DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE FIFTY SHADES TRILOGY AND ITS CHARACTERS
Hello, this is the first fanfiction I wrote. English is not my native language, so I apologize for the mistakes. I'm looking for a beta. If someone is interested, leave me an MP. I will try to not make you wait too much between chapters. I hope you will like this story. Tell me what you think.
Thanks to my beta Frazilia for her work.
Chapter 1
Ana POV
I was sitting behind the desk that my boss had assigned me to at his house in Aspen. I finished typing the minutes of the conference about the renewable energy that Mr. Grey attended this morning, as well as the various appointments he had this afternoon. I checked the documents one last time and printed them.
As the pages came out one by one from the printer, I got up and walked towards the window. I glanced outside. The snowflakes were falling heavily and a thick layer of about 5 inches had formed on the ground. We had learned this afternoon that a blizzard was heading at the end of the day toward Aspen. Initially, it was scheduled for several days later but it was arriving earlier. We were supposed to return to Seattle the next morning but because of this unexpected blizzard, we were forced to delay our return.
As I went back to my office, I saw Mr. Grey enter.
"There will be only the two of us tonight. The roads are closed and will not be reopened before one or two days. Taylor can't come back here and has to stay at the hotel" he said, sitting down at his desk.
When the blizzard was announced, he had asked Taylor, his CPO, to take Mrs. Bentley, the woman who looks after the house, back to her home so she could be with her family.
I retrieved the documents from the printer, sorted and stapled them. I got up and walked to his desk.
"Here are the minutes of the conference and of your appointments of the day," I said, handing him the papers. "Do you need me for anything else, sir?"
"That will be all for today. From now on, you are off duty, Anastasia. Enjoy it" he replied impassively.
"Thank you, sir. Do you want me to prepare dinner for tonight?"
"Mrs. Bentley must have left us some prepared meals in the fridge."
"Alright, sir" I replied before leaving the room in silence.
I went upstairs to my room. I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, sighing. Being stuck in this house for several days, alone with Christian Grey, bothered me.
I had been working for him for two years as an assistant. After graduating from Washington State University, I applied for a job offer as an executive assistant at the Grey Enterprise Holding. The position was to be filled immediately, as Mr. Grey urgently needed an assistant, the last one having resigned a week earlier. I had had several interviews with Ros Bailey, Christian Grey's second in command. She warned me that the job would not be easy because of Mr. Grey's temperament. She had informed me that he was very demanding, hard and cold but if I did a good job then everything would go well.
During my first week at GEH, I realized she had not lied to me: my boss was exactly as she described him to me, and even worse. He was unsympathetic, uncompromising, and tolerated no mistake. His mood swings were also a big problem. I never knew how to act around him because I never knew in which mood he would be in. He could be nice and polite for a minute, and the next moment he would be cold and barking orders. He was also a control freak.
Several times, I had wanted to resign because of his behavior but every time, I had reconsidered my resignation. I liked my work, the salary was really generous, and despite his attitude, I knew that my work satisfied Mr. Grey.
He was not a demonstrative person. He was cold, always had an impassive face, even with his family. The only time I had seen a little warmth with someone was when his grandmother had visited him at GEH. I wondered what had happened to him for him to be like that.
I called Kate, my best friend, and my roommate, to inform her of the situation. Then I got up and left my room to go to the bathroom. I filled the tub with water then I undressed and tied my hair into a bun.
I slipped into the bubble bath and lay down against the ledge, groaning. The hot water was exquisite and relaxing. I could already feel my muscles relax. Having no bathtub at home, I was determined to take advantage of this one. I closed my eyes and savored this moment of pleasure.
When I opened my eyes, half an hour had passed. I washed myself, rinsed out quickly and then got out of the tub. I dried, wrapped a towel around my body and got out of the bathroom.
I was surprised to see Mr. Grey in the corridor. I thought he would still be in his office.
