Summary: You come to me with scars on your wrist. You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this…Mild Slash, SSHP, self-harm, language.
Warnings: Self-harm, language?
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.
Now Introducing…*drumroll*
The Last Night
Harry stared as the cut on his wrist oozed blood. But somehow, this time, it didn't give him the satisfaction that it usually did.
The war was over. Voldemort was dead, his Death Eaters gone, except for a few who had been granted freedom. The Malfoys, for example. Narcissa's lie to Voldemort had saved the family from Azkaban.
But now, Harry wasn't so glad that he had survived. Why couldn't he have died with Voldemort?
This was to be the last night that he lived. Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Never-Really-Got-A-Chance-to-Live, would be defeated that night. Not by the hands of a crazed villainous madman, but from a few cuts to his wrists.
Oh, there were other scars too. But this was the first, and only time, he would go this far.
Harry fingered the single chain on his neck, a gift from an old friend. Severus. It was just a silver thing, nothing too delicate or special, but his father would surely be rolling in his grave if he saw this.
James would definitely be rising from the grave if he knew his son's feelings for the "snarky bastard."
Severus, despite popular belief, did not die during the final battle. Instead of waiting for the poison to kill him, after Harry left, he had transformed into his Animagus form, a bat, and had simply flown away. He had gone to one of the older Prince manors, and had contacted Harry after he had heard that Voldemort was dead. Of course, Snape had been mad, and somewhat guilty, that he had missed the final battle, but Harry quickly assured him that the battle wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.
Harry let the necklace flop back against his chest…but not before a drop of blood fell onto its gleaming surface.
He felt the jerking sensation in his gut- signaling the use of a Portkey- and the his surroundings around him vanished.
"What the-"
But Harry never got to finish the sentence. For one, the Portkey had arrived at its destination, second, he felt too nauseous and dizzy to do anything.
Harry thought he heard somebody mutter something to the extent of "Shit!" But he could have been hallucinating; he was too far gone to notice.
-XD-
Severus felt the marks along Harry's wrists where he'd tried to kill himself. The thought was gruesome in itself. How had the teen fallen that much?
The chain, obviously, had been a cleverly designed Portkey, made to take the user to his side. The thing was, it was activated by blood, in the hopes that if Harry ever got in trouble, he would be taken to him. Of course, he had never told the boy…man this. He would be offended.
You come to me with scars on your wrist.
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this…
A few days later, Harry woke up. Severus had had to put him in a magically-induced sleep at times, if only to keep away nightmares.
After the raven had gotten his strength back, he asked him gently, "Harry…why did it go this far?" He laid a hand on the shorter wizard's knee, and they both felt the flinch.
"I-I…" Harry's voice cracked. "I'm just tired. Tired of magic. Tired of living a half-life. T-Tired of everything. It- It just got to be too much."
He bowed his head, and Severus knew that he was trying to conceal tears.
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie.
Severus quickly drew the son of his best friend, and greatest school enemy, into his arms. He couldn't hide the faint attraction he felt for him, however much Harry looked like the once-bane of his existence. He felt like a pedophile, but couldn't bring himself to truly care.
"It doesn't have to be like that, Harry," he soothed, rubbing circles into said man's back. "The world is harsh and unfair, but it doesn't always have to be."
He drew away, and made Harry look him in his eyes. Inside, his mind was blown by the sheer emotion swirling in the boy…man's viridian depths.
Slowly, as not to scare the fragile child-like creature in front of him, he leaned forwards…and kissed Harry's thick, full, pink lips.
Inwardly gasping at the wonder in those eyes, he made a promise. "I'll always be there for you. You'll never have to be alone again, for as long as you live."
And he pulled the shell-shocked man in front of him into another deep, emotion-filled hug.
This is the last night you'll spend alone.
Look me in the eyes so I know you know,
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be.
Sometimes, Harry would remember things, have terrible flashbacks and panic attacks, remembering his uncle.
Summer after Fifth Year
"Boy! Get down here!" Vernon yelled from the foot of the stairs.
Harry, with a sense of dread, stood up from his spot on the bed and slowly made his way down the hallway and to the stairs.
"Hurry your ass up," his uncle growled when he saw him. "You freaks are always doing something wrong, or causing unnecessary trouble."
The small teen's eyes glazed over with tears; ever since Sirius died, his emotions had been showing a lot more often.
His aunt Petunia and cousin Dudley were out for the day…which meant Vernon basically could do whatever he wanted with him.
And today, his uncle looked extremely bloodthirsty.
And indeed he was. As soon as Harry was in an arm's distance of his uncle, he was struck with a blow to his face, making him fall against the steps- altogether making him more susceptible to his uncle's attacks raining down on his already malnourished body.
With every hit, his uncle would lean over and say, "This is all you fault. All the deaths, everything." It just got worse over time.
Your uncle says everything is your fault,
But he don't know you like I know you- he don't know you at all.
One time, Harry actually had gone to one of his teachers in primary school for help. But she had been cold and uncaring, patting him on the head, telling him that it was okay, and sending him off, not listening to his protests.
I'm so sick of when they say,
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. You're fine,
But I know it's a lie.
But every time that a flashback or panic attack would occur, Severus would always be the one to draw him out of it, and the one to hold him afterward, telling him that it was alright, that everything was fine, that he would never leave him, not ever.
This is the last night you'll spend alone.
Look me in the eyes so I know you know,
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be.
The last night away from me.
But then, one night, Severus fell ill. Seriously ill. But then, throughout the entire night, and into the morning, Harry held his hand and prayed to whatever god was listening. Never leaving him. Never giving up. Never giving up on him, like countless others had.
The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand I will help you hold on
Tonight,
Tonight.
It had become a sort of ritual, even after they had gotten married. Every night, Severus would hold Harry, and tell him it was alright, that he would always be there. And that was just how it was. Forever, for one moment in time.
This is the last night you'll spend alone.
Look me in the eyes so I know you know,
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be.
But the end was inevitable. Severus saw it coming long before Harry ever did. He was getting old, as much as he hated to admit it. And he hated that he would have to let Harry go.
He lay on his soon-to-be deathbed, watching his beloved husband weep. "Harry," he croaked, hating how his voice sounded so…weak.
The raven-haired man came closer, tears staining his forever-perfect cheeks. "Y-Yes, Severus?"
"Don't blame yourself."
"B-But you're d-dying," Harry sobbed, choking on his tears. After all these years, he still hadn't lost the innocent, child-like look, and he never would.
"This isn't goodbye, Harry. I'll see you soon."
And with that, Severus Tobias Snape, Half-Blood Prince and husband of Harry James Potter, breathed his last breath in the human world.
I won't let you say goodbye.
I'll be your reason why…
Sobbing his tender heart out, Harry sat heavily down on the bed next to his consort, lover, and supporter.
But then, he saw his lover's wand. It laid there, haunting him with it's very existence.
Heart thumping, hands shaking, he leaned over to pick it up.
Pointing the tip at his heart, he muttered the two words that would end his life on Earth forever.
"Avada Kedavra."
The last night away from me.
Away from me…
And somewhere up in Heaven, a black-eyed man smiled as a viridian-eyed man joined him, their souls intertwined together for eternity.
-XD-
Slightly EDITED: 5/29/12
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Tigertopaz- Titanium Banana
