I do not own DC, CW or Marvel characters

A/N Okay believe it or not I need a break every now and then from the seriousness that is Seeing Red. This is just me playing around, kind of like I did with Vigilantes after Call Me Kara. These will be short chapters, just updated when Seeing Red Kara pushes me past my breaking point as she often does. Take it for what's it worth, just a bit of humor, not to be taken seriously.

Chapter 1

"We can't take the risk. You can't take the risk. You have taken enough of a chance already, Mon El."

The man stared at the woman he loved, the one who was not his wife, in disbelief. Reign was somewhere, planning who knew what, the same Reign that nearly killed Kara, in addition to a new World Killer and Kara was telling him she did not want his help.

"Kara, we decided to take this risk. We are even talking about waking up more…"

"No." the blonde told him. "Alex told me about these plans you have hidden in your DNA. I'm not sure what the wisdom of that was, but you have all risked enough. I've talked to Barry enough to know about the dangers of messing with the past. Just being here, me seeing you, using your ship to get to Fort Rozz, those are all things that have no doubt changed your future. We can't take any more chances."

Kara began to walk away until she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Kara, you cannot defeat them alone. I know this hasn't been comfortable for any of us…"

"Stop." Kara told him, turning to face him and removing his hand. "Mon El, you had 7 years to move on and you did. I understand it. I realized while I was talking to Alex the other night that I'm finally getting over it. I need to move on as well. You being around all the time, Imra, having to see her, I am moving on and it would be a lot easier if you two, I mean three, went back to the ship, hid it somewhere and went back into cryo sleep. You have a mission to complete in the future. I am not going to risk that and honestly, I am having a hard time getting my head straight. You moved on. It's time for me to move on as well."

"You need help! You can't take on those two alone and what if there is another one? You cannot do this alone. Your sister and J'onn aren't enough." he told her, using one more argument. The man was determined to stay in this fight. The secret Imra told him had the man fuming but he couldn't let Kara know. Another secret he was forced to keep, for now.

"I know I need help. That's why I am about to open a breach and travel to Earth 1. Cisco, Barry, Caitlin, maybe Oliver. I might even be able to track down the Legends. I helped them fight off a Dominator invasion and a Nazi Invasion that included an evil me. They owe me one. Cisco can open a portal that Reign flies into and exits in one of our cells. His blasts could probably counter Purity's vibrations. I know Barry and I can take her, distract them both, long enough to lead them into one of his breaches. Once we are out, Barry or J'onn can phase the both of us out of the cell, leaving those two trapped. I think Winn has the cells reinforced now. A combination of red light and a massive amount of Kryptonite J'onn got from the Fortress, plus the metal Cadmus kept us caged in that time. I just need the right team and the team I need is on Earth 1."

"Our technology saved your life!" Mon El practically yelled as she walked off. Kara stopped at the door and looked back at him.

"I saw you and Imra in the training room before I left to fight Reign. Yeah, she may have beaten me regardless, probably would have, but my head wasn't in the right place. How do you know your presence here isn't affecting my future? I'm sorry, Mon El. I appreciate everything your Legion has done for us, but for both our sakes, the present and the future, this is the best option and you know it. I've made my decision. We all have."

Mon El was left alone as Kara walked out and he desperately wanted to hit something. Her reasonable explanation was killing him, as was her attitude. It was the attitude she should have, which of course came right after the realization that he still loved her, the admission to his lying wife and the fact that he was still married to her.

When the hell had his life not been complicated? Ever sense he got into that damn Kryptonian pod on Daxam his life had been turned upside down. He didn't regret it, he hated who he used to be, but caring, trying to do the right thing, it was hard, almost as hard as seeing Kara again, with his wife in tow.

Deciding he could perhaps talk her into letting him accompany her to Earth 1, he moved quickly into the main room where the breach would be opened by her. To his dismay, Alex was already prepared to accompany her.

"Be careful, you two." J'onn warned. "If you can't find them quickly, get back here. I don't like the two of you traveling universes. Every time you do it, something could go wrong. I need you both here more than we need help."

The two women assured him they would be safe and back soon. With a hug for both, J'onn stood back while Kara pointed the device in front of her.

The button pressed, a breach of some sort did appear. Only instead of a circle that Mon El had taken Kara through before, this seemed like a rip. A tremendous amount of energy was dancing along the rip and Kara grabbed Alex and moved her back quickly.

"Stay away from it!" Winn shouted, Brainy slipping in the seat next to him. "The breach is wrong, something is going wrong. That isn't a breach!"

Brainy looked over the data quickly, processing millions of scenarios in a second and only one made sense.

