WATCHING FINAL DESTINATION WITH THE ROVERS
Author's Note: This is a short piece based on my Wolf Kid story. Shawn is barely turning 17, is dating Dania and is now a wolf/human. Thank you Dean The Cuddly Fox for the idea and thank you Ulyferal for been my beta. I too had wondered how the Rovers would reaction to an FD movie, this is the result.
Shawn was watching a scary movie with his parents in the lounge…..again. The selection this time was the "Final Destination" series. By the last movie in the set, Shawn was totally disgusted and annoyed with his family.
As they progressively got through each movie, Shawn could easily predict his family's reactions from previous attempts to watch scary movies.
'Well, its just about time for Blitz to start biting his nails,' he sighed to himself as he counted down. 'One...two...three...and there he goes.' He glanced over at Colleen, 'she'll pass out here anytime now,' he thought in irritation, seconds later she did.
He turned his head to see how Hunter and Exile were holding up. They both were looking a little green. 'Wonderful...barf bags here we come,' he muttered sourly and, sure enough, only moments later, the pair yanked out barf bags from somewhere and began heaving into them. He quickly looked away in disgust.
He already knew what Shag was doing and it would have been terribly funny if he'd not seen it more than...oh, say...fifty times by now. No matter how many times he would tell his family that nothing on the screen was real and they would faithfully say, "yeah, we know,"...they still would behave as if it were all real. Geez, it was getting really ridiculous and, certainly, no longer humorous.
Honestly, he simply couldn't understand how they could fall for this time after time. He turned his attention back to the screen and saw that part where the three teens in the movie were in the coffee shop and ...Bam!...The truck hits them, killing them instantly..occurred...immediately, the Rovers screamed and fainted.
"Crap! You've got to be kidding me!" Shawn exploded in frank exasperation, staring at his unconscious family. OMG! If he weren't a good son, he'd write nasty things on all their foreheads right now.
Sighing, he ejected the last movie then began poking his family to wake them. "Hey! Wake up...!" Having no success prodding them awake, he went outside the room to get something.
Ten minutes later, Shawn returned, bringing with him one of those annoying blaster horns used at sports stadiums during games. He raised it then pointed the front toward the Rovers, pressing the button on top.
"HOOOOONKKKK! It blasted, making Shawn wince and fold his own ears down from the racket.
All the Rovers leaped in the air before falling back down, missing the couch and hitting the floor with many thuds. Groans of pain came from them as they rubbed various parts of their lower anatomy.
Shawn just shook his head and left the lounge for his bedroom taking the horn with him. 'They really should put warning labels on those movies,' he thought, annoyed.
Next day...
Still wearing his pjs, Shawn rubbed his head and made ready to get up. He felt groggy and still tired which was understandable since all night someone was doing construction work nearby, all night long.
He wondered who the heck was making all the racket. The Master wasn't prone to doing things like that but his family...well...they might but why would they? Shaking his head and shoving the thought away, he got to his feet and went outside his room. Immediately, there was a soft popping sound under his feet. Looking down he saw bubble wrap.
"Say what?" He blurted in shock as he saw the bubble wrap filled the hallway.
Stunned and bewildered, he hurriedly walked over the wrap, popping sounds leading the way as he reached the kitchen and found Hunter and Exile.
"What the hell is all this for?" Shawn exploded, pointing down at the covered floor. He had no idea where they had managed to find so much bubble wrap nor why on earth they'd saw fit to cover all the floors with it.
Hunter sang out, "morning son, what do you think? Everything is safe now for you."
"Da! Now you can't get hurt from any of those things that could kill you," Exile added, excitedly.
Shawn counted to ten before he tried to reason with his frightened parents. "Look...I know the movies freaked you out and you're really scared I might die in some horrible fashion but seriously, all this extra caution and security is just not necessary. All you've done is make our home look like a FREAKIN' ZOO!" He finished with a shout.
Both blinked at him, before Hunter spoke, shaking his head emphatically, "Oh no…the movie didn't make us do this...we're just trying to protect someone...its our mission!" Hunter reassured him.
Shawn eyed him a little uncertainly but said readily enough, "okay, that's good then..." Thinking, 'I was certain that movie had made them paranoid.'
Looking around he asked, casually, "so...who do we have to protect? Royalty? The President? Another dog perhaps?"
"No" they said in unison.
"Then…who?"
"You!" They again said in unison, pointing at Shawn.
Shawn stared at them, baffled, "Come again?" He finally asked, lifting one eye brow.
"When we saw that movie of teens dying we thought it was good to pay attention to signs so…" Exile began to explain, but was interrupted by Hunter.
"So we went to a Chinese restaurant and got a fortune cookie. It said, 'your son will suffer tomorrow!'...so we decided to give you more protection and keep you company until this day was over." Hunter finished.