Christian POV
I had knocked at the door of Anastasia's room and had no answer. I saw her come out of the bathroom, having only a towel around her body. I felt my cock harden in front of this magnificent vision. She was breathtakingly beautiful, a true sex bomb. I was irresistibly attracted by the drops of water that ran down her neck to the swell of her breasts. I quickly recovered, not wanting her to realize the effect she had on me.
"Do you need anything?" she asked, uncomfortable.
"Mrs. Bentley didn't leave any prepared meals like I had supposed. She probably did not expect me to send her home so she didn't prepare anything. I'm sorry to ask you this but can you cook for us?" I explained.
"No problem, sir. I get dressed and I'll start the meal" she said, tightening the towel around her.
"Thank you. I'll be in my office. Prepare whatever you want; I'm not picky with food."
I went away without another word. I had to get away from her before I gave in to my sexual urges. I went back to my office and tried to concentrate on the job but I couldn't get out of my head the image of Anastasia half naked.
How was I going to not to fuck her now that I had seen her goddess's body hiding under her clothes? I had a strict rule: I don't fuck my employees. Three weeks ago, I didn't feel any sexual attraction for my assistant. Although she was a very beautiful woman, she didn't correspond to the type of woman I was fucking. I preferred brunette and Anastasia was blonde, like all my employees. I was uncompromising about that when a woman was hired in my company.
Everything had changed three weeks ago. When I arrived at my office, I was surprised to see her with brown hair. It had never crossed my mind that she could stop dyeing her hair to return to her natural color. It was a shock and I was not prepared to be attracted to her. Her brown hair enhanced her beautiful blue eyes. Since that day, I had difficulty being next to Anastasia without imagining fucking her on my desk. Until now, I had managed not to succumb to the temptation, but now that I knew what was hiding under her clothes, it made things more difficult.
I couldn't ask her to dye her hair back to blond or fire her because she was by far the best assistant I ever had. The sexual attraction that I felt for her would eventually disappear by focusing on my work and having a new submissive. I had terminated the contract of my last submissive six months ago because she wanted more than a dominant/submissive relationship. Hearts and flowers. I had been very clear from the beginning of our contract that there would be absolutely nothing of these. I didn't do romantic, I fucked. Hard.
After a few minutes, my sexual urges had calmed down and I could finally get back to work. I replied to several emails and then reread the report of the conference. When I had finished, I got up and left my office to join Anastasia in the kitchen.
"Do not screw up! Forget this image! It's your assistant, nothing will happen!" I mentally ordered myself.
Ana POV
After Mr. Grey had gone, I entered my room, put on a pullover and pants. Then I went downstairs, into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and inspected its contents to see what dish I could prepare. I decided to make a Caesar salad and a chocolate fondant.
I pulled out all the necessary ingredients and put them on the counter. I started with dessert. While I was mixing the ingredients, I thought back to what had happened a little earlier.
I was very embarrassed that he saw me with just a towel around me. On one hand, because he was my boss and, on the other hand, because he was a seductive man. I was not used to being almost naked in front of a man and especially not a man as beautiful as him. The situation would have been even more embarrassing if he were not gay.
I finished the chocolate fondant, put it in the oven and then started the salad. Once I had finished, I did not know if Mr. Grey wanted to eat in his office or whether he would join me in the living room. As I was going to go to his office to find out where he would eat, I saw him enter the kitchen.
"Would you like me to bring you your meal in your office?" I suggested.
"I will dine in the living room with you" he announced.
"Alright, sir."
I went into the living-room to set the table. I took out two plates, two glasses as well as cutlery and towels. I set the table quickly and then went back into the kitchen to take the cake out of the oven and left it on the kitchen counter for it to cool down and then I picked up the salad and a carafe of water. Mr. Grey was choosing a bottle of wine.
