Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Spoofed!
Harry: I hate the Dursley's
Dursleys: We hate you.
Mailman: Here's a letter with alot of stamps. Darn those wizards.
Harry: I'm going to watch people fly.
Dursleys: Oh.
Ron: I'm trapped in the fire place.
Harry: Stupid boy.
Aurthur: I'll blow up half the house to get us out.
House: *explodes*
Dudley: My tongue is abnormaly large.
Fred: You're fat. We tricked you!
Vernon: Grr. Arg.
Aurthur: You look like a rhinocerous. We'll be leaving now.
Weasleys and Harry: *shoop!*
Ron: I'm embarassed by my small house.
Harry: So am I. Take all my money.
Ron: No.
Harry: Ok.
Hermione: Hi.
Everyone: Hi, Hermione!
Later...
Ron: This clivy is rockin' yo! Rockin' old school!
Harry: What?
Ron: Ahem. I like quidditch.
Leprauchauns Hee hee! We're giving you fake gold!
Ron: Damn.
Harry: Look. It's the sign of the most evil wozard of all time.
Ron: Shiny...
Random guy: Harry Potter did it!
Harry: Nuh-uh.
Random guy: Oh, ok. Then itwas the house elf!
Everyone: *gasp*
Crouch: No!
Random guy: Yes!
Crouch: Damn.
Hermione: I'm going to bed.
At the Hog...
Dumbledore: We're hosting a nifty tournament.
School: Yay.
Goblet of Fire: Harry Potter
Everyone: *gasp*
Krum: I'm a hunchback with webbed feet. But everyone lives me.
Ron: I don't believe you didn't put your name in the Goblet of Fire.
Harry: I didn't.
Ron: Yes, you did.
Harry: Fine. I'm going to be mad at you for no good reason until the First task when we we will be, again, chummy good chums!
Ron: Ok
First Task...
Harry: I got through the first task. Go me.
Ron: Good. Now we have to find dates for the ball.
Harry: We should be going together but for the sake of the part of the world that hates Harr/Ron slash and gay people in general, we will pretend to be normal hederosexual people.
At the ball...
Harry: I can't dance.
Ron: Those sisters are wierd.
Harry: Let's ignore our dates and go spy on Hagrid!
Ron: Ok.
Hagrid: I'm half giant.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: So am I.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: Damn. I mean I'm - uh - big boned...
Everyone: *whew*
Hagrid: No you're not.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: Get away from me.
Beetle: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeehee hee hee!
Ron: I s that beetle laughing insanely?
Harry: Yes.
Ron: Oh.
Later...
Harry: That egg is screaming at me.
Cedric: Take a bath.
Harry: Ok, but I still hate you for stealing Cho, you bastard.
Cedric: Ok.
Moaning Myrtle: Hi
Harry: My privates!
Myrtle: Ho! The mermen are going to steal Ron!
Harry: Damn.
Dobby: Gillyweed! Gillyweed!
Harry: *turns into a fish*
Mermen: Muahahaha.
Harry: Bubble. Bubble bubble.
Mermen: Eh?
Harry: I'm going to be heroic and save all the captives.
Mermen: No.
Harry: Yes.
Mermen: Ok.
Harry: *gets to the surface*
Ron: Stupid boy.
Harry: Bite me.
Ron: Gaaaaaaah!
Harry: Get away from me.
Fleur: You saved my sister! I am forever in your debt!
Snape: You sneak into my office. You're cruisin' for a bruisin', boy...
Harry: You're greasy.
Ron: Buuuuuuuuurn!
Snape: Damn!
Rita Skeeter: I'm going to write evil things about all of you!
Hermione: I'm a scarlet woman!
Divinitation...
Harry: *dream* Aaauugggghhhhh!! My scaaaaaaar! It buuuuuuuuurns!
Dumbledore's office....
Harry: Shiny... a bowl of thoughts...
Dumbledore: Get awaaaaaay!
Harry: Karkaroff's a Death Eater and Mr. Crouch is a bad man.
Dumbledore: Yes.
Later...
Crouch: I'm insane with anger! Actually I'm just insane.
Harry: Oh.
Cedric: Ooh. Big hedges.
Krum: *grunt*
Harry: Cool.
Fleur: You saved my sister! I am forever in your debt!
Obstructions: Ha! We are trying to stop you!
