Prompt based on:
(213):
Please tell me you weren't the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
(201):
... and if I was...
(213):
Fuck. You.
Part of series where all one-shots are based on things from 'Texts From Last Night', because they are so inspiring, lol
Slight Jay/Roy, Red Hood and the Outlaws.
x-x-x-x-x-x-
It had admittedly been too long of a day back in Gotham.
He had just narrowly escaped getting pollen to the face courtesy of some dealer after he had taken out his lackeys and ditched a shattered helmet. Not cool, not cool at all, considering he was out of most antidotes for the shit the Gotham baddies were packing. (He made a mental note to have Tim concoct him more before their next info swap).
Damian, the little shit, had jumped him out of absolutely nowhere after he had put a bullet in aforementioned dealer's head, ultimately ending in the boy stabbing him in the thigh with an unnaturally sharp batarang that was more than likely modified. This had resulted in Bruce popping out of the shadows with a lecture for both of them before attempting to tend to his brat inflicted injury. He had kicked him hard in the shin before barrel rolling out of reach and booking it.
Then, instead of being able to camp out at one of his safe houses, he had just barely escaped getting blown to pieces upon finding out that the particular one he had chosen to visit had been compromised since his last visit several months back.
So in the end, after all of that chaos, while blood was still oozing down his leg, he had been forced to drag himself all the way back to the island all by his lonesome.
Which led to the situation at hand.
Jason stood in front of the fridge, staring blankly at the bottom shelf, eye twitching.
"Motherfucker…"
He took in a deep breath, in mock attempt at composing himself, before he limped down the halls in search of a neck to wring.
He found Roy lounging on one of the couches, watching some random action flick. The redhead didn't even look up as he approached, nor as his glare bore into the back of the man's cap-clad head.
"Harper!" He growled, stomping forward awkwardly, still favoring his injured leg.
Roy turned and looked up at him, playful smirk already in place as he looked him up and down, surveying his injuries.
"Hey. Wasn't expecting you back so soon. Rough night?"
Jason bit back a snarl, and crossed his arms over his chest as he clenched his jaw.
"Please tell me that you weren't the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with pictures of baby kittens."
Roy's smirk spread into a wide grin as he beamed up at him.
"…and if I was?"
Jason let the snarl loose.
"Fuck. You." He seethed, grabbing the collar of Roy's beat up t-shirt, and hoisting him up. "I come home after twenty-eight hours of hell, and all I want to do is get shitfaced, patch my fucking leg up, and relax! And I can't do that because you decided to be prick and confiscate my shit!"
Roy sighed, and shook his head sadly, patting him on the shoulder.
"Now, now Jason… no need to get all spazzy."
"Harper-"
"Nope, shh!" He chirped, placing a hand over Jason's mouth. "Let me explain first. See, you were gone, I was bored, Kori was off doing Kori-like things. So I was here all alone, getting mopey, thinking too much, and it was all starting to look soooo good... and that would be super bad for me, ya know?"
Jason's eyes narrowed and he sighed.
"Yeah, now get to the point."
"I asked Kori when she got back in to take it away and hide it. Out of sight, out of mind, right? So whenever she gets in, just ask for it."
Jason's face softened somewhat.
"And the kittens?"
"Well, not only was I attempting to keep track of how many beers you originally had in the fridge, but I figured that the fluffy cuteness might pacify you just enough to avoid you going on a raging rampage. Considering that you did not come in and put one of your guns to my head on first sight, I'd say I was successful." He laughed, brushing his bangs out of his face.
"You're an ass, you know that?" Jason huffed, shifting his weight.
"I've been told." He shrugged. "So… what happened to the leg?"
"Demon child."
"Mmm, I see. Want me to kiss it better?" The redhead chuckled, wagging his brows.
"Fuck off Roy…" he responded with a growl.
"That wasn't a no."
