You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine
By: the female apophis
Disclaimer: I don't own them, wish I did, but I don't. So don't sue me. This story is purely for the entertainment of the fans.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Slight Solitudes, and anything that has some sort of S/J anxiety.
Archive: sure, just ask me first.
Pairings: S/J (well duh! What, you think I can write a fan-fiction without that? Wow, you're dumb...they suck when I do.) Also slight Dan/Jan.
Summary: Sam has been missing for years, but when the guys find her again, will she be willing to come home?
A/N: Yay! My muse has returned to me! I'm so happy. Now I just have to find out her name...I think it might be Tracy, but I can't be sure. Anywho, plz R&R. I seriously need it. I might even write a sequel to this if I get enough reviews.
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I was so cold. I can remember that. But now I think about Antarctica to keep me warm. This planet's winters make Antarctica seem like the Bahamas. When I first came here it was during this planet's summer, so it was about like Hawaii. I still remember my first few weeks here. I was constantly trying to find out a way to get the 'gate working again. But after a while, I gave up. I learned how to grow all sorts of different things. Not long after the first winter I started exploring the planet more. After a few days of wandering around in the forest, I found a palace. It was a warm place to stay and in one of the many rooms I found some clothing. I was lucky. The clothes were my size. I continued to grow my crops, and I explored a little more every day. But when it came time for winter, I stayed very close to the palace. When the first storm hit, I was safe inside the thick walls. With the food that I had grown that year, I had enough to get me through the winter. As soon as it was over I began to write in this journal. I have now been on this planet for almost three years.
All I could think about those first few weeks, besides getting the 'gate to work, was him. The man that had captured my heart and hadn't even bothered to look back. I miss him, even now. I wish that he were here with me. He could keep me warm on the cold winter nights. But by now, he's probably moved on, forgotten about me. He might even have gotten married by now.
But he isn't the only one I miss. I miss them all: Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, Jonas, Hammond, and even my father. I wish that I could have just one person to talk to on this planet. But no such luck. I am utterly alone. Sure, I talk to my plants, but I want someone to answer me when I speak.
When I said before that I have been on this planet for three years, it wasn't a lie. But the truth is, I've been missing for almost four years. The missing year was spent at the hands of Ba'al. I was tortured for information. When I was finally able to make my escape I was almost too weak to do it. Ba'al had found a new way to torture a person. He discovered a...let's just say unique, new way of using the pain stick. I can't help but shudder at the thought. I lost a lot of blood during that year. But he continued to revive me. I started to go through withdrawal not long after coming here. However, I was able to beat it. I saw Daniel go through it, but mine was much worse. For one thing, I was forced to use it for almost a year.
I'm gonna have to stop now. The sun is going to be setting soon. I'll have to be indoors. The nights are cold, and the animals start to come out. I'll build a fire to keep them away, and to keep myself warm.
********************
I miss her. She's been gone for four years. Everyone keeps telling me to move on. Danny came up to me the other day and asked me when I was going to go on a date. He started telling me about this really great girl he met. I snapped at him. I think he's finally starting to understand why I won't move on. It took him long enough. Janet and Teal'c are the only ones who don't bother me. Whenever we go a new planet we ask the locals if they have seen her. At least we used to. I left the SGC two years ago. I couldn't stand being where she wasn't. The scientists we 'hired' to take her place don't have a damn clue what the hell they're doing. She was brilliant. But she had this way of 'dumbing' things up for me.
Jacob took it pretty hard when she disappeared. Who could blame him? He lost his daughter, and there's no hope of finding her. At least for now.
I've been recalled into active duty. Hammond says things are starting to get rough. The original team, minus her, will be going to this planet tomorrow morning. Apparently, there's this huge, honkin' palace there. Danny thinks we may be able to find something there. Just another standard recon mission; and in all honesty, I'm getting tired of them. We used to go on them all the time. But they were just so boring. But Hammond thinks that we need to start back light. So yeah, that's what we're gonna do.
********************
I decided to go check on some things today. The first place I went was to the 'gate. It's exactly as I left it. When I was checking on my garden a click from it, I felt this rumble. I ran to the 'gate. Just as I suspected, it was powering up. I hid in a tree not far from it. I knew that this would give me a strategic advantage. I could see without being seen. But when it activated, I really wasn't expecting what came through. It was the M.A.L.P. I almost fell out of the tree when I saw it. I can only pray that they come through. But I really want him to come through. I just hope I won't be disappointed.
