The Council had made the decision that the search team would leave at dawn and Abby had spent a fitful night in her room since then waiting for the hours to pass. Her cot was narrow with only a stiff covering over the iron frame. Most nights she was so tired she didn't notice and fell asleep easily but last night she felt as though she was skinless, just raw nerves and sharp bones hard against cold canvas. It was too uncomfortable to rest easily. She had finally slipped into sleep just as the first fingers of light were breaking through the dark and then the sound of many pairs of boots clattering along the metal floor outside in the hall had brought her back to consciousness too soon.
There was a sharp rap on her door and she dragged herself into a sitting position as the door opened and Marcus Kane entered. He was dressed for the mission in a black jacket, trousers and utility vest. She appraised him through sleepy eyes. His beard was really growing in now. He looked more awake than she felt although his black hair was still mussed up from sleeping. Perhaps conscious that she had noticed some dishevelment, he ran his hand through the waves to tame them as he stood in the doorway.
"Is it time?" Abby asked. "Yes," said Marcus. "In fact we're running a little behind schedule." His eyes scanned her as she sat on the cot, and Abby could suddenly see herself as he must be doing, her crumpled clothes and bleary eyes. She felt self-conscious and also indignant at his disapproving look. She had been up late tweaking a new anaesthetic for him to take on the journey. Marcus looked at his watch. "You seem to have slept in. You should have been in Medical ten minutes ago."
"Well, thank you for the wake-up call," she said, not bothering to soften the edge in her voice. She swung her legs over the side of the cot and Marcus stepped forward to offer his hand to her as she pulled herself up. She hesitated but then took it; she still found certain movements painful after the bone marrow operation. His hand was warm as it folded around hers. He held on to her as she stood facing him. His brown eyes met hers and despite her annoyance at his presumptuousness she felt the familiar flutter in her stomach as she held his gaze. After a long second she pulled her hand from his and placed it lightly on his chest, plucking at the frayed edge of his vest strap.
"You know I still don't understand why you're so against going on this mission," she said, pulling a stray piece of fabric away from the strap. "You were the only one who voted against last night. If our people are out there we have to do everything we can to save them."
Marcus stepped back. "That's the problem, though. I don't think our people are in that ship. It's been more than two months since we came to ground. Why haven't we heard anything from them before now? Why haven't they sent scouts out like we have?"
Abby moved over to the basin and splashed her face with water. "Because Grounders are holding siege to them. That's what the scout reported." Marcus handed her a towel and she patted herself dry with it.
"For two months? If that is the case, then they will have run out of supplies by now. We are risking the lives of fifteen of OUR people to rescue the dead."
"Well we don't know that for sure, and that's why we have to go." Abby tied her hair back into a loose ponytail. "Can you just..." She twirled her fingers round to indicate he should look the other way. Marcus raised an eyebrow but turned his back as she took off her dirty trousers and pulled on a cleaner pair.
"There has already been too much death, Abby. And what about Clarke? We should be out there looking for her."
Abby put her hand on Marcus's shoulder and turned him back round to face her again. "Clarke doesn't want to be found yet, Marcus. When she's ready, she will find a way to let us know."
Marcus gave a small smile, though his brow was furrowed. "I hope you're right about this."
They looked at each other a moment longer.
"I won't see you again before I leave. I have to finish getting the vehicles ready." Marcus said. He moved his hand towards her and for a moment she thought he was going to touch her face but then he dropped it. "May we meet again."
"Be safe," said Abby. "I'll be at the gates for your return."
A small sigh escaped Marcus as he turned and left the room. Abby watched him go for a moment, an unsettled feeling in her stomach. Despite what she had said she did fear for him and his mission. She wasn't sure why he was so reluctant to go, though. If there was the slightest chance, they had to try. There was also that complicated something she had felt for him for some time now. She cared for him, there was no doubt. They had always had a fractious relationship, particularly back on the Ark. His punishment of her with the shock lashing though had changed things between them. It could have pushed them apart and Abby found the memory of it painful and still bore the physical scars. She knew she had left Marcus with little choice though by breaking the rules.
When he came into Medical afterwards she had hated him for a moment, hated his stiff adherence to the rule of law. His decision to lead a search party for the kids had therefore come as a big surprise and she had felt a surge of respect for him, that he had the courage to step back and realise that there was another way. He said he had heard her and once he was clear in his own mind that it was the right way he had acted with swift efficiency. They had both softened and bent a little towards each other after that and with everything that had happened up at Mount Weather they had become more of a unit, despite their disagreements.
Abby pulled on her work boots, grabbed her back pack and left her sleeping compartment, making her way along the halls to the medical unit. The halls were full of people in similar clothing to Marcus, all laden down with back packs and weapons, moving purposefully toward the main exit. Abby turned left away from the main throng and entered Medical. Jackson was already there, packing cases with all the equipment they could spare. The scout who brought them news of the surviving station had not been able to make contact with anyone in the remains of the ship. The grounder crew laying siege to the main structure prevented movement in or out. The scout had reported the sporadic firing of weapons from the ship and surmised that there must be survivors.
Abby smiled at Jackson. "How are we doing with the supplies?" Jackson opened up a hard-backed silver case crammed with medicines, syringes and bandages and showed it to her. "It's difficult to know how much to pack. We don't know if there is one survivor or fifty, or how many of them are injured." Jackson replied. Abby pulled the suitcase towards her and rummaged through its contents. "Well, we have fifteen people going with Kane on the mission and they will need supplies as well just in case there are any incidents on the way." She looked through the boxes Jackson had laid out on the table which represented all the medicinal supplies they had, doing a quick inventory of the contents. There wasn't nearly as much as she would have liked. "Let's fill three of these cases, one for each truck and a portable kit for each rescuer." She looked at the clock on the wall; there was fifteen minutes left before the rescuers were due to depart at six. "We'd better hurry; they'll be here for these soon."
