"Hi!" Emily, fumbling with her keys, called with a pleasant, slightly shy smile to her neighbor, who was on her knees, digging in her garden. With one of the blue latex gloves that were protecting her hands, Paige brushed away the strands of hair that were peeking out from her bandana and looked up, smiling, as she waved to Emily with the spade that was in her other hand. There were a few beads of perspiration on Paige's forehead, and Emily, for a split second, had the idea of taking a cool glass of iced tea out to her. But she didn't dare gaze at her neighbor too long. She didn't want to give the wrong impression.
Too late.
"Ooh!" Hanna gave just the reaction that Emily had been hoping to avoid. She put her hands on Emily's shoulders from behind as they shuffled inside. "Who's the hottie?"
Emily jerked Hanna inside quickly and slammed the door behind her. She was sure that Paige had overheard. And she was sure that was why Hanna had said it.
"Hanna, can we, please, not?"
Emily was tired of trying to convince people of the truth: that she was happily single. She would have been lying if she had said those words a year earlier - or even six months ago. But it was true, and had been for some time. Emily was no longer girl-crazy, like her boy-crazy best friend. She no longer felt the need to have a woman to complete her, or even to get her through the night. She was enjoying single life.
"Emily!"
Emily's glare said, "What?" Not that it mattered to Hanna.
"So, you had one bad relationship. That doesn't mean you have to give up on all women!"
"We're actually going to change to another subject, now," Emily droned in a patronizing monotone.
"Uh, no!" Hanna raised her eyebrows. "We're actually not!" Emily glared at her. "She's obviously into you, Em!"
"Ugh!" Here we go again. "What makes you think she's even 'into' girls?" Hanna opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Emily cut her off. "And don't say her nails, because, if you had been paying attention, you would've noticed that she had gloves on!"
"I wasn't going to say that," Hanna protested, lying through her teeth. "But it's kind of interesting the way that you picked up on that little detail about her fingers. So, these gloves, did they have holes in those gloves?"
"Hol - Hanna, what are you even talking about?"
"Holes! If she's got nails like mine," - Hanna held them out for her to see - "they'd poke right through those gloves! But, if she's got lesbian nails…"
"Ugh - God, Hanna - I swear we're not doing this!"
"Don't get all pissy just because my gaydar is way better than yours!"
"Fine. Go ahead. You can keep on talking about it. I'm just going to go upstairs tomy room and shut the door, but don't take that to mean that I'm ignoring you."
Hanna groaned. "Ugh! Why are you being so stubborn, Em? Why don't you let the people who care about you the most help you get out of this funk you're in?"
"Because I'm not in a funk!" Emily raised her voice to match Hanna's. "And if you guys really cared about me, then you'd be able to tell that I'm happy, and just be happy for me!"
Emily was sitting in her easy chair with a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her, and the basket that held the day's mail in her lap. An oversized golden envelope caught her attention: an invitation to her cousin's wedding in Texas. As if on cue, Emily's phone buzzed, and she rolled her eyes on seeing who it was.
"Hi, Mom," she said, trying to mask the dread in her voice.
"Hi, Emmy. Are you checking the mail?"
Emily forced a smile, knowing where this was leading. "You know me well, Mom."
"Did you get your invitation?"
Emily sighed. "I'm looking at it now."
"It's great, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I'm really happy for Dom."
"Oh, yeah. Sure. But it's great that we'll be seeing you, Emmy. You know, it's been a while."
"I know, Mom. It's just been... really busy... in fact, I'm not even sure that I'll be able to get away for the wedding."
Pam didn't even hear that. She was on her own agenda, as usual. "And, you know, now that you're single, there maybe someone I might want you to meet..." There was a sing-song quality to Pam's voice.
"Mom..."
"She's really cute…" Pam was still literally singing the girl's praises.
"Mom…"
"And single…"
"Mom!"
"Emmy!" Pam's tone got sharp and urgent. "It's been over a year. Don't you think that the statute of limitations on Maya has expired?"
