The grey old lady sighed as her tired body settled against the lumpy mattress. The springs groaned in quiet protest. She turned her head to face the open window, and made her wish on the first star. Her smile remained long into the night as she dreamed.
"And you're absolutely sure it was them? There's no chance at all that..." She didn't need to finish her question. The answer was obvious in the solemn faces of the two police officers who had so kindly ventured to her door to tell her the news. A quick nod, then the eyes changed from sympathetic to abashed.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we'll have to be leaving now. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep safe."
I nodded my thanks as my eyes wandered to the peeling white paint on the wall of the hallway. Once they had reached the end of the pathway, I closed the front door and leaned against it as my body and mind broke down, and I slid to the ground as I shook with sobs. "My family – gone!" Everything was wrong. The memories I had been compressing for months escaped, and I knew, as I had always known, that my siblings had not been crazy. I had blocked out everything about Narnia, and now I hated myself for arguing with them, treating them like muck on my shoe, telling them to grow up. Now I longed to be back with my family in Narnia. But I knew I would never see their faces again.
"Oh Albert! You've made such a mess!"
She laughed as she brushed the cake crumbs off of the picnic blanket and on to the lush grass, where the insects would no doubt have a feast later on. They locked eyes once again, and he grasped her hand and pulled her down to lay on the ground, looking up at the sky. She sighed. Albert had been her redemption, her distraction from the events of the last few months. She cared for him dearly of course – after all, they were courting – but she couldn't say she loved him. She was certain she would never feel love again, not like she had for her family. But this man had been her candle through the dark times which still enveloped her, he was leading her towards the light. After the third time.. the scars on her body told the tale of the past months. No one could blame her for not wanting to live, the spark had gone right out of her after the accident. But then she had met Albert, and he was helping her remember her family in the right way, in a way that didn't hurt. But his love would never replace that of her family's.
"..so I have to ask. Will you marry me?"
"Of course I will! I'd love to!"
"I love you."
"I love you too Albert, I really do."
"..Take Albert James Lewis to be your lawful wedded husband.."
"Take you, Albert James Lewis, to be my lawful wedded husband.."
"In sickness and in health.."
"In sickness and in health.. until death we do part."
"He's so beautiful. Hello, Peter Edmund Lewis. Welcome to the world."
The tiny baby in her arms reached up and touched her face. She smiled down at him, then turned when she heard the door open. In came Albert, clutching little Lucy's hand. Her face lit up as her eyes fell upon her brother for the first time, and a gasp escaped her lips. She shook off her fathers hand and ran up to the side of the bed as fast as her little legs would carry her.
"Mummy, can I talk to Peter?"
"Of course you can love. Hop up on the bed."
The three-year old took her baby brother in her arms, and began to talk to him.
"Baby brother, Daddy said you probably won't remember what I'm saying but I'm going to tell you anyway. I promise to always look after you like Uncle Peter and Uncle Edmund and Auntie Lucy looked after Mummy. I'm sorry we never got to meet them, because they might have told me how to be a good sister. But Mummy says that they are in Heaven now, with God. But I will try to look after you and make you happy Peter."
She didn't see the tears sliding down her mothers face as she spoke. She didn't feel the tremors of the mattress as she shook. She soon forgot the words she had spoken that day, but her mother never did.
"Be careful of the pond, darling!" she called to her youngest child as he trotted around the snowy garden, clutching his notebook in hand. "Clive, come here please?"
"Mum, I've told you before. I don't like Clive. Call me Jack, please."
She smiled in defeat, then ruffled his hair as he passed, flipping open his notebook.
"Mum, how do you spell lu-min-es-ants?"
She hid her shock that a 7 year old knew such a professional word, and replied with "Luminescence? Lu-Min-Es—C-E-N-C-E"
His face was a picture of concentration as he scribbled it down, then beamed up at her and pulled open the back door. "Thanks Mum. Are you coming in?"
She sighed and shook her head. "No, I think I'll stay out here for a while. The snow reminds me of a place I went to once."
