A/N: This was written for the Choose-Your-Wand challenge, wood: walnut.

Scorpius never would have expected to find himself with his current dilemma. He'd always been a good kid who didn't step out of line. Merlin, he'd even been one of those obnoxious students who prided himself on never forgetting an assignment, let alone doing something scandalous enough to earn a detention. That hadn't changed after he started working at the Ministry.

His younger self had been enthralled with the idea of working in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, with all the glory such a position entailed.

As he'd gotten older, he'd realized he was a horrible fit for such a position despite his love of rules, and he'd explored alternatives. During his fourth year at Hogwarts, he'd entertained notions of joining the Department of International Magical Cooperation before deciding such a position wasn't meant for someone with his strengths either.

It had only been then that the idea of joining the Ministry's magical research committee had crossed his mind.

Despite publishing nearly half the research that came out of Britain's magical community, most didn't know the committee existed. When he'd had his employee orientation, Scorpius had been told that was a good thing because it meant fewer people were trying to influence what the committee researched or the results of said research, but he hadn't been at the department long before he'd realized that the sentiment formally espoused wasn't the complete picture.

He scowled at the parchment on his desk outlining his newest assignment. Yesterday, he'd turned in his final report on some fascinating research into a new use for tree sap in potions that had taken him months to complete, and today, he was faced with an assignment that amounted to complete and utter garbage.

An image of Mr Oldford appearing as he had in the office yesterday, complete with an insufferable smirk on his face, flashed through Scorpius' mind, and he satisfied himself with imagining boils erupting across the man's face.

It was amusing, but it did nothing to solve his current problem, which continued to stare up at him from where it laid on his desk.

He didn't want to touch the parchment. It felt tainted.

Research the practical benefits of Oldford Elixir's use in potions.

Scorpius was tempted to set the parchment on fire in full view of his office mates. Oldford's Elixir wasn't generating the promising sales Oldford had hoped, and that was as it should be. Scorpius knew from the parchment what he could have guessed on his own: the ingredients were a mixture of water and a few common potions ingredients. Nothing in it justified the high price, and nothing in it could be used for the list of supposed benefits Oldford was hoping for them to find in their research.

Could the elixir be used in potions? Yes, in some cases, if a potion called for the exact combination of ingredients the elixir contained (which was true for plenty of potions due to the basic ingredients), but Scorpius could also tell that any would-be potion brewer was better off saving money by buying the ingredients on their own.

He didn't need to do additional research to come to that conclusion, and he feared that his superior didn't expect him to. Within the hour, he could have two versions of the report written: both of them true but with one conveniently leaving out the reasons why the benefits weren't actually benefits. He suspected only one of the versions would be chosen for publication.

They couldn't fire him for not writing the version of the report they wanted. If they did, he could raise enough hell that it would backfire on them. Their only hope was that Scorpius wouldn't want to create such a scene (which he didn't). Oldford wasn't that powerful of a fellow. This wasn't like one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight trying to influence the Ministry as his grandfather still regularly tried to do—with much less success than in previous decades.

If Oldford had come from a more powerful family, Scorpius might have been facing a tougher battle, one that would have scared him, but he thanked his lucky stars that his first run in with corruption was against Oldford. As much as he loathed the Malfoy name, he had found a use for it.

A few minutes later, he found himself outside his boss' office, taking a deep breath and straightening his shoulders. Schooling his features into something he hoped was confident, he knocked on the door.

At the answering call to enter, Scorpius opened the door, feeling like his knees were wobbling enough to be noticeable but not able to stop them from doing so.

Kerry Barragan looked up at him from the thick book she had open in front of her.

"Mr Malfoy," she greeted. "What can I do for you?"

Scorpius didn't return her smile. He had begun to feel a little sick, and he didn't think he could have conjured up a smile even if he'd wanted to.

He held up the parchment with his assignment, and though Barragan's smile didn't disappear, it did dim as her lips thinned.

"Yes," she said, "as you know, Oldford's Elixir has been on the market for several months, and considering the size of its claims, we think it prudent to research its effects."

"We know its effects," Scorpius countered. "It doesn't do anything. I hate to say this, but researching which variety of lettuce produces the largest flobberworms would provide more benefit for society."

Barragan rubbed at her temples even as her smile remained pasted on her face.

"Mr Malfoy," she began in a voice meant to be calming but that only made Scorpius more tense, "you are incredibly talented, which will get you far in our department. However, you are our newest recruit, and I'm afraid that means you will sometimes need to take on the more boring assignments."

"I'm not angry because this is boring or because I'm the one who has to do it," he said. "This isn't worth anyone's time but Oldford's, and I'm not convinced it's even worth his. We shouldn't be taking this assignment."

"With all due respect—"

"With all due respect, I'm not writing this report. Even if it means I'm fired, I can't, in good conscious, waste the department's time and resources on advertising for a product that any five-year-old could make themselves from items in a basic potions kit."

His anger had overcome him enough that he hadn't considered how harsh the words sounded until they were out of his mouth. Barragan stared at him in surprise, and in the few seconds of quiet that stretched on, Scorpius felt his heart begin to pount with ferocity in his chest.

Struggling to take a breath, he took a step back from Barragan's desk before turning and fleeing the room.

He hadn't meant to offer his job on a silver platter, but his anger had gotten the better of him. To make matters worse, he hadn't been strong enough to stay and face the consequences head on.

He buried his head in his arms once he was back at his desk, taking slow, deep breaths.

The door to Barragan's office remained shut as his heartbeat calmed. A few of his co-workers were pretending not to be casting him curious glances, but no one said anything.

With another quick glance at Barragan's closed office door, he pulled out a new piece of parchment, realizing for the first time that he'd left the Oldford assignment lying in Barragan's office.

He began scribbling out what he wanted to research next, focusing on making it as convincing as possible. It might have been his only hope of returning to work tomorrow.