We went into the living-room, and then we sat silently in front of each other. I had already shared a business meal with him but it was the first time we dined alone. I was uncomfortable because I found him so intimidating. As usual, his face was impassive and showed no emotion.
"It's a Sancerre, a white wine that goes perfectly with a Caesar salad" he announced as he uncorked the bottle.
He wanted to pour some wine into my glass, but I politely refused.
"I don't drink alcohol" I explained.
"Never?" he asked, a little astonished, pouring wine into his glass.
"I can't hold alcohol and I don't like to not be in total control of my body."
"It's a wise decision" he agreed, staring intently at me with his magnificent gray eyes.
I was embarrassed by the intensity of his gaze. Uncomfortable, I grabbed the salad servers and prepared to serve him but he interrupted me.
"Let me do it," he said, laying his hands on mine to seize the cutlery.
I felt an electric shock when our hands touched. I pulled my hands away quickly, fleeing his gaze. He served me first and then served himself.
We began to eat in a religious silence. After several minutes, he put down his fork with a sigh.
"Anastasia, we're going to be stuck here for several days. I don't want you to be so uncomfortable in my presence. Am I so intimidating?"
"You are" I admitted. "And you know it. You wouldn't be where you are today if you were not."
"That's true, but I don't want the next days to be so uncomfortable for you. I want you to be relaxed. I don't want you to be under pressure and feel compelled to provide for each of my needs out of fear of being fired. As I said earlier, you're on weekend. So I want you to occupy your free time as you want."
"In that case, call me Ana. I'll be more comfortable. When you call me Anastasia, it reminds me when my parents scolded me when I was little" I conceded.
"I am really sorry for this unexpected situation and for the fact that we are confined here. I hope you didn't have anything planned for this weekend."
"I had nothing planned and it's not your fault. Weather is the only thing you don't control."
I realized what I had just said and bit my lip, embarrassed to have spoken without thinking. He smiled which relaxed me.
"You are right. I control a lot of things and weather isn't one of them" he replied, mischief in his eyes. "Did you call your boyfriend to inform him of the situation?"
"I don't have a boyfriend" I replied before taking a bite of salad.
"I thought the man who came several times at the office was your boyfriend" he explained, after seeing my puzzled look.
"José is just a friend."
"I realize I don't know anything about you. Tell me about you, your family."
"My biological father died a few days before I was born in a car accident. My father is a former Marine who reconverted as a carpenter. He lives in Montesano. My mother lives in Savannah with her fourth husband. She makes candles and jewelry that she sells at the market. The money collected is divided among several different associations each year. She is a volunteer at the hospital where she visits sick children. I am an only child. When I met Kate at university, she became like my sister. She's my best friend."
I couldn't help but notice that his face had hardened at Kate's evocation. I didn't understand the animosity he felt towards her. He was always cold with her while she had been his brother Elliot's girlfriend for five months. He had never really made an effort to hide the fact that he didn't like her.
"As we are talking about her, what was the question she wanted to ask me in the interview I gave her and that you forbade her to ask me ?" he asked, his jaw clenched.
I knew exactly what he was referring to. Six months ago, Kate had begged me to ask Mr. Grey to grant her an interview for the Seattle Times. I told her several times that he didn't do many interviews because he hated it. But as I was unable to refuse anything to my best friend, I finally gave in. And surprisingly, Mr. Grey had agreed.
When she arrived at GEH, I asked to see the list of questions she was going to ask him. Sometimes Kate didn't realize how intrusive she can be so I wanted to make sure she wouldn't ask Mr. Grey an indiscreet question.
"It doesn't really matter. It was a joke, she didn't really intend to ask you that question" I eluded.
I didn't want to tell him the truth since he didn't like Kate, so I didn't want to make things worse. But I saw on his face that he wasn't going to give up.
"Are you gay?" I confessed reluctantly.
"She would have had the courage to ask me the question that no member of my family dares to ask me" he replied smirking.
"Why don't you like her?"
