So this randomness popped into my head while I was supposed to be doing my Psych homework, but you know how those rabid little plot bunnies are: they latch on and never let go. I had thought about this while on my way to work one day, and then the thought left. Well, it came back with a vengeance and since it seems I'm not getting any homework done in the near future, I figured I'd write it down and share it with you guys. This is my first "Bones" story, but I've been writing in other areas for several years now. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Bones or anything related to the show but if I did… oh, the fun BB would have. Also, I don't own the song "Congratulations". That one belongs to Blue October. The only part of this thing that I own is the ridiculously annoying little plot bunny. This takes place sometime after the final episode…
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The banquet hall was decked out in flowers, but not the kind you'd expect to see at a wedding, especially one in the middle of DC. There were no roses, no daisies, no carnations. Instead it was adorned with orchids and dried nutmeg flowers woven into leafy green vines with the entire place being illuminated by hundreds of small candles. Booth could only guess that these came from her experiences in Maluku. As he surveyed the room, he decided it looked more like a jungle than a place where a wedding had taken place. His Catholic upbringing had engrained a sense of tradition in him, and he inwardly scoffed at the thought of his Bones in a stuffy white wedding dress. Adjusting the belt on his uniform, he surveyed the room for a familiar face and finally spotted Bones, who was seated at one of the far tables with people he didn't recognize and wearing what appeared to be some sort of traditional dress. Taking a deep breath, Booth took a step forward and stopped. His Bones. Not any longer. Quickly arriving at the conclusion that it was a really bad idea to come here in the first place, Booth started to turn and leave but not before Brennan spotted him from across the room.
"Booth!" With his back to her, she couldn't see him squeeze his eyes shut and grimace, contemplating pretending not to hear her and just walking out the door. He knew he would regret it for the rest of his life if he left and didn't tell her what he came to say. He had already let her walk away from him once before, and he wasn't going to let her do it again. Turning around, he saw her waiving for him to come over and realized the woman he had fallen madly in love with over the years was now married to someone else, and forced a smile. She looked absolutely radiant and it made his chest ache to think he wasn't the one who got to stand next to her at the altar. The smile on her face communicated an invisible slap in the face to him: he was too late. There was would have been no changing her mind; this is what she had set out to do and she had done it.
"You look very nice," Bones said as she stood up in front of him, her hands folded in front of her like an inspecting officer. She always enjoyed the sight of a man in uniform, and Seeley Booth in his Class A's was about as fine a specimen as she could imagine. Booth wasn't sure whether to relax or stand at attention with the way she was scrutinizing him. "It's good to see you. I'm really glad you decided to come, although you missed an amazing ceremony. We had some of the people from the village where we stayed fly in and present us with traditional gifts. I can show them to you if you like. Oh and there was…"
"Bones," Booth interrupted, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck and noticing how sweaty his palms had gotten since she approached. He wondered if there would ever be a day when his heart and body wouldn't react to her the way it did, and he knew today was certainly not that day. Glancing down at his watch, he looked back up and surveyed the room. There were only a handful of people that were left, most of which were the squint squad. Even Sweets was there, dressed in what looked like an outfit fit for a Jimmy Buffet concert. The sight struck Booth as quite humorous, and he looked back to Brennan. The quizzical look on her face brought him back to earth and squelched any possible absurdity of the situation.
"Are you okay?" The sound of her voice held true concern, and Booth started to open his mouth and just blurt out his feelings but instead he changed his mind.
"Yeah, I'm ok. Is that seat taken?" he asked, motioning towards the empty chair next to where Bones had been sitting. She shook her head and they sat down beside each other, an uncomfortable silence building up in the small space between them. Booth held his cap in his hands, buffing invisible fingerprints off the patent-leather of the brim. He looked back up to Bones, who was still staring at him intently. "Congratulations. Would you like to take a walk with me?" Booth blurted. He knew he needed to tell her how he felt, but he certainly didn't want to do it in front of everyone else.
Bones smiled and nodded and rose from her seat. She walked across the room, her feet seemingly floating above the floor as her dress billowed around her form. Booth followed a few feet behind her, his mind racing as he tried to rehearse what he was going to say. As they approached the door, Hodgins and Angela entered, both looking a little disheveled. Booth could only guess that they had snuck off somewhere for a quick tryst, and rolled his eyes. Angela let out a squeal of delight that was nearly matched by Brennan and once again Booth cringed. How could he spill his guts to her when it was obvious she was so happy? As the girls separated from their hug, Angela caught a glimpse of Booth and her smile faded to a look of sympathy.
"Hi sweetie," she said, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. Booth barely hugged her back, expecting the lecture about how he had missed his chance and he shouldn't have let her go in the first place to begin any second. Instead, Angela released him and grabbed Hodgins's hand and led him back into the banquet hall, both in search of something cool to drink after their secret romp.
Standing outside the hall in the bright sunshine Booth stared at Bones, who in turn waited patiently for him to speak. Silently she had been waiting for this moment. She thought back to when she had delivered the news to the team that she was getting married. Cheers and squeals on the other end of the line had nearly pierced her eardrum, but what she noticed missing was the sound of her former partner. She couldn't see him, but her mind's eye saw him leaning against the autopsy table, his expression matching one of those that would be more suitable for someone lying on that table. Part of her knew why he was here, and another part of her wished that wasn't the reason why. Bracing herself for the inevitable, she folded her arms across her chest as he began to speak.
"My mind… it kinda goes fast but I'll try to slow it down for you. I think I'd love to take a drive, I want to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years… my heart."
Brennan looked into his eyes and saw a flash of her former partner, but she could tell that more time in a combat zone hadn't been easy on him. Trying to hide the pride she was feeling from being able to recognize real human emotions, something he had taught her to do, she saw the pain and anguish dance across his features. He had seemed to age exponentially in the year since they had been apart, although his face still held the boyish good looks that had turned so many female heads in the past. Brennan could tell that he was struggling with what he wanted to say, so she simply nodded and started towards his truck. The realization and enormity of the situation hit Bones like a ton a bricks, and she turned back to Booth.
"You left me." She said bluntly. Booth chuckled. She was still the same old Bones.
"I came to see the light in my best friend. You seemed as happy as you'd ever been. My chance of being open was broken, and now you're Mrs. Him." Booth said, his voice cracking slightly at the mention of Bones' new husband. He always hoped one day he would see her get married, but only in his worst nightmares did she marry someone else. "My words, they don't come out right but I'll try to say I'm happy for you. I think I'm going to take that drive; I want to give you something I've wanted to give to you for years… my heart." He turned and walked around to the driver's side of the truck, thinking Bones would follow.
"My heart… my pain won't cover up… you left me," Bones said again, knowing she made little sense and became suddenly aware of the pain now creeping into her own voice. The calm, rational scientist in her kept repeating that she had done the right thing by marrying Edward, but there was still another little voice inside her that kept saying it was all wrong. Yes, he had left her but hadn't she left him too? All through the years, there was always one constant in her life and that was Booth. Now, as he stood across from her, getting ready to leave again she realized that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.
"I can't change this, I can't take this back," Bones whispered as Booth came back around to stand in front of her. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head up so he could see her eyes. The tears flowed freely now, not only from her but from him as well. It was too late. Bones had committed herself to someone else, and Booth could feel himself slowly dying inside.
"Now I can't change your mind," Booth replied softly, his eyes watering. Any other moment in his life he would blame it on the sun being too bright, or his allergies bothering him, or any other number of excuses. Now he knew there was no denying it; his heart was breaking. Bones now belonged to someone else and he was foolish enough to let her go. If only he had told her sooner, or if he had said no to the army, or if he had stopped her at the airport then it would be him who would go home with her tonight and make love to her and hold her the rest of his life. He had handed that privilege over to another man when he had walked away from her. He would spend the rest of his life mentally kicking himself for being such an idiot. Impulsively, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her, inhaling her scent and trying to memorize the feel of her against his body and hoping that would be enough to last him the rest of his life but he knew it would never be enough for him.
"I can never take this back," Bones stated plainly as she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry, Booth." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek and turned on her heel and walked away.
"I can never change your mind," Booth mumbled to himself as he watched Brennan walk back to the door of the banquet hall where she stopped for a moment and turned to look back at him. He felt like someone was ripping his heart out as his insides screamed for her to run back to him, but he knew she wouldn't. Not Bones. Once she was committed there was no turning back. She offered a brief smile before disappearing back inside, leaving Booth all alone in the silence of what should have been his and Bones' day. He could feel his knees begin to give out, and he placed both hands on the hood of the truck to support himself. His eyes now full of tears, he looked skyward for his answers. Many times in the past he took solace in speaking to the heavens, and he hoped like hell this time he would get at least a little comfort. The tears flowed freely down his cheeks now, glistening in the sunlight. Of all the torture he had endured at the hands of criminals and enemy soldiers, this was by far the worst. He knew this would be a pain that would always be with him, for the rest of his life, no matter where he went. Wiping his cheeks and throwing down his service cap, he cast his eyes skyward once again.
"Just make it go away… make it go away… please," he begged.
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little ficlet. If you did, feel free to click the review button and let me know. It may encourage me to write more! =^D Or... if it sucked... find a new hobby! LOL