********************
Hammond has given us the go ahead. We're standing at the bottom of the ramp now. The chevrons are locking into place and I look to my left. I see Teal'c, one of the most understanding guys I have ever met. Next to him is Danny. I'm happy for him. He got married to the Napoleonanic Power Monger that is Janet Fraiser just around a year ago. She's expecting a baby in about five months. And standing next to him is Jonas. When I first met him, I really didn't like to have him around. But then he grew on me, kinda like Danny did. I keep expecting to see her standing there next to Jonas, but she isn't.
The 'gate opens with a loud 'Kawoosh' and we step through. The first thing I notice is there are trees. Lot's of trees, and Danny is running towards them in the direction of the palace. Teal'c is heading off after him, and Jonas and I decide to follow.
********************
They came through. All of them: Daniel, Teal'c, Jonas, and him. I ran back to the palace to make myself look at least halfway presentable. I run my fingers quickly through my hair, and I slip on some clothes. Not that I was nude, but I really didn't feel like having the guys see me in just a tank top and some very small shorts. I pull on some pants, but it's too hot to put anything else on. I really don't feel like having a heat stroke.
I hear Danny running up the steps, with three different sets of footsteps following him. Daniel sounds slightly out of breath, but I don't doubt it with the way he set off from the 'gate. I peek out at them, and study them all carefully.
Daniel looks slightly flushed, and I notice that he has a wedding band on. I can't help but smile. I hope whoever she is, she knows how lucky she is.
Teal'c is standing next to him. He has this small smile on his face. He doesn't smile often. At least he didn't when I used to work with him. But he may have changed since the last time I saw him.
Jonas is wearing his usual smile. When I first met him, I have to admit his smile creeped me out a bit. But I got used to it eventually.
And then there's him. He looks the same. His hair has gotten slightly grayer, but other than that, he's the same old Jack. I take that back, he's a little bit tanner, but I figure he just got back from fishing recently. I look at his hand and notice that there's no ring. Not that that means anything, because he could just not be wearing it on duty. But he also has to tan line there. This is very good news to me. Maybe I'll just come out after all.
********************
Something about this place is different. It seems like someone lives here. But according to Danny, no one has lived here for almost 2,000 years. But then I see it, a shadow moving across the wall. Apparently Teal'c noticed it too, because he's signaling to me to be warned. I get my P-90 ready, and just as I'm about to head towards the pillar, someone steps out.
It's her. Sam. I don't know what to say. I just stand there, in absolute shock.
********************
He's just staring at me as though he doesn't know what to say. I can't say I blame him. I mean, I'm not quite sure what to say myself.
"Sam?" I hear Daniel calling to me. I look at him, and the next thing I know I'm enfolded in his arms. I can't help but hug him back. Next I'm hugging Jonas, and then Teal'c. I give Teal'c a small kiss on the cheek, and then step back. He nods his understanding and I cross over to Jack.
We look at each other for a long time before either of us moves. Almost at the same time we wrap our arms around each other. He swings me around and places a soft kiss on my neck. When he finally puts me down we look up into each other's eyes and then the best thing in the world happens.
We kiss.
And not just any kiss. This kiss is so full of passion; I'm surprised I haven't melted away yet. If it weren't for him holding me up, I probably would have fallen over my knees are so weak.
When we finally pull apart we just gaze into each other's eyes for the longest time. It isn't until Daniel clears his throat do we actually look away.
"Yes Daniel?" I can't help but ask him. He looks slightly embarrassed at having seen what he's just seen. Teal'c looks amused and Jonas can't keep his mouth closed.
"Sorry to interrupt, but just out of curiosity, how long have you been here?"
I turn my head slightly before giving him my answer. He realizes that I'm not ready to talk about it quite yet, so he drops the subject. I send him a smile that says 'thank you' and he smiles in return.
"How would you guys like some dinner?" I ask them. I get a hearty round of 'I thought you would never ask.'
Dinner went smoothly. Jack sat next to me, Teal'c sat to his left, and the other two sat to my right. I felt like I was back on the team. It was almost like I had never gone missing. Jack's knee keeps brushing mine, and I can't help but smile at him every once in a while. It's my own quiet way of saying 'I missed you too baby.'
