One shot – hope you like. I just had this idea and had to write it down. I may have changed some details of what happened in Season 4 but oh well, never mind and Merle might be OC but that's the whole point of this story.
Enjoy! BTW, if enough people like this, I might write some more chapters. So, any reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
His
i
We were out hunting deer and I raced after Dad and his boyfriend – Daryl of 6 years since Mom died giving birth to my sister. I still occasionally had nightmares about that day – having to be the one to kill her. I knew Dad still felt bad about that. That it was me who had to make sure she didn't come back when I was only 12.
But in the world we lived in, you had to grow up a lot quicker than before if you wanted to survive. There was no such things as having a childhood anymore and I felt relieved that my sister would never know what she was missing. School (although I'd hated it at the time), homework, riding your bike up and down the street, ice-creams (I missed them the most), the excitement fo the long summer vacation and finally the passage graduating But I would tell her and it would be like what a history lesson in school about the Romans had been for me. In some places there was still some ruins and relics left by them but she wouldn't even remember what it had been like before.
Dad had lost it then for a while too – had barely been aware of Judith and it had been Daryl who had roused everyone to get milk for her and saved her. She probably would have died if it hadn't been for him and that's when things had changed between them.
I guess Dad never forgot that he took care of his kids when he couldn't and that's when it had begun.
A little touch on the arm here, a manly squeeze of the shoulders there until it grew slowly into something else. I'd noticed them getting closer after Mom died but hadn't realised just how close.
I'd been disgusted and furious when he told me, in private before they announced it to the rest of the group. I'd spat at him that I hated him and that he was a filthy fag while his face had turned white. A natural reaction – to find that your own father takes it up the ass and naturally, I'd felt like he was betraying my dead mother.
I'd run away but Daryl had been the one to find me. I screamed insults at him and fought him until he cuffed me round the head. That had sobered me up even though it hadn't hurt – was just a warning and had thought that he probably wouldn't hit or really hurt a kid. Yet, I wasn't sure.
'Now...' He'd hissed in my face as he pinned me up against a tree trunk by the throat. Yet I'd been terrified because when he was angry, he was intimidating, especially when he loomed over me and glared at me with his pitiless, blue eyes.
'Lemme go!' I yelled, struggling. Unable to wriggle out of his iron grip.
He only smirked at me and bent his face close to mine. 'Now, boy. Ya gonna play nice if I do?'
'Fuck you! Ya fucked my Dad!'
'Thought not.' He paused. 'Yeah, I did fuck ya Dad and he loved every moment of it.'
My mind whirled and I felt sick – I never wanted to know all the sordid details and he sounded exactly like his brother,who scared me even more. So I was glad that Daryl had been the one to find me although of course, I wanted my Dad. Even though I told myself I never wanted to see him. Ever again.
Then he released me.
'I hate you!' I screamed childishly into his face. 'And him! Ya both fuckin' sick!'
'Look, I'm sorry. It must be a shock to you – me and ya Dad... Shouldn't have said that to ya jus' now. But...'
'My Dad ain't gay! Before – he'd never have a sex with another guy!'
'Well, sometimes things change. Who we like can change too, ya know. I thought ya were old enoug to realise that.' He shrugged when I didn't reply. 'Me – I've been with girls too mostly...The thing with ya Dad jus'...jus' happened.' His voice trailed off and he looked down at the ground and blushed.
I blinked. Had he really just gone red? I felt my anger drain away from me. Well – most of it anyway.
'Why did you bother to' come lookin' for me?' I asked when what I really meant was why him and not my Dad and suddenly there was a painful lump in my throat . Because was he even looking for me? Did he care that I'd run off after what I called him? Said to him?
'Bet ya wish I weren't around and not in the way, then ya could have him all to yaself.'
'That ain't true!' He grabbed my face in his hands to eyeball me. I tried to draw back, to get away from his relentless gaze that I couldn't escapee. 'Ya his kid!'
I gaped at him.
'Look, I'm sorry about ya Mom...I lost mine when I was young like you too but ya still got ya Dad.'
I jerked away and he let me go.
'Ya his and he's mine so that makes you and Judith mine too, got it?' He ruffled my hair while I looked up at him in confusion. Not knowing what to feel now. What did he mean by that?
He grabbed his crossbow. 'Come on.'
I followed without a word, stumping along in a sulk yet I was relieved that he found me. That someone did.
