Breaking? Easy. Fixing? Harder.

Rachel Berry tossed and turned, moaning and groaning. Her stomach twisted with knots, in return Rachel wined softly. She didn't know why she kept so quiet, know one else was going to be disturbed by the noise. But yet she screamed in her pillow, the sound came out muffled, and unheard. The dog in the opposite room of Rachel's barked, causing Rachel to get annoyed.

Rachel Berry wasn't sick with some disease. She was just nervous. Nervous for the following day, the day? September 20th 2011, first day of Senior year. She should be prancing around in her room looking for a outfit, nope. Here she is, laying in her bed. Her alarm sitting on the night stand clearly says 12 o clock, no! 12 o 1.

Rachel decides to get some shut eye: counting sheep. 1 sheep 2 sheep 3 sheep... Lame! She isn't a small helpless child that needs a ridiculous game to help her fall asleep. She's 17 yrs old almost a legal adult. And adults don't need a game to help them sleep-they have sleeping pills.

Rachel cracks a smile, she leaps out of bed. Her hands reach out in front of her, trying to find the bathroom. It would probably be a good idea to turn on the lights, wouldn't? Rachel finds the light switch, switching it on with a click. That's better, everything's bright and clear. Well nothings bright or clear in her bedroom.

The room is colorless, and there's smoke filtering through out the house. A month ago Rachel decided to get rid of the childish yellow walls and the Broadway posters. Don't get her wrong she still loves Broadway but she doesn't want to jink herself. Her crazy mind found a Rachel way of losing the posters that hung around her walls. And for the smoke... Rachel had candles lighted through out the house, and incense planted in the plants. It's probably not a good idea to have all those fire hazards, but oh well!

Rachel stands in front of her bathroom mirror, having a staring contest. Her competition? A petite brunette with bloodshot eyes. But if you look deep, you'll see the chocolate orbs, that made you melt at the sight. But right now, the orbs look almost pale, begging for attention. But in Rachel's eyes, she's beautiful. Her mouth spreads in a smirk, opening the medicine Cabinet she look's through her 'Candy Box'. Searching the shelves, Rachel finds what she wants more than anything: pills. Special Pills. The child proof cab is opened in a second, landing on the floor. The next sound is the pills emptying out on her hand. Three pills is popped into Rachel's mouth. Her head drops to the sink. Turning on the faucet she swallows all three pills and some water in a gulp The weird feeling of the liquid slide downs her esophagus, is something Rachel has come to like. Taking three Zolpidem pills is something Rachel has not done before. Taking two and one is the limit for Rachel. But since getting the fake prescription for Zolpidem, it's been harder for the affect to start. Probably cause you're only suppose to take it for a short period of time, unless it won't work... Oh well.

Rachel re-walks her steps, slipping back under her covers. In about 10 minutes or less, Rachel's out with a smile across her lips.

Like her room, things have changed, around Rachel, on Rachel, and in Rachel. It all started the summer after Junior Year. Finn didn't kiss her like she had expected. He walked off the New York stage, to the side of Quinn Fucking Fabray. Finn had broken up with Quinn after Coach Sylvester's sister's funeral. But once Quinn had gotten the hair cut in New York, Finn went running after the blonde, just what Quinn planned. That wasn't the thing that made her a train wreak, but it was one of the things that caused it.

After returning from New York (The supposedly City of love.) Rachel Berry learned that her father's had been offered a job. Rachel thought it was ecstatic. Hiram at first was unsure because it would call for him being away on Business trips constantly. And Hiram didn't want to leave Rachel all alone. Leroy on the other hand was excited.

"Traveling the world and getting paid... Mmmmhh" were the words Rachel recalled hearing her Dad say.

Rachel really didn't want her father's to leave her alone in the house. But it would make her parents happy, so she excepted. Her father's were gone the next day, only leaving behind a dog to guard Rachel and the house.

Over the days, and weeks Rachel changed. But Rachel wouldn't use the word 'Change' she would replace it with 'Blossomed'.

Her clothes were the first things to go. It was early June when she donated it to the shelter for the homeless. She thought that the clothes didn't benefit her the way she thought it would. The animal sweaters and plaid skirts were meant to symbol her Boldness. Showing that you can be pretty, sexy, etc with Sweaters and plaid skirts. But that just made her Capital Loser Bold. And the main reason was the clothes she had didn't hide her scars.

