Diskklaimer: I don't own the Aladdin series. Then again, I haven't seen it in oh….mutters to self while counts on fingers Ten-fifteen years. Long time. So most of this is just my randomosity. But THAT'S OKAY!!!!!!!! Oh, yeah, and Jade is a chara of a friend of mind. Quite a nice psyc—erm, I mean, completely normal friend, that friend is. smiles

Ha…I spelled disclaimer wrong. Hahaha.

AUTHORESS SHPEEL!!!!!

camera turns on, revealing Eliwood sleeping with various pieces of garbage covering him. Yuugi and Jounouchi are being chased around by a rather large mutant bee (fear the bee), Frodo and Sam are trying to hold back something alive in the closets, and Evanflaed and Matthew are arguing about something

Evanflaed: For the last time, Matthew, WHERE IS HALFLIGHT'S CHICKEN?!?!?!?

Matthew: hides something that looks like a suspiciously dead chicken Chicken!?!?! What chicken!?!? There was never any chicken!!!!!!!! IT WAS ALL A LIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Evanflaed: ……………..Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight………

HalfLight: comes down and looks around Wow…my portfolio is trashed!!!!!

Eliwood: sits up and brushes rotton duck feather off of his nice clothing No clown…AH!!!! HALFLIGHT!!!!! stands suddenly at attention I, uh, watered the plants while you were gone!!!!

Jounou: HE PEED ON THEM!!!!!!

Eliwood: SQUEALER!!!!

Jounou: JERK!!!!!!

Evanflaed: CATFIGHT!!!!! takes armchair out of pocket and a random bucket of popcorn. Random people surround her, yelling "Fight!! Fight!!! Fight!!!!"

HL:…………………..looks at Matthew

Matthew: shies away Don't look at me…I thought it was sugar….takes random packet of white stuff out of pocket BAD PAPER PLATES!!! BAD!!!! Thou art but a sugary substance of the mind……

Note: I didn't come up with the idea above. It was Harlequin, the admin of one of my RP sites. JOIN!!!! JOIN NOW!!!!! Oh, yes and quite a good fellow, our dicta—erm, admin is.

Summary: in singsong voice Guess who's got a little si-ster? THAAAAAT'S RIGHT!!!!! It's everybody's favorite evil villan, about to confront his greatest enemy—an innocent, friendly, twelve-year-old cat creature!!! When randomosity strikes the Lord of the Black Desert, how will anyone be able to cope…?

Genre: Humor

Rating: Ehhhhhh…PG? Sound okay? Okay? Okay.

Warnings: About the aforementioned scene…don't do paper plates, kids. Bad for your brain, they are. Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaa…..

The Never-Ending Adventures of Mozi and Amlekaraku!!!!

By the Industrial Half-Light (no strings attached!!)

"What is it, dearest Mother?"

Radagast raised an eyebrow at the girl, but said nothing. He was not raised to question; he was raised to kill.

His mistress looked severely annoyed.

"Amle…well, perhaps it's best you went with Radagast…it'll get you out of my hair…."

Only Radagast heard the bitterly muttered last part.

Amle smiled brightly. "Ooooooooh!!!!!!! Raddy, do you hear that!?!? We get to go down to AGRABAH!!!!!!" The little twelve-year-old bounced around happily, screeching something about shopping centers…and fluffy chickens…and more shopping….

Radagast was pretty sure his eye was twitching….

Mirage rolled her eyes. "While you're down there, try disposing of Amle as well."

"Good one, Mistress Mirage," he said in a toneless voice.

"No. I'm serious, Get rid of her." Mirage twitched convulsively. "Can't…take….sweetness….aaaaagh….." She promptly fell to the ground, her eyes rolling into her head.

"Oh no!!!!" Amle immediately stopped bouncing around, running quickly to her mother's side. "Oh no, mother!!! Please don't die!!!!"

Radagast took this as a sign they needed to leave. He reached up, pulling a cord that said "Pull to Purge Enemies" (A/N: Don't own Excel Saga, either. SQUEEEE!!!!!!).

Amle screamed as a random trap door opened beneath them. Radagast was bored as he fell through nothingness. When you spend your life being raised as an assassin, it kind of numbs you to anything "terrifying".

…So…he meditated!!!!!!!!

"Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I have you now, Aladdin!!!!!!"

Mozenrath stood over Aladdin, laughing his head off. Said prince was currently tied up in a net of silly string, looking positively scared. Said sorcerer was cackling maniacally, wearing a pink bunny suit and carrying a stereo.

