The memories still haunted her. It's been at least ten years since Akiza had been to high school and she was still stalked by her peers. "Witch!" one of them would call out and the others would follow. Their name calling would plague her until she finally screamed and –
But they didn't mean to. Did they? They didn't know any better, right? After all, they were only scared of what was different than them. Even so, that still didn't justify what they did. She was scared. In fact, she still was. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to control her powers and end up hurting someone that she for so long tried to love –
No, that wasn't the right word. She didn't love anyone. She didn't love anyone because no one loved her enough to be there for her when she needed it the most. She didn't love anyone because no one in the entire world loved her. She could understand why, too.
It was destiny. She was meant to be alive for only so long. She was meant to be alive only long enough to fulfill her purpose as a Signer. No one loved her because they didn't understand her. No one wanted to understand her. She understood all of the other Signers now, even Yusei. They didn't actually love her. They didn't care about her. They just wanted her to stick with them long enough to defeat those that would try to take over the world.
She was meaningless. "Witch!" echoed the voices of the children so long ago in her head. She had almost killed someone with her powers. She didn't mean to, though. It was just that she hadn't learned to control her powers but now she could.
Akiza sat alone in the garden. She had been there for a few hours, remembering every horrible word anyone ever said to her. No one loved her. Her dad would never spend time with her. It was a horrible thing to be a father and never spend time with your daughter. If he had spent time with her, she would have thought that he actually cared about her.
She blinked once and took a few seconds to come to awareness. Something nudged at her thigh. Looking down, she saw it was a rose. She tried picking it up but she could only raise it so high. The stem of the rose fell so far as to be divided into two separate branches of creepers. Each creeper extended in its own direction. As she watched the length of it, the creeper slowly became wider until it crept under the bushes.
She returned to the rose, still held in her hand. It made her think of herself. It was a beautiful rose and did not deserve the right to be denied freedom by the creepers. It was being pulled in two directions and struggled to live against its detaining. Eventually, after facing so much hardship, it would wither away of oxygen and food. Eventually someone may come along and tug on one of the creepers, breaking the rose in two.
Was this her destiny? Was she just like this poor rose? She was supposed to be beautiful but would face so much deprivation she could not live? Was she meant to be pulled in different directions and one day, shatter into a million tiny pieces, petals and all lying on the ground?
She didn't think she could bear it. Her eyes started burning and she fell forward onto her elbows. She let go of the rose and scratched and clawed at the dirt. The dirt stained the bandages along her arms, even despite their dark color. She watched as her tears slowly descended to the dirt. This was the amount of pain she was being caused. She was being violated by those who called her names in the past.
"Witch! Witch! Witch!" sang the chorus in her mind.
The pain was enough for Akiza. She couldn't let the beautiful rose suffer the same thing. She looked at it, and raised her closed hand in an arcing motion. She could feel the vibrations of the rose from underneath her arm, shivering and scared. The burning in her eyes grew to a painful hammering. She threw her arm down in that same arcing motion, not closing her eyes and not flexing her body to the blow.
"Akiza!"
She stopped. The voice sounded so familiar. She waited and the voice rang again. There were running footsteps in the large garden. She could hear branches being thrown aside and someone ducking underneath large roses. Someone was coming for her, she could hear them. Someone cared about her. No, someone cared about the rose.
She sat up onto her knees and turned to the source of the noise. In front of her, she saw him: Yusei.
He was wearing his black shirt with the red symbol that he usually wears. Escaping the clutch of his eyes, she saw his arms were branded with blood. He hadn't been wearing a jacket when he entered the garden. Had he scratched and fought his way through for a beautiful rose?
She tried to fight her longing to not look in his eyes but she couldn't. She tore her gaze from his arms and fell through his eyes. He had blue eyes, but they were more of a cerulean. He held a worried expression, very serious and protective, but deep in his eyes she knew. He came here for a rose, but it wasn't the one she was thinking of. He came here for her.
"Akiza," he said softly, his chest rising. "I'm glad I found you. My mark was glowing and I thought you were in trouble."
Her gaze averted from him.
She could not tell him because he wouldn't understand. She tried so hard to hold back the tears and her hands clenched in frustration. This was Yusei. He wouldn't understand why she was still remembering the past. He wouldn't understand why the voices of those that hurt her were still tracing their way into her consciousness.
"You're crying." It wasn't a question.
