Disclaimers are fun. Were fun. I ran out of funny ideas. D'arvit! I don't own Artemis Fowl.
I wrote this after going to the eye doctor to get contacts. I spent half an hour trying to get them in. I kept blinking just as I touched my eye. Finally my eyes started to hurt and they told me to come back next week. Apparently they won't give me the contacts until I manage to get them in. so for now I'm stuck with my back-up glasses, which are driving me nuts because my distance vision is off because of a stronger prescription than last time.
When I was trying to put the contacts in I kept thinking about how people in the AF world can put iris cams in with no trouble even if they don't wear contacts. I almost commented, but decided I would just get weird looks from the doctor. On with the story!
Myles Fowl sighed. He took off his new glasses to inspect them. He decided that they were a tolerable style. They made his vision funny though. He had gotten used to the blur of his distance vision. Now when he walked the floor looked uneven, even though it wasn't. He knew his eyes would adjust, but right now it was annoying.
Both 13-year-old Fowl twins had gone to the eye doctor and been told they were near-sighted. Myles was not too pleased to hear this. His brother Artemis had 20/20 vision. Myles had assumed he would too.
Beckett Fowl had not minded as much. His complaint was that he would break his glasses. Unlike Myles, who was a scientist, Beckett loved sports. Myles seemed to have taken after his older brother. He loved his computer and spent very little time voluntarily outside.
Beckett loved being outside. He was intelligent like his brothers, he just didn't care. When he found a subject that interested him in school he did well. Other times he got too distracted by soccer to bother with math homework and would get poor grades.
So now Beckett was worried about getting glasses. He had insisted he get contacts. He had gotten glasses as well, as a back-up. But Beckett wanted contacts. He was in the other room at the eye doctor's office being shown how to put them in.
Myles poked his head in to see how it was going. Beckett was trying to hold his eye open and put the contact in, but he kept blinking before he could get it in. He scowled at the mirror. "I can't do it!"
Angeline Fowl tried to encourage her son. "Of course you can, keep trying."
Myles said, "Why don't you just deal with glasses?"
"I don't want to break them playing soccer. And besides, I'll look like a nerd if I wear glasses!"
Myles scowled at this. "You're such a simpleton."
"At least I'm not a computer geek with no friends."
"I do too have friends."
"Sure. Just like Artemis and his imaginary girlfriend." Beckett said, dragging out the word 'sure' in sarcasm.
Angeline frowned. She was the only one in the family to have actually met her eldest son's girlfriend, the elf Holly. Out loud she said, "Boys, stop. Don't make fun of your brothers."
Beckett went back to trying to get the contact in his eye, but was still paying attention to Myles. Without thinking about it, he finally succeeded. He blinked furiously. It felt funny. And now his vision was weird. One side was blurry, the other clear. "Keep talking," he instructed his brother.
Myles blinked. "What?"
"Talk. Distract me. Surely you're smart enough to accomplish that?"
"Smarter than you, Simpleton."
"Thanks, Dork." Beckett said, blinking hard as he finally got the other contact in.
"You look like a girl trying to impress a guy." Myles said.
"How would you know? A girl would never flutter her eyelashes at you."
Beckett finally stopped blinking.
"Excellent!" Said the eye doctor. "Now I have to show you how to take them out."
"But I just got them in!"
Myles snickered. "Glasses are so much easier."
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Later that year Myles and Beckett met Holly. Once again the world was in danger, and this time all three Fowl boys were needed to save it.
"I'm going to need both you boys to wear an iris cam." Holly said.
Beckett switched one of his contacts out for the iris cam. Holly adjusted it to account for his near-sightedness. Myles was having trouble.
"I can't get it in!" he complained.
Beckett smirked, looking scarily like his older brother. "Told you contacts were better."
END
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