She's a powerhouse...she's had to be! Life has knocked her around and scarred her over and over again, but it has never been able to knock her out! She waded through the hardships, the childhood from hell, the disappointment from lost love, the scorn and derision from unworthy people...but life has finally turned her aches into bliss, and tempered her suffering with pure joy. She has the child who's her world, the family that's her rock, the man who's her partner, and the career that's her failsafe. Samantha Morgan is the PI who's got it all, and she'll fight any threat to her new, perfect world.
Characters belong to General Hospital and its creators.
Woman, thy name is strength!
Something was tickling her shoulder, soft and light as it brushed ever so close over and along the blade, moving slowly down her naked back. Sensations that stirred her mind and awakened her brain were soon identified as instigations of her man's lips as they danced across her skin, sending a warm desire through her body. Smiling through closed eyes, Sam murmured, "Mmmm…don't stop."
Jason kissed the light indentation down her back as he mumbled against her spine, "Never."
Allowing deft fingers to trace the path of his lips, he smiled when she started to turn over, only to look puzzled when she unexpectedly bolted from the bed and raced to the bathroom, the sounds of her tossing her stomach reaching his ear and causing instant concern, prompting him to follow immediately to enquire after her. Reaching down to gather and sweep her hair back from her face where she was crouched over the porcelain throne, Jason started to soothe.
"It's okay…"
Eventually the storm subsided and Sam eased back on bended knees to sit on her heels, lifting her head as the nausea waned, giving her the chance to breathe easy again. It had appeared out of nowhere, had almost overtaken her before she got to the bowl. She listened to the soft tone of his voice and closed her eyes to the relaxing strokes of his hand on her back. Then taking a deep breath, she slowly rose to her feet as he held her by the arms to help her stand.
"I'm fine, baby." She washed her mouth at the sink and reached for her toothbrush.
"Was it something you ate?" He didn't like how pale she appeared.
Sam smiled, loving how his logical mind worked - there was an explanation for her getting sick - everything had an explanation. She brushed as she shook her head slowly, watching in the mirror as he looked upon her with unconvinced concern.
"I'm fine now," she mumbled through toothpaste foam, noting that he merely sat atop the flushed throne, watching her keenly.
She had her suspicion, she'd formed it the night before when she realized that she'd missed her period, but then she'd kinda chalked that down to stress - there was so much going on around her of late. Not to mention she wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant again without the aide of In Vitro treatments, according to her doctors.
Now that she'd gotten sick to her stomach on top of missing her monthly, she had a hunch that first instinct had been accurate, but she wasn't ready to share it when she could be wrong…not to mention, she wasn't sure how he'd accept the news if it were true. No, she was going to make quite certain there was something to tell before she opened that can of worms.
The chance to find out for sure came later that morning after Jason and Danny left to have breakfast with Monica. Sam ducked out of the invitation under the pretense that she had to work. She really had a case in the works, but following up leads would have to wait until she ran a very personal errand first.
When she left the drugstore with her clandestine package in hand, she headed to her best friend's apartment, not wanting to be alone when she found out, whatever the outcome. Picking up the phone Sam dialed the number and waited for her to answer.
"Hey!" was her sleepy greeting.
"Maxie, you have to wake up! I know, I know - running a magazine is hard work and you never get to sleep in, but I have to come over."
Her statement woke Maxie up fully. "Why do you sound panicked - what's wrong?" She was instantly concerned for her friend.
"I'll tell you when I get there - are you alone?"
"Yeah, Nathan went in already. Oh, my God, Sam - is it Danny? Is he sick?"
"No, it's nothing like that. I'm almost there - I'll see you in two minutes."
She knew she had worried her friend but she couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud, realizing as she hung up the phone that she didn't want to run the risk of jinxing it.
Oh, my God, Sam thought…I want it to be true! One hand found its way up to cover her mouth when she realized that she desperately hoped she was pregnant again. Another baby with Jason would be her ideal dream come true. She wanted it badly!
She pulled up to Maxie's apartment and sat in the car for another ten minutes, picturing her beautiful what if with her husband, their golden boy, and a new little princess to dote over. Please, God…it would be so perfect!
Maxie was pacing in front of her door when Sam got off the elevator, her hands folded across her pink robe and matching shortie pajamas as she glared in Sam's direction. Unfolding her hands she rushed towards her friend, grabbing and pulling her towards the door.
"What the heck took you so long? You were just down the street when you called!" Before Sam could answer she had pushed her inside the front door and slammed it shut, spinning Sam around to face her. "What is it, what's wrong? You said Danny's fine - is it you? Are you sick?"
Sam started to answer, "Well…" but Maxie cut her off.
"Oh, my God - you are, aren't you? Oh, my God, Sam!" She threw her arms around Sam and squeezed her tightly.
