it's lonely at the top.

Yuuri smiled at her fans, signing their proffered merchandise with a flourish and doing her best to block out the squeals and screams that came from young girls finally meeting their idol. The reason that she was being mobbed was her first place finish in the women's Grand Prix Final, but she wasn't feeling quite the same level of emotion as the others assembled here. The first time, yes, but now this was her third Grand Prix win in a row; the shock and sheer disbelief had faded, replaced by a quiet and jaded excitement. She was afraid that she was beginning to lose the spark that had catapulted her to the top in the first place, the earnestness combined with grace that set her apart from all the other technically qualified skaters. Yuuri admitted to herself that she wasn't the most technically perfect of skaters, and she might not be as solid on her jumps as some of them, but she knew that her gift to surprise others with a genuine routine that told a story was what people were after.

Out of the corner of her eye, she began to notice some fans leaving the crowd and making a beeline for the other door. She wondered who was coming out from there, and was unsurprised to see Victor Nikiforov. He had been the reigning men's champion for the last five Grand Prixs now. From his overly bright smiles and cheerful demeanor, it seemed to her that he was suffering from a similar cocktail of emotion to hers. The blond man had been in the spotlight for most of Yuuri's memory; she would deny it if she was asked, but her bedroom had been plastered with posters of him as a teen, and she hadn't exactly taken them down even though she had just turned 23. She blushed and looked away as he offered her a quick wink. Wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

She was grateful for his appearance, because they both attracted a similar fan base, teenage girls, and they began to flock to the heartthrob. The crowd around her thinned out, and Yuuri was finally able to make her escape into the car that management had waiting for her. She looked back at Victor and caught his eye, giving him a playful wink as she ducked into the back seat. Back at her hotel, she crawled into the bath, eager to relax her sore muscles. She ordered room service because she figured she deserved some kind of reward for her performance, but picked at it, barely eating a bite. It just couldn't compare to her mother's katsudon.

The morning of the celebrations dawned, and Yuuri wasn't sure what to do with her day. The big banquet didn't start until the evening, and she didn't really know the city well. She did what she always liked to do whenever she felt overwhelmed. Hailing a taxi, Yuuri asked to go to the nearest ice rink.

Without makeup and a costume and with her glasses, people rarely recognized her, which was how Yuuri preferred things to be. She arrived at the rink to find that it didn't open for free skate for another fifteen minutes; not many normal people were up and eager to skate at a quarter past six. Yuuri chuckled at that idea, because her rink time usually started at five in the morning. Even champions couldn't get too choosy.

The woman at the rink gave her a strange look as she opened the doors and allowed Yuuri inside, but soon returned to the desk. Yuuri sat down on the bleachers and laced up her skates, gliding onto the ice and relishing the feeling. She began stroking in slow circles around the ice, willing her muscles to warm up and relaxed. She winced as she moved; today would be a day without practice, just some fun skating. Something just for her instead of for the crowds.

After a few minutes, she had an idea, and popped on some skate guards before heading over to the office. She asked if she could plug in her phone and play some music. The other woman nodded yes, and so Yuuri hit play before returning to the ice.

She assumed position on the center of the rink as the first bars of "Stammi Vicino" began to play. She had loved the song (and the accompanying routine) ever since Victor had begun using it this season, and had watched it so obsessively on YouTube that she had a pretty strong grasp of it. After practicing it when she had some time by herself, she felt that she could do a pretty good rendition of it, and she absolutely loved the way it made her feel. Victor had a very strong story behind the choreography. When the soprano entered, she always imagined skating with someone else. It would be a great song for a pair of skaters as well.

Yuuri didn't try to strain her body, turning Victor's quads into triples and even doubles. She let herself relax into the choreography, moving gently with the music and tuning out everything else. So much so that she didn't notice that the woman from the front had perked up when she heard the first strains of Stammi Vicino and came running in, just in time to capture the whole thing on video.

Unaware of anything else happening, Yuuri was perfectly relaxed and at peace, doing her best to show the love and longing that the song projected. The music slowed to a stop and she assumed the ending pose, breathing heavily. She was snapped out of her reverie by the next song on her phone, pop music that blared loudly in contrast to the soft strains of the Italian.

She continued to skate, messing around with easy combinations she hadn't done in a long time. It had been far too long since Yuuri had done something that wasn't choreographed in advance, and it was freeing to play around again like she had done with Yuuko as a child at Ice Castle Hasetsu. Maybe she would have to return home and see if it was anything like she remembered it to be.

She saw a few people who were now entering the rink, and she checked her watch to see that almost an hour had gone by. Yuuri decided that now was as good a time as any to leave, especially since she didn't feel much like dealing with other people. So she exited the rink and slipped her skates off, putting them carefully in her bag before walking out of the building.

Back at the hotel, Yuuri amused herself by going through all of Victor's old routines online, smiling as she saw his junior routines. He had been adorable then, but he was absolutely gorgeous now. Plus his skating had grown so much- she loved his current mature portrayal of emotions. After about an hour, she couldn't resist the urge any longer, and she clicked on her favorite video- you guessed it, Stammi Vicino. His rendition from yesterday was finally up, and she eagerly clicked on it. The competition schedule meant that Yuuri didn't have time to watch the men, instead practicing her own routine or getting mentally prepared to compete. She'd been wondering how Victor had done- obviously well, considering that he was the gold medalist, but how just how well?

