"No, it's a result of extreme depression."

"Because you still missed me after you died."

"Enough to break the Devil's heart."

Shiny Stuff

Chapter 1

"Can you just SHUT UP? Just for a minute! SHUT UP!"

"So, where was I?"

The listener rubbed his temples wearily.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up..." he murmured over and over.

"Okay, Okay! Gosh you're annoying!"

"But…Aren't you supposed to be my therapist?"

"Oh, Okay," she said tiredly, a world of boredom laced in her voice. Then for a couple of minutes there was silence.

"Is it over yet? Is it over yet? Is it over yet...?"

She sighed again.

"You don't want to listen to me all day, and you don't want to talk either. I'm getting a little bored," she pointed out.

"Again, YOU are the psychiatrist. You have to ask me questions. No, screw that! Do you wanna know how I got these scars?" he paused for a moment to lick his lips. "My daddy…"

"SHUT UP! I've heard that a billion times already! ARGH!" she screamed in frustration.

"Uh, okay… so, my wife…"

"Heard it!"

"My cat…"

"Heard it!"

"My sadomasochistic girlfriend…"

"I know!"

"There was a unicorn…"

"Be original damnit!"

"Batman…"

"Really, Juggler, really? Are you kidding? It's not funny, you know."

"It's the Joker, you bitch!"

"That's Miss Bitch to you, Jester…"

"No, no! Say it with me," he said patronizingly. "Joker. Jooo-keeerrr. Joker. Spell it! J-O-K-E-R!" He started clapping his hands. "Joker! Joker! Joker! Joker...!" He paused for a moment, long enough for her to throw a dangerous high-heeled shoe at him… and to miss.

"Joker, Joker for the win! Joker, Joker… that's ME! C'mon sing with me!"

She rubbed her forehead.

"On second thought, silence isn't so bad. Right, J-whatever?" she was silent ignoring his screaming. "Give me back my shoe!"

"No! It's mine now. You gave it to me, remember?" he whined and then added in a joyful tone. "Like your iPhone, like your glasses, like your iPod, like your lighter. Side note- it's a bad to give pyromaniacs fire-y stuff… Whatever, so where was I… like your wallet, like your cigarettes, like your bag, like that shiny pink thing I stole from you… Your shoe is mine!"

"So what, are you going to wear it?"

The Joker ignored her. He was watching a shiny coin on her desk.

"Oh, shiny," he observed.

"10 observation points for you, moron," she remarked.

"I want it! Give. Me. It!" he said stomping his foot on the floor.

"Don't be childish," she said tiredly.

"That's a disease. I'm ill. I suffer from Give-Me-The-Thing Disorder. It's incurable. I'm dying, you know?" he added sadly.

"Fine!" she snapped. "You can have the shiny if you give me back my shoe."

He took the shoe and put it on her desk with a flourish. "Now give me it!"

"And now, our séance is over," she paused for a minute. "Go away, Junkie. If you're a good patient, you'll get the shiny next time."

"But that's what you said about the desk, and the chairs, and the window, and the door. I want the door! It's pretty, and it sparkles." He hugged the door.

"Nurse!" the doctor yelled.

With that the Joker was taken to his cell. She was alone once again, and the pain came back. But that was okay. If people hurt her, she got to hurt them.

Weeel? Did you like it? This story is a collaboration of mine and a random Killjoy's efforts. She is my BFF and she created more than half of this chapter. She also came up with the story idea! Review!