the iHome sitting on a shelf. Clicking on his All Time Low playlist, he started humming along to the song. When the song Weightless came on, he knew Alex was channeling him in that moment, or was it the other way around? Either way, this was this best song for him to get lost in, so he did. He continued in his own little world of All Time Low songs until the water began to run cold, not even noticing the temperature change till shivers snuck up his spine. He couldn't possibly have been in there that long, could he? Getting out of the shower, Kendall checked is iPhone and noticed he's already completely made it through So Wrong, It's Right and half of Nothing Personal. Alex Gaskarth had this effect on him sometimes. All the time, actually.
Looking at himself in the mirror when Therapy began to play was a coincidence he wasn't too comfortable with. This was his go to song when he needed a song for himself when he went through select problems. So, when the song began to play, all the bad memories came back, hitting him below the belt. That was a low blow, Gaskarth, Kendall thought as he closed his eyes tightly. He was trying to decide whether to turn the song or just go through with a quick self-pity party he'd throw for himself later on anyway.
There was furious knocking on the door cutting off his sad session. "DUUUUUUUUDE, those twelve Cokes I had on the way here are flowing like the Nile! LEMME IN!"
Kendall quickly undocked his iPhone and gathered his things before turning the knob. Carlos bust into the bathroom, nearly throwing Kendall out of the doorway. He brushed himself off and glanced towards the couch. He noticed Logan, midstride towards the kitchen, staring in his direction with strange look etched upon his face. The two didn't break eye contact until they heard the toilet flush.
The door cracked open, revealing Carlos. "Dude, if you don't go back in there and wash your hands..."
Heeding the blonde boy's threat, the short boy went back into the bathroom and turned the faucet on. Kendall walked away, reminding himself to clean EVERY door knob in the apartment. Who knew how many times Carlos didn't-
"Kendall?" The smart boy called out a little warily.
Kendall turned himself towards his friend. "Yeah, Loges?"
Logan appeared to be thinking something over in his head. Wringing his hands, Logan began. "I-I was um...Have you uh... I mean do you know..."
Kendall noticed his friend was having a bit of trouble. He grew concerned and made his way over to the brunette. Said brunette started breathing erratically and sweat began to form on his forehead.
Going into his pockets, Logan took a shaky breath. "Don't get mad. I know you wanted your birthday this year to be organized. This is actually weird because you like impulsive things sometimes. Usually I'm the one who likes things in order. Maybe I'm rubbing off on-"
"Whoa there, Loges. Deep breaths and remember to use stopping points," Kendall chuckled at his rambling friend. "What about my birthday? It's not for a few more months. Why are we bringing it up now?"
Looking down, Kendall noticed his friend was an envelope with a rectangular purple paper attached to the front with the words Star Tickets Plus on it. He reached for the item in Logan's hands.
"These are All Time Low tickets," Logan blushed. "Happy early birthday."
