That little dork was entirely too attractive for his own good.

Dave never quite knew why he had become so attracted to John, but there was no doubt in his mind that he would have done near anything to get in the other boy's pants. It was far from a new thing; Dave had first realized he was attracted to Glasses over there when he had sent those entirely ironic-yet-not shades to him in the mail. Damn thoughtful, adorable little dork.

And now here it was, several years after they met, after they went through that ordeal that was Sburb, after the universe had been recreated and their lives had gone on...and he still knew that abso-fucking-lutely nothing was going to happen between them.

John was Not A Homosexual, after all. He made that clear to the cranky asshole that was his rival for John's affections, though Dave had honestly believed it far before he first uttered the words. He was sure the kid was straight when they were twelve, and he was still certain of it now.

It really shouldn't have been so bad. It had been years, for god's sake. He was Dave Strider, he could be crawling with bitches if he wanted. No one in their right mind didn't want a piece of that Strider ass. Well, except John.

If he really wanted, he supposed, he could possibly even get John to...

No, that was idiotic. John would be all uncomfortable and fidgety and probably would have pushed him away the moment Dave tried to kiss him. Without putting on some sort of slutty outfit full of tits and ass and proclaiming "John, I'm a girl, ravish me you manly hunk," there probably was no way to get the guy to go for it.

Damn, this was the worst irony possible. The guy with tits wants a straight guy as his gay boyfriend. Good job, Strider. Good job.

Dave sighed and opened a new Pesterchum window on his computer, leaning his head in one hand and typing with the other.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 20:24 -

TG: hey jade

TG: you busy

TG: guess you must be

GG: sorry dave!

GG: i was chatting with your sister again

TG: sounds like fun

GG: not really :(

TG: good

TG: sounds like its time for the john egbert angst club