Shawn's mouth fell open in stunned disbelief. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect this kind of reaction. "I stand corrected...the movie did affect them," he thought in a daze.
"It's okay, Shawn. We'll try and keep out of your way as much as possible but one of us will be by your side all day. Each will take a shift, starting with Shag," Hunter told him, smiling and giving his son a pat on the back.
"Oh joy!" Shawn said, sarcastically.
Shawn could only shake his head as his two fathers left the room and Shag came in with his breakfast. Rolling his eyes, he ate the cereal, toast, eggs, and bacon on the plate then went to his room to get dressed and putter about in his room. Things went alright at first and Shag did try to stay out of the teen's way but it was lunch when Shawn learned how bad this was going to be.
He was preparing to eat lunch and had reached for a knife to cut his steak that Shag had made for him when Shag immediately slapped his paw before he could pick it up.
"Huh? Why did you do that?" Shawn snarled angrily.
"Rah rhem rab rregh" Shang said in dog language.
"What do you mean I can't use a knife?"
"Rrgh rah rhe rrd"
"Sigh…fine, whatever," Shawn grumbled reaching for a fork, but Shag, once again, smacked his paw.
"Rreh rran rhem rghf"
"How in the hell can I poke my eye out with a freaking fork and….. you know...what never mind," Shawn shouted, thoroughly incensed by now. He reached for the steak, planning to eat it with his hand, however, Shag yanked it away.
Completely losing patience, Shawn roared, "...how am I going to eat the thing now?"
"Rreh.. rhey rtws ragh rrer" Shag explained then opened his mouth and began to chew on the steak though he didn't swallow any of it. Once he'd masticated it enough, he set it back on the plate again and said, "Rrag rra rf." Looking pleased with himself.
Shawn stared down in horror at the chewed up steak covered in saliva. "Eh! I am not eating that!
Glaring furiously at Shag, he snatched an apple and some chips then charged back to his bedroom and slammed the door.
When he dared to leave his room once more, he learned it was Colleen who was his new guard. He groaned mentally.
"Hi, Shawn...I need to give you a complete physical. Since you're not busy right now, lets just pop down to the medical room, shall we?" She said brightly.
There was no point in him saying no way when she could use her martial arts skills on him and haul his butt down there anyway. Grumbling unhappily, he followed her to the medic room. She indicated a bed and he gingerly climbed up on it, unhappily waiting for whatever she was going to do.
She smiled at him as she approached with a tongue depressor and a scope. "Okay, sweety, open wide..." she coaxed.
Grimacing he did as ordered, opening his mouth wide. She pressed his tongue down and told him, "now say ahhh..."
"Ahhhhhh...ack!" He choked as she tapped the back of his throat making him gag a little.
Removing the stick, she said cheerfully, "good boy….nothing unusual there."
She moved to a small table where she had his medical file open, made some notes, muttered to herself as she checked things off, "...flu...parvo...rabies...hmm...oh...you're late for your annual injection but we can fix that...stand up and turn around, love..." she ordered as she went to a cabinet and retrieved something. Moments later, she was holding a large bore needle filled with fluid.
"OH MY GOD IS THAT A NEEDLE OR A BAZOOKA….. for heaven sakes help me someone!" Shawn cried in terror, making a run for the door but being caught by Colleen very easily.
She had wrapped an arm around his waist, swung him bodily around until his stomach smacked the gurney and he was immediately shoved face first into the bed's surface. He woofed air and felt his pants being lowered.
"Sorry, sweetie, but this is for your own good," she said, quickly plunging the needle home and injecting the fluid.
"Owwww!" He yelled bloody murder.
Finally, after two hours worth of poking and prodding, Shawn was able to escape Colleen's clutches, and retreat to his bedroom, nursing a sore behind.
He had decided to take a nap after such a harrowing morning. He lay on his stomach to spare his still very sore butt. Before he could drop off, there came a light knock on the door.
"What?" He demanded, irritably, not willing to be even remotely nice at this point.
The door opened and Blitz came in. He went to a chair in the corner and dropped into it.
"Let me guess...you're next on guard duty?" Shawn said, resigned.
"Ja!"
"Wonderful. Well, you can just watch me sleep and no noise," he growled warningly. Blitz just nodded his head in agreement. Shawn sighed and turned his head away from the Dobie and tried to go to sleep
The room was quiet but gradually he began to hear something close to his head. It sounded like heavy breathing. He turned to see what it was and came face to face with Blitz.
"Ahhhh!" He cried, sitting up quickly then wailing as he landed on his sore butt on the floor beside the bed. Rubbing it, he glared at Blitz.
"Shawn! Are you okay?" Blitz asked in concern.