Maybe he did really care about me because he kept looking back after me to make sure I was following.
'Come on!' He barked at me, forcing me to run and catch up. Once or twice, he reached down and swooped me up in a bear-hug until I shrugged him off irritably and he'd laugh.
ii Bare-ly legal
Set about 6 years later when Carl is 18.
It soon became clear what Daryl meant by calling me and Judith his. Meanwhile, it took me and the group time to adjust to the news that my Dad and him were together but they accepted it in the end. Even the most conservative religious folks. Besides, Daryl had quickly moved up to Rick's right man and second-in-command.
I was his – meant that Daryl had become kind of like my second Dad. I even confided to him stuff I'd done – like when I'd had sex because for some reason, I felt like I couldn't tell my real father. He'd nodded approvingly. 'Don't worry, I won't tell no-one.' Whatever I told him, he would just listen and not judge. He would only give advice if I asked for it.
Strange to say and I know that Judith saw him that way too. She even called him 'Pop'. It was OK for her – she didn't remember Mom although me and Dad tried to keep her memory alive as much as possible. Talk about her often and show my sister photos of her so that she knew what Mom used to look like and sad to say – I had to remind myself often otherwise I might forget. And Merle – well, even after 6 years, I still hadn't worked out how I felt about him. He treated me like son – had never done anything out of line exactly but sometimes I would see his eyes rove approvingly all over my body when he thought I wasn't looking, especially now I'd filled out. And instead of being worried, I felt myself shiver but not with fear, with excitement. I found myself wondering what sex with a man would be like...with someone as rough and rugged as Merle. Would he get rough, smack me to the ground and slap me around a little? Kick my legs open? They said that being taken by another man always hurt at first even if they prepared you. Yet, instead of frightening me, these fantasies of him taking me brutally only turned me on. I thought about having his much greater weight and muscles pinning me down and having him inside me at night...I'd jerk off to these fantasies involving me and my 'uncle' and they were one of the few things I felt that I couldn't talk about with Daryl. After all, he was his brother and that was too weird and he wouldn't be understanding when it came to him.
Beth had introduced me to sex in secret a couple of years ago in the woods and man, that had been an experience. But we weren't exactly together – she'd hooked up with Rex, a good-looking smart older guy in his late twenties. He'd been a cowboy down in Texas and had the drawl to match.
Didn't matter...If we'd got together and been official, it would have only upset the group. So, these days, she was more like the big sister I never had apart from the sex thing that only happened once.
I wondered what it was like growing up with 2 Dads and no Mom...but then she was the baby of the group, she was everybody's.
Daryl ruffled my hair fondly. 'Comin', kiddo?'
'Sure.' I got out my crossbow – smaller than his. He'd found it with Merle out on a run about a year ago, saved it up for my birthday and given it to me.
I grunted and flexed my muscles. I'd taken to working out like Shane. I wanted to be big and powerful like him but I had my Dad's small frame. I was slim but lean and wiry with it.
When I did that, I shivered to feel eyes moving all over my body, weighing me up and approving. I turned round to see my 'Uncle' -like he called himself jokingly sometimes, watching me.
I realised what it must have looked like probably he thought that I was showing off for him.
I turned away as I felt the deep burning blush spreading all over my cheeks. Meanwhile, I felt a worm of excitement curling up in my belly and even further down.
iii Merle is a gentleman for once
Merle slung an arm around me. Weren't no big deal...me and my three Daddies to the outside world. But his touch was different from my the other two men – Daryl's didn't send butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Or make my scalp burn when he ran his fingers through my scalp.
On the surface, harmless, paternal touches.
Yeah, right.
Without us saying anything, his hand moved down to my thigh where he scratched the inside of it casually with his fingernails through the denim. The fiery feelings spread through my skin.
'Wha..what ya doin'?' I stuttered.
'Nothin'.' He smirked and took his hand away and squeezed my shoulders.
Without anyone noticing, he drew back and kissed my nape, trailing kisses down the back of my neck where the others couldn't see. I stifled a gasp and arched against him.
'Ya like that, boy?' He whispered. 'Thought so. Anytime ya wanna have some special grown-up fun, ya come and see ya Ole Uncle Merle, OK?'
I was too stunned to answer, couldn't believe what had happened, what he just did. With that, he was just gone.