Harry: Damn.
Krum: I'm under the Imperius Curse!
Cedric: Diiiiiie!
Krum: *knocked out*
Sphinx: If you get the answer right, you can pass.
Harry: Spider.
Sphinx: Damn.
Harry: The world is upside-down! Whee!
World: Turns right side up.
Harry: Darn, my leg seems to be broken.
Boggart: Yep.
Cedric: No! The cup is miiiiiiiine!
Harry: Ok.
Cedric: Noooooo! I can't take it!!
Harry: We'll take it together.
Cedric: Ah, good old teamwork.
Cup: *is grabbed*
Cedric: *dies*
Harry: Damn.
Voldemort: You conquered me! Now I shall conquer you! Muahahaha! *cough cough* Ha!
Harry: No.
Voldemort: Yes.
Harry: Damn.
Voldemort: Now we shall duel! To the death! Gaha! Gaha! Gaaaaaaaaaaah!
Harry: You're evil. And creepy.
Ron: Buuuuuuuuurn!
Voldemort: Damn. Where'd you come from?
Ron: Your ass! Ahahahahahahaha!
Voldemort: Idiot boy. Anyways, back to the killing.
Death Eaters: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Wands: *repel*
Glowing ball thing: *moves*
Harry: I'm weeeeeeeeeeeeakening...
Cedric's ghost: Beee stroooooooong!
Harry: What the...?
Parent ghosts: Run! Run! Ruuuuuuuuuuun!
Harry: *runs* Noooooooooo! Cedriiiiiiiiiiiiiic!
Cedric: *says nothing because he is dead.*
Cup: *is grabbed*
School: *gasp*
Dumbledore: Moody is actually Crouch's son, and that's who put your name in the Goblet o' Fire.
Everyone: Aha!
Dementor: Gimme your soul.
Barty Crouch: Ok.
Feast...
Dumbledore: Gryffindor wins! Be sad for Cedric.
Everyone: *is sad*
Food: *appears*
Everyone: *eats*
Next day...
Harry: I hate the Dursleys
Ron: Come stay at my embarresingly small house.
Harry: Ok.
Train: *leaves*
Story: *ends*
Harry: I hate the Dursley's
Dursleys: We hate you.
Mailman: Here's a letter with alot of stamps. Darn those wizards.
Harry: I'm going to watch people fly.
Dursleys: Oh.
Ron: I'm trapped in the fire place.
Harry: Stupid boy.
Aurthur: I'll blow up half the house to get us out.
House: *explodes*
Dudley: My tongue is abnormaly large.
Fred: You're fat. We tricked you!
Vernon: Grr. Arg.
Aurthur: You look like a rhinocerous. We'll be leaving now.
Weasleys and Harry: *shoop!*
Ron: I'm embarassed by my small house.
Harry: So am I. Take all my money.
Ron: No.
Harry: Ok.
Hermione: Hi.
Everyone: Hi, Hermione!
Later...
Ron: This clivy is rockin' yo! Rockin' old school!
Harry: What?
Ron: Ahem. I like quidditch.
Leprauchauns Hee hee! We're giving you fake gold!
Ron: Damn.
Harry: Look. It's the sign of the most evil wozard of all time.
Ron: Shiny...
Random guy: Harry Potter did it!
Harry: Nuh-uh.
Random guy: Oh, ok. Then itwas the house elf!
Everyone: *gasp*
Crouch: No!
Random guy: Yes!
Crouch: Damn.
Hermione: I'm going to bed.
At the Hog...
Dumbledore: We're hosting a nifty tournament.
School: Yay.
Goblet of Fire: Harry Potter
Everyone: *gasp*
Krum: I'm a hunchback with webbed feet. But everyone lives me.
Ron: I don't believe you didn't put your name in the Goblet of Fire.
Harry: I didn't.
Ron: Yes, you did.
Harry: Fine. I'm going to be mad at you for no good reason until the First task when we we will be, again, chummy good chums!
Ron: Ok
First Task...
Harry: I got through the first task. Go me.
Ron: Good. Now we have to find dates for the ball.
Harry: We should be going together but for the sake of the part of the world that hates Harr/Ron slash and gay people in general, we will pretend to be normal hederosexual people.
At the ball...
Harry: I can't dance.
Ron: Those sisters are wierd.
