Spot Conlon ain't scared of nothin'.
Except he is.
He's scared of losing his borough. Of losing his boys.
He's scared that he'll leave the wrong person in charge when he leaves.
He's scared of letting his boys starve.
Spot Conlon don't do nothin' for no one.
Except he does.
He's the one who secretly put the coins in the bags of the boys who can't afford food.
He's the one who pays out of pocket for medicine for a sick boy.
He's the one who sells by the docks, not for the easy money, but to protect his boys from the violence there.
He may do it without anyone knowing, but he does it.
Spot Conlon never cries.
Except he does.
He cries when he sees a younger boy starving and he can't help.
He cries when he sees pain in somebody that did nothing to deserve it.
He cries at his frequent nightmares. About the past. About the future.
He cries in secret, but he cries.
Spot Conlon cares for nothin' an' nobody.
Except he does.
He cares for his boys.
He cares for his borough.
He cares for his rights, and the rights of others.
Spot Conlon has no scars.
Except he does.
All it takes is one look at the whip lashes from the Refuge on his back to see that.
One glance at the burns on his chest.
One peek at his past. At his mother. His father. The Refuge.
Spot Conlon never loses.
Except he does.
Little things, a game of poker, a bet on a horse.
Big things.
The fight against Snyder that got him locked up.
The invisible slingshot fight with the Delanceys to save Crutchie.
Spot Conlon feels no guilt.
Except he does.
He feels guilty of not saving Crutchie, even though he's not, really.
He feels guilty for not getting his sister out of the house when his mother was drunk.
He feels guilty for not saving his brother from his father's rampages.
Spot Conlon ain't human.
Except he is.
So I was walking, and thinking of Spot Conlon. What things make him human? What are his fears? What makes him cry? What visible scars does he have? What guilt does he have? And this was the result. I dunno. I should be working on my two other stories-in-progress but this had to be vomited onto the page.