"It is a dimensional tear! Get away from it!" the Coluan shouted.

Kara kept a squirming Alex who was trying to pull her back, behind her and stood in front of the tear, prepared to absorb any energy that could be unleashed on the DEO.

What she did not expect was a hammer, hitting her in the gut followed by four bodies being tossed from the rift.

Opening her eyes, she realized a few things. First there was the offending hammer next to her head, on the floor. Second, every gun in the room was trained on the man on top of her.

Third, there was a man on top of her.

"Hello. I don't believe we have met. I'm Thor." he introduced himself with a grin.

"Hi Thor. Think you could get off me?" she asked.

The man's eyes widened, and he hopped up quickly, taking in the room. He found his comrades, the ones who had accompanied him on a short excursion to see the Dwarven Blacksmiths, lying on the ground. Loki was here, to his relief and annoyance. He often felt both in regard to his brother. Valkyrie appeared fine and Banner had not turned green yet, though the many guns pointed at him may change that if he did not take control of the situation.

"Hi? You are Shield, correct? Relax, it's just me. I know it's been a while, but the name is Thor? The haircut probably makes me a bit unrecognizable. Just got a new hammer as well. Could everyone put down their weapons? I'm the guy who saved New York, remember? I mean there were others but mostly me and…him." he finished, jerking a thumb at Banner.

"And Stark, Steve, Natasha, Clint…"

"Quiet Banner. I am trying to pacify them, so they don't feel threatened."

Looking down at Kara who was still lying on the floor, he offered a hand which she gratefully took, and he immediately noticed how strong her grip was. This was no ordinary mortal woman.

"Thank you, brother. Everything will be just fine, aye? Earth won't be angry at me. You dropped me in the middle of Shield headquarters?!" Loki hissed.

"Lower your weapons but stay ready." J'onn ordered, taking in the foursome that seemed way too relaxed for the situation they found themselves in.

"Could someone tell us where we are?" Valkyrie asked, strolling up to J'onn.

"You are in National City." he told her, taking in her strange silver garbs and noting the others were strangely garbed as well, except for the small man who looked a bit disheveled.

Valkyrie turned to Banner who shrugged his shoulders, never having heard of a National City.

"This is Earth, correct?" Loki asked, beginning to realize that something was very wrong, and these men and women were probably not Shield agents.

"Yes. I am J'onn Jonzz, Director of the DEO. Who are you all?"

"Thor of Asgard." the tall blonde man told him, offering his hand, which J'onn reluctantly took.

"The last Valkyrie. of Asgard" she offered. "Is there a bar around here or something to drink? We were just sucked through something and this has been happening a lot lately. I could really use a drink."

"Val, maybe not now, this second?" Thor whispered.

"Hi, I'm Bruce Banner of… I grew up all over the place. I know this isn't Earth. At least ours. Where are we, exactly?"

Loki did not introduce himself, prepared to become invisible if need be. The man may have been forgiven by his brother and Asgard, or those left, but he doubted New York had forgotten him.

"I am Brainiac 5 and I believe I have an explanation…"

"You are on Earth 38." Kara cut in, skipping the long-winded explanations and keeping her eye on the blonde man who was probably very dangerous. At least that was the reason she was telling herself.

Thor took in the beautiful blonde who was obviously a Shield Maiden, judging by her strength and costume, though he did not recognize the symbol of her realm.

"Earth 38? How many Earths are there?" Loki asked curiously, certain this was not Shield now.

"53, the last I heard. I was trying to make a breach to Earth 1 to contact friends and something happened…" Kara started before being cut off by Brainy.

"On your end. Instead of a breach into another Earth, something happened in your dimension at the exact same time Kara opened the breach here, causing a dimensional rift, through which you four were sucked into. What were you doing?" the Coluan asked suspiciously.

"I knew this was your fault!" Loki scolded his brother. "We should have been on Earth by now. First we had to stop at that sickening surgeon's place and get you a new eye…"

"The patch was screwing up my depth perception!"

"Then you needed a new hammer! I thought your vision of father told you that you didn't need a hammer?"

"I don't need a hammer! I just like one. Do not blame me for this. I never asked you to come. I asked those two to come. You wanted to see what weapons you could steal while I was risking my life forging a new hammer out of the core of a dying star. It was not easy!"

"Look around you! Do you see what is left of our people?" Loki shouted. "You said you were going to take us to Earth and start a new colony. Now we are here, and they aren't! Let's just steal a ship, find a damn Devil's Anus and get the hell out of here! There has to be one around here!"