Sam could barely breathe out, "Maxie, I'm fine, everybody's fine!"
The death grip finally eased as Maxie let the words sink in. "Then what is it?"
Sam held out the paperbag, not trusting herself to say the words out loud. Looking at her curiously, Maxie took it from her hand and peered inside, her mouth falling open in the next instant and her eyes bulging wide at the sight of the only three items that it held.
"Are you?"
"That's what we're about to find out," Sam answered nervously. She wiped sweaty palms against her jeans just before Maxie grabbed one hand to drag her down the hallway and into the bathroom. She emptied the paperbag on the counter and lined the three different tests up side by side, taking a deep breath when she picked up the first.
"Okay, here goes!" Tearing the box open she handed the stick to Sam and nudged her head towards the toilet, before folding her hands and biting a fingernail as she started to pace.
"Ah, Maxie?" Sam watched her turn to face her, "I don't need help with this part." When she looked at her curiously, Sam continued, "I think I can pee alone babes."
"Okay, fine! But hurry up, Sam - the pressure is killing me already!"
"You? Imagine how I feel!"
A few minutes later all three sticks laid on the counter, Sam's phone next to them with the timer on display. A rapid knock at the door relayed the anxiety on the other side.
"Dammit, Sam how long does it take to pee?"
Throwing the door open, Sam went back to pacing as her friend reentered the bathroom, joining in the pacing after she took one look at the items on the counter. As they were about to pass each other in the middle of the room for the tenth time, Maxie stopped to find out where her friend's head was.
"Do you want to be?"
Sam stopped pacing, tilted her head demurely and looked at her friend, nodding slowly in response. "But we haven't talked about having another kid…I don't know what Jason wants."
"He's always wanted a family with you, Sam - you know that. Everybody knows that."
"Yes, but that was a long time ago. So much has changed in our lives, Maxie…he's a different person now."
"Not so different. He's still infuriating and annoying." She tugged at Sam's sleeve, "But he loves you! And he loves Danny to pieces - I've seen it!"
"I know, but we're still just getting to know each other again. We don't even live together anymore."
"That's bullshit and you know it! You know him, Sam! The divorce was your stupid idea and I bet that man's just waiting patiently for you to ask him to move back in. You spend practically all your time together anyway, so I don't know what you're waiting for."
Sam smiled to herself when she realized her friend was right. The three of them were practically glued at the hips, spending almost all their time between the penthouse and Jason's new loft. Still, loving the child they already have together didn't guarantee that he wanted more. It made her nervous to find out his reaction, but she really hoped that in three minutes she'd have a reason to.
"But that's about, Jason…what do you want?" Maxie always had a way of cutting through Sam's jumbles to remind her to think about herself too.
"I want all of it - I want his little blond haired, blue eyed babies and the home, I want my career…and I want Jason!" She didn't even have to think about it.
"You have that, Sam."
"He spent a lot of time living a very different life with a woman who's completely unlike me, getting used to meatloaf and somebody who didn't challenge him all the time - I'm not so sure that's not what he needs to make him happy now."
Suddenly her nerves weren't all asunder with just baby worries anymore…they had a whole new road map to run amok. "I used to know my Jason, know everything about him and know that I was enough…but now…what if this becomes too overwhelming for him, Maxie? What if he decides he wants out?"
She couldn't stop the sudden rush of panic that formed in the pit of her stomach, and even though logic told her she was being highly irrational, she couldn't make the rest of her follow suit.
"Come on, Sam! You know Jason better than that - he's impossible and I don't know how you put up with him - I mean, the man's a block of ice - he doesn't talk, he doesn't smile…but he would never leave you and he would never leave his kids." She broke out in a huge smile. "Did you hear that? Kids - plural…you and Jason are gonna have kids!"
The next second Maxie was stomping her feet in glee as she locked Sam in another bear hold, just before the timer went off. Easing out of the hug, both friends stared at each other, then turned their heads slowly to stare at the counter, neither moving immediately.
"Okay, Sam…this is it!" Maxie walked over and picked up the first test, only to belt out an ear piercing squeal as Sam moved to stand next to her at the sink. "OhMyGod, OhMyGod, OhMyGod!"
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Sam knocked on the door of the lakehouse and waited, turning to look around her at the early signs of fall. The air was cooler and there was a slight breeze that rustled the trees that enhanced the peaceful surroundings, but she felt the charge in the air even before her mother answered the door. Turning to the opening front door, one look at Alexis and Sam knew she'd been drinking. It was early afternoon and already her mom's eyes appeared glossed over and her movements jerky as she responded to Sam's hug.
"Hi, my sweet girl. Come, come in!"
"Hi, Mom!" Sam walked ahead of her into the living room and waited for Alexis to close the door before asking, "Are you alright?"
