CLOUD, EVAPORATING
.
Contrary to popular belief (those
Baseless rumours about the SOLDIER lockers)
And despite the many chances that came his way
(heaven-sent opportune nights in wayside inns),
Cloud was a virgin when Tifa
Made love to him under the Highwind.
Cid and Barret could tell this just by looking.
That's why they laughed. She wanted to give him
More than a reason to fight, a reason to live,
And the strength to resist the gentle tugging
Of Aerith's ghost hand, clamped round his wrist.
.
Ironically, he could have died happy, then.
All his dreams had come true! A whole man at last!
But she held on to him
And he held on to her.
And their protean love, which had borne seed
After passing through fire, and had flourished
In a world made of magic and shooting stars,
Through long years of separation and danger,
Amnesia, schizophrenia, kleptomania,
And suspicions of consorting with the enemy,
And doubt and fear and hunger and nights on the hard ground;
This love, which had wrestled with monsters, defied extremes of heat
And cold, plumbed subterranean depths in stolen submarines,
Plunged into death's river to fetch other back –
.
This love could not survive
The pinpricks of domesticity.
The forgetting to take the garbage out.
The forgetting of anniversaries.
The socks left to fester in a corner.
The oily footprints on her kitchen floor.
The washing up before bed-time.
The unpunctuality and unexplained absences,
The dinner parties ruined by his moods.
The unpaid bills, the unkept promises
[There's a limit to how much any woman will forgive].
The children, oh god, and not even their own children.
Denzel's nightmares and bedwetting.
Marlene calling out to her in the darkness
Just when he'd coaxed her into some sex.
[She couldn't ignore a phone ringing, either.]
.
He wasn't surprised when his despair finally
Came to the surface and showed on his skin.
Their neediness was salt in his wounds.
Her eyes scoured him. So he went
Into the place where he always falls
When he can't hold on any longer.