Thor shook his head, oblivious to those in the room who were wondering what a devil's anus was, staring at the three, including the small man and woman who were now standing closely together and seemed very tense, especially the man in the coat. The woman looked as if she planned to use the two swords on her to stab everyone in the room.

"Heimdall can lead our people to Earth. I gave him instructions in the event we did not make it back to lead our people, start a new Asgard. He kept our citizens safe while you were screwing around with your new friend, the Grand Master, instead of helping me out!"

"If you didn't want to be king, I would have done it! You are loving this, aren't you?"

"Boys!" Valkyrie cut in. "Can we calm down? We are surrounded by people who just sucked us through a dimensional portal and this is no time to argue about it being Thor's fault. We all know it is Thor's fault. There is no point in reminding him constantly that this is his fault."

"I hate to cut into this fascinating story." Brainiac 5 interrupted. "But did you say you were forging that hammer out of a metal of some sort with the core of a dying star?"

Thor looked down at the strange grey man.

"Yes. The Dwarves were too frightened, so I did it myself." the man reached his hand out and the hammer flew towards him, causing a few guns to be raised, Alex's among them. "It still needs to be broke in, the grip isn't exactly the way I like it yet, but the weight and balance are perfect. I'm quite proud of it. Would you like to try and hold it?"

"No." the Coluan told him quickly. "Whatever you were doing with this core…how you even extracted it…it must have happened at the exact moment Kara attempted to open the breach, allowing two dimensions to collide. This is fascinating."

"I am glad you are entertained. May I talk to you, Brother?" Loki asked.

Thor shook his head, wondering why he would bother but knowing he wasn't going to get out of it.

Thor looked at the men and women aiming guns at his friends. "Would any of you mind if we took a moment, perhaps someplace private like outside, so we can talk?"

Before anyone could answer, the four were gone appearing outside the large building on the side walk a second later.

The ones remaining in the DEO stared at each other, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

"Great, we opened an inter dimensional portal and have four very strange humans…of a sort, in our dimension and on the loose." J'onn complained. "Get teams out there and find them. We have no idea what they are capable of…"

"Found them." Kara spoke up quickly. "I mean I can hear them. They really are outside the building and arguing about…everything. I'll go check on Thor…I mean all of them, and bring them right back in. Maybe if we can all calm down we can get to know him…I mean them."

"I'm coming with you." Mon El told her.

"No, you aren't. I can handle this. We just had a talk about not getting involved anymore in our timeline. They seem nice enough."

On the sidewalk outside, the four stood in a circle while National City residents walked around them and stared at three of the individuals who dressed strangely and two who were wearing capes, including the one with the big hammer and the female with two swords.

"We need to force them to send us back." Loki argued. "They opened this dimensional rift and they can reopen it."

"There isn't a guarantee we would be sent back to the same dimension even if we could copy the actions that led to it. Unless someone else screws with the core of a dying star in our dimension and they open a breach at the same time, which they wouldn't know when it happened." Banner cut in. "Besides, if they have some sort of multiverse in this dimension there are doppelgangers. But since we are from a different dimension, there may not be doppelgangers of us here. I kind of like this. Maybe there isn't a Hulk here. Maybe the world doesn't hate me, or you, Loki. This could be a fresh start."

"I don't need a fresh start! If my brother is so eager to leave the people of Asgard, then they need a leader." Loki argued.

"They have one." Thor told him. "You wouldn't be welcome on Earth, Loki. I could keep you safe but while our people may have forgiven you, I doubt Earth would. Asgard would be at war as soon as it was discovered you were there. Plus…its safer for you here. This could be a stroke of good fortune."

"Good fortune? Good fortune? What do you mean it could be safer for me here?"

"I mean, that while you were in prison in Asgard, you were safe. While you were posing as Father, you were hidden. But I am no fool. Someone gave you the stone in that staff and the army you commanded. That someone, wanted the Tesseract, right? That someone will most likely not forgive you for failing and losing the Infinity stone. I have given thought to this. You will be hunted there, not just by humans but something much more powerful. Face it brother, there is no need for us to risk returning and allowing you to be hunted. No one knows us here. Banner is right, there may not be a Hulk here. There may not be Avengers, or Shield, or Hydra. New York and Earth for that matter, may not hate you here, Loki, so long as you refrain from attempting world domination…again. Valkyrie, do you have anywhere to go? We stick together and this could be fun. A new universe to explore and not try and take over. Looking at you, brother. New adventures. New discoveries. There is a grey man with unfortunate hair in that building. Who knows what his story is, but wouldn't any of you like to know?"

The three stared at him for a moment then dropped their heads.

"He has the hots for Steve Rogers granddaughter in the building." Loki whispered. He should have known this would be about a woman. Valkyrie and Bruce silently agreed, thinking they should have already suspected this.

