Absent Minded
She trembled under the downpour of water pounding her light leather jacket. The day blanketed lower Manhattan in a pattern of gloom and gray, making the 16th precinct that much more solemn looking. The women hurried through the double door entrance, passing by the mobs of cops and perps to get to the nearest pairs of elevators. She sighed a sigh as heavy as the water filled clouds looming outside, and pressed the metal elevator button toward the fifth floor. She was alone, thankfully, and she took the few minutes of silence to lean against the back wall; taking count of her thoughts, having only her roaring heartbeat as company.
The silence slipped away as the elevator doors opened, the pungent smell of burning coffee and whirling of vending machines greeting her immediately.
Dimmed flickering bulbs illuminate the path towards the bullpen entrance, and she follows them, entranced by the stillness captivating her mind. She wanted to revel in it.
Absentmindedly, she headed to straight to her desk. After more than a decade of late nights in the cribs and hours of case reviews, she knew every square inch of this place, recognized each and every detail. She could maneuver herself around the building blindfolded if necessary.
She was so lost in her thoughts, that she didn't hear the sweet whisper as it called out her name initially.
" Liv.." The voice prodded, now raising a couple octaves to a lazy mumble.
She looked up slowly, because she had to. " Hmm," she responded, the questioning emphasis playing behind the noise.
" You ok? You seem a little… absent today. Everything alright?"
She didn't mean to, but she rolled her eyes, dismissing his question as professional banter, sympathetic small talk.
" Fine El," she whispered, a sprinkle of exasperation in her voice.
He seemed to have caught on to her annoyance, as his eyes drooped to the face of his desk, searching for something to concentrate his gaze on; something to dismiss the hurt bubbling in his stomach. He knew not to prod. Their friendship was such a powerful thing, no prodding or leading necessary. Mute communication would bring him the answer to his question eventually. Until then, he'd continue to question, to worry in silence, in hopes that the gods his partner didn't believe her, would lead her to him. Into his arms. Someday, sometime. Hopefully soon.
The day dragged on, gorged on Elliot's growing anxiety. They managed to defeat the piles of week old DD5's claiming their desks, collect a handful of DNA results needed for impending cases, and round up a couple of suspects for line-ups, all in their eighteen hour shift. Exhaustion was imminent for everyone, as sleep had become a distant memory. Through the half hour at the media board, and a good three hours at the M.E's office, Olivia hadn't said a word. She kept her hands interlocked tightly, resting on the small gap between her thighs. Simple hand gestures marked the span of communication between them.
Not one word.
He could feel the apprehension piercing his ribcage as he watched her sway towards the door to her building when he dropped her off.
There was a minute where he considered dropping the subject from his mind all together, but mentally slapped himself for even thinking about it.
This was Olivia for God's sake.
When he was sure he had made it all the way upstairs, he took out his cellphone and dialed, hoping she was still awake.
" El!" The voice chirped, ending the 30 second agony of four rings.
" Uh hey Kath," he responded blankly.
" You coming home?" Her tone was etched with hurt.
" No, actually. Captain asked us to cover another shift. Huge case on our hands, you know?" The lie flowed freely, without any guilt attached to it.
" Oh. Well okay. We'll see you tomorrow then. Love you."
" Yeah. Bye," he said, coldly. He hung up before she could protest or question anything any further.
He took one last look at the fourth story window; sighing as he assembled a make-shift bed in the backseat of the squad car. He couldn't go home and leave her here, alone.
However long he needed to stay here, he would.
His thoughts were laced with a flurry of emotions, as he was being serenaded to sleep by the buzzing noises of Manhattan.
A familiar beeping noise woke him out of his trance, and he scrambled for his phone.
Who the fuck…
His heart skipped a few beats and his eyes grew wide as he opened the text message.
El. I need you. Let's talk. – Liv
As he made his way through the entrance and up the flight of stairs, he found his breathing unequal, his legs succumbing to a jello- like substance; quivering beneath him.
Before knocking on the door, he made a silent promise to himself.
Don't leave here without telling her. You have to tell her.
