Author's Note: I was listening to the radio, and I heard [not for the first
time] this incredibly sweet, lovely song by Daniel Bedingfield, and a light
bulb went off in my head. I felt it appropriate for this fic, so I fit it
together into a song fic. Hope you enjoy it.
If You're Not The One
By like a falling star
~ If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all ~
Three days ago, Hermione told me that she loved me. Three days ago, she awakened a part of me that I never knew existed..
We'd been having another one of our infamous rows. Everyone else had retreated from the Common Room back to the relative safety of their own dorms. I could practically feel the Griffindor Tower shaking with our rage. Our fight was nothing out of the ordinary. It was about Krum, of course. Always about Victor bloody Krum.
"Ron," Hermione had cried. "Can we please stop this.. this fighting? It's ridiculous, Ron. I don't want us to spoil what we have." Her voice had been no more than a hoarse whisper. I had wanted to give in right then, but then I realized that it was that idiot Krum that was making her - us - miserable in the first place, so I refused to budge.
"What do we have?" I had sneered. I had been in a temper, and tended to say and do things without first consulting my brain.
"We're friends, aren't we, Ron?" Hermione had pleaded, her voice cracking slightly.
It was then that I knew I had gone too far. But it had been too late to take back what I had said.
~ I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
~
"Ron, please don't.. Oh, Ron, I have to tell you.. I love you!" Hermione had then squeezed her eyes shut very tightly, as if she couldn't believe what she had done.
Then she turned and fled.
It didn't hit me till a long while later.
*
~ I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? ~
"It's been three days, Harry. Three days!" I huff.
Harry shrugs. "I dunno, mate, you ought to talk to her." He sounds bored. If I supposed that if I were him, I would be, too, because we've had this conversation about a hundred times.
"I told you, I've tried! But then she goes all pale and shaky whenever I enter the room, you know, and I feel obliged to leave immediately."
Harry opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "Besides, what am I supposed to say? I can't very well tell Hermione sorry, I don't love you back, and can we please return to being best friends, thank you very much?"
"Why on earth would you want to lie to her?"
"That would break her heart, that would, and I'd feel like a grade-A prat." I continue, ignoring his question.
"You could tell her something else, you know." Seamus offers from his spot on his bed, where he and Dean are lying on their stomachs, comparing notes on their list of the 'Top Ten Prettiest Witches In Hogwarts'.
"Why's Parvati on your list?" Dean asks, peering at Seamus' list.
"You said yourself last year that she was the prettiest girl in the year!" Seamus argues, looking bewildered. He clearly doesn't get the point.
Dean frowns. "So? You aren't allowed to look at her.. in that way, you know."
"Why not? You do, you perverted arse."
Dean blushes. "Yes, but I'm allowed to. You aren't."
~ If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
~
"Tell me what to do!" I say desperately, falling back onto my bed.
"It's really simple." Harry instructs. "Just go up to her, and say, 'Hermione, I really like you too.' That's it. That's all it takes. Now go!"
"But I don't like her! I-I mean, not in that way!" I protest, my voice squeaky as it goes when I'm nervous. Or lying. Damn voice.
"Whatever, Ron." Dean drawls lazily, his quill scratching noisily on a scroll of parchment as he added another name to his list. "We all know you fancy her to bits."
"I do not!" I don't like Hermione. Really, I don't. She's my best friend, is all.
"Tell me, Ron, what did you do last year when Hermione went to the Ball with Krum?" Seamus asks, smirking.
Damn him. I mean, I know I was acting like a right bloody prat, but it was only because Hermione was fraternizing with the enemy! I was acting for the good of the Hogwarts' champions! "I didn't do anything." I say sulkily.
"Right." Seamus sniggers. "You spent the whole time ignoring Padma.."
"Glowering at Krum.." Dean adds. I glare at him.
"Staring at Hermione.."
"I was not!" Come to think of it, I was. Hmm. Strange, isn't it? But it was only because she looked very different that night! Really, I don't fancy Hermione. Why would I? She's a teacher's pet, an insufferable know-it-all, and, to top it all off, she's my best friend. You just don't go around liking your best friend. It's morally incorrect. "She was fraternizing with the enemy! I was just doing my part as a Hogwarts' student!"
"Sure." Seamus says sarcastically. "I reckon if you repeat it a few more times and you might actually believe it yourself."
"Hahahahaha." I deadpan sourly.
Harry crosses the room and picks up Dean's and Seamus' lists, scanning them. "Isn't this interesting." He says, with a sort of smile on his face. "Hermione's number nine."
"What!?!" I screech.
"Oh, don't worry, it's all in random order." Dean tells me breezily. "If it were in order I'd reckon she's number seven."
"What!?!" I screech again. "Accio! Accio!" I brandish my wand rather fiercely, as the parchment zooms towards me. Sure enough, she's number nine on Dean's list, and five on Seamus'.
As I scrutinize the lists, I discover that Ginny is on Dean's list as well! How dare he! But that's for later. I have to concentrate on the problem at hand. I don't know why, but finding Hermione's name on this list.. it's too demeaning for words. It's like she's just another girl, just another name on the list. Which she ISN'T. I mean, she's very pretty, that much is obvious, and she deserves more than anyone else to top the list, but that isn't the point.
~ I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
~
I realize, a little too late, that the three of them are sniggering, and not at all bothering to hide it.
"What?" I demand.
"It's pretty obvious, isn't it, mate?" Seamus says, trying to keep the smile off his face.
Before I can ask what's so bloody obvious, Harry adds, "You get jealous just seeing her name on a list! You get jealous when other guys notice her. You get jealous when she pays attention to any other guy besides you! Doesn't that tell you anything?"
"Yeah, wake up, mate! You're bloody in love with her!" Dean says shrewdly.
I realize with a jolt that he's right. I am jealous. I have been a great horrible git all along. And, yes, I admit that I do love Hermione. And that I'm bloody in love with her.
Oh Merlin.
*
"Hermione! Hermione!" I rush down to the Common Room. "I need to talk to you!"
Hermione looks up from the pile of books spread before her on the table, confused at first, then relieved, and then a wintry look clouds her unbelievably adorable features. Funny how I never noticed them before. "Could we take this somewhere quieter, please?" she asks pointedly.
I lead her to a corner of the room, silently praying for courage. "Hermione, I need to clear things up a bit."
She purses her lips, but remains silent.
"Three days ago, you told me that you loved me." I say. "And, the thing is, Hermione, I.. I reckon that I love you too."
~ I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? ~
Her features clear up, but then a hurt look comes over her face.
"Hermione.." I touch her arm lightly. She flinches, and I feel a stab of inexplicable pain at her action.
"You led me on, Ron. What was I supposed to think?" Her lips tremble. "I hated myself for telling you about how I felt."
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. Please don't cry." I tell her sincerely. "I didn't know what was happening to me at the time. Now I'm completely sure of how I feel, Hermione." I touch her arm