After three hours of just sitting around talking, the guys announce that they're all going to bed. Jack stays around to help me clean up. Or so he say's. As soon as the other three leave he crosses over to me and wraps his arms tightly around me, daring anyone to try and pull us apart. I just stand there and let him hold me. I need it right now just as much as he does. He's just trying to prove to himself that I am real, and I'm trying to prove to him the exact same thing.
When he lets me go he captures my lips in a heart stopping kiss. I kiss him back with just as much passion as he is giving me.
********************
I can't believe it. I am standing here kissing the woman who has haunted my dreams for the past four years. I know that she'll tell me what she meant by only being on this planet for only three years. I don't want to pressure her. I pull away from her kiss and lead her over to the fire. She curls up in my arms and rests her head against my shoulder. Teal'c was smart enough to warn the others not to disturb us at all tonight. I have a feeling there's gonna be some serious comforting going on.
After a few minutes she turns around in my arms to face me. By the look on her face I know she's about to tell me something.
********************
I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna tell him about Ba'al. I have no other choice. So I take a deep breath and begin my tale.
"Jack, can I tell you something?"
"Of course. What is it?"
"I want to tell you where that extra year went."
"Okay." I was expecting him to say more, but when he didn't I continued.
"When I first disappeared, I spent a year as a prisoner of Ba'al's. He tortured me for information. He used the acid and knives on me at first but then..." I have to stop for a minute. I can tell this is gonna be hard to say.
I look at him, and see in his eyes the pain that is there. He's probably reliving his own memories right now. I don't know what to do. But he nods at me as if to say 'Go ahead, it's okay, I'm here now.' So I do.
"But then...(sigh) he decided to start using the pain stick on me. He used it to...(sniffle)...Jack, he raped me with it."
As soon as I said it, Jack wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I let the tears fall and once in a while, I would feel his own tears falling into my hair. I can't stop crying.
About half an hour later I pulled away. I keep sniffing and I know that Jack really isn't ready to let me go just yet. I take his hands in mine and just hold them. I need there to be some kind of contact between us, and I sense that he feels the same.
"That bastard."
His words are so full of hate. I look at him and see nothing but pain and anger in his eyes. He looks at me and his expression softens. The pain and anger are replaced with something else, something I haven't seen since the Zetark incident. Love, love is there in all of its glories. He grabs me again, and holds me. But this time I don't cry. This time I just revel in his warmth.
I love him.
********************
I can't believe that bastard of a Goa'uld did that to her. I did the only thing I could when she told me. I held her as close to me as I could while she cried. Something within me broke, and the next thing I know, I'm crying with her. I realized that this is the first time I have done anything like this since Charlie died. I didn't cry when I came back from Ba'al, though God knows I wanted to.
I don't know how much time passed until she pulled away from me. I wanted to keep holding her. I think she sensed my need to touch her, so she takes my hands in hers.
I say the only thing that comes to mind. "That bastard."
I can hear the anger in my own voice. I know the anger and pain are being mirrored in my eyes. But then I look her in the eye, and the anger and pain just melt away. I can feel the love in my eyes. My love for this woman.
I love her.
********************
"I love you."
I'm not sure which of us said it first. Now that I think about it, we may have said it at the same time. When realization hit us, we just smile at each other.
As if gravity is drawing us together, we get closer and closer. Our heads, our lips, get closer. Finally we are so close, we're probably breathing the same air. And with one last breath, our lips connect. Fireworks explode overhead, and both of us sense it. Right now, I don't think a full Jaffa battalion could pull us apart. I almost dare them to try.
When we finally pull apart, we just look at each other, gasping slightly. Both of us know that now really isn't the time. We came to an unspoken agreement that we need to take things slow.
When I woke up the next morning, I was wrapped safely in Jack's strong embrace. I can hear Daniel pounding on the door to my bedroom asking if we're in here. I hear him ask something of Teal'c. Whatever is he asked Teal'c, Teal'c gave a hearty 'No.'
Behind me, Jack begins to stir. He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head.
"Morning beautiful."
"Morning." I smile as he lazily kisses my neck. I reluctantly pull out of his embrace and sit up. I can just see the disappointment written all over his face. I turn to him and give him my best smile. Oh good, he's smiling back.
"So what are we doing today?" I ask him.
"What did you have in mind?" Oh, he is soo playing along.
"Well, I was thinking..."
"When do you ever stop?"
I smile. "Daniel and Jonas can try translating some of the palace. That should keep them busy for a while. Teal'c can watch them."
"Sounds good. But what are you and I gonna do?"