Harry: Let's ignore our dates and go spy on Hagrid!
Ron: Ok.
Hagrid: I'm half giant.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: So am I.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: Damn. I mean I'm - uh - big boned...
Everyone: *whew*
Hagrid: No you're not.
Everyone: *gasp*
Mme Maxime: Get away from me.
Beetle: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeehee hee hee!
Ron: I s that beetle laughing insanely?
Harry: Yes.
Ron: Oh.
Later...
Harry: That egg is screaming at me.
Cedric: Take a bath.
Harry: Ok, but I still hate you for stealing Cho, you bastard.
Cedric: Ok.
Moaning Myrtle: Hi
Harry: My privates!
Myrtle: Ho! The mermen are going to steal Ron!
Harry: Damn.
Dobby: Gillyweed! Gillyweed!
Harry: *turns into a fish*
Mermen: Muahahaha.
Harry: Bubble. Bubble bubble.
Mermen: Eh?
Harry: I'm going to be heroic and save all the captives.
Mermen: No.
Harry: Yes.
Mermen: Ok.
Harry: *gets to the surface*
Ron: Stupid boy.
Harry: Bite me.
Ron: Gaaaaaaah!
Harry: Get away from me.
Fleur: You saved my sister! I am forever in your debt!
Snape: You sneak into my office. You're cruisin' for a bruisin', boy...
Harry: You're greasy.
Ron: Buuuuuuuuurn!
Snape: Damn!
Rita Skeeter: I'm going to write evil things about all of you!
Hermione: I'm a scarlet woman!
Divinitation...
Harry: *dream* Aaauugggghhhhh!! My scaaaaaaar! It buuuuuuuuurns!
Dumbledore's office....
Harry: Shiny... a bowl of thoughts...
Dumbledore: Get awaaaaaay!
Harry: Karkaroff's a Death Eater and Mr. Crouch is a bad man.
Dumbledore: Yes.
Later...
Crouch: I'm insane with anger! Actually I'm just insane.
Harry: Oh.
Cedric: Ooh. Big hedges.
Krum: *grunt*
Harry: Cool.
Fleur: You saved my sister! I am forever in your debt!
Obstructions: Ha! We are trying to stop you!
Harry: Damn.
Krum: I'm under the Imperius Curse!
Cedric: Diiiiiie!
Krum: *knocked out*
Sphinx: If you get the answer right, you can pass.
Harry: Spider.
Sphinx: Damn.
Harry: The world is upside-down! Whee!
World: Turns right side up.
Harry: Darn, my leg seems to be broken.
Boggart: Yep.
Cedric: No! The cup is miiiiiiiine!
Harry: Ok.
Cedric: Noooooo! I can't take it!!
Harry: We'll take it together.
Cedric: Ah, good old teamwork.
Cup: *is grabbed*
Cedric: *dies*
Harry: Damn.
Voldemort: You conquered me! Now I shall conquer you! Muahahaha! *cough cough* Ha!
Harry: No.
Voldemort: Yes.
Harry: Damn.
Voldemort: Now we shall duel! To the death! Gaha! Gaha! Gaaaaaaaaaaah!
Harry: You're evil. And creepy.
Ron: Buuuuuuuuurn!
Voldemort: Damn. Where'd you come from?
Ron: Your ass! Ahahahahahahaha!
Voldemort: Idiot boy. Anyways, back to the killing.
Death Eaters: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Wands: *repel*
Glowing ball thing: *moves*
Harry: I'm weeeeeeeeeeeeakening...
Cedric's ghost: Beee stroooooooong!
Harry: What the...?
Parent ghosts: Run! Run! Ruuuuuuuuuuun!
Harry: *runs* Noooooooooo! Cedriiiiiiiiiiiiiic!
Cedric: *says nothing because he is dead.*
Cup: *is grabbed*
School: *gasp*
Dumbledore: Moody is actually Crouch's son, and that's who put your name in the Goblet o' Fire.
Everyone: Aha!
Dementor: Gimme your soul.
Barty Crouch: Ok.
Feast...
Dumbledore: Gryffindor wins! Be sad for Cedric.
Everyone: *is sad*
Food: *appears*
Everyone: *eats*
Next day...
Harry: I hate the Dursleys
Ron: Come stay at my embarresingly small house.
Harry: Ok.
Train: *leaves*
Story: *ends*
