-1Have you ever noticed that when you are like really really upset or when like you are really bored you get ideas to write and expand on?! Well I'm not really bored at the moment more upset but anyway this is one of my normal start with a song Fic then expand and I will hopefully update the other fic's ASAP! (Holidays coming Up!) But I've had major Block!

It has been two years. Two years since the code appeared on the back of her neck. Its Letters its not a date. We've been living on the fear that when we wake up she'll be limp, that soon I will have to take control and the fear that we'd have lost our mother/Sister like figure. That code, its the Same Yesterday, always. AK FR MKIO Its in the right format for a date but we can't work it out. We've come up with 111-518-1311915 But that's not a date its a bunch of numbers. Angel and Gasman have become Distant. Nudge stops talking every time she enters the room and Iggy he just sits there now.

But as I said that was two years ago that it appeared, the small amount of whitecoats left are all confirming that Max is going to Die soon and that no one can stop it. She's Defied it this far, but she's changed she's mostly locked in her room thinking that if she hides there when she dies it won't hurt any less. She tried to leave a few times but she couldn't take herself away from the flock.

They said you wouldn't make is so far uh uh
And ever since they said it, it's been hard
But never mind the nights you had to cry
Cause you have never let it go inside
You worked real hard

The White coats expected her to expire any day when we were caught last time that's why they left her uncaged so they could examine her. Bastards! We've found it so hard to cope with it cause as I've already rambled When Max leaves I have to step up and everyone and everything's changing at the moment. But I remember this one night Max was doing the dishes and she stop motionless so Gazzy poked her sides and I think he expected her to laugh and run after him but she turned and everyone saw the tears running down her cheeks. That's when the reality had hit us we were losing Max.

And you know exactly what you want and need
So believe and you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say…

All she's waned lately was for the rest of us to be safe even when the Flyboys 07 attack (Which is rare) she is the first and one time the only one that fought. She's still protective and fierce but she's different. She hasn't smiled in so long and she seems ashamed when she walks into the room where the Five of us are talking. But the whole flock knows that she's trying as hard as she can possibly be to keep us together and make this so much less painful.

I believe I can (I can)
I believe I will (I will)
I believe I know my dreams are real (know my dreams are real)
I believe I'll chant (Oh yea)
I believe I'll dance
I believe I'll grow real soon and (That's why)
That is what I do believe

I can not Imagine, though I have had two times in my life where I nearly died what Max is going through. Can you imagine going to sleep each night and not knowing if you are going to wake up? That at any moment alone or with company you could fall and be expired?! I mean the swipes from Ari were pain but she has to watch as she the woman whose held everything together but is still only a seventeen year old causes her family so much pain.

Your goals are just a thing in your soul uh uh
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine

I don't know her real goals if its to just Die as soon as possible or to survive as long as she can. Either way it is not doing anyone any good. I'm not being a pessimist okay, I'm just saying that if she just keeled over and died the pain would go through the flock as hard as a million burning hot swords right through our hearts. Out of all of this Max has become a quiet Mother like figure she cooks and cleans, shops and clothes us all. If I ever asked her what she was doing I think she would say Making a family that will survive everything. Always for everyone but this one this one is for her too the knowledge and satisfaction that we will survive would be enough for her, even as she went through hell.

Leave all of your cares and stress behind
Just let it go
Let the music flow inside
Forget all your pain
And just start to believe

We are still followed by what's left of Itex and the school but Max has us pretty covered in France so there's not really that stress anymore. She'll care and stress about us even when she is twelve feet under ground. That's what makes Max Max. I think if we had a religion even I would get on my knees and pray for Max. Every time we see Jeb he looks at Max with sympathy and she always snaps back "What you looking at Freak? I'm no pretty artwork!" And nearly knocks him off his feet as she walks past. But he is generally saddened by the fact that Max is going. As are Doctor Martinez who is constantly flying from America to France, in an Aeroplane, with Ella to see Max. Max purposely has something on. I don't think she is coping with all the sympathy and grief she if getting from everyone due to her code.

I believe I can (I believe I can oh yea)
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real (All of my dreams are real)
I believe I'll chant
I believe I'll dance (I got to dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and (ooo)
That is what I do believe

She believes she is so correct by pushing us away and trying to act tough but I've known her for nearly 17 years I know her perfectly I know when she can't handle things she goes for a fly that when she is sad she takes over 30 minutes in the Shadows and that when people pity her she retaliates with Sarcasm and becomes extremely angry. She doesn't deserve it.

Never mind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all our hopes and dreams
I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up I'll keep it up
Look into the sky
I will achieve all my needs
I will always believe….OoOo

She always told us who cares what others say as long as we don't walk about each other behind the flocks back we're fine. Yet now she taking everything personally. Everything Ella, Her Mum, Jeb and the flock says. I think she is going to go insane before she dies. I sound so harsh talking about the female who has my heart. I love the night when she comes in and she lays down and we just lay in silence together but there's not many of those anymore. She won't vent so she more into sprinting and scolding showers.

I believe I can
I believe I will (I can)
I believe I know my dreams are real (I got strength)
I believe I'll chant
I believe I'll dance (I got to dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and (watch me watch me watch me)
That is what I do believe (I do believe in me)

She thinks self Punishment is what is best, but that's her belief. If I didn't' know Max as well as I did I would think she was extremely Fit or Suicidal. But I do know her and I know that she hiding everything inside. But I also know that sometimes you have to let it out, Remember after Jeb 'disappeared' she acting exactly like me except more domestic.

I believe I can
I believe I will (oh yea)
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I'll chant
I believe I'll dance (I got to dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe (I do believe! yayeeyay)

She's my Max yet she seems so Unhappy and it hurts because I can't change it. I can't pick it up and throw it away. Its not something Antibiotics can work on and its nothing that can be reversed. Max is dieing and she is helpless.