I thought about over the next few days – carefully considering his offer. He'd look over at me as if sizing me up or mocking me. Sometimes I could have told him to back off, it wasn't ever going to happen but everytime I tried to, my throat would seize up and I couldn't get the words out. He'd run his hand through my hair or squeeze my shoulders, setting off all those confusing feelings. He knew it of course, his infuriatingly smug grin said it all.
I didn't want to exclude any options after all. I didn't have a girlfriend and my dick was just aching for action. Not like I couldn't fix for myself – I'd been doing that since I was 10 after all.
After six days, I couldn't take it anymore. My Dads were oblivious...which was the way I liked it and when I pleaded feeling sick (I had a slight head-cold) for not going on the hunt, I saw 'Uncle' Merle snap his head round and grin at me. Then he nodded.
I nodded back and he poked his tongue out and licked his upper lip with it. Slowly.
I turned away, blushing furiously.
He went with them but he must have found a way to slip off them and double-back to camp and called outside my tent bout two hours later. I wasn't even surprised. In fact, I'd been lying on my air-mattress in breathless excitement, wanting him to come and find me and not to – swinging between the two like a pendulum. Butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
'Carl? I need to talk to ya, son.'
I unzipped the flap and looked out.
'Not here.' He jerked his eyes to the sides of his head. 'Follow me. Bring ya crossbow.'
Just as I expected, he led me to the woods. To a clearing that was rarely disturbed by the others.
…
'So, ya came, boy.' When he called me that, he always drawled and I knew that either I was in trouble and going to get for a tongue-lashing or that he wanted to put me in my place. The latter I thought. He was lounging against a tree when I thought he would have just jumped me and yanked down my pants and taken me like that. I didn't really know how sex between two guys worked.
So, I stood there, waiting nervously jogging from one foot to the other. Already regretting coming here. He must have read my mind.
'I ain't gonna jus' grab ya and throw ya to the ground. Or force ya. Ya gotta make the first move.' His lingering gaze moved up and down my body as he smiled like he liked what he saw.
'I...' I didn't know what to say.
He sighed in disappointment. 'Forget it. It's OK...no hard feelings.' But he watched me as if he was expecting me to do something but I didn't know what that was.
'Merle...'
'Should have known. Jus' a kid – should never have...' He was already getting ready to go.
He didn't get to finish before I rushed him and kissed him, putting all my fears aside. His scratchy stubble scratched my skin but it wasn't totally unpleasant. Meanwhile, he growled and made surprised, pleased sounds in his throat while he wound his hand in my hair and stroked my back.
'Ya know how long I waited for ya to do that, son?' He chuckled. 'I tell ya – when I thought that animal was gonna hurt ya like that, I regretted killin' him so quick. Ya were jus' a kid then, weren't ya?' I felt his hot breath in my hair and his fierce protectiveness made me my nerves abate a little and I wanted him! 'Ain't now. Now ya legal.' He growled in my ear.
He was talking about when we'd been ambushed by old enemies of my Dad's and Daryl had been with them. He hadn't known what they were. The greasy-haired one had pinned me down to rape me in front of my father and I'd fought like a wild-cat while the others got busy beating Daryl to death.
That was until Merle shot the fat bastard trying to tear my clothes off, giving Dad an opening to slit the leader's throat. He'd saved all of us that day and we hadn't even known that he was there. He never did tell us why he was following us but it was lucky he was.
I remembered that day – the man's heavy body pinning me down, roughly forcing his tongue into my mouth while he ripped my clothes off. The worst thing about it was that it was in front of my father – I was scared afterwards that he would look at me differently. Maybe like I was a fag like him which I apparently was. The past still had a grip on me.
I drew back and Merle realised what a jackass he'd been to bring it up again – especially now. Or regretted maybe losing his chance with me.
'Sh...' He crooned and stroked my hair before he started to kiss my throat softly. 'It's over now. Ya safe.'
'Yeah it is. Fuck it.' I heard myself snarl, sounding like my other Daddy and therefore him before I shoved him against the tree and his eyes flew wide at my eagerness. 'So, Uncle Merle...' I drawled. 'Ya gonna teach me...?' I asked, looking up at him with wide-opened innocent eyes, I sensed he would like that.
He did.
He took the hint that I wanted to turn things up a notch when he started feeling me up all under my shirt. His finger tips grazing and rubbing my nipples.