"She is strong and if they were trying to open a portal to another world she may need help. Doesn't that sound fun?" the tall man asked.

The three looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"I just want a drink." Valkyrie told them. "But I agree. Yes, fighting Hela sucked but we survived. What could be worse here? It would give us something to do. Going to Earth and starting a new colony really didn't appeal to me."

"Thank you!" Thor shouted. "She gets it! Face it, Brother, despite your best efforts you have been doing the right thing. I know you got a thrill out of fighting for our people. We love battle, it is all we have ever known. Banner, you don't want to be the Hulk. Did you see the technology they had in there? A nerd like you must be excited! Imagine a world where no one knows you for anything other than your genius and not turning into an idiotic green rage monster! Aren't you the least bit excited? What do you have to go back to? Let's face it, Jane and I had a mutual parting of ways, Valkyrie is good wherever there is alcohol, Loki has a planet and universe where he isn't hunted and hasn't tried to take over and I wouldn't be stuck on a throne. Instead we could be doing what we are meant to do."

"Meant to do? Fight battles that aren't ours to fight?" Loki asked, wanting to throttle Thor as he often did.

"Exactly! But they could be…she is coming. Wow, she can fly. Thats nice. Glad to meet someone else who can fly." Thor observed as Kara landed next to him.

"Hi." Kara greeted them. "It's me again. So…I realize that wasn't exactly the welcome you deserved with the guns and the new place and me accidentally sucking you through a dimensional rift. I promise if you all come back inside we can find a room where my closest friends can tell you what is going on and maybe we can find a way to get you back home."

Kara watched them closely, mostly watched Thor closely. The armored sleeveless top and leather pants and boots didn't exactly help him fit in, but he was less conspicuous than the female and male in capes and armor.

"Yeah…we don't really want to go back. A lot of stuff, nothing much going on…this could be nice." Thor told her. "I can see you are not human, nor are we…"

"I am." Banner cut in. "Most of the time."

"Oh yeah." Thor corrected himself. "I forgot. I'm from a realm…it isn't there any longer, I…"

"Can we please follow Miss Rogers back into the building so someone can give us the story and we can decide what to do from there? I am tired of the confusion and I know father is laughing at us somewhere. Mother is probably getting a kick out of this as well."

Kara blinked, and she was in a conference room siting at a table with the four.

"Thats a pretty neat trick. Are you doing that?" she asked Loki.

"I am full of neat tricks. Could you call whoever, so we can get this started?"

"Loki," Thor scolded. "we are guests. Show some politeness, please?"

"If she looked like a bilge snipe you wouldn't care." Loki whispered.

Valkyrie placed a hand over her mouth to hold in her laugh. She wasn't entirely successful.

Within minutes, J'onn, Alex, Winn and the three Legion members had entered the conference room.

Introductions were brief, once again, only names given.

"So, could you tell us, where exactly you are from?" J'onn asked.

"No, we cannot. We didn't suck you into an inter-dimensional rift." Loki pointed out. "I think you should explain exactly what the hell is going on, where the hell is this National City you speak of and if there is anyone on this Earth named Tony Stark or Steve Rogers? I can't stand either. I'm not fond of that sorcerer, what was his name, Brother?"

"It was Strange, I think."

"Yes, he was incredibly strange, and I would love to get my hands on him, if you would tell me his name. If there is another one in this universe, that will suffice."

"Stark or Rogers aren't here. If they were, they would already be in this battle. This is the kind of thing neither can resist." Banner reminded the men.

"What kind of thing? We haven't told you anything." Alex caught, causing everyone to look suspiciously at Banner who glanced at Thor.

"Don't look at me. You are the one who said it."

Bruce took a deep breath.

"Look, it is pretty obvious, wherever we are, if you were trying to open a breach to another Earth something bad must be going down and you needed help. While a breach between theoretical Earths is not as dangerous as say, opening a dimensional rift, it is still not something you would do on a whim. It's not like you travel between alternate earths to attend birthday parties or weddings with your friends, right? If you were trying this, something must be going on. Something big. Considering what we just survived, we can help, I mean those three can. I can figure out the…sciency stuff."

Kara and Alex looked at each other, silently agreeing not to mention their attendance at a wedding on Earth 1 that turned into a Nazi war.

Loki cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should find out what exactly they are facing before we commit ourselves to something that isn't our business and could get us killed."

"Can't be worse than fighting your sister." Valkyrie reminded him.

"I'm adopted!"

Thor slammed his fist on the table, causing everyone to jump in their seats, J'onn tensing for a fight.

