Degrassi, September 22nd, 2002
I looked beside me and saw an angel lying next to me on the top of my hearse. The same hearse that where ever I go I get judgmental stares and whispers that I pretend to not hear, the same hearse I named Morty, the same Hearse where I ran over my Angel's old glasses. Clare was my personal angel; I wasn't one to believe in God or any higher power than ourselves by that matter of fact. She helped me believe in myself to follow my dreams to become a writer. Clare is my muse, my inspiration, my everything.
I studied my Clare's expression as she stared into the night. Her expression was calm and insightful like she was constantly thinking about something. Clare is always trying to solve a problem, that's one of the reasons why I love her so much. Her light golden brown short curly hair was pressed against the hood of Morty. Her pale ivory skin looked beautiful under the moonlight of the sky. Her eyes, her breathe taking blue eyes that makes me so nervous when she looks into my eyes. It was silent all you can hear is the music from the radio playing subtly in the background. It was amazing how we don't have to say a word and not have to feel awkward or bored. I was satisfied by her presence alone. I moved a piece of her hair out of her face the electricity running through my hand as I touched her.
She giggled as she said, "What are you thinking about?"
Her blue eyes locked onto my green eyes making me nervous but comfortable at the same time.
"I love you Clare Diane Edwards."
Her whole expression lit up to my words I have finally confessed to her and myself. I knew I love her but saying it out loud was whole different thing. I was a problem with a damaged past not even Clare can even solve me.
"I love you too Elijah Goldsworthy" She said moving closer to me our noses and foreheads were touching.
I kissed her…our lips moved in a rhythm like we were created a song. I was deeply in love with this girl and nothing can change that. She made the air taste a little bit better the sky look a brighter shade of blue. She deserved better she was too good for me and I will never forget that.
…..
New York, November 14th 2010
My alarm clock woke me up. A screaming sensation hit my head….great another hangover I thought. I looked over next to me a fake blonde naked girl asleep, I kind of felt sorry for her I only used her to forget about…..her.
It's been 5 years since Clare and I broke up. I still love her with everything I have. She moved on she's dating some hot shot Doctor, Adam told me. Adam is the only friend I stayed in contact since I became a bestselling author and moved to New York. I don't blame Clare for moving on it has been 5 years.
I haven't moved on.
Everyday I'm constantly reminded about Clare. I try to forget about her by using my distractions which included alcohol and naked sluts.
I'm 24 year old bestseller in a fancy apartment in New York. I'm in the middle of writing a highly anticipated sequel to my book….but I seem to be having writer block, Ever since I lost my muse, my Clare.
I suddenly got the urge to drink my almost empty scotch in my kitchen. I got up to cure my broken heart.
I was drinking the last bit of scotch as my agent, Frank walked in.
"Eli, you have the book signing today!" He yelled pointing down to my attire
I rubbed my head as I shushed him telling him with my actions I have a hangover.
"Good morning to you too, Frank" I said in my usual sarcasm
"Eli….Eli…what am I going to do with you?" he asked wiping the sweat from his brow.
" Frank…Frank…. I need you to do me a favor?" I motioned towards my bedroom with a smirk.
Frank closed his eyes and sighed, "I'll get rid of her" Before he left he added
"Your Mother called she said it was an emergency"
I nodded as I tilted my head in confusion. I talked to my mother last night everything seemed fine. I got my phone out and dialed her number.
"Eli!" my mother answered almost immediately, her tone sounded like she has been crying.
"Mom, what's wrong? Are you alright?" I answered in frenzy.
"I'm alright…..But your Father" she said braking down in a sob.
Dad,
"What the matter with Dad?"
My Father and I never exactly got along and I moving away from Degrassi to New York didn't help either.
"He…..had…a…Stroke." My sweet mother said in between sobs.
My world seemed to stop, my heart beat seem to be only sound I could hear.
"Is he alright" I was trying to hold back the tears
"He's alive." She said I could hear her relieved smile in her voice.
"I'm just so scared, Elijah." I can hear her tears star up again…it pained me not being there to comfort her.
I took a large breathe…
"I'm coming home."