She looked up at him and it hurt. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted him to know. It was so hard because she didn't know if he would end up like everyone else. She wanted to know, but she couldn't, unless if she gave him a chance. And she couldn't do that.
She heard a crunch as Yusei stepped forward.
"Get back, Yusei! Don't come near me!"
He stopped.
"I want to know why you're crying. I'm your friend, Akiza. I want to know what's bothering you?"
"Just my friend?" she spoke out without meaning to. She clapped her hand to her mouth as though she said an evil word. She threw her head down, unable to meet the question in his eyes.
"Akiza –" he started.
"Get back, Yusei!" The sound of whips slashing could be heard. There was a crumbling from around the roses but there was no one there. Suddenly, there were creepers all around her. They were facing her direction, ready to take down their master.
For a second, Yusei was stunned silent. "Don't do it, Akiza." He was very harsh on the word "don't". Yusei had that kind of ability where he could have so many emotions at once but his face couldn't be read. He just looked at her with a determined expression.
Akiza slowly looked up from the ground and, as soon as she met his eyes, she scolded herself away. There was no way that he would be with her. There was no way that he even liked her. She never gave him the challenge duel of a lifetime. She never enjoyed the thrill, but Yusei was all about that. So… was there no way that she could be with him?
Her body flexed and her heart hardened. The slashes of whips could be heard in the distance. With all of her might, she turned away and listened to the whips. One of them struck Yusei hard across the face. She heard him wince and she couldn't help herself. A tear fell from her eye. Two tears fell from her eyes. Her eyes started watering.
She looked up and saw that he was still standing. Immediately her tears were erased and the cold darkness in her eyes had returned. His hand was covering his cheek. He looked determined still and his hand fell to his side. That's when she saw it. It was a deep gash on his cheek. She could see that there were even thorns in his cheek.
She did that. She didn't mean to. She didn't want to. She hurt Yusei, though, and there was no way that he could forgive her. "I'm sorry, Yusei," she cried. She closed her eyes and braced herself. A whip slashed across the clearing and smacked her in the face. She cried out.
"Akiza, what are you doing?"
Her eyes turned to him and for once she could see deep inside. He was open. Of all people that he knew, he was opening to her. Why was he doing that, though? He was opening to her, even after she forced a vine to slap him. There was no way she could forgive herself for this.
"I'm punishing myself, Yusei," she answered. "I can't do this anymore. I can't hurt people anymore, especially not the ones I love!"
Her eyes closed and she waited for the slash of the whip. There was something holding it back, though. She opened her eyes and it was Yusei. He was bleeding. His hand was bleeding. He caught the whip before it could take her out and he was struggling to keep it from hitting her.
A breath of shock escaped her and the whip escaped his hand, shrinking back to where it came from. She stared up at him and couldn't take it anymore.
"WHY?! Why would you hurt yourself like that, Yusei?! I'm not worth it. I'm not worth saving. I hurt people. I kill people. You can't be with someone like me. You can't love someone like me… And I can't be with someone like you."
She fell to her knees and began to weep. "I can't do this anymore, Yusei. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a rose that was destined to die. And I'm in love with one of the greatest people I've ever met. I can't live like this anymore, destined to die and living through the pain. IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!"
The entire world came crashing down on her. She exposed so many of her thoughts. She exposed everything that was bothering her. She exposed it all to the one guy that could understand her. She exposed it all to the one guy that wanted to understand her. It was a waste of emotion. Her entire life was plagued with fear and yet she still lived. Her world was over and she cried for what seemed like hours.
Once she couldn't cry anymore, her heart aching in pain, her eyes adjusted to the scene. Yusei's boots were still in front of her. She looked up at him and he stood there with his hand pressed outward. The usual smile was on his face; the one he had when he acted like there were no hard feelings. It was the one he had when he was around his guy friends.
She guessed that's all she was to him: just another friend. He didn't love her like she loved him. He only loved her as a friend, maybe a sister at the most. There was no way that she could live like this. All she wanted to do was hold him in his arms and have him understand the way she wanted him to.
"Need a hand?" he asked, almost laughing. She hardened her heart and took his hand. Pushing herself onto her feet she grabbed the separated rose and showed Yusei, her friend.
Instead, he pulled her hips into him and kissed her hard on the lips. She dropped the rose on the ground and returned with a hard kiss. It seemed like forever that they kissed for. "I love you," Yusei told her.
"I love you, too. But what about the rose?"
"Some roses are meant to live," he said, and kissed her again.