"Because she's a journalist" he replied disdainfully.
"That's all? Why do you hate journalists so much?"
"Some are willing to do anything for a scoop and have no morals. They don't have any problem publishing a false article just for the buzz. They don't care that people can be hurt because of the piece of shit they published"
"I agree with you but Kate is not that kind of journalist. She is professional and does real research. Her articles are based on proven facts and reliable sources" I assured him, defending my best friend.
"She took advantage of your relationship to get an interview she had been trying to get for several months without success."
"She didn't force me, I accepted it because she is my best friend."
"If she were a real friend, she would never have asked you for that favor, because it could have bad consequences for you" he replied coldly.
"And you know what you're talking about, you have so many friends" I replied, bitter.
How dare he talk about friendship as if he knew what it was when he didn't have any friend, except the old witch?
For a second, he was shocked by my answer but quickly resumed his impassive face. I suddenly realized what I had just told him. What had gotten into me? I would never have said that to him in normal circumstances because I hate conflicts, but I couldn't let him talk bad about Kate.
I started to feel bad. I put my fork back on the table.
"I apologize for this inappropriate remark," I said, blushing and looking down at my plate to flee his gaze. "I'll let you finish your meal. You will find a chocolate fondant in the kitchen. Good night, sir."
I got up, walked out of the living room and walked towards the stairs. As I began to climb the steps, I felt his hand grab my arm to force me to stop and turn around.
"Please Anastasia, stay. I am sorry I criticized your friendship with Katherine."
I looked at him, flabbergasted because it was the first time I heard him apologizing to anyone. Still speechless, I nodded and we went back into the living room in silence.
"I wanted the meal to go well so you could relax but I managed to do the opposite," he said, laughing. "I admire your loyalty to your friend. I agree, I have prejudices toward her because of her job but it is also because I'm afraid she'll hurt my brother for a scoop on me."
At the same time, I was touched by his unexpected confession and surprised because he was doing everything to have the least exchange with his family. Whenever Elliot had invited him to join us for dinner or a drink, he had refused. Elliot told Kate and me, how sad his parents and his sister Mia were that Christian never came to family dinners.
"I understand your apprehension but Kate is really in love with Elliot. This is the first time I have seen her so in love with a man. She really cares about him and she'll never do anything to hurt him or to give him the impression that she's with him to get a scoop on you. I don't know about Elliot but Kate is considering a serious future with him" I reassured him.
"I hear you, but a part of me will always be suspicious of Kate" he concluded. "Let's talk about something else that will not create tension. Your mother seems to be a generous and an altruistic person."
"She's amazing. She devotes herself to others to bring them joy and happiness. She feels fortunate to have succeeded in her professional life and to have found a wonderful man. Before meeting Bob, she was an accountant and was already volunteering. When she met Bob, he saw how important it was for my mother to help people who did not have the same luck she had in life. Since he doesn't have money problem with his paper mill, he has suggested her that she stop working so she can devote herself fully to charities."
"Do you get along with your stepfather?"
I was surprised to find that he was genuinely interested in my life. He could have pretended to listen to what I was telling him, but instead, he listened intently to me.
"He's nice and he's wonderful with my mother. I am glad that she has found love after her divorce with my father. She's an incurable romantic" I said before eating the last bite of my salad.
"Are you?" he replied, fixing me intensely.
I was disturbed by his piercing gray eyes. It was the first time he looked at me that way. It was quite confusing and I knew why he was so successful in business.
"Am I a romantic?"
He nodded silently, his eyes still focused on mine.
"Aren't all women a little bit romantic?" I chuckled, blushing, lowering my eyes.
His phone rang. He broke off the visual contact to read the name of the person calling him.
"Excuse me, I have to answer," he said before getting up to leave the room.
I decided to take advantage of his absence to explore the living room a little bit more. I got up and walked over to the library that contained different types of books: there were the classics of English literature, detective novels, French and American literature. Next to the library was a multimedia library containing various blu-ray. There too, there was a varied selection of films.
