Once again, I'm coming home from work in the middle of the night. When I had picked up some shifts at the bar during the week Jess wasn't thrilled about it but she didn't argue. She said she knew it made me happy and that her and the kids would adjust. Our kids are older now and sleep through the night so there shouldn't be much adjusting.

Although, Owen had been sneaking it our bed a lot lately. Owen is 4 now and still clings to Jess every chance he gets. At times I can't say I haven't felt a tinge of jealousy as he steals her hand from mine. I love our kids more than anything. For crying out loud I get to say I made children with the best girl in the word! How often do people get that? I just miss the times when it was just me and Jess. We didn't exactly wait to have kids, Kaydence sort of happened out of the blue. We both were nervous and scared but when Kaydence entered this world my own universe shifted. I had my girls now and nothing or no-one was going to hurt them. When Owen was born I could instantly see that shift in Jess's eyes. Now she had her boys, and I had my girls. We were an unstoppable force, a team...the four of us.

I walk over to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I had realized shortly after the kids were born that Jess had something going when she said tea helped her relax. I made myself some tea with chamomile, and mint and whatever other fancy stuff was in it. I sat at the island on one of the stools looking around at the loft. I'm usually asleep at this hour and the place looks different as I scan the living room. Toys are strewn everywhere, blankets stretched out on the couch, fingerprints on the tv and sticky stuff on every surface. I laugh at the scene before me. Things changed in the blink of an eye it seems.

I finish my tea and head off to bed. I slowly open the door, stopping right before the spot where the hinges start to creak. As I emerge, I can see Jess's form in the moonlight, lying peacefully wrapped around my pillow. I lift the covers and crawl in next to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into my chest, replacing my pillow. She stirs and looks me in the eye.

"Hey baby, I missed you." She says groggily. It's my saving grace. Even after 11 years together she still misses me when I'm gone.

"I missed you too, now go back to sleep." I reply stealing a kiss from her lips.

She smiles and closes her eyes once more. I spend a few moments looking at her face, caressing the skin of her soft cheek.

"Daddy...daddy...daddy!" I'm woke with a panic, sitting straight up in my bed, scanning the room for the sound. I scan to my left and see the small shadow of a figure standing next to me. Oh...it's Owen.
"What's up buddy" I rub my eyes to see him better. I didn't realize I fell asleep holding Jess. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah", I look at him and he starts crying. Immediately I know why. Lately when he's come in our room I shake my head and order him back to bed. This is our bed, and the one time I get Jess all to myself. He has to learn to sleep in his bed eventually. He looks at me with those big blue eyes that resemble his mother's and my heart drops in my chest. I hear Jess's words ringing in my ears. "He's just 4 Nick! He's not going to be little forever. Owen is our last kid and I want to enjoy every minute before he wants nothing to do with me."

"Hey don't cry, come here." I say to him lifting my blankets so he can climb in. He wraps his little arm around my side and snuggles his little chin into my chest. He smells of baby shampoo and lavender. I breathe him in, realizing that I haven't held him like this in a long time. With traveling and picking up a shift at the bar I haven't seen the kids as often as I'd like.

"I'm sorry I waked you up, Daddy. I had a bad dream and you weren't there. I missed you Daddy."

"Aww bud, I missed you too. I always do. And that dream wasn't real, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

I gently rub his back calming my little man down. I hear Jess stir behind me once more. "Owen, what are you doing in here. Nick is he okay?" Jess reaches over and rubs Owen's splash of brown hair.

"Yah he's fine, he missed me." I grin at her even though she can barely see it. For once the boy wanted me and not her. HAH!

"Of course he did, we all miss you."

Jess wraps her arms behind me, and fits her face into the concave between my shoulders. Tears start to prick my eyes suddenly as the weight of what I have hits me. I understand what Jess has been saying all along. My little man curled up wrapped in my arms, my wife snoring gently behind me and me smack dab in the middle with no space to sleep, burning up due to all of the body heat, and I don't care. I don't care if I get any sleep tonight because in this moment I'm satisfied with the love my family has for me. How did I get this lucky? I don't deserve Jess, or Kaydence or Owen. They're all too good for me but for right now I'll count my lucky stars that they love me back.

This is the life.