"What do you say I show you the vineyard?"
"You have a vineyard?"
"Yeah. So, what do you say?"
"Okay."
He gets out of the bed and pulls his pants on. I can't help but smile at the Simpson's boxers he chose to wear the night before.
"I'll meet you out there."
"Okay." He's confused.
"I have to get changed Jack."
"Why can't I stay?"
"That, is for later." I said it, and I said it very seductively. At least, I hope I did.
By the look on his face, I'd say that was a yes.
"Hurry, won't you?"
I gently push him out of the room, and then I get changed. I find a pale blue dress. It suits me well. It's about the same color as my eyes. It's full length, but it's a strapless. It's amazingly comfortable. I find some comfortable sandals and put them on.
I exit the room, and take the arm offered to me by Jack. Daniel can't help but stare at me. Jonas is pretty much doing the same thing. Teal'c's smiling again. I know what he's smiling about. I can't help but smile back. Then I look at Jack, and my smile grows even larger.
********************
She looks amazing. She's grown more toned over the past few years. Her hair reaches to her mid-back, and it curls slightly at the bottom. Her skin, which is incredibly smooth, is tanned. It's a dark tan, and I'm almost envious of her. But it's quickly squashed as she smiles at me. It's that special smile, the one she only uses on me.
She tells the others what she has planned for the day, and they all agree that it's a good idea. All the while I can't help but think to myself 'Of course it is, she came up with it didn't she?'
As the three leave our hands seek each other out, and we stroll hand and hand along a well-worn path.
After walking in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, we come to a clearing. There, stretched out in front of us, is a huge vineyard. The vines seem to stretch as far as the eye can see.
"It's beautiful."
"Yes it is." I look down at her, and notice that she's looking directly at me. I think she's trying to say that I'm beautiful, but I can't be sure.
I lean to kiss her. She does the same thing. The kiss is slow and tender, yet it's still full of passion.
"Sam, you do realize that we're gonna have to take you home soon don't you?"
"Of course, when are you guys due back?"
"Tomorrow at 0800."
She looks at my watch and states "It's almost time for lunch. Let's start heading back."
I follow her. Hell, I would go to Hell and back for her. I almost have a couple of times. But that's love for ya.
********************
Jack and I never left each other's sides the entire night. When the sunrise greeted us this morning, we smiled at each other, and slowly got up. I got changed in the bathroom, while Jack got changed in the room. When I say that, I don't mean that we were nude, we were just down to the bare minimum in the clothing department. Just because we're sharing a bed doesn't mean that we're 'doing the deed.' We actually agreed last night before we fell asleep that we would take things slow. That way, if Hammond says no, we won't be quite as attached.
Yeah right.
It's time to go, and I almost don't want to. This place has been my home for the past three years. I spent so much time here. But then I look at Jack, and I know that everything will be okay. With one final look, I step through the event horizon.
I wasn't exactly expecting what I found when I got back. The entire control room is just staring at me. And then it hits me why. Hammond practically runs into the 'gate room. I walk down the ramp and come to attention in front of him.
"It's great to be back sir."
"Welcome home Sam."
I salute him, but apparently he wants none of it. He grabs me in a bear hug, and I affectionately hug him back.
"Major, why don't you head on down to the infirmary for some physicals. I just want to be sure you haven't brought anything back with you. I'll contact your father, and inform him of your return."
"Thank you sir."
I exit the 'gate room, with Jonas, Daniel, and Teal'c following me closely. Jack decided to stay behind. I knew he would. He wants to talk to Hammond. I can't say I blame him. I just hope Hammond says okay to the plan.
We arrive at the infirmary and together the four of us walk in. Janet's standing there talking to a nurse. Daniel creeps up behind her, and I realize that she is his wife. He wraps his arms around her and she jumps in the air. The nurse giggles and walks off.
"Daniel!"
I laugh at them and find an empty bed. I plop myself down and wait for Janet to see me. I notice that she's gotten a little...chubby. She's pregnant. I can't help but be happy for her and Daniel.
I let a giggle escape and Janet turns to me. Her eyes get as big as saucers when she sees me. For speed that I have never seen a pregnant woman with, she runs to my side and captures me in a suffocating hug. I hug her back, and somehow, manage to pry her off of me. She has tears in her eyes, and when one falls, she wipes it away.
"God, I missed you Sam."
"I missed you too Janet."
