Authors Notes: This little piece has been bothering me ever since my little brother got me addicted to 'Heavy Gear'. Which was sometime last year I think. Its taken me forever to try and work out how I wanted to write this but I finally got it.
So here we go. A little piece of Wallis if you will. Er, regarding the timeline... Umm... Yeah, that's when it happened. :) And if you figure it to whom he is referring to then kudos to you and hey while you're at it, take the weapon of mass destruction of your own choice.
Feel free to send all forms of abuse to hellcat_blackpanther@hotmail.com or do it live through MSN messenger or AOL under the name of hellcatseth.
Thanks: Georgina for being a sweetheart for beta-ing, Evatenshi for saying I write emotions really well and in general - just being adorable. Cabby-Cat... Well y'know. ;) And ThreeOranges. I promise I'll play with Watson and finish him off (in more ways than one) soon.
Disclaimer: It doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'm sure my student loan would be a great deal smaller than it is.

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She's fallen through your fingers again. That tempting little vixen that walked away from you in a single heartbeat, just so she could appease her needs with another. Fickle in her loving ways. She promised you so much in life, and in one moment she was gone. She turned her back on you for a younger. And as much as you try - cursing her name when the lights go out at night - you still can't forget the way she felt in your arms and more importantly how gloriously she tasted.

You sigh now as your thoughts turn to poison once more. You take another sip of your drink to try and soothe your frazzled nerves as you watched him and her together today. That vile Shadow Dragon and your beautiful lady. Clinched together in a loving embrace. It's no wonder she fell for him. You have so many more years on her. Why would she want an aged man like you when she could have the young blood of the latest talent to walk these tournaments?

It's funny how it goes isn't it, you ponder to yourself and set aside the now tasteless drink. All she wants is the latest "pretty" thing to play the games. And as they grow older, she leeches life from them and moves back through her many years to take the next young life that walks her path. You have firsthand experience with that don't you, you fool - you think to yourself. Amusing how she was supposed to be your plaything, when in fact it turned out that you were the one being toyed with as a temporary replacement for her last love.

You snort as you remember how foolish you were when you first caught her. You thought you could keep her on a tight rein. You stand now, and glance out over the arena were you lost her once again.

It's funny how after so many years you've finally come to the realisation that, yes. She is a free spirit and yes. Chaining her to yourself as you did, was a very bad idea.

Your thoughts turn to the boy who has her now. He's arrogant like you were and still are. Inevitably she will wander away when she tires of him. She isn't bored yet though. She is merely amusing herself at the moment.

You pause for a moment in your musing as you see the twinkling lights flicker off and then back on. You wonder exactly what is happening over the other side of the large complex. No doubt it has something to do with your loyal comrades. Probably trying to talk her back into your arms in the only way that they know how.

It pleases you to know that they care that much.

You smile and then your thoughts stray back to the child that plays in the mans world. You wonder what his reaction will be when she leaves him for the next handsome face that dares to grace pathways of the greats. You wonder if his mind will turn and dance the same dark hallways that your own does. You wonder if his fall will have more grace than your own. It would be a sad sight to see the little Dragon on his knees begging for her return. Pleading for her to take him back, crying out for her forgiveness, then finally watching him turn into someone entirely different. A bitter, twisted and cynical man - too old before his time - who wonders what it was that he did to her that was so bad that made her forsake him.

Someone not unlike yourself.

You think about warning the boy. You think about telling him that the friends that he has now will walk away from him as the temper tantrums become too great for them to handle. You think about telling him that as his descent into the ranks of the unknown increases in pace, that he'll discover that he'll do just about anything to get her back. He'll lie for her, steal for her and cheat for her. Eventually he'll sell himself for her.

Just like you did not long ago.

You'd try to reassure him but do you honestly believe that your good intentions would be welcomed? Not likely, you think as you wander back to the glass you left alone only to pick it up and look at it before setting it down again. He'll learn. Like you did. He won't like the lessons she has to provide. Nobody ever does. You wonder if he'll seek you out, berate you perhaps. Demand to know why he wasn't informed of her nature.

What would you call it you wonder. The curse of the games? It sounds right, you think to yourself, but it is missing that little something though. That little spark which will leave him broken but ready to return to the world as a new man. That's something you'll never be, that's for sure. You gave up the chance for redemption when you gave into the other bane of your existence.

Your eyes turn fondly back to the lonely drink. Its a sad little life that you lead now. A second rate player in a professionals game. Is it an wonder that you gave up though? You've contemplated this before but you've never been able to answer that, have you now? Then again, lately all you've been concerned about has been with getting her back. You've done it all now and finally you realise you really have to get out. Give it up before you get eaten completely by all the anger that twists your innards.

Liar, you say aloud for no-one but the stone walls to hear.

She's in your blood and the game won't be over until you're dead. Hopefully by then you will have got her back. If you're lucky, if not at least you died trying. Because ultimately this is what its all about. Being the best and having her by your side to show off to the rest of the world. To prove to them that you aren't the deranged maniac that they think you are. To prove that age doesn't matter. To prove to yourself that you aren't the washed up hack that you think you are.

You are a man aren't you? - not a shell.

Out of the corner of your eye you see a reflection of yourself in the window. Absently you stroke the face of the image before you. You notice how you look more haggard than usual and you wonder what really is going on. Perhaps it is time that you went to for that medical check-up that the rest of them keep suggesting. You've already heard the whispered rumors. They think you're mad, and they're probably right. Its not like you haven't done anything to dispel the idea lately, have you?

You're nothing but a sad little man living in his own personal well of torment and self-destruction. You aren't glory personified anymore. That privilege you left behind that day she walked away from you on the battlefield, without a word of goodbye. Isn't that what hurts you the most? That she didn't say anything to you that fateful day? Honestly though, what were you expecting?

"Sorry Major, its been fun but..."

That's what you needed though. If you had closure then perhaps you wouldn't be standing here still. You could have gone with grace. You could have waltzed, instead you play this fools game. Like a puppet on a string you act for the people, attempt to please them and finally you try to win for them to restore their faith in you. Its all about you and your lack of control.

You can't really blame her for that though can you?

You often wonder about who this really is about. Its not about her anymore is it? Its not about the little boy that is keeping her neatly clipped under his thumb is it? Maybe its about you.

Your already abused knuckles suffer even further as you punch the window pane that can't be broken. Its so frustrating now that nothing goes your way.

Not caring if anyone can hear you, you damn her for all that its worth. Its easier to blame her rather than yourself isn't it you coward?

You grit your teeth and you take it like the man you are. Another step and another battle to wage. There's a good chance you could win this time. If the rest of your team are naive to believe it, then why shouldn't you? The longer you keep up the facade then the shorter the time it will take to get her back.

C'mon Major, you think, a little lie never really killed anyone.