Rachel doesn't remember when she first tried it. She doesn't even know what made her try it, risking her life was a thing the old Rachel wouldn't even have thought of. But she remembered it started off small. First using the point of a safety pin. Than she went to a butter knife. After the butter knife wasn't full filling her needs she switched to a blade. The first time she cut her wrist with a blade, she cried her eyes out. Yelling 'What is wrong with me!" over and over. The next morning, her finger's softly ran over the scars of the scab. Another week, the scar was a mound, and lightly red, with pink surrounding the red. Rachel was dazed at the art on herself. Of course a normal person wouldn't call that art they would call that sick.

Attitude is a thing that changes eventually, especially when you're Rachel Berry. It was the end of June, a perfect day in Lima, Ohio. Rachel never came out during the day, she stayed cooped up in her house, listening to music. But today she decided to go out on a walk. She left the house, and walked out to the alley way. The dogs barked along while Rachel stuck her head phones on her ears. She lightly hummed to new music she had bought on iTunes the night before. Rachel walked where her body wanted to go, anywhere that was easy to get too. She had stopped working out a long time ago. In a couple minutes Rachel ended up in the park, the bad part of the park. She stepped over broken down fences, and dodged the broken glass on the ground. That's when she met him, a skateboarder. He had faked falling off the skateboard, getting Rachel's attention. Rachel just looked at the guy, that had baggy pants, and a oversized black t-shirt on his head a MLB baseball hat on. Rachel rolled her eyes, and lent her hand to the boy. He smirked, taking her hand, and pulling her down. Before Rachel could yell, he kissed her. Rachel was about to her push away but she melted into the kiss.

Nate was his name, which bugged Rachel because it remind her of the bug, Nat. But that didn't Rachel away from Nate. He was a bad influence on her, cussing and other stuff. Rachel started hanging out more and more with Nate and his friends, learning the things she had never known existed.

Before July started Rachel had lost her virginity, to Nate, but they weren't a couple (Rachel's idea.) Rachel was introduces to a little thing called drugs. She didn't do Meth or Heroin, her thing was Marijuana. She liked to think of it as a herb, because it was a plant. She liked it the best when she makes it into a tea. The smell wasn't as intense as smoking it, and it wasn't such a big hassle like when you cook with it. You just brew it like coffee, easy as that. It doesn't get you real high earthier too, so that was okay to Rachel, she doesn't like the intense stuff.

Mid-July Rachel would be out all night and sleep all night. She was one word bad! And not even a Bad ass she was a wreak.

When Rachel woke up on September 20th 2011 she lay awake wondering what to expect. After minutes of arguing with herself, she get's up. Her closet is colorless, only four main colors: Black, white, gray, and blue. Pink and gold are her least favorite colors now, it makes her gag at the sight of them. After a couple seconds Rachel pulls on a pair of tight, gray (Which was originally white) and a black and white long sleeved shirt.

"Ding Dong!" the house door bell rings, the guard dog barks up a storm.

"Shut Up!" Rachel yells throwing a shoe at the door. The dog yelps and keeps quiet for the rest of the time being. Rachel doesn't bother to answer the door, who ever it is will eventually come in.

"Yo Hoe!" Nate hits the door open with the help of his foot. Rachel smirks at the voice, turning around she see's Nate.

"You know I hate it when you address me with that name." Rachel smiles, making Nate chuckle.

"You love it when I call you that." Nate's voice is playful, meaning he came for a make out session or to fuck her.

"I know and I hate that I do," Rachel places her hands on her hips, looking over the floor.

"What are you looking for?" Nate falls on the unmade bed.

"My Bag," Rachel gets on her knees looking under the bed. "Today's my first day as a Senior." Nate raises an eyebrow.

"Why don't you just drop out?" Nate runs his hands down his face.

"And do what? Work as a cashier? No thank you." she continues looking for the bag.

"You can be my girlfriend full time?" his eyebrows go up and down.

"Hell, no." Rachel says making a face to Nate.

"Come on?" Nate's places his hands behind his head.

"No." Rachel walks to her closet. "Actually Fuck No." Rachel turns around looking at Nate.

"Fuck you, bitch." he spats at her.

"You did." Rachel says with sarcasm. She bends down, revealing her black underwear.

"I did and you were wearing that underwear."

"Shut up." Rachel says, picking up a denim bag, that Nate stole for her, from the mall. Nate doesn't say anything but look at the ceiling. "Why don't you drive me to school?" Rachel walks over to Nate.