Continuing my visit, I fell on a shelf on which board games were laid. One of them immediately caught my eyes: "Truth or Dare: sexy". I was intrigued so I grabbed the box. I wanted to see what kinds of questions and challenges could be asked in this game.
I opened the box, took a "truth" card and read the question out loud.
"What do you think about BDSM?"
"What are you doing?" I heard behind me.
Christian POV
I left the living room, went to my office and answered the phone call. It was my mother who called me to invite me to the family lunch this Sunday. I declined the invitation explaining the situation that will probably not be resolved before Sunday evening.
At the tone of her voice, I realized that once again I hurt my mother. I resented hurting her and the rest of my family, but family meals weren't really my thing. I couldn't stand to be with them because they were perfect and I wasn't. And if they discovered my secret, they would be really disappointed and disgusted by my fuckedupness and would reject me.
I reassured my mother that I would only be blocked for a few days and I was safe at my house. I promised her I would come to lunch on the following Sunday, but she, like me, knew that I would find an excuse for not coming.
After hanging up, I went back to the living room. The dinner wasn't really going as I had wanted. I had embarrassed Anastasia while I wanted her to be relaxed with me. I should have known she would defend her best friend, that's what any normal person does. Why did Elliot become infatuated with Katherine Kavanagh? I was really happy for him because he was really in love with her, but I would have preferred another woman. I couldn't take the risk with my secret to have a journalist in my private entourage.
But this discussion had enabled me to discover that Anastasia had protected me in spite of her friendship. I didn't know how faithful she was to me. It was only for her that I agreed to give an interview to Miss Kavanagh because I knew that I was a very demanding boss and until now Anastasia had done a very good job.
I had to admit that during our little argument, I had found her exciting because she had resisted to me fiercely, which surprisingly pleased me. Normally, I wouldn't have tolerated the way she spoke to me and her insolence in my lack of friends, but I don't know why I didn't hold it against her and even apologized to her. A first to me.
When I entered the living-room, I saw that she was no longer at the table. Then I saw her next to the library. I grabbed my glass of wine and joined her. As she had her back turned to me, she didn't see that I had returned. She held something in her hand but I couldn't see what.
"What do you think about BDSM?" I heard her say.
Fuck! What was she doing? Why was she talking about BDSM? Had she discovered everything?
"What are you doing?" I said curtly.
She turned quickly, ashamed of having been caught snooping.
"I'm sorry, I did not mean to go through your stuff" she stammered.
"What is it?"
"Your game" she replied, showing me the box.
When I saw what it was, I was relieved because it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I was surprised she could even think for a second that this game belonged to me.
"It's not mine. Elliot must have forgotten it the last time he came" I replied. "You want to play it?" I joked.
She blushed and that amused me. There was a kind of innocence in her that I found charming and attractive.
"Oh no, no" she replied quickly, obviously embarrassed that I could believe such a thing. "I just wanted to look at the questions and the dares out of curiosity."
"Is your curiosity satisfied?" I asked before taking a sip of wine.
"I only read one question."
"I heard you read it. What is your answer, Anastasia?" I teased her.
"It would not be appropriate for me to answer that question" she avoided the question.
"If you answer it, I will answer it as well" I bargained.
I really wanted to know her opinion on the subject. If she was not against this lifestyle, maybe she would accept to become my submissive. I was already imagining fucking her hard in my playroom, her strapped to the Saint Andrew cross.
I quickly recovered. For a brief moment, I had let my cock take over my brain. "She's your assistant!" I lectured myself mentally.
Her red cheeks showed she was terribly embarrassed.
"Don't be embarrassed, Anastasia. I'm not asking you to tell me about your sex life or make a thesis about BDSM. My opinion of you won't change because of your answer" I reassured her.