She was floored by the end of the video, because Victor, as always, had surprised them all again. How did his motions become so much more refined between his last qualifying event and the finals? Yuuri didn't know, but she was grateful. She could watch him skate forever.

Her phone buzzed, and she was forced to pause the video so she didn't miss anything. It was probably Phichit, checking in about her performance yesterday. She had forgot to ask him how his day had gone. He had, excitingly, made the Grand Prix Final for the second year in a row, and had come in in fourth place. No medal this year, but still an amazing performance.

She opened his texts, and saw that he had sent her a link to something, which she quickly clicked on. When it finally loaded, she realized after a moment that she was staring at herself from this morning. The title boldly declared: "Yuuri Katsuki Skates Stammi Vicino". Apparently it was trending; it already had 100,000 views.

Once she had hit play, Yuuri couldn't look away though she dearly wanted to. She was surprised that it wasn't worse that it was, but there were so many errors, especially compared to the video she had just watched. Her moments were so glaringly different from Victor's, but she supposed that made sense because the song told a different story to her. In her mind, she was lonely and being found by someone, and finding love, not the one finding someone else.

In the back of her mind she wondered just who had even filmed this in the first place, but she reasoned that it was a free skate and so it wasn't as if people were forbidden to be in there.

She wasn't prepared for the reaction in the comments sections. There was a lot of gushing about her skating, which she didn't exactly agree with, but the vast majority of people seemed to want her and Victor to skate Stammi Vicino together. She wondered why; it wasn't as if they were pair skaters after all, but she figured that people who were fans of the both of them would want to see them both. Still, she mentally bemoaned her fate. Now it was going to take a lot longer for the fuss about her medal to die down this time around. She had hoped that the fact that this was becoming a regular feat would at least cause the media to lose some interest and leave her be. Yuuri had never been particularly good at handling crowds, or reporters, because both things usually involved some public speaking. And Yuuri did not mesh well with public speaking.

She wasn't quite sure what to do about all of this, so she texted Phichit back.

"Victor definitely knows I'm a fangirl now."

Her phone started buzzing again, but it wasn't her Thai friend. She looked at the number on the screen and smiled. With something this big, she had been expecting Angela to call her soon.

Yuuri hadn't been allowed to room with Phichit at school because the school thought that it would be inappropriate (never mind that Phichit was gay and so nothing would be going on between them anyways). So they had both been forced to find other roommates. Yuuri had found Angela, a marketing major and a fellow freshman. Angela had taken on managing Yuuri when Celestino had demanded she find someone to help her with her image after her first big win at the Rostelecom Cup. Her roommate started by viewing it all as a sort of side project, but it quickly became a part-time job. She was now officially Yuuri's manager, which she assured her friend she was only too happy to do, both because she was getting paid and because it was something very unique to put on a resumé a little later.

She picked up the phone and clung to it as if it was a lifeline. Which it was for her, because Angela always knew what Yuuri needed to do in times like these. Her friend was probably the only reason that Yuuri had managed to get this far without a breakdown, since she would not be able to have a good image and good performances without a whole lot of outside help.

"Angela!" Yuuri could have cried with relief.

"Hey Yuuri, I'm sure you know why I'm calling: the video from earlier. Ringing any bells?"
Yuuri nodded before realizing that she was on the phone and voiced her response.

"It's generating mostly positive press for both you and Victor. And because of this, well… I got a call from Victor's publicist earlier in the day, and he had a suggestion that I think would be a good move for you as well."

Yuuri waited for her friend to continue.

"Actually, I kind of already agreed to part of it for you, so don't be too mad. We thought that you and Victor should skate the duet that everyone is clamoring for."

Yuuri sat straight up, half-formed protests struggling to get out of her mouth. The one that eventually won out was, "But neither of us are even pair skaters!"

Angela laughed.

"Knew you'd say that. I figured that in the off season you could afford to take a little more time to do other things, and so we could get a good pairs coach to help the two of you. After all, it would only have to be the one routine. We don't have to make you into pair skaters."

Yuuri begrudgingly accepted this, because it's not as if she could get out of it. Not that she really wanted to get out of it. Spending some time with Victor was not exactly her idea of a bad time, except for her crush which made it hard for her not to freak out whenever he approached her. Hey, not everybody got to be in the same room as their idols. She'd like to see other people try to do better. But she wondered what Angela had been saying about this only being part of it. When she voice this, she was not expecting the response she got.

"Well, I agreed with Victor's management that the logical step after that would be a relationship between the two of you. Both of you are currently single, so there are no problems there, and we think that skating fans everyone would eat it up."

Yuuri sweat-dropped. Was this actually happening to her?

She stumbled through the rest of the conversation, only half-listening, hanging up as soon as she was able to. Almost as a reflex, she restarted her video, but Victor wasn't nearly as calming to watch when she knew that, soon, those perfect arms might be lifting her, and she might be staring right into those gorgeous blue eyes.