In the vehicle hold, Marcus began loading arms and supplies into the lead truck, which he would be commanding. He was more than uneasy about this mission. The journey to the crash site was a long one, even in the trucks they had got from Mount Weather, and fraught with danger from the terrain and from grounders. They had no idea what they would find when they eventually reached the crashed station. The scout was certain there were survivors but as he had argued at Council last night, Marcus did not believe it. He was worried they were heading for a trap.
He secured the supplies to the inside of the truck with straps. There was just room left for the medical cases which Abby and her team were preparing. His meeting with her earlier had left him with an unsatisfactory feeling. He had never meant it to be anything more than a perfunctory call to let her know they were leaving but he had been undone by the sight of her still drowsy from sleep. He had not given much thought to what she was doing when he knocked and immediately opened the door. Inside he found she had just woken and was sitting on her cot all languid limbs and heavy eyelids, her hair loose and untamed. She had looked at him with unguarded eyes, making him feel completely naked in front of her. Her hand was warm to touch when it grasped his and when he pulled her up she was so close he could smell the sleep on her, of rumpled, slept-in clothes and heated skin. She had placed her hand on his chest and his pulse had quickened at the gesture, until he realised she was just tidying him up. They had argued about the mission again, but he had wanted to say something more personal. But what? That she disturbed him? That he was worried he would never see her again; that the thought upset him?
He had known her all his life. They had grown up together on the Ark. He had been a gawky, serious child whose strict religious upbringing had left him with a belief in a pre-ordained order of things. She had parents who were liberal and indulgent and Abby had seemed to him like a creature he had read about from Earth history – a butterfly; bright and fluttery and always just out of reach. They were the same age but like most girls Abby had grown up quicker than Marcus and she had lauded that maturity over him, teasing him and keeping him at arm's length like the small child he was in her eyes.
Marcus stroked his beard absentmindedly as he thought about the young Abby. His fingers brushed a small scar on his lower lip and the memory of how he came by it bubbled to the surface. They were twelve years old and spent a lot of time with each other because their parents worked together in Engineering. Left to their own devices when not at lessons, they roamed the Ark role-playing hunters and warriors. Marcus remembered it was hot that particular day; something to do with the heat conductors playing up. The adults were all at a meeting in the Mess Hall to discuss the problem and Marcus and Abby were free to stalk pretend enemies through the hallways. They had reached the Administration Centre and the grey, forbidding door of the Chancellor's office lay ahead. "There is nowhere else for the enemy to go, Marcus," Abby whispered. "They must be hiding inside. We have to get into the office." She tried the door, turning the handle but it just spun in its socket without releasing. Marcus was alarmed. "We can't go in there Abby. Chancellor Wells has forbidden it!" His pleas were in vain though because Abby was already picking at the lock with a pin from her hair. She gave him a satisfied look when the lock clicked open. He looked behind them down the length of the hallway to see if anyone was looking. They seemed to be completely alone. Abby had opened the door and was already inside. Marcus hesitated. He was as curious as she was deep down, but he was scared of the consequences of being caught in the Chancellor's office. "Come on, Marcus!" It was a challenge she was issuing he knew, one he had to accept or be forever the young boy in her eyes. He had followed her in; as she must have known he would.
Of course they had been caught, and faced with the stern gaze of the Chancellor and the disappointed look of his mother Marcus had crumbled and blamed Abby for the whole thing. "You're a big sneak, Kane" she had said, her eyes narrowing at him and her lips set in a pout and then she'd picked up a small metal cup from the table and hurled it at him. It was so unexpected he had no time to react and it caught his lip, bursting it open so he could taste fresh, warm blood; the taste of humiliation. He had deserved it though; he knew that even then.
Marcus smiled to himself as he touched the scar, remembering the way she had looked when she saw what she had done. Wild strands of her long brown hair were plastered to her face because she was hot with exertion and temper. Her brown eyes were wide with shock but there was a slight upturn at the corner of her mouth – a hint of triumph. Marcus had felt a quivering feeling in his stomach under that gaze, like someone was stirring a spoon round his insides. It made him feel sick and excited at the same time. He didn't understand the feeling at the time, though he did later. It was what loving Abby felt like.
"Something amusing you, Kane?" Marcus jumped as Sinclair's voice intruded into his memories. "Just remembering what it was to be young," Marcus replied. "I'm surprised you can remember that far back." Sinclair grinned. Marcus smiled at his old friend and patted him on the arm in greeting. "Have you got the medical supplies?" Sinclair nodded. Three men with Sinclair were holding a large silver case each and a fourth was laden with two long metal boxes. "These are the cases with supplies for the ark station and there are a couple of boxes of extra food supplies." Marcus nodded. "Put one case in each truck," he directed the men. "The food can go in here," he said, indicating his own vehicle.
With the trucks fully stocked it was time to leave. Marcus got into the driving seat of the lead truck and the convoy bumped across the uneven ground towards the main gates. As the gates were slowly opening, Marcus looked out of the window at the small crowd of fifty or so people who had come to see them off. Most of them probably had friends or family on the missing stations. Their hopeful faces made him anxious but also lifted him. If they only made one of these faces smile on their return then it would be worth it. It was up to him to keep his fellow rescuers safe and make sure they all returned in one piece to Arkadia. He scanned the crowd for a glimpse of Abby; he felt a deep-seated need to see her one more time, but she was not there.