I was beginning to feel guilty for embarrassing her that much. I just wanted to have a little fun with her. I was about to tell her to forget all about this but she prevented me.
"You have to be insane to accept to be treated as an object and even more insane to enjoy to be beaten by someone or to beat someone," she said.
"This is not violence. There are rules and limits decided by the dominant and the submissive. The dominant will do nothing beyond the limits fixed by the submissive because the submissive gives all its confidence to the dominant. And you would be surprised to discover that the pain can be pleasurable if done right" I replied immediately, without thinking.
When I saw her astonished, I realized what I had just done. Instinctively, I had defended my lifestyle which was wrongly perceived because people had a wrong idea about it. Without wanting to, I had just revealed to her my biggest secret. How could I have been so stupid? She had just discovered who I really was: a monster. She must have been terrified by me.
"Damn it!" I exclaimed, smashing my empty glass against the wall.
Ana POV
I looked at him speechless. I was shocked by this revelation: Christian Grey was into BDSM. Now that I knew this, it was totally obvious given his authoritarian side, his need to control everything. If he was not interested in women who hit on him, it wasn't because he was gay but because he had very specific tastes.
"Damn it!" He exclaimed, realizing his mistake, before throwing his glass violently against the wall.
I jumped, surprised by his gesture, not because I was afraid he would hurt me, but because for the first time he was revealing himself, he was not hiding behind his impassive face.
For a brief moment, he didn't control his emotions and I saw anxiety on his face. He nervously passed his hand through his hair. Then his jaw tightened and he gave me a cold look.
"I will not tell anyone. It's your privacy. It doesn't concern anyone else but you "I reassured him.
I felt bad for him. It must have been hard for him to be constantly on his guard to keep this secret hidden so that it is not revealed to the public. If his secret were discovered, people would judge him immediately, as I had just done. I had judged his lifestyle whereas I knew little about it. I felt a little guilty.
"I shouldn't have answered the question. I don't know anything about BDSM. I'm sorry if I hurt you."
He sighed of relief. He looked at me with a gentle look. He approached me, grabbed my hand, which he held tightly in his, and looked me straight in the eye.
"Thank you for being understanding. Anyone else would have taken the opportunity to sell this scoop to the press for big bucks, but you are not like the others. I know that I can trust you, you have already proved it to me."
I could see in his gray eyes that he really meant what he said. I was really touched that he had so much trust in me. There were only a few people he had such trust in. I put my free hand tenderly on our clasped hands, reassuringly. It was a difficult time for him and I wanted him to understand that I was there for him.
"It's nothing. If I were you, I wouldn't stand the press being so interested in my private life, especially my sex life. I understand it must be difficult to keep this secret, including to your family. You dropped your guard for a moment and I blame myself because if I had not answered that damn question, you wouldn't have revealed anything."
"Don't feel guilty, it was me who forced you to answer the question. I don't blame you. People who aren't into BDSM totally misunderstand this lifestyle which is considered as deviant. It's just a different style of life from the normal one. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I never did to my submissive something that they didn't want me to do to them. BDSM is based on trust and it's consensual" he replied, stroking my hand.
"I'm not afraid of you" I assured. "You don't have to justify yourself about your lifestyle, it doesn't concern me. My opinion about you won't change because of that."
"I just want you to understand what BDSM is so that you don't have prejudices on the subject" he insisted.
I saw that it was important for him. I suddenly realized that he left his family believes he was gay on purpose because he was too afraid to tell them the truth fearing they would reject him because of his lifestyle they might consider as deviant.
"I'm not the best person to discuss anything related to sex."
Oh shit! I made the same mistake as him. I spoke without thinking and I revealed my most shameful secret.
"Are you a virgin?" he asked, surprised.
Could the situation be worse?
"No, I'm not a virgin. Don't take it badly, but I don't want to talk about it with you. It's too embarrassing" I said, releasing my hands from his.