Shawn continued to give the Dobie a 'I will kill you' look as he growled out between clenched teeth. GET OUT OF MY ROOM...NOW!
Blitz blinked in surprise at the teen's furious face then wisely slipped out of the room.
Sighing in relief, Shawn finally managed to relax and get some sleep. When he woke up it was nearly dinner time but he was so pent up he felt a work out would mellow him out. He peered out his room cautiously but saw no one. Relieved, he scurried off for the training room.
Grabbing some boxing gloves, he went to where a practice dummy hung and began to kick and punch it. He sent a right kick to its face with one leg then followed up with a one-two punch, spun it around, using his elbow in its side.
He was feeling pretty good as he pummeled the dummy for more than an hour before someone finally found him.
"Shawn! There you are," Hunter's voice called out.
"Shit!" Shawn hissed to himself, wanting to left alone. The only thing he could do now was to ignore his dad. He made a swing at the dummy again but was halted by Hunter's paw in front of him.
"Whoa….what do you think you're doing? You could hurt your hands," Hunter said, concerned..
Shawn was gritting his teeth when he snarled, "Hello! I'm wearing boxing gloves. For the love of god…I'm not a pup anymore dad, leave me alone." He slammed past Hunter's paw and hit the dummy hard enough to make it swing wildly, nearly smacking his father who ducked away quickly.
"Ahh son, we know you aren't but you'll always be that cuddly pup in our hearts," he said, warmly.
Shawn stopped and stared at Hunter. "Cuddly?" He said flatly, a twitch beginning in his right eye. He hated being called, cute, cuddly, and fuzzy or anything else similar.
Hunter misunderstood his son's ire and came closer, pulling the wolf into a tight, super hug. "Yes, you're our cute, little, SNOWBALL," Hunter said, happily.
Shawn snapped and tried to punch, bite, and kick Hunter but was locked tightly by the hug. "I am not cuddly and definitely not a cute snowball," he barked furiously.
Hunter ignored all the violent moves as he hugged with his left arm and used his right paw to begin scratching Shawn's ear nearest him. "Who's a good boy," Hunter cooed.
"I…I not a….aw I give…..I am, scratch harder...please" Shawn whined, unable to resist the wonderful scratching, his tail wagging happily.
When he finally got free of his dad and the humiliation of being treated like a puppy, he went to the living room to wait for dinner. There he found Exile watching a sponge commercial. It switched to a news broadcast and the first thing out of the TV anchors mouth was an incident about a sponge...someone slipping on it and dying. Exile, of course, took the warning to heart and told the whole team who had arrived just behind Shawn about the dangers of dropped sponges.
That was what broke the last bit of Shawn's patience. His fists were clenched as he shouted, "For the love of god! You guys are such idiots. For the last time...all that stuff you watched was not real...it was a movie. If you don't drop this crap right now...I will slap every single one of you until I manage to slap some damn sense into you!"
They all stared at him with innocent expressions. His shoulders dropped in defeat and he turned away to leave saying, "forget this...it just isn't worth getting worked up about any longer."
He stepped out of the living area and stepped on a wet sponge that someone had just dropped and went sliding. Despite the bubble wrapped floor, the sponge slipped across it with ease. Shawn went "woah" before flying forward and landing on his face.
"Shawn NO!" All the Rovers screamed, running toward the fallen wolf, so afraid he might be dead.
"Son speak to me," Exile cried, reaching the teen first. He picked him up and turned him over to stare in his face, shaking him hard. The teen was out cold but Exile thought he was dead. He hugged him to his chest and began crying hysterically.
Shawn however, woke rather quickly only to find himself struggling to breathe. Desperately, he swatted at his father's face to get his attention while he began to turn blue.
"Exile let go!" The other Rovers shouted.
"Huh?" Exile opened his eyes, and gave them a startled look. Only then did he realize Shawn was desperately trying to get him to let go and let him breath. His eyes wide, Exile quickly opened his arms but didn't let go. "Shawn... you're alive!" He cried with relief..
"Yes! But I'm going to die for real if you don't let me go!" Shawn gasped.
"Oh no! I'm not letting you go...not yet!" Exile said, hugging but not as tight as before and licking his son's face.
Shawn was forced to endure the attention of Exile then all the others when he was finally released. Shag timely call to dinner was the only reason he was finally able to escape their understandable but unwanted over protection. He made a point of staying in his room the rest of the evening and warned the Rovers to remove all the crap on the floor before Grandpa ended up suffering a mishap in the night. By the next morning, he carefully left his room and noted the cleared floors with relief and not a dog in sight.
To prevent a repeat of that disastrous day, Shawn burned every horror movie he had. He was hardily tired of attempting to explain the differences between what was real and what wasn't to a bunch of dogs.
AN: Please Review! If this gives you an idea write it!