Alexis shoved her hands through her hair and walked over to the mantle as she replied, "As alright as one can be when her husband holds a knife to her throat and threaten to murder her to save himself."
Sam sighed as the statement confirmed her first suspicions - her mom was home wallowing in booze and bad memories. She was showing the signs of heading straight into alcoholism and Sam wasn't about to let that happen.
"Mom, come - come sit by me." She sat on the couch and patted the seat next to her, then held her hand out as her mom walked over and took it, sitting down where she indicated.
"Talk to me - what's going on with you?"
When she hesitated, Sam prodded, "I know that you're going through a lot right now…I know that your world got thrown into a tailspin you didn't see it coming and you are hurting deeply, but I need you to know that you can talk to me, Mom." Sam squeezed her hand firmly as it laid clasped in hers on the sofa between them, "I'm right here!"
Alexis patted their joined hands and tried to smile at her daughter, managing only a pained grimace in the process. "I know my sweet, I know, but there's nothing you can do." She stood up again, obviously restless and on edge as she walked over to the back window and stared out at the yard. "Your father tried to kill me, there's nothing anyone can do about that."
Her words pained Sam to the heart, taking her again to that place where she wanted to strangle Julian with her very hands. She hated him for what he did to her mother, for taking her to this dark, lonely, miserable corner where she now resided and refused to let anyone help her. Sam remembered when she'd sunk to a similar low after Jason's betrayal, and the last thing she wants is for her mother to feel that pain, but she knows that they can neither feel it for her nor take it from her. Julian did this, and there was no undoing it…but they had to fight to help her through it.
Moving to stand next to her as they both looked out at the back yard, Sam looped her arm through her mother's and rested her head on them. "I know we can't undo it Mom, but I can't let you sit here all day and drink yourself into a coma. That's not helping anything. It will momentarily numb the pain between bottles but it solves nothing…and in the meantime you're missing out on your life, your children, your grandchildren…everything you've built for yourself." Sam turned her mother to face her, seeing the tears welling in her mother's eyes, flying open her own floodgate. "You still have a life outside of Julian! He was a lot, but he was not all!"
Alexis grabbed her daughter in a mighty hug as they both stood there crying into each other, Sam for the weakened state her father left her strong mother in, Alexis for the weakened state she can't seem to pull out of. They stayed that way for a long time, mother and daughter swapping strength and courage between them as they rocked each other.
Sam reminded her, "You are Alexis Davis, Attorney At Law…and even though you can't practice right now you are strong, and resilient, and remarkable! You get knocked down but you don't stay there - you fight, and when you get tired of fighting, tap me in - I will finish it for you, you hear me?"
Alexis released her hold on her daughter and stared into her strong, unyielding eyes, shaking her head as she clasped Sam's face between her hands and sniffled.
"You are remarkable! How did you get so strong?"
Sam smiled through her tears and chuckled, "Are you kidding - have you met my mother? She's the definition of strength - that's where I get it from!"
Alexis threw he arm around her shoulder and led them back to the center of the room, stopping to turn her so she could see her face, "Wait a minute - grandchildren? Who's pregnant?" Panic crept into her voice as she shrieked, "TJ got my baby pregnant? Why didn't anybody tell me?"
Sam was taken aback at first, not even realizing that she'd made the innocent slip, then hearing her mother's assumption, she leapt to clear Molly. "Molly? No, no - Molly isn't pregnant - at least I hope not!" She whispered the last part, hoping Alexis missed it.
"Kristina's not seeing anybody - she's still trying to figure out who she wants, so that leaves…" she covered her mouth as her eyes bugged out at her eldest daughter, "Sam, you're pregnant again?"
Startled at her leap to the truth, Sam was about to try and deny it but then thought better of it. She wanted to tell Jason before anyone else but her mother wasn't just anyone, and she could use some good news. The tears were back filling her eyes again when she nodded vigorously and burst out into a sporadic sob, "Yes, Mom - I am!" She couldn't stop the full onslaught of happy tears as they burst from her in glee - it felt good to share the news with her mother.
Clasping her into another smother, Alexis leaned her head down ontop of her daughter's and rocked her slightly, "Oh, Sam that's wonderful, wonderful news! Just wonderful!"
Her mother's acceptance seemed to open the dam even wider, rendering Sam unable to leash the tears that flowed in abundance. She hugged her mom tightly around the waist and the two remained locked together for awhile, until the sound of jiggling keys and the opening door made them turn to face the newcomer.
Sam practically leapt from her mother's arms as she sprang towards her father who had the audacity to walk right into her mother's home like he still belonged there.
"Huh, huh! Like hell - just who the hell do you think you are, walking up in here like that?"
Julian was surprised - he was not expecting Sam to be there and an obviously pissed off Sam, was not a pleasant experience.