Readers may wonder how Aladdin fails to escape from silly string…or why Mozi-chan was wearing a pink bunny suit…or where in the Seven Hells he got electricity from…or what that dangly thing at the back of our throats is….

To which, the authoress responds…you are gorganzola ducks.

"You'll never get away with this, Mozenrath!!!" Aladdin shouted, stating the Stereotypical Hero's Obvious Fact, and wearing the Stereotypical Hero's Expression of Pissiness. "My friends will come and rescue me in the Stereotypical Moment of Truth, and we shall overthrow you with the Stereotypical SWORD OF JUSTICE!!!!!!"

"….Riiight," Mozenrath said, plugging the stereo into a hippopotamus. "Well, while you're waiting, I'll subject you to the worst torture ever!!!! You will have to listen to the stereo—"

"COOL!!!!!"

"….I wasn't finished. And you will have to listen to…D12 SONGS!!!!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOObreathOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—"

At which point, Aladdin passed out from lack of air.

Mozenrath cackled evilly, taking his Forfinger of Evil Evilly Evilness and evilly pressing the play button. The lewd lyrics blared forth from the stereos with lyrics that are so lewd, so horribly lewd they can't be typed here—or maybe it's just because said authoress' parents would get angry at her for even the tiniest reference.

(A/N: I honestly don't get this. I mean, my characters can freaking BLINK at one another and they're all like "Oh, that's so horrible!!!" and then they're watching stuff with lots of blood and violence and sex and stuff…parents are weird….)

Aladdin began twitching in his sleep. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—"

"Xerxes, shut him up!!!!!"

The sand eel appeared out of nowhere, stuffing his horribly slimy body into Aladdin's screaming mouth.

Authoress takes time out to run away from Kikyo-chan and the terror of burning rubber.

Quite suddenly….

"aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"

KRASH BANG BOOM MOO BAAAA CAKE!!!

"OW!!!…Itaaaiiiiiii…."

Mozenrath blinked. Then he blinked again.

What appeared to be a little cat-girl had landed on his stereo, thus destroying his college-educated torture. Behind her, her companion landed very gracefully. He just watched her as she stood.

Mozenrath frowned. "Little girl, do you understa—stop staring at me, it's—why are you frickin staring at me?!?!?!" The girl was now on her tiptoes looking at him intently with big innocent blue-and-gold eyes.

"…What's your name?" she asked curiously. Mozenrath stared at her. He did not speak. The authoress forbade him. Muahahahahahahaha.

"…You look oddly familiar…."

Mozenrath did not respond, but his face took on a more inquisitive look. She did look like someone he knew…and then it came to him like a lightbulb in his head.

Actually, it hit him more like a ton of bricks….

"It's Mozenrath, isn't it? Isn't it?!?!" The girl looked excited now. "I'm right, aren't I?? You're Mozenrath of the Black Desert!!!!"

"…….." Mozenrath searched for something nice to say….

"How…tall you have grown…Amlekaraku…." He started twitching.

The girl grinned. Sort of a delayed reaction thing…don't ask.

"RAAAAAATHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!"

The next thing the sorcerer new, he was tackled to the ground by all white and furry affection. For a twelve-year-old, she was strong as hell….

"RATHYRATHYRATHYRATH!!!!!! I've missedid you!!!!" She stood up, taking his wrist. "C'mon!!!! I wanna meet all your friends, and tell you stories, and catch up with you—"

Mozenrath took on a panicked expression. "But—no—nnngh!!!!!" The sorcerer tried in vain to drag himself back to the Aladdin, where he could torture him more….

Radagast sighed. People were complicated. When things got complicated, he was just used to killing them and being done with it. But Amle would've lectured him….

And so the scene ended with Radagast following the two, and Aladdin still imprisoned, laughing his butt off.

"Oh, Lord Mozenrath!!! You're ho—who's this?"

"Ooooooooo!!!! Yer preeeeeeeety!!!!! Is she your wife, Rathyrath? IsheisheisheisheisheisheISHE?!?!?!!?!?!"

"NO!!!!! Amle, let me speak—"

Mozenrath stood up, sand pouring out of his shirt and pants. His hair was now an afro. He made a mental note not to use Aussie Shampoo.

"Jade…this…." He tried to compose himself. "This…this is Amlekaraku, my…my…."

He almost cried as he spat the last two words out.

"Little sister—"