The Glee Club hadn't herd from Rachel since Nationals. Some were worried: Kurt, Finn, Mike, Artie. And the others they were grateful: Quinn, Santana, Mr. Schuester. Well the rest they didn't care: Brittany, Mercedes, Tina, and Puck.

Kurt had thought he saw people wearing Rachel's clothes around town, mostly homeless people. Kurt just thought that they shopped at the same store. But again the clothes were hideous, who else would wear animal sweaters and plaid skirts.

Finn was worried. He did truly care about Rachel. He did break up with Quinn for her, but than she got that new hair cut and... Well that wasn't the point. It was like they were a pb&j sand which. Rachel was the grape jelly, Quinn was the peanut butter and Finn was the bread that held them all together. He couldn't just have bread and jelly. And he couldn't just have a sandwich with just peanut butter. Finn would always drive by the Berry household, hoping to see Rachel in the front yard doing yoga or something- He never did. The grass outside was brown, dead. The curtains were always closed, shielding something out or keeping something in. And her car was never out, parked in the garage collecting dust.

Mike teaches a dance class at the Lima recreation center. When Mike got the news that he was going to be teaching with Rachel he felt a challenge coming up. Rachel was the kind of person that would try to take charge. But when the time came, Rachel never showed up. Mike just thought that she had a over whelmed schedule and canceled, but the next week he got the news that Rachel quit the dance lessons. Mike was glad that he didn't have to share the teaching with Rachel. But after he found out that Rachel hadn't been seen or heard from got Mike Chang feeling guilty.

Artie was getting worried, not over the fact that Rachel Berry hasn't been herd from. It was the voice of Rachel Berry, that kept him worrying. But after the days leading to the first day of school, Artie has been worried over the whole Rachel Berry.

Puck, well he was Puck. Puck didn't give a damn about Miss. Know It All, Jewish Princess or whatever. Puck didn't even know Rachel had kept quiet since Nationals. The summer of Senior year was suppose to be the best summer of his life, no way in hell was he going to let a 105 pound girl get in the way of that.

And for the rest they just didn't care or they were glad she kept her mouth shut.


It was the end of the day, of the first day of 12th grade and no one has seen or heard from the famous Rachel Berry.

"Has anybody seen Rachel?" Kurt says like a wild person that hasn't had food or water in a couple of days.

"Nope."

"No."

"Nada"

"Who cares?"

The choir room is filled with the Glee club. Mercedes and Santana had left New Directions for Shelby's choir. Glee club had been meeting two weeks before school even started, and Santana and Mercedes recently changed clubs.

Mr. Schuester comes into the choir room with a clip board in hand. "Okay Class-

Everybody freezes. Looking at the entrance of the choir room. Mr. Schue stops, feeling the tension in the air. He turns in time to see Rachel do her entrance.

"Miss me bitches." Her mouth holds a smirk. Rachel's boot make a clunking noise on the white floor.

Every single person's eyes go wide, at the view of Rachel. Her usual sweater is taken by a long sleeved white and black shirt, gray skinny jeans and black boots that went to her calves. By the looks of it she has to different shoes on, one has fringes, and the other is plain black.

"Rachel Barbra Berry!" Kurt squeals running up to the small girl, prancing her into a tight hug. Rachel freezes at the contact, looking at the female boy.

"Uh, don't touch me." she moves Kurt's hands off of her like he is dirty. Kurt's heart breaks when he hears that.

"S-sorry," he mumbles walking back to his seat. He gives the club a head shake and pleading eyes.

"So what are we doing? Classic rock? A Broadway hit? Or Journey?" Rachel walks to the piano bench and messes up Brads hair. "I bet it's Journey isn't Mr. Schue?" Rachel brushes by the choir teacher and sits by Finn.

"Hello Finny, and Q." Rachel waves her fingers at the duo. Finn stares at the dark make up Rachel's wearing. And Quinn stares at her hair; it's down but messy and there's blonde streaks in it.

"Hey Chang!" Rachel tilts her chair back, seeing Mike seated next to Quinn and Tina. "Sorry I bailed on dance class." Rachel smiles at him. "I hope you didn't show them how to grind up on each other because I am a pro at that." Rachel winks at him, Mike's eyes shoot up. Tina pulls Mike away from Rachel's view. "Aww Tina! Share Mikey!" she smirks at Tina pushing her buttons. "I'm totally up for a threesome." Everybody looks around shocked at the words coming out of Rachel's mouth. "You know who would like that?" Rachel asks, putting her chair down on the floor. "Puckerman! Hey where's Pucky Puck?"