"Do you mean Narnia?" He stepped closer, the door falling shut.
"Yes, I do love. When we first went there, myself and your aunt and uncles, it was just like this. It was just as beautiful, if not more." He trod carefully closer as she spoke, and when she had finished he grasped her hand.
"So it's not a fairytale Mummy? It really happened?"
"Of course, love. I wish you could have seen it."
"I can in my imagination Mum. Can you tell me more about it?"
They walked back inside, his mother sharing her memories, and he scribbled away for the rest of the day, taking notes. "One day I'm going to write a story about you all going to Narnia Mum, so other people know that it's out there."
"That's a good idea darling. Promise you will?"
"I promise."
"Lucy just gave birth Mum, it's a boy! She's going to call him William. Such a lovely name, don't you agree?"
She gripped the telephone tightly, overcome with emotions. She was a grandmother.
"That's brilliant! Tell her I send my congratulations, and I'm sorry I cant be there. My leg is really playing up at the moment.. did you check on Dad?"
"Yeah, he's doing a lot better now. They say his heart is in a fragile state still, but he's looking much healthier. Lucy is going to take William down to see him later, Peter told him the good news a minute ago."
"Oh good, and how are you doing? How's the story coming on?"
"Brilliantly Mum, really. Thank you for letting me write about you all"
"It's fine Clive, really."
"You realise you're the only person who calls me Clive Staples Lewis now Mum? Everyone else calls me Jack Lewis."
"And you're the only person who calls me Pevensie. Now, make sure you tell Lucy I'm proud of her?"
"Of course Mum. I'll see you soon. Bye bye, love you"
"I love you too Clive."
"Do you remember when we first met?"
"Of course I do Bert.. We were so young back then."
He smiled weakly and squeezed her hand. "Not like now. Here I am, on the last few pages of my story-"
"Don't say that. You don't know what might happen!"
"I'm about to die love. I can feel it. No, don't cry! It's about time, eh? I'm seventy three years old sweetheart, I'm past my sell-by date."
"What am I going to do? It's happening all over again!"
"Don't be so silly! You have the children, and now the grandchildren to look after. You can do it, I know you can."
"Forty nine years we've been together. Can you not hold on until fifty?"
"I don't think so dear. It's my time. And darling.. I'll say hello to your family. I love you."
"I love you too Albert.. no! Please, please don't leave me here. Take me with you, please!"
But it was too late. His eyes closed for the last time, his hand still clutching hers.
She was alone again. The heart monitor beeped out a dull, flat tone. Nurses stood outside the door, waiting anxiously for her to finish her last goodbyes. Little did they know she wasn't saying goodbye, only see you soon.
Her fitful sleep seemed to morph into quiet peace as the wizened old woman had her last thoughts. She awoke – not in the dull white room, but in a meadow of sorts. She found she could stand without pain. She dashed towards the pool of water, examining her face.. she was young again. A noise behind her made her turn. Standing beside her was the great lion whom she had dreamed of so often. He nuzzled her shoulder, then looked to the eastern hill. Running towards her she saw her family coming towards her. Her husband, Albert, looking not a day older than the day they first met, walking slowly forward, watching her face. Her parents, holding hands and enjoying the moment. Her brother, Edmund, a bright grin across his face as he ran to her. Her sister Lucy, tears running down her face. And at the very front of the procession, Peter was sprinting full out at her. They collided in a matter of seconds – which was surprisingly painless. Aslan watched on as the small bundle of bodies on the grass embraced each other with a sigh of content. Susan Pevensie was finally where she belonged. All had been forgiven.
A/N – This story started off as a challenge to myself. I've always had this strong dislike of Susan since I learned that she abandoned her family and Narnia, so I decided to change that. I thought about how Susan must have felt, being excluded from the one place she wanted to be. I have to thank Sam for being amazing and helping me out when I got stuck, and generally putting up with me :D I owe you.
Enjoy :3