"Mom!" Emily's tone was just as sharp.
"What? Oh, Emily! Are you trying to tell me that you've already found someone new?"
"I..." Emily sighed reisgnedly. "Yes, yes, Mom, that's exactly what I'm trying to tell you." Emily let her hand drop on her lap as she gestured out of frustration, still idly working through her stack of mail.
"Oh, Emmy! I'm so happy for you! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Yeah, well... it's early days."
"And what's this mystery girl's name?" Emily could hear the eagerness in her mother's voice.
"Her name..." Emily hesitated for a moment.
"Or his name! No judgment!"
Emily sighed. "Her name," she said emphatically. Her hand fell onto a gardening catalog that had been delivered to her house by mistake. "Paige McCullers," she blurted out.
"Oooh - McCullers! 'Emily McCullers - ' it does have a nice ring to it!"
"Mom!"
"So, tell me all about her! What's she like?"
"She's just… you know. I don't know." Emily shrugged out of frustration. "The typical… girl, I guess."
"Well, is she short, tall?"
"She's – average."
"Does she have a pretty face?"
"I think so. You know, she's like… the regular, all-American girl."
"Oh – the girl next door type."
"Exactly." Emily bit her lip at how her mother had quite accidentally nailed it. "The girl next door."
"Well, I want to see a picture. Have you put anything on facebook?"
"Not yet, Mom." This was harder than Emily expected. "It's early days!" she repeated.
"Well, Emmy, you need to get a picture of the two of you up on facebook! She's not still in the closet?"
"Mom!"
"Okay, okay, okay. I'll let it go. Oh, I can't wait to meet her, Emmy! Should I tell Dominic to reserve a hotel room for her?"
Shit. Emily hadn't thought of that. "Mom, I..."
"Emily, you know she's welcome to stay at our house. I just thought that might be a little awkward for her... since it's early days?"
"A little awk..." Emily groaned. "Mom, first of all, I told you, I'm not even sure I can go! And, second, if I do go, I'm not going to take Paige. It's too soon to invite her to a family wedding."
"Well, you know, Emily, you're not getting any younger..."
Emily held the phone away from her face and took a deep breath. "What does that even mean?"
"It means that things move a lot faster when you get older. It takes less time to figure out what you want out of a relationship. You know who you are, and you know what you're looking for. You know what they always say - the buses don't run as often after dark, but, when they come, they travel a lot faster..."
"Mom, nobody says that." Emily's voice was flat as her resolve started to break.
"Well," Pam said, drawing out the word, "Maybe if this Paige McCullers doesn't want to come with you, it might be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new!"
Emily scoffed. "Are you seriously trying to break up my relationship?" Emily couldn't believe how offended she was getting over this non-existent relationship.
"I'm just saying, Emmy. It doesn't sound very serious to me. And if this Paige is only interested in a casual relationship, maybe it's time for you to meet someone who might want something a little bit more serious."
"I never said she's not interested in a serious relationship! I said it's early! We haven't been seeing each other very long."
"Well, if she doesn't even want to go to this wedding with you..."
"Mom!" Emily was trying not to yell. "I didn't say that. I haven't even asked her!"
"Well, I don't know why you're getting so upset with me, Emmy! Just ask her!"
"Fine! I'll ask her!" Wait - What did I just say?
Pam always had a way of getting to Emily like that. And so, somehow, just to get off of the phone, Emily found herself clutching the gardening catalog that was meant for Paige McCullers, standing at Paige's front doorstep, trying to convince herself that she wasn't insane for doing what she was about to do.
Thanks to thecatfromaliceinwonderland, who supplied the prompt for this story. I've taken a few liberties with her prompt, but, basically, as she summarized it, it's "the fake dating rom-com scenario."I hope I can do it justice.
Quick note: It appears the chapters are going to be shorter than usual (even for me) in this one, but I update every day, so, if you need longer updates, I recommend tuning in only once per week and grabbing seven chapters at a time. ;)
Thanks for reading! :)
