Chapter 1: In which Carina wakes up at a normal time and makes a decision.
"I love you, my dear," murmured the ginger-haired woman, tears welling up in her eyes.
The man in question was facing her, his visage hidden. He gently approached and kissed the woman. Yet after merely a moment, he broke away.
"I must go," he whispered, so softly that the woman could hardly hear it.
"No," she whimpered. Her composure finally broke, tears finally spilling out like tiny shards of glass.
"No!"
But it was too late, the dark stranger was already fading.
Thunk! Thunk!
Thunk!
I opened one eye and looked up. The clock read 8 AM – my alarm couldn't have gone off yet. Then what was causing that ruckus?
Thunk!
Rubbing both eyes, I sat up with a yawn. I'd stayed up until 3 AM talking to Annette through our two-way mirror, and I was determined to get at least another hour of sleep. I slowly turned my head around to face the mirror. Sure enough –
Thunk!
-there was an owl trying to get in. Blimey, just why did wizarding mail have to come so early in the morning? Muggles usually got theirs at a respectable morning time like noon – why couldn't we learn from them? Groaning, I pushed myself up and shuffled to the window. I grabbed the mail and paid the owl a few Knuts then sent it away. Unfortunately for me, the owl screeched with joy before it sped off, destroying any hope I had of sleeping in on this fine Saturday morning.
Since I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep after that horrible noise, I sorted through the mail: Mum's potions catalog, a photo of some bloke named Gilderoy Lockhart – probably Dad's, bills, The Daily Prophet, more bills, and…a letter for me.
Strange, I hadn't been expecting anything. I flipped it over – there was no return address or name. Just a beautiful crest seal of all the colors of the rainbow, embellished with gold and silver on the sides. No, wait a minute, there were words on it – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Oh no.
"Mum!" I yelled. Oh, she was going to have it. I ran to her bedroom and pounded on the door.
"MUM!"
"What is it, dear?" asked a soft voice behind me. My mother, ever the morning person, was already in her clothes for her day, her curly red hair pulled back into a French braid. "You're not usually up this time of day on the weekends."
"Mum, look at this!" I shoved the Hogwarts letter into her hands. Her face immediately brightened, to my annoyance.
"You got in! Dearest, I knew you would," she smiled. I scowled at her. I had finished five years at Beauxbatons Academy this past spring, and I hoped to stay there for my last two years of schooling. Unfortunately, my parents – especially my mother – even though they were the ones who pushed me to start at Beauxbatons, had been encouraging my transfer to Hogwarts this year. The war was over, they said, so it was finally safe to let me stay in England. And why not send their dearest daughter off to the beloved magic school of their past?
"You want me to throw away my friends here on a whim? You want me to leave Annette? You want me to abandon the place at Beauxbatons that I worked so hard to earn as a British girl and start over – from scratch?" I glowered at her for a moment. Mum's face was a mixture of worry and sadness, but mostly shock.
Seeing her startled expression, I gasped. Outbursts like this were rare from me, and I absolutely didn't realize how loud I'd gotten. I swallowed the saliva that had gathered in my mouth and unclenched my fists.
"Sorry, Mum, I didn't mean to yell," I muttered. But the scowl was still on my face. "It's just that I hate you forcing this on me."
Mum just stared at me for a moment. Her face was blank, but I thought – hoped – she was trying to read my face, to understand me. Then, with a quiet murmur, she finally spoke.
"You don't have to go," she calmly assured me. "I'm not trying to force you." My shoulders relaxed, and only now did I realize how tense my entire body had been.
"But," she continued, and I immediately frowned. "But, this school was the home of myself and your father for seven years."
Oh man. No
My father.
My father.
Not Dad – not Lloyd Greengrass – but my biological father, the one who won the heart of Eliza Prewett at seventeen. The man my mother loved, or rather, still loves.
I knew from an early age that I was no progeny of the Greengrasses. With Eliza Prewett's strawberry blonde hair and Lloyd Greengrass's light brown, there was no way any of their children could have hair darker than coffee. And when I grew up a bit, I noticed Dad's extreme gayness, and it was clear as day that my biological father was someone else.
A great man, if I were to believe Mum. Died in the war, killed by Voldemort himself. Dead, at eighteen, leaving his pregnant teen girlfriend alone in the midst of chaos.
But that was all I knew about him. I had tried to press Mum about him a few times in my life, but the response was either a flood of tears or a speech about how my true parentage was dangerous. I still didn't understand anything, but maybe now I had a chance to try.
"You mean-" I started carefully, "you mean that if I go there, I'll find out more about my real father?"
She nodded. "Bits and pieces," she said. "I can connect them for you when it's time," she added, dangling a wisp of silver from her head with her wand.
I swallowed.
"I'll think about it," I promised her. "But first, I'm going to see Annette."
– ∞ –
"So you're leaving me?" Annette sighed, head on my lap, my fingers massaging her head and running through her long blond hair. I had told her the news as soon as I Floo'd in.
"I don't have to," I reassured her softly. "I really don't." But to this, she yanked her head out of my lap and sat up straight.
"No! Don't say that," she exclaimed, her blue eyes awake and shining. She grabbed my hand in both of her own. "You have to find out," she added more quietly, but not with less intensity. "I would never, ever want to hold you back from this."
Now, this wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting. I had thought that she would be upset or angry at this opportunity, and that some part of her would tell me to stay, but never did I think that she would encourage me to transfer.
"I don't understand – why are you so eager to get rid of me?" I replied, half-jokingly. Noticing the quiver in my voice, she kissed me gently in reply, cupping my face in her delicate hands. I deepened the kiss, running my hands through her hair, slowly trailing them downwards. But when I got to her shoulders, Annette broke off the kiss and swiftly pulled away.
"Carina Greengrass," she moaned softly. "No, not Carina Greengrass," she corrected in a more assertive tone, "and that's the whole point, isn't it? All your life you've been told that your biological father is someone important and dangerous and that Seigneur de Mort would murder you on the spot if he knew your parentage. But now he's dead and gone, and there's nothing stopping you from finding out who is this important hero."
"But my mother—" I started, but she wasn't done.
"Your mother won't tell you about him, you said. She'll answer questions, but she wants you to discover him on your own," she reasoned. "This is your chance! So go after it!"
I sighed. Annette had always been the voice of reason in our relationship, so if she was telling me with all her heart to go do this, then maybe it was the right choice. And I had a nagging feeling that if I didn't go, I would regret it forever, and I would resent Annette for it. Unfairly, maybe, but that would be pretty toxic.
And if I did go, what would happen to us? We had a two-way mirror that would connect us whenever we wanted.
But still, it wouldn't be easy.
"I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too," she reciprocated with a small smile, for she could see that I had made my choice.
