I was taking a break from (avoiding) working on my AU, so I rewatched the episode of UA "Absolute Power Part 2" for the feels, and this happened.
(the next chapter of my AU will hopefully be up within the next few days).
as mentioned, this takes place a few hours after the events of that episode.
enjoy!
Though they'd experienced a happy ending only a few hours ago, the air was currently tense with words unsaid. Usually they didn't find silence uncomfortable. But their unaverage day led to the absence of communication now.
Sitting on the semi-damaged front porch steps in front of Gwen's house, the Anodite stared at him.
Kevin dropped his head into his hands, breaking their previously shared grips. "I can't believe that I hurt you."
She exhaled. They were bound to have this conversation at some point. "Kevin, it wasn't your fault. You weren't yourself."
Kevin didn't look at her. "I...tried to...to drain all your mana."
She reached her hand up to cup his cheek. "You weren't in control."
"Gwen-"
"It wasn't really you."
Gently, he pushed her fingers away, still avoiding her gaze. "You're the one person I love most. And I uh, I almost…" His voice faltered out at the end.
"But you didn't," she replied softly, "You're here now. That's what I care about."
He lowered his head even further. "How can you still love me if I nearly killed you?"
"I can't believe you would even ask that." Gwen grabbed hold of his hand in her own again, not letting him pull away. "It was just all the power. You were never really trying to hurt me."
"But it was me. I was that monster trying to hurt you."
She gave a sad smile, even though he refused to look at her. "You were never a monster, Kevin."
"Gwen, I was a monster." He sighed. "I was ugly. Inside and out."
Gwen peered at him. Giving his hand a squeeze, she replied, "You know...Darkstar said you were just an empty shell, and hunger was the only thing left inside of you. I think...it was just the opposite."
His dark pupils finally blinked at her. "Whaddya you mean?"
"I think you were overstuffed with a thirst for energy. And there wasn't enough room for the good man inside of you to break free." She smiled. "But he was still there, Kevin."
Immediately, his head shook in disagreement. "No he wasn't."
"If the good man hadn't been there, the person I love wouldn't be sitting here now."
He visibly swallowed.
"But you are here now. And that's all that matters."
Again breaking the interweaving of their hands, he abruptly pushed himself to his feet. "That's not all that matters, Gwen."
"Yes it is." Her lips parted, looking askance at his statement. "We can just forget about everything that happened. It's not important anymore."
His voice was starting to get louder. "I can't just forget about it."
She curled her fingers around the step she was resting on. "Why not?"
He blinked at her, like the answer should've been obvious. "Because I hurt you."
"Kevin-"
"A-and I enjoyed it, Gwen."
"You didn't enjoy it. The thirst for hunger being satisfied made you believe you were enjoying it."
Clenching his jaw, his face melted into an expression of intermingled fear and anger, eyebrows furrowing and mouth frowning. His tone was also heavy with it. The quickness of his footsteps was increasing. "What if I go crazy again?"
"We would find a way to fix you." Her back straightened. "Like we always do."
"You wouldn't be safe around me, Gwen."
"Kevin," she breathed, "I would never stop wanting to be with you just for that reason."
"What if I try to hurt you again, huh? What if-"
Gwen stood up beside him with a shake of her head. "That's never going to happen."
"What if it does?"
"It won't."
His hands jerked when he spoke. "How can you say that? How do you know I won't become a monster and try to hurt you?" he sputtered.
"Because you're a good person. Even when you might be drunk with power, underneath all that you're still a good person." She smiled a small, toothless smile, giving a noise that somewhat resembled breathy laughter from her nose. "I'll never stop believing in you."
His head shifted, voice almost sounding like a whimper. "I don't...I don't deserve that."
"Yes you do," Gwen insisted, stepping towards him, "Kevin look at me."
He squeezed his eyes shut, face aimed towards the ground.
"Kevin. Look at me."
"Gwen-"
Her tone was soft yet stern. "Kevin. Look at me."
With an exhale, he slowly raised his gaze to hers.
Gwen closed the space between them, outstretching her grip to touch his cheek. "Kevin. You do deserve it. A-and not just me. You deserve people that believe in you."
He gulped. "I-I don't deserve you."
"Don't say that," she argued, "We're equals. What just happened doesn't put you on lower ground than me."
"You stopped Ben from tryin' to kill me. Meanwhile, I kept goin' after you. We're not-"
"In the beginning you didn't. And I don't blame you for eventually coming after me. It was the power." She leaned her face in close to his. "This wasn't your fault," Gwen whispered.
His eyes brimmed with the exceptional amount of vulnerability only she was ever allowed to see, because he trusted that she would treat it carefully. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know," she said, looping her arms around his neck, "I know you didn't."