"This is still my house, Sam. I'm here to see my wife."
"Are you insane? What am I asking, of course you're crazy as hell! You held a knife to my mother's throat - the knife that was used to kill her mother - and you think you're going to torture her further by just walking into her home whenever you feel like it?"
Julian looked uncomfortable as he switched the keys between nervous hands. He wanted to talk to Alexis, he knew he could make her listen to his pleas when they were alone together, he knew the hold he had on her heart was still there. But his angry daughter was not one he was prepared to contend with.
"Look, Sam I'm sorry, okay. I wasn't thinking when I…look, I would never hurt your mother, I love her too much. I could never really do it." He looked to Alexis as he relayed the words he hoped would get through to her, make her see reason and give them the chance to work things out.
Alexis hadn't moved from the spot she'd been when he walked in. She couldn't believe he was there after what he did. She couldn't believe how calm and rational he looked, like what he did could be easily explained away and just as easily forgiven. She wanted to yell at him, throw things at his head, but she was transfixed, numb, and beleaguered…and Sam was taking care of the yelling.
"You slimy, cowardly, pompous son-of-a-bitch, get out! Get out now…and if you come near my mother again I'll kill you my damn self!"
Julian knew he had no choice, he wouldn't get to talk to Alexis as long as Sam was there - she'd never let him anywhere near her. It was one of the things he admired about his strong daughter - she fought for the people she loved - protected them like a vicious pitbull - but in the moment it was something he hated about her too. He watched as she broke her phone out and dialed a number before going back to stare daggers at his skull as she waited for the call to connect.
"You don't need to call Jason, Sam - I'll leave. Alexis, we need to talk - I'll come back when you can hear me out." He heard his daughter's next words and shook his head at her take charge attitude.
"Hey, it's Sam. Are you busy? No, good - can you come by my mother's lakehouse right now? She's got the worse kind of vermin and I need you to change out every lock in her house. Okay, thanks."
"This has nothing to do with you, Sam - you really shouldn't interfere."
She walked up to him, the fiery anger burning her brown eyes as she spat, "There's nothing here for you, Julian - so you turn around and leave or I'll get Jason to make you leave!" She would do it herself but she had to think about her new condition - no heavy lifting for awhile.
Looking from one still woman to the angry, fired up one, Julian gave them a weak smile then turned to leave, stopping at the door to look at them again. "I love you - both of you!"
He ducked out quickly the minute Sam grabbed a nearby vase and tossed it at his head, listening to it shatter as he pulled the door shut just in time for it to miss its target. He didn't get what he came for, not with pitbull Sam on the case, but he couldn't help but be pleased that they had each other.
Sam turned to look at Alexis who had taken a seat on the couch when her trembling legs gave out. She walked over and sat next to her, taking her hand in hers and squeezing it tight.
"You can do this, Mom. You're stronger than Julian, you know that. Please try to remember who you are…you can get through this - and you don't need a bottle to do it. Please tell me you know that?"
They had a good cry together, during which Alexis unburdened a lot of the pain and torment that was scarring her heart. She'd been wallowing in self pity and remorse all by her lonesome, had given herself the avenue to commiserate with booze as her only companion, but today her tough, extraordinary daughter reminded her that she had another way of dealing with life's bitch slaps. She needed to practice what she's always preached to her girls - she needed to reach once again for her inner strength and make herself whole again.
Soon they were cried out and talked out, and as Sam knelt by the door to clean up the pieces of shattered clay and the locksmith was moving through rooms securing her home, Alexis went over to the cabinet and pulled out a sealed brown envelope. She turned it over in her hands and smiled slyly to herself before turning back to her daughter.
"Sam, can you do me a favor and give this to Jason?"
Sam looked curiously at the envelope as she took it from her mother, "What's this?"
Alexis sat back on the couch and smiled, "Just something he's expecting."
Sam's eyes rose curiously, "Diane is Jason's lawyer, how come he has you doing paperwork for him?"
"I'm not a practicing attorney anymore, remember?" She couldn't help the lump that formed in her throat every time she said that out loud. She had given almost all of herself to Julian Jerome, including a career that she had spent years honing and loving. That would always hurt.
Sam didn't miss the pain behind the words. "No, but that won't be for always. You're going to ride out this suspension, keeping yourself busy while you do, and when the time comes you will wow that review board with how devastatingly smart and capable you are, and they will have no choice but to reinstate you!"
Alexis smiled at her daughters's confidence in her, and it helped tremendously to know that she had them in her corner. She knew she had a hard road ahead but she was a fighter who never went down in battle - she sure as hell wasn't about to lose this one when she had so much to gain. She reached out and stroked her new grandbaby softly, drawing energy from the prospect of new life.
