my first written GG story that i'm actully going to post
takes place right after Desperately Seaking Serena
just a little insight to what may have happened after she left Chuck's the night she recieved the note
the song is Whatever it takes by lifehouse
read and review please?
Fate had a funny way of building you up for the time of your life then dropping you at a million miles an hour off of the highest roof possible. At the current time Fate wasn't a friend of hers. It was threatening to take everything she held so dear over the past few months away without any problem. Inadequate and unworthy of every emotion that surged and gushed around her, that was her exact feeling at the moment.
The fearless angel who was greatly admired for her courageous and fearless rendezvous was crumbling behind her perfect exterior. She didn't need her past escaping, no one would understand what in the past had happened, she didn't understand why she'd done the things she'd done. And if she didn't understand them how could she ever possibly ask him to understand them? She was naive and careless, two of the things she hadn't much been in months. Of course like any normal person she had her slip ups, such as letting herself trespass in areas she wasn't supposed to be.
Other then her rifts she'd been a picture perfect model of reformed. Lately her green eyes had shown pure bliss rather then the haunting scene that had once peaked its self a claim to fame inside of the dusty emerald eyes. She'd changed, she'd swear it up and down to anyone that begged to differ, but it didn't matter what anyone else thought, long as she was still his all. He was the only thing that meant more then the world to her, and she would do anything to protect him from the old her.
The reckless, hopeless, shell of a person she'd once been was not who she was anymore and it was all due to him that she'd changed. It was all thanks to him that she wanted to stay the new her.
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
The new Bass/ Van der Woodsen home was suffocating, and if she spent anymore time at her 'darling' step brother's hotel suit god only knew what Gossip Girl would report next. The demon storyteller would have enough endeavors to peruse soon enough, Serena didn't want to fuel any more. There was only one place Serena Celia Van der Woodsen wanted to be at that exact moment. It was the only place she felt like home, and it was exactly where she was headed. It was night, late at night, the time most people would have been scared to death to walk the sullen and dark streets of Manhattan alone, Blair would have had a heart attack if she had any idea. Serena wasn't afraid she didn't mind the half daunting streets.
She didn't want a car, or protection around her. Part of the eloquent, misunderstood, and partially broken girl wanted to be jumped and killed. Just to end the misery that was foreboding, so that she wouldn't see his heart break right in front of her eyes. His gentle, kind, loving heart that she still couldn't figure out how she'd won without the slightest bit of trying, she didn't deserve him.
Yet she needed him, every inch of him was like her newest drug and she wasn't sure how her body would ever make it threw the withdrawal of not having him. Things in her past were hard enough to leave behind, but he would by far be the worst part of that. If, er, when she lost him she knew she'd fall apart into pieces. She wasn't sure if the pieces would ever be able to be put back together. After all when she thought of forever his picture had been the first thing to appear in her mind.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes.
The blue light on her cell phone read 1:53 am, a time she was sure all members of the Humphrey loft were well tucked into there own individual dream lands. As she ran her hand on the hard brick her chewed up black polished nails snagged on the plaster creating more jagged lines in her nails. Blair would have freaked on her, would have if it had been first and for most the most important thing on their minds.
S and B had a disaster on their hands, B only due to the fact that she knew what Georgina was capable of, she knew that Georgina would stop at no cost to take everything away from Serena no matter what the effect on the angelic blonde it had. Blair would have been the first one to tell her that Dan would be the first victim. It was plainly obvious that Blair wasn't one that could be put under Georgie's spell.
She was much more well rounded then Serena when it came to things like that. Temptation was far less of a bother to Blair. Serena sat down on the first step of the fire escape and managed to take off her heeled boots leaving them on the tarnished cement. She couldn't have given less of a damn what happened to them, she had her mind set on one thing and one thing only. Like her own personal drug she craved it.
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
Just as she knew it would be Dan's window was slightly a jar as she pushed the glass open more making as little noise as she could get away with. Lucky for her the creaking hadn't even slightly disturbed the peacefully sleeping figure on the bed in the middle of the small bed room. By the light of the fluorescently glowing street lamp feet below was just enough for her to make out his football sheets.
For the first time that night since the hot chocolate a soft smile played over her lips. Dan always brought a smile to her face, he was the one that'd stolen her heart so many months prior. He looked so peaceful, untouched, and so innocent. He didn't deserve to be put threw all of the misery that came with her and she couldn't understand why he insisted on doting upon every piece of her. She was far to un worthy of him. Letting her coat drop to the floor with an easy swish she reached up her long fingers to her cheek brushing away the stray tears that had escaped from her perplexed eyes.
She couldn't cry, it wasn't the time for it. Waking him up with tears was not something she was ready for. As she walked around his bed she landed herself right in front of Cedric, never had she thought she'd know the face of a silly cabbage patch doll as well as she knew Cedric's face.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
He was asleep on his side, legs bet at the knee, right hand under his head and left arm straight out. The way he slept the best though he'd claimed he only slept best when she was in his arms. She lingered for a few moments watching his chest as his lungs gently filled with air and then expelled it. Serena stood entranced by the sleeping silhouette of the one she loved.
As she reached out her hand warily her fingers brushed gracefully against his collar bone and up a soft line to his lips. She could feel the stubble on his face, and see his deep brown eyes so peacefully closed. if she were to bet he was dreaming of her she'd likely be right. The room that surrounded her was more like hers then any place she'd ever been. Anywhere he was was home in her heart, long as they were together.
It was as thought he always left room for her when he slept because the space between himself and the edge of the bed was absolutely perfect. With a quiet swift motion she unzipped and slipped out of her Seven Jeans leaving them on the floor along with her For All Humanity tank top. Reaching for the tee shirt he'd worn all day she pulled it on over her head pausing at her face to breath in his scent off of it.
As she climbed in beside him a little bit of her cares seemed to just let go. He always had that affect on her. She snuggled up close to him feeling like the only two pieces of a puzzle that matched together perfectly to form an untouchable photo. Her head fit right on his arm in the perfect position to be lined up with his heart. A heart she would have frozen time to listen to it forever beat.
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
Right as sleep was beginning to take way on the blonde's mind and body she felt the strong caring arms wrap protectively around her shoulders and torso pulling her as close to his body as was possible. Her emerald green eyes opened for a brief moment only to look up and reflect themselves in his deep brown ones. An adorkable and sleepy smile spread over his features and soon the same happy glow spread across her face also. There was no way to stop it when she had his arms so tightly wrapped around her.
"I love you" her soft childlike voice came out in a whisper almost as he lowered his head and kissed her temple. "I love you too" a groggy sleepy voice he managed to come out with. It was then that Serena knew that maybe after Hurricane Georgina blew passed there was a chance they could be Dan and Serena yet again. After all love and faith could very well at times be more powerful then the threats of fate. Especially if two people were destin to be together.
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