"More embarrassing than me who mistakenly reveal that I am a dominant?" He laughed. "No matter what it is, you can trust me, it will stay between you and me."
No, I couldn't tell him. I was too ashamed. He was the sexiest man I've ever met. He would think I'm weird, abnormal. I lowered my head wanting to escape his piercing eyes but he stopped me by grabbing my chin to raise my head up.
"Anastasia, trust me as I do with you, please. It can't be that embarrassing" he assured.
Fuck it! It's not like something can ever happened between him and me. He's my boss and a dominant. He wants a submissive, what I would never be. I decided to trust him as he had done with me.
"I'm frigid. Sex doesn't interest me. I have never felt neither the desire nor the need to masturbate and I have never had an orgasm" I admitted, blushing. "Something is wrong with me."
He laughed which made me angry. I should never have trusted him. I confessed my deepest and shameful secret and he laughed at me. How dare he do that? He saw that I was angry and stopped laughing.
"Sorry, I was not making fun of you" he apologized. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Anastasia. Women don't have an orgasm every time they have sex. And unluckily for you, you only had sex with men who didn't know how to give pleasure to a woman."
"You're wrong. I have a problem, I'm sure of it" I replied.
My ex, Nick, had made it clear to me that I was frigid and that was why he cheated on me because I wasn't satisfying his sexual needs. He was the only one man I had sex with. We met during the second year of college. Quickly, I fell madly in love with him and after three months I gave him my virginity.
At first, I thought it was normal not to feel pleasure during intercourse and foreplay and it would end up becoming good with practice. But that was not the case. I felt absolutely nothing while we made love so I was faking to please him but he eventually realized it. At first, he had reassured me but after several weeks he had broken up with me. He told me that I was not normal, that something was wrong with me and that all the other women he was sleeping with had pleasure during sex. It was at that moment that I discovered he had cheated on me from the beginning.
When I had told everything to Kate, she reassured me by telling me that he must have been a bad lover and that I would find someone better. Totally lost, I had masturbated one night to see if I would have pleasure and I hadn't felt anything. It was after this experience that I understood that I was frigid and that sex was not interesting for me.
Kate had tried several times to convince me to hook up with a stranger to verify my theory but I had always refused. I didn't want to relive the same humiliation I had with Nick.
"How many lovers have you had so far?"
I should have found his question totally inappropriate but with everything that had happened that evening, I think nothing was inappropriate between us anymore.
"One."
"And that's only because of this failed experience that you are now so sure of being frigid?" he retorted, stunned. "Was it him who put this idea in your head?"
"He told me that the other women he cheated on me with enjoyed sex with him."
"Besides the fact that this guy is a jerk, he lied to you because his ego wouldn't admit that he was unable to please a woman."
I was beginning to doubt. Could he be right? Is Kate was right all along? Did I deprive myself off sex for four years because of one single bad experience? It couldn't be the case, otherwise, I would have felt the need to masturbate or to satisfy my needs. I have never done it, except that night after Nick has broken up with me.
"Because of this asshole, you don't feel the need to masturbate because you don't know how good sex is" he explained as if he had read my mind. "Since you are so sure you don't like sex, your body follows what your brain tells him."
What he said made sense. And he was much more experienced than me; he knew what he was talking about. One thing was certain, I shouldn't have trusted Nick. Of course, he would have never told me that it was him who didn't know how to use his dick, but naively and hurt, I had foolishly believed him.
Maybe once back in Seattle, I could finally follow Kate's advice and sleep with a stranger to see if I'm actually frigid. What do I have to lose? Worst case, I won't have pleasure and I will simulate it so the man won't be aware of anything. I would finally be certain.
"I can prove you that I am telling the truth" he interrupted my thoughts.
I must have heard him wrong. He wasn't suggesting what I thought he was, right?
"Let me fuck you Anastasia, and I can assure you that you will have an orgasm, several orgasms actually."