We hug again, and I think I might cry myself when I feel the baby kick.
Janet looks at me and smiles.
"I think it likes you. This is the first time it's ever kicked."
I smile at her. She looks so happy. I try not to think about my own misfortune.
"Okay guys, you all have to leave. I have to give Sam a complete physical. I seriously doubt you want to be here for that."
Once they all left, I tell Janet about everything. She comforts me and expresses her sympathy.
Just as we finish the tests, the klaxons go off.
"Dad."
I quickly get dressed. Just as I was finishing up I got paged to the briefing room. I practically run the whole way there.
As I arrive there panting, I look around the room and see my father. He turns to look at me, and we rush to each other. He hugs me tight and I can hear him crying.
"I missed you kiddo."
"I missed you too dad."
He pulls away from me and gives me a good once over. I know he's shocked to be seeing me.
"Well, George, I think it should be okay. She appears to be in good health, and Jack's looking a hell of a lot better since he found her."
"That's what I was hoping you were going to say Jacob. Jack, Sam, congratulations, you can have a relationship."
I just look at Jack and smile. He has this big goofy grin on his face and we cross to each other. Without a word we hug. That's all we did, and I know that if we had have done more, I would have ended up doing something really embarrassing in front of my dad.
"So, you wanna come fishing with me?"
I laugh as what he says sinks in. For years he asked me, and for years I said no. But it's different now. He takes the smile I send to him as a yes.
********************
Well, she finally told me yes. Not in so many words, but she did. We're on our way to my cabin in Minnesota now.
When we get there, we unload our stuff and take it all inside. I give her the grand tour, and just as I was about to show her the bedroom, her cell phone goes off.
"Just a sec. Hello? Oh hi Janet. What's up?"
I listen half heartedly to the conversation. When she hangs up, she has this odd look on her face.
"What is it?"
"Oh...my...God."
"Sam?"
"That was Janet."
"I figured that. What'd she want?"
"She has the results of my tests back. I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first?"
"The bad."
"Because of what Ba'al did to me, I have extensive scarring around my ovaries."
"And this means..."
"Well, if it was a bit worse, I would be...let's just say, sterile."
"Okay, now what's the good news?"
"The good news is, even though I have extensive scarring, I can still have children."
I look at her in shock. This is great.
"That's great!"
I grab her into a hug, and she affectionately hugs back.
********************
That night we sit in front of the fire in the living room, sipping on some wine, and enjoying each other's company.
I could feel my body temperature rising when he first sat down beside me. But right now, I think my heart is about to pound out of my chest.
I turn to him, and kiss him lightly on the cheek. I let my lips linger a moment longer than I really should have. Then I get off and walk back to the bedroom. I can hear Jack following me. I cross over to the bed and crawl in. A few minutes later I hear him come in and I watch him as he starts a fire in the fireplace. He gets down to his boxers before crawling in next to me. When he spoons himself up to me, my heart rate skyrockets again. I turn around to look at him.
I can see the lust in his dark eyes. As I continue to watch, they continue to get darker. He leans down and kisses me. I grant his tongue entrance into my mouth. The next thing I know, he's planting butterfly kisses along my neck and jaw line.
Then he starts to torture me. He slowly unbuttons my shirt and kisses the exposed flesh. I can't help but encourage him on when he finds one of my spots. He makes quick work of the shorts, and I'm lying there in my underwear. My shirt is open, and the next thing I know, it's gone. When he goes to remove the underwear, I stall him, as if to say just a minute. He gets the hint and sits up.
In one swift move, I flip him. He looks at me in shock until he realizes what I'm doing. Then he smiles wickedly. I make quick work of his shorts, and then I give him control again. This time I don't stall him when he removes the underwear.
We made love many times that night. We took turns, and each time we found something new. Each time was a lot of exploring. After about the fifth time, we fell into a sated sleep.
When we woke up the next morning we smiled at each other. Then we made love again. I will say this, that man is, by far, the best lover I have ever had. I have never been satisfied like that.
My love for him just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
He looks at me suddenly with a thoughtful look on his face.
"Sam, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Marry me?"
I say the first thing that comes to mind.
"Yes."
********************
She said yes. I'm ecstatic right now. I don't know whom to thank for bringing her back to me, but whoever they are, thanks.
I don't know much, but I do know this. I love Sam Carter with all my heart and soul. There is nothing in this world that could change that.
~fin~
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"Onward Patsy!"