"Can we please keep some order to this, so we can find our enemy, destroy it and go to a bar, one that hopefully sells food? I am starving. Forging a hammer from the core of a dying star tends to make me hungry. I will tell you who we are. You will tell us who you are and why you need help. Unless you were traveling between alternate Earths to go to a party?"

"No!" Alex denied quickly. "Everything is … uh…Kara, you tell him."

Kara proceeded to tell the story of Krypton, the aliens on this Earth, the Legion and their time traveling mishap and the heroes of this Earth as well as the World Killers.

Thor thanked her for the information and began his tale. After he was done, the entire room was silent.

Kara finally asked a question.

"So, you had to destroy your world to kill your sister?"

Thor nodded his head solemnly. "She had already killed over three quarters of our people. I hit her with the mother of all lightning bolts, while Banner fought a giant wolf and Valkyrie and Loki battled an army of undead. When we realized that we could not defeat her and our people were prepared to be evacuated, Loki cast the crown of Sutur into the eternal flame and unleashed him on Asgard. Our people flew away and our sister was left on Asgard to burn with the rest. It was quite a genius plan."

"It sucked." Valkyrie disagreed, then shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, I admit I didn't have a better plan. Worst case scenario and all."

"And I was down to one eye." Thor pointed out. "I did not want to lose another. The surgery to replace this one was painful, and the surgeon was old, had shaky hands…terrifying."

"It sounds like you have all been through a horrible experience and need rest." Mon El pointed out. "We can handle this and…"

"Oh, no, you really shouldn't. "Banner disagreed. "Any interference in this timeline can seriously screw up the time you are trying to get back to. Wait a minute, didn't you say you were called the Legion? Where are the rest of your members?"

"In cryo sleep." Imra answered. "It is only the three of us."

"So, you are a trio." Loki clarified, rolling his eyes. "If you call yourselves a Legion, we four must seem like an armada to you. I am somewhat interested in this slight problem. We can't very well make lives on a new world if someone is attempting to kill the new world. So how do we draw them out? We can strike them down and be done with it."

Kara winced at that idea. "There may be a problem with that. Brute force…I am one of the strongest people on this planet and one of these women put me in a coma. They are genetically engineered…"

"Would you be so kind as to gently touch the end of this sword?" Valkyrie asked politely, placing one of her blades on the table. Kara smiled and touched the tip then pulled back, sucking her fingertip. The gang from Earth 38 were surprised to see a bit of blood.

"Swords are made of the same metal as Thor's new weapon. Enchanted as well. Loki, what did you steal from the Dwarves?"

"I would never…" the man sighed and pulled a long blade and a staff that expanded from behind his back. "I also kept the gold. If they weren't going to forge the damn hammer themselves there was no point in paying them."

"Excellent. Get them close, draw them in and run them through. Piece of cake compared to Hela. Can we please get a drink and some food before we kill them?" Valkyrie asked.

"Brute strength won't be a problem." Thor promised. "I am fairly strong and this guy…" he motioned towards Banner who had his head in his hands, "just took out Hela's four story tall wolf and tried to attack a colossal flame demon. Almost ruined the whole plan."

"That guy?" Winn asked, feeling he was missing something.

"I am a scientist. Thats all I am planning on doing here." Bruce said, looking straight at Thor.

"Really?" Thor asked. "Thats it? You don't want to let loose a bit. Let the big guy come out and …"

"No!"

"Please don't antagonize him." Loki whispered to his brother.

"There is also the problem of taking them alive. We have to take them alive. They are people, they just have these other sides to them." Kara explained. "But they can fight those urges, they just need a chance. I don't want them ran through or cut or anything else."

"So, we beat them into submission. Understood." Thor agreed. "Now, how about we go to that bar, Kara? We could use some refreshments. Loki, money, brother?"

Loki reached for the pocket inside his cape and tossed a stack of hundreds to his brother he had formed from the gold.

"Wow…okay. Yeah, I know a great place that makes ribs. Do you like ribs?" Kara asked, looking directly at the tall blonde.

"I love ribs. I would be glad to accompany you, my lady. Loki, clothes?"

Loki rolled his eyes but with a wave of his hand, all four were dressed normally, Thor and Valkyrie sporting blue jeans, boots and white shirts and brown leather jackets, Banner in a casual suit and Loki in a very nice completely black suit.

"Let's go." the God of Mischief ordered. Kara moved away quickly and came back, dressed in civvies and glasses. Taking Thor's hand, she practically dragged him out.

"I guess this meeting is adjourned. Who wants to get drunk?" Valkyrie asked.

Alex stood up immediately. "Me, definitely me."