'Ya ever fucked before?' He hissed in my ear before he started attacking my throat.
'Yeah...' I moaned thinking of Beth and a few other girls who'd come our way.
'A man?' His breathing was too harsh in my ear while he waited breathlessly for my answer. I shook my head.
'Didn't think so, baby.' He started playing with my nipples and started to take my shirt off.
I arched against him and moaned and he made a pleased sound in his throat.
'It's OK, let Uncle Merle show ya how...'
I nodded eagerly and started to grind against him, my excitement was building.
'I'll take care of ya, make ya feel really good.' Now my shirt was all the way off and I felt a moment of shyness. Maybe he would think I was puny and unattractive.
'Sh...' He hugged me and stroked my hair and rubbed my back. 'I ain't gonna hurt ya. Ya two Daddies would kill me for one.'
I laughed at that. It was a joke in the camp that I had two Daddies, three if you included Merle but most people didn't. For good reason it had turned out.
'First things, first, Carlena. I got a big problem. Care to help me with it?' He pointed downwards to his groin. I knew what he wanted of course, I wasn't that innocent. I knelt down in front of him to undo his zip.
'There's a good boy.' He breathed and petted my hair. 'Ya know what to do, don't ya?' He looked down at me with a curious mixture of lust, concern and excitement.
Even though I was nervous and my fingers fumbled, his praise and caresses helped me relax as I took him out.
He gave me directions to what he wanted – the speed and how to treat his balls. All in all, he was more patient than I expected.
'I'm gonna come. Get ready – ya spit or swallow?'
I didn't answer but spat in the bushes when the time came.
'Good boy.' He praised me again and drew me to him. 'Not bad for a first-timer.'
My head was on his chest and I could feel his heartbeat while he played with my hair. Again, surprisingly gently for him.
I was dozy but at the same time, I was wondering when I would get mine.
Again, he must have read my mind because he chuckled as his hands stroked my stomach.
'Handjob OK?'
I nodded eagerly and he dipped his hand down my boxers to create friction there. Touching me so expertly I was gasping and squirming – Beth had been no match on him. Didn't take me long to get close.
'F...Fuck... I'm gonna...'
He took his hand away jus' in time as I squirted all inside my pants.
'Damn!' I swore. 'I'm gonna have to wash these myself now – can't let the women …'
He chuckled and pulled me closer, kissing me deep. It should have felt weird kissing a man more than 30 years older and his moustache tickled me.
After he broke off, he started to get up and hitch up his pants. Do up his belt.
'That it?' I was surprised. 'Ya ain't gonna...?'
'Fuck ya?' He raised his eyebrows. 'Ya that keen for my cock inside ya, huh, boy?' He stroked my jaw gently where the stubble was growing. 'I'm big, ya know. Could hurt ya.'
'No but...' I blushed and looked away. 'I ain't scared!'
'I ain't fuckin' ya. Not yet anyway if ever, ya got that, son?'
'But...'
'If I ever do...I'm gonna take it nice and slow, work ya over real good but ya ain't ready yet. No way.' He brushed the damp strands of hair off my face like he'd done loads of times.
'But I am! I fucked girls before!' Him denying me made me want it even if it did hurt first like I'd heard.
'Ain't the same.' He grabbed me and slammed me against the tree-trunk. His mouth was everywhere on me...kissing, licking, biting, overwhelming me with sensations until I couldn't take it no more. Felt like I couldn't breathe.
'No! Stop!' I pushed him away. I was half-surprised that he stopped when he told me too, he'd always been so intimidating and dominant.
Instead of getting angry, he chuckled like he'd been expecting it. 'See? Come on. Let's go back. Ya can say we went huntin' together.' With that, he picked up his brace of squirrels that he'd brought with him on the fallen log which I hadn't noticed. Probably to back up our story that we'd been hunting together if anyone asked. Likewise, I picked up the crossbow his brother had given me as a birthday present.
'Yeah – we got our excuse if we need one.' He laughed. 'Come on, Carlena.'
I punched him on the arm. 'Stop callin' me that!'
He laughed and grabbed me in hug that had my head trapped in an armlock. I squirmed and punched at him until he let me go, slapping my backside. Hard.
'Bastard!' I yelled – pretty annoyed that we hadn't gone all the way...I felt like I could have taken it. No matter how big he said he was.
That only made him laugh even more.