"I'm right here Berry?" Puck says from beside of her. Rachel turns to her left. She jumps up when she see's him.

"There you Puck!" Rachel smiles, patting his cheek. "And you know who would also love to join us on our threesome?" Rachel says directly at Puck. Puck smirks, at the new Rachel. Rachel searches the choir room looking for Santana. "Hey! Where's the Latina?" Rachel asks anybody. She gets up from her seat, but trips and falls on Puck.

"Rachel are you drunk?" Mr. Schuester walks to the small girl who's laying on Puck's lap.

"No!" she get's up quickly but almost falls.

"Okay she's drunk," Mr. Schuester pushes her back on the seat, and walks to the phone across the room.

"NO!" Rachel stands up but misses again and Falls on top of Finn and Quinn.

"Oh my god!-

"Finn don't use God's name in vein." Quinn says, Quinn sniffs the air and gets a whiff of Rachel.

"Oh My God! She reeks of Beer!" Quinn pushes Rachel off her and on the floor.

"Rachel!" a mans voice is herd through the choir room. The club members turn their head to the voice.

"Nate?" Puck says standing up looking at the man.

"Puckerman?" Nate says on his way to Rachel.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick her up." He points to Rachel who's currently laying on the floor.

"Nate!" Rachel says, lifting her arms up like a baby wanting to be held.

"Come one lets get out of here." Nate picks Rachel up. Her legs dangles off his arms, and her neck is placed upon his shoulder.

"Let's go home babe." they walk out the door, leaving the club in confusion.

Puck is the first to talk among the club,"The Hell Happened to her?" he says with a careless tone.

"What are you talking about?" Tina asks. "She's a lot better than before. But I do not appreciate her flirting with my boyfriend." she huffed the last part, taking a hold of Mike's hand.

"She is not better!" Kurt says, making 'better' sound British. "She was drunk! Rachel Berry Drunk!" He yells, throwing his hands up. "Drunk and Rachel does not got together-

"But she did get drunk at her house party." Quinn says. She looks at her nails, as if today's any other day.

"But she would never attend School drunk, nonetheless Glee club!" Kurt turns to the club.

"Kurt's right, that's not our Rachel Berry." Finn defends Kurt, standing by his step-brother.

"Our? She didn't belong with us, to begin with." Tina says with attitude, the way you would talk back to your mother or father.

"Who cares really?" Brittany says, she looks at the red walls, running her hands down it.

"Yeah! She just wants attention like always." Quinn tells the whole Glee Club. "She just wants to steal you away from me," She says directly to Finn.

Finn scrunches his eye brows up, looking at Quinn.

The room begin to erupt in screams and yells, arguing over the Miss. Rachel Berry. Everyone except Will Schuester. He had slipped out of the room long ago, escaping the loud choir room. His destination? Emma Pillsbury office.

"Knock Knock."

"Come in!" Ms. Pillsbury yelled quietly, knowing who it would be. She was typing when she saw Rachel being carried out of the school. And she knew that Will would barge into her office anytime soon after that. She was right, standing before her is the one, Will Schuester.

"Hey Will-

"You'll never guess what just happened," He breathed out, pacing the small office.

"Rachel fell asleep, and some random guy carried her out?" she offered, holding her hands by her chest.

He stops pacing for a while, to look at Emma. "Not exactly. How did you know that?" he asked.

"I have a glass office." She raised her hands, to the walls.

"Oh, right." Will walked the chairs and sat in one. "Rachel, Berry came in drunk!" Mr. Schuester tells the guidance counselor.

"Rachel Berry? As in Broadway wanna be?"

"Yes our Rachel. She came in Glee Club and started to talk inappropriate to the other students. And she was drunk!"

"Are you sure that was Rachel?" Emma was skeptical about Rachel coming to Glee Club drunk.

"Yes it was definitely her. Than I asked her if she was drunk she declined, and fell over. When she did that this guy came in and took her away-

"And you let him?"

"That's beside the point." Will changes the subject. "Somethings wrong with her."

So this is a a thing I thought of when I was nervous about my first day backt o work/school.

And I wanted to see If I should continue this, just so I don't waste time writting something that no ones going to read. So please tell me what you think of it and if I should continue.