I felt the crisp freezing wind hit my fingertips sending shivers down my spine. It's fucking freezing out here. I thought to myself as I continued to lean over the deck to the cabin in which my best friend and a few other people including my uncle and mother had occupied. I say had, because not all of us were here anymore. I heard the door creak open behind me as I immediately turned around feeling my skittish side kick in. It's just Luke. I thought turning back around and calmly falling back into my original position staring down at my hands instead of into the nothingness of the forest in front of me. I watched as two arms not far away from mine leaned over the railing just as I was. It was silent. No crickets interrupting the peace, No moaning and groaning lurkers begging to be put out of their misery, No gunshots blaring off in the distance. Nothing. Pure. Silence. We sat there, Or... stood, There for a long while until Luke had finally spoken up after two whole days of staying silent to me.

"I'm sorry man." I heard him mumble. I looked over to him. The guy I had known for damn well twenty-years now.

"'Bout what?" I asked my hopes the highest they had been in weeks... months... years. I snapped out of my thoughts and spun my attention back to my friend. Luke was a strong-ish guy, Who could quickly move past deaths, and sicknesses, and everything that was a weak point for me basically. He didn't drink, Well... that was a lie. He DID drink, Just not a whole lot anymore, Didn't smoke, Neither did I though after all. I felt my eyes try to fall shut but forced them back open as I watched the light blue sky turn pink, Then orange, Then red, Then a very deep shade of navy blue that was only defined by the shining crystal white moon in which was illuminating the entire sky, Along with the iced over grass below it. The moon had such a big responsibility, And even though I knew the moon was not alive, It still struck me as amazing and heroic as it could fill in such big responsibilities. 'Don't shine so bright that the sky is crystal blue like yourself', 'Don't shine on cloudy stormy nights at all for that matter'. It all seems highly highly irrelevant I'm sure considering this is not a story about allusions and magic, and the deep thoughts that go through my mind as much as the fact that the fucking world was, or IS in ruins and the dead are walking, Biting and infecting more people each day, Making more dead, Just so the cycle can start over again. But the dead were NOT the problem in the ruined world now, Believe it or not. The living were. You had NO clue who you could trust anymore. You knew you could trust family... But for how long until they turned against you, Crazy and an emotional wreck? Why did they turn crazy and into pure emotional destruction for both themselves and the people around them you ask? A side effect to the ruined world around them. A side effect to losing more people each day. A side effect of taking in all this shit that humans weren't meant to have to go through or else they'd go crazy. Why did they take it in anyways though, Just to end up crazy in the end? So they could live. The funny part about living now a days was that there was no point. And I made sure to tell this to Luke. He, being as dubious as he is didn't seem to get why I said there was no point in life anymore. It was too painful to explain to him, But I did. For survival, For trust. Taking in more shit that people were never meant to take in, Barley having time to absorb what life has thrown at us before they throw more of the same horseshit at us. Death, Bites, Sickness, More Death, Hunger, Pain... Love. Love was the one thing that had seemed to survive the rest of the world collapsing around it. Not because there were hopeless romantics out there still who actually WERE hopeless now. Not because love was a 'sacred miracle' or 'guilty pleasure' or any of that crap. Because there was no controlling it. There was no controlling love, just as there was no controlling of the dead rising, and more and more people dying making more of them. They all seemed to have the same trait which I could NOT for the life of me figure out. Immunity? Nah, that wasn't it. Couldn't be because there was no immunity that lurkers had that regular people didn't. You shoot 'em both in the brain and neither of them get up. Humanity no longer, as if it ever did, have that trait of surviving the worst of the worst so it could NOT be immunity on many different levels, for many different reasons. My worst fear was not dying, nor was it being bitten, or any of that stuff. It was diseases, diseases and infections and sicknesses that no-one seemed to care about anymore. No-one except Carlos, but I'm going to be honest here. If Carlos's daughter weren't here right now he would have NO concern for making sure everyone was healthy and 'Happy'.

"Nick are you really okay?" I heard Luke's soft warming voice echo through the silence once again, My 'logical' thoughts, Basically just analyzing life in the most depressing way possible, Were broken as I heard a voice that had always been nice, Always been warm and caring, and loving enter my ears. But something snapped. Oh great. I was doing it too now. I was becoming that one person who has ONE bad thing happen to them, Ya know? That one person I mentioned earlier, Who takes in more stuff than humanity was meant to and then becomes socially crazy but still mentally sane. I don't know if that makes sense to you but then again you ARE my thoughts so...

"No I am not FUCKING OKAY!" I shouted, Each second after hating myself more, and more, and more.

"Whoa, Calm down there buddy." Luke said backing away from me his arms out so I didn't cross, I guess a little 'boundary'? He had set up between him, and I.

"I- fuck me..." I muttered under my breath. "I'm sorry Luke! Somethin' snapped, alright? I just- I didn't mean it. Okay?" I asked hearing my own sorrow in my voice. I hated it when that happened but just as the millions of dead, UNdead, and, Well... Love of course, it was uncontrollable.

"It- It's fine Nick. I'd be pretty pissed if one of my friends had brought someone back that killed my moth-" He stopped there, and I could tell why. He thought it was a sensitive topic with me. But for fuck's sake Luke, EVERY GODDAMNED THING IS A SENSITIVE TOPIC WITH ME!