Open Minded

With each day we were together, it felt more and more right to relax into his embrace. To return the pressure of his kiss, and to squeeze his hand whenever he said something cute. As months passed, months after the Haven of Hawaii was behind us, I felt so strongly about him I swear I never before knew what love was. But he had always known. And it took me four years to realize how sweet the feeling was, and how much I wanted to cling to its presence.

With hours, minutes and seconds a blur, all simply existing to make me happy, I spared no second thought that October afternoon when Lola entered the dorm room and asked, "Is it okay if I skip going out with you and Quinn tonight? Chase said he'd be able to help me with my sea-life project, now that he's an expert on marine animals. Honestly, one trip to Maui and suddenly that boy thinks he knows everything about the ocean."

I chuckled freely. "Yeah, well, don't deflate his ego too much. He may have his head up in the clouds, but I'm on Cloud Nine and the commute is easy."

"So you don't mind?"

"No, not at all."

And I meant it.

Keep in Mind

"Happy Halfiversary!"

I watched Chase's cheeks dance around his mouth as he laughed, "Happy what?"

"Halfiversary! Our half-year anniversary!"

"Wow. Does Hallmark sell cards for those?"

I gave an exaggerated sigh. "No, they don't, but they should. Anyway, so tonight I thought we could grab a bite at Sushi Rox and then head down to the-"

"Oh! Zo, I'm sorry. I can't tonight."

His lips curled into an apologetic half-smile, one which I had seen too many times in the past.

"Didn't Lola tell you we were going to the theatre this evening?"

I blinked, and then blushed when I faintly remembered the previous night- Lola had been babbling about a talent agent inviting her to see a production at a local playhouse, where she suggested Lola could get a taste for theatre, even on a smaller scale. The woman recommended Lola bring a date, and since Vince had a game the next day he couldn't risk being tired for, she had decided to ask someone else.

"Oh. Right. Well, couldn't she take Michael or Logan?"

"Michael has a math final to prepare for, and Logan… well, could you imagine him at a play?"

I tried to picture the scenario for a moment and shuddered. I saw Logan boasting on and on about how much better an actor he was than the actual performers. No, that wouldn't do. Lola would never become a famous actress if she were charged with the murder of a director's son.

"Well, isn't there anyone else?"

Chase shook his head, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Look, the play's writer is Matthew Larson. He's a friend of my dad's, and a totally awesome writer. I was hoping to meet up with him and have a chat. You know I've been looking into script-writing this year, and he said he'd be more than happy to give me advice."

"You talked to him?"

"Yeah. When Lola showed me the program for the play I saw his name and gave him a call. So, he's actually expecting me."

I nodded, but couldn't hold back my disappointed frown. "Okay. Well, uh, I suppose we could celebrate tomorrow?"

Those two beautiful eyes, the ones I can never get enough of, bore back at me. "The last thing I want is for you to be upset…"

"No! No," I replied too quickly, "You and Lola both want to go. And we'll be able to get together tomorrow… so you two go and have fun."

Chase leaned forward to briefly brush my lips with his. He tasted of stale Blix and sweat. "You sure?" He tentatively brushed hair from my face.

"Of course. I don't mind. Really."

And I almost meant that.

Never Mind

With the first semester almost over, I decided to adopt a new activity to replace basketball. President of the school newspaper wasn't what I had in mind. But since Kelsey Martin, the residing president for two years, moved to Texas, there was an opening available and my career counselor noted how good working on the school newspaper looked to colleges. This was all the encouragement I needed to sign up.

Unfortunately, I had not considered the incredible responsibility of being in charge. My first few weeks were spent getting used to the way the paper was run (and convincing the staff I would be just as good as Kelsey, as many seemed to doubt). The newspaper and PCA newsroom worked together, so I spent every Tuesday and Sunday afternoon with Jeremiah Trotman, working out headlines and reports for the upcoming issue. He was furious whenever I asked to reschedule, and mumbled how I wasn't "dedicated to the cause". Needless to say my frustration peaked when I learned Rebecca Browning, a girl whom in the previous year had attempted to blackmail me, was the writer behind the newspaper's most popular column, "Dating Do's and Don'ts."

Thank goodness she was there to give the staff more reasons to hate my guts.

Fortunately I had Quinn and Lola, who were behind my efforts one hundred and ten percent. Lola volunteered to take over some of the workload, while Quinn offered to give Rebecca a serum that would make her go bald. While both offers were very tempting, I was determined to do this on my own. I would gain the trust of my staff yet, even if it meant working longer hours.

As it turned out, that's exactly what it meant. During the start of the year Chase and I had been able to go out almost every night. But working with the newspaper spared me less leisure time, and we were barely making a date a week now. And unfortunately, this included cancelling the evening's movie plans. There was just no way I could organize tomorrow's issue by midnight unless I started right away.

"Lola!" I called as she was walking passed the dorm room. I pushed up to my knees, avoiding crushing the clippings and papers around me. "Can you do me a favor?"

She beamed instantly. "That depends. Who is it you want me to kill?"

"Nobody. I got swamped by the staff again, because apparently they are incapable of arranging their reports chronologically…" I took a deep breath and swallowed my anger. "Chase is probably waiting for me in the lounge. Could you go apologize to him and tell him I can't make the film tonight?"

"Sure, Zo." Her smile was that of sympathy. "You know, it's really awesome how dedicated you are to this. And whether the guys at newspaper say so or not, everyone knows the paper has never been better. Even the teachers have been saying so."

Despite anger curdling under my skin, hearing her comforting words did cool my insides a bit. "Let's hope so."

Turning to leave me to work, Lola suddenly snapped her fingers. "Hey…" she seemed to stop, and after a moment waved her wrist lazily, "Never mind."

"What is it?" I asked, even though my focus had already returned to the papers in front of me.

"Nothing. I just thought maybe I could go to the movie with Chase."

"What's wrong with that?"

"You wouldn't mind me going to a movie… alone with your boyfriend?"

I scoffed. "Of course not. I know you two are just friends."

I heard her sandals shuffle against the carpet. "Still, I wouldn't feel right about it. Besides, I offered to help Stacey with her Home Ec project. How she could think everyone put sassafras in their chocolate chip cookies makes me seriously doubt her mom's cooking abilities …"

I would have laughed if I had not been dawdling on her previous remark. I looked up in time to watch her leave, feeling suddenly bewildered and unsure why.

Don't Mind if I Do

"Come on, Zoey. This is the Winter Ball! Every couple at PCA goes to this event… well, except for the geeks…"

"Hey!" Quinn chirped, popping her head out of the closet to protest. "Geeks are people too, thank you. And we dance better than most of you anyway!" She returned her attention to two dresses, feeling the material of both to determine which to wear.

"I can't! Mr. Brenner said that if I complete this project by Monday, I can bump my B+ in Physics to an A. This is really important." And so came my rebuttal, making me feel like a broken record. There was always work to do, and lately there wasn't a moment I didn't pray for an end in sight. "Besides, you aren't getting ready either."

When it came time for a dance, Lola usually spent the entire day preparing her outfit and makeup design. But tonight she remained lying on the top bunk, seeming to gradually lose interest in the Buzz article she was reading.

"It's no fun to go to dances by yourself," she remarked quietly.

I pealed my gaze from the computer screen to glance at Lola. She didn't look well, her skin a bit too pale, and the locks of her hair straying from their normal position aligning her shoulders. She had been miserable since Monday, when Vince told her he needed "a break" from their relationship. The horrid break, which is eventually followed by the dreaded up. Quinn and I tried to comfort her the best we knew how (with chick flicks, chocolate and internet shopping) but Lola was in a content slump.

"I'm sure there are some people going without dates. And it's not too late to get someone."

Lola rolled her eyes, falling back on her pillow. "What decent guy would be available on the night of the dance?" She started a staring contest with the ceiling, "Besides, I don't want a new boyfriend right now."

"So take someone as a friend," Quinn offered thoughtfully, slipping a sleek purple dress off its hanger.

"Like wh-"

"Knock, knock."

In the doorway stood two well-dressed boys, the bushy-haired one in a proper black tuxedo, and the other in a brown, more casual suit. Behind them a smiling pair, fingers entwined, waved with their free hands. "Hey girls."

"Wow, you look fantastic." Quinn's remark had been intended for the whole group, although she was looking to her boyfriend as she said it.

"And you look great too!"

Quinn frowned. "I'm not dressed yet, Logan." She held up the purple dress and shook it.

"Oh… right." He gave a sheepish grin, one which Quinn repeatedly admitted made her insides melt. Immediately her face softened into a smile.

Chase joined my side, kissing my cheek before sitting on the bed. "So there's no chance I can convince you to come to the dance tonight?"

I shook my head, not able to think of anything more to say except "I'm sorry".

"That's alright," Chase said in a happier tone than I would have expected. He hopped to his feet and marched across the room. "That means I will get to take this lovely lady instead," he declared as he held out his arm. "Mademoiselle Martinez, if you would."

The gesture Lola made reminded me of a frightened lion tamer. "Oh, no I'm not going!" And without delay the boys erupted into an uproar of objections.

"Lola," Lisa, detaching herself from Michael, approached the bunk beds and rested her head against the top mattress. "You can't leave Quinn and me to watch over these guys alone- we'll be outnumbered!"

Michael interjected, "Yeah! And if Vince was stupid enough to break it off with you, you deserve to go to this dance looking hotter than ever and showing him what he missed out on!" Five sets of eyebrows raised at once, each aimed at Michael. Realizing how he sounded, he tried explaining himself, "What? That's what I would do if I was a girl!" and failed.

Lola turned away, I assumed as a way to avoid eye contact with the rest of the group. "It's not a good idea."

"Lola, I'm insulted." Chase feigned offense. "Do you deem me so poor a dancer you will not honor me with your presence?"

"You know it's not like that…" she started, but made no effort to finish.

"Hey." Chase lowered his voice, stepping forward to place his hand lightly on Lola's. I watched him tilt his head and lick his lips, a habit he adopted while trying to find the right words to say. "Why don't we just go hang out for a bit? If you get tired or I step on your toes too many times, we can leave. But I couldn't have a good time if I knew you were wasting away such a great night…" His gentle smile lingered momentarily before turning boyish. "Besides, you know how cranky Zoey gets when people are in the room while she's working."

"Hey!" I threw a balled up piece of paper at him, which rewarded me a small smile from Lola.

"And apparently violent too," she added to Chase's observation.

"Yikes, we better get out of here before she throws her laptop at us!" Michael grabbed Lisa's wrist and dragged her out the room, their giggles resounding off the corridor walls as they hurried along.

"Yeah, and we promised Coach Hexler we'd help set up the refreshments table before everyone started arriving," Logan explained as he stepped towards the door. "You ladies meet us at the dance?"

"Sure," Quinn answered cheerfully. "We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Uh…" Lola glanced over her clothes. "You better make that forty. I look like a wreck!"

Chase laughed. "Are you kidding? You look fantastic. You could go dressed like that," he speculated at her attire of sponge-bob square pants pajamas.

"Yeah, right. Now leave! We have to get ready. Shoo! Shoo!" Lola, suddenly looking better than she had all week, pushed the boys out the door.

I didn't get much work done the next forty-five minutes, with Lola and Quinn flittering about examining their makeup and hair in the mirror every twenty-seven seconds (an observation which I was more than happy to repeatedly point out). The whole while I watched Lola transform from a depressed pumpkin into a lovely, lively Cinderella.

Before leaving for the ball, the princess looked my way, and asked cautiously, "You sure you're okay with this?"

"What, you going out? Only as long as you're back by curfew," I teased playfully.

"No I mean… going to the dance with Chase. You sure you don't mind?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at her quizzically. "No, I don't mind. Why should I?"

She didn't give me a reason. Which meant I would have to find out for myself.

Mind Boggling

Students were still finding paper snowflakes across the campus grounds long after the night of the winter ball. I had spent the weekend sulking, although decided on Tuesday, upon receiving my A from Mr. Brenner, that is was best I hadn't gone to the dance. Lola deserved to go more than I did anyway. She and Quinn returned late that evening, laughing hysterically about something involving Vince, a bowl of punch and a giant toad (whom Quinn later adopted and named Louis).

I hadn't felt this good in ages. Physics was a worry of the past, the newspaper staff was slowly but surely coming to accept me (much to Rebecca's chagrin) and I had my first free afternoon in weeks to go out with my boyfriend. I was so anxious I found myself drawing in class rather than taking notes, and then daydreaming instead of paying attention to the teacher. Chase mentioned last week he received two opening night tickets from Matthew Larson for his latest theatre production. I was never particularly into plays, but felt giddy for tonight's performance.

Chase and I didn't have any joined classes today, so I wasn't sure when we were supposed to leave. I knew he'd come by the dorm when it was time, and thought it best to be ready early. Hours wore on where I primped and perfected the curls in my hair, occasionally tugging on my spaghetti strap dress to keep it from falling too low. Between the long, passing minutes and my equally gradual impatience, I grew fed up with the dress and changed it… three times. I finally settled on a sea green satin dress I was sure would dazzle Chase. And he deserved dazzling, after waiting months for a proper date.

But at 7:04 I had become anxious. For the last hour I'd been dialing Chase's number almost every minute, but kept receiving his voicemail. He must have forgotten to turn his phone on, I concurred with exasperation. Chase often forgot to turn his phone on after he charged it. Still, I would have expected him to call by now…

Deciding not to wait any longer, I ventured across campus towards the boys' dorms, along the way receiving dozens of glances, cat calls, whistles, and one marriage proposal. Upon finally reaching Chase's dorm, I discovered Michael lying upside down over the side of his bed, playing with his clackers. Logan, Xbox controller in hand, was intensly focused on a racing game I didn't recognize. It was his downfall when he turned to look at me- he gazed too long and ran his virtual car into a fence. Of course, he then proceeded to blame me for the crash.

"Michael," I ignored the sulking boy, "have you seen Chase? We were supposed to go out tonight, but he hasn't called me and…" I glanced down at my watch, "the play has already started."

Instead of replying, Michael dropped his jaw slightly and shifted his eyes to Logan, who also looked dumbfounded. "Uh, what do you mean? Chase left an hour ago with Lola."

"What?!" So that's what it felt like to have your heart drop into your stomach.

Michael appeared equally as confused. "Yeah. He said you were too busy to go, so he took Lola instead."

My mouth quickly turned dry, and I could only continue to stare as I tried discerning what happened. "I never said I was busy today. Chase told me last week he received two tickets to the theatre…"

"Yeah, but he said you didn't say you could go, so he figured you were working and couldn't make it."

"Why didn't he ask?!"

"Maybe because you get angry whenever anyone ever asks you anything." Logan replied honestly, his voice tinted with arrogance.

A mixture of emotions rushed through me too quickly, and I could barely balance myself as I fell back onto a beanbag chair. I couldn't believe it. Our first date in forever, including a trip out of PCA, a romantic show and dinner, and there was one thing missing- me.

This frustration combined with the pressure of many weeks of work threatened to take me over in tears. I covered my face in embarrassment and fell forward onto my knees. I breathed deeply, attempting to choke back my sadness, because goodness knows I didn't want to cry in front of Michael and Logan. But then I heard two pairs of footsteps clamber away, followed by the sound of a door firmly closing… Sometimes I didn't give those boys enough credit.

A few tears fell, destroying the makeup I had wasted hours on perfecting. I grabbed a wad of tissues and dabbed my face to keep the mascara from running onto my dress. My cheeks felt heavy as they built up with internal pressure, so strong I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. I sat for many moments, maybe hours, thinking of only where I wasn't and so desperately wanted to be. I felt the energy drain out through my eyes and soon could not will myself to sit up, nonetheless move. Had I been able to, I would have left before they returned.

But I was there when they burst through the door, he wearing that dazzling smile and she with her face distorted into what I imagine was an impersonation of an old lady. I didn't have time to turn away or hide. My emotions lay bare, and for the first time in my life I felt small.

He saw me first. Midway through a second round of laugher he froze, and those beautiful eyes caught sight of me and were relieved of their glee. Not a second passed before Chase left Lola's side and sat crouched in front of me. My tears had long since dried, but I was sure streaks had been inked into my skin, and my eyes were most likely as bloodshot as he had ever seen them. I always hated the fact that I could not cry "pretty" like girls in the movies. That imperfection felt more and more accentuated the longer he looked at me.

"Zoey, what's wrong?"

I inhaled deeply, turning from Chase to try and stand. My legs were still in recovery-mode and wobbled against my weight. I fell back onto the beanbag with a grunt. Before I could try again, I felt a warm weight on my shoulders: his hands. "Zoey, what is it?"

But I couldn't answer him. I didn't even try with fear of what I would say. Thankfully he didn't ask again. Instead he wrapped his arms around me and used his palm to lightly press my head to his shoulder. I subdued, feeling my breathing return to normal the longer I relaxed in his arms. I brought my gaze from the ground to the doorway.

And there she stood. Pretty as ever, with such innocent concern evident in her features. Except for her eyes. Her eyes had fogged over with several emotions. She didn't say anything, but her gaze never faltered.

"No I meant… going to the dance with Chase. You sure you don't mind?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at her quizzically. "No, I don't mind. Why should I?"

She was trying to tell me why. Now, with her eyes she was trying to tell me why I should care. But tonight, in the embrace of the one I loved, I decided I did not want to know. I did not want to mind. I wanted to forget. So I did.


"Would You Mind" will be a story consisting of the detailings of important moments throughout Zoey's senior year. For those of you who don't like getting into multi-chapter stories with fear the author will get tired, receive writer's block, or not update enough, rest assured, this story is entirely planned out and I have nearly finished writing it. So feel free to get emotionally attached. In fact, let me know how emotionally attached you get in a review. If I know you want an update, Part 2 will make a quick appearance. I would like to thank my wonderful beta, morgarita, for being such a great editor.