Diisclaimer: Disclaimed to J.K. Rowling And Meg Cabot.
This isn't funny, or witty, or anything. I've just been reading way to many Mediator/Harry Potter Crossovers. To those who write mediator/Harry Potter crossovers, I'm sure your stories are great so don't be offended. I'm not mocking you. And I'm not mocking Harry potter or the mediator either. I LOVE THOSE BOOKS. And I am not mocking emo's either.
I just felt like doing a Mediator/Harry Potter crossover, so I did. Beware. It has a lot of gramma mistakes because I am waaaaaaaaaaaay to lazy to edit and check it. This is the product of me and the Flu and a computer.
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One day, Suze had found out she was the sister of a random guy called Harry Potter.
She also found out she was a witch, and started attending a witchcraft and wizardry school called Hogwarts. She was put in the house Gryffindor, because of her bravery and and corage. She was disapointed though, all the hotties were in Hufflepuff.
One day Suze had been happily making out with Albus Dumbledore in a broom closet when she and the old man were disturbed by a loud crash coming from outside the closet.
Suze burst out of the wardrobe.
"WHO DARES TO DISTURB ME AND MY ALBUS?"
She glanced down on the floor, and her question was answered, because Cee Cee Webb and Draco Malfoy were rolling around on the floor in a passionate kiss.
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… Because … Like Cee Cee, Draco Malfoy was also an Albino.
The White hair, the pale skin… It all added up. He just didn't realize. No-one did. How Weird.
When he and Cee Cee, the snowy Californian, first laid eyes upon each other it was love at first sight. Or lust. Or insanity. Whatever.
ANYWAY, So there Suze was, watching in awe as the two rolled around on the floor, completely oblivious to her evil glorious glaring.
Suze was very angry. Cee Cee was not supposed to make out with Draco. She didn't know why, but she was thinking in italics, so it must have been bad.
So Suze, in a moment of rage, swallowed Cee Cee whole.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Draco screamed, "MY DARLING … WHATEVER HER NAME WAS, MY ONE TRUE LOVE, I'M GOING TO DIE WITHOUT YOU!"
He curled up into a small ball, and started to sing.
"All by myseeeeeeeeeeeelf.. don't wanna live, ALL BY MYSEEEEEEEEEEELF, ANYMORE!"
Suze ran away while she still could, in search of the toilet, because in case you've forgotten she'd just eaten a person and was really, really needed to do a nice big-
"SHIT!"
Suze swivelled around to see three young Hogwarts students standing behind her, one of whom was her brother, Harry Potter.
Harry and his friends (She assumed they were his friends), the bushy haired girl and the red haired emo-looking boy, all glared at her.
Harry pointed a finger at her in rage.
"You!"
His fingered quivered in the air.
" .. Will … Die …."
Suze was shocked.
"But Harry, my darling brother, why do you want to kill me?"
Harry laughed an evil laugh, "Because then I can steal your evil toenails for myself .HAHAHAHAHA!"
Harry nodded.
The bushy haired girl nodded.
The Emo nodded.
Paul nodded.
WAIT .. WHAT WAS PAUL DOING HERE?
"Paul!" Suze squealed, before jumping into his arms.
"My darling Paul-ie poo! Have you come to save me from this ultimate peril?"
Paul shuddered, and shoved her off.
"No, I was looking for the toilet when I found this place, Wait, where's De Silva? And why does your breath smell like old men and Pee pee socks?"
"Jesse is at band camp."
Paul ignored her, for his eyes had landed upon Harry.
"Who is that handsome young man?"
Suze frowned.
"That's just mah Bro' Harry. He wants to kill me and steal my toenails."
Paul scratched his chin and nodded wisely.
"Oh, don't worry, Jack was always jealous of my toenails. And the whole killing thing is just a sibling thing. You know, me and Jack go through the same thing. Hmm, .I can see the resemblance .. perfect brow's, smooth skin, those stunning green eyes…."
Harry grinned seductively.
Paul grinned back.
Suze wondered if Paul was actually Bi.
Paul wondered that as well.
Until he remembered that he was severely homophobic, and preceded to vomit all over Harry.
Suze laughed nervousely.
The Emo boy and the bushy haired girl thought 'Screw This!" and ran off to play dodge ball.
"Yeah… So …. I'll take you the toilets, I was just on my way there myself!"
Harry started drooling at Paul and his hotness until he drowned in his own saliva.
Suze shrieked for a while, until her and Paul forgot all about those yucky Hooligans and went off, hand in hand, to find the toilets.
Little did they know, that the Hogwarts toilets were no ordinary toilets. They were evil, siren toilets.
When they reached their destination and each sat on a lavatory (In separate cubicles, of course), Suze's toilet bit her on the butt.
While Paul's started singing. The toilet's song was so pretty, Paul fell in love and made-out with it. Suze was very angry that Paul had been so weak to let himself be seduced by a toilet, so she left him behind and went to find a bandaid for her poor, injured butt while Paul fraternized with the evil toilet.
After successfully plastering a bandaid on her butt, Suze grabbed her wand and wandered of to the Gyrffindor common room.
Feeling depressed because she missed Jesse and his gentlemen-ly ways, she made out with every guy in the room. Even though they were mostly first years.
Then she turned them into toads with her uber cool magical powers.
She found Malfoy, who was still curled up in a ball, screaming and singing for his star crossed lover, and joined him in his plight.
In fact, everyone was depressed, except for Adam, who married Sister Ernestine, Paul, who was still making out with an evil toilet, Dumbledore, who was dating Doctor Slaski, and Jesse, who was having fun at Band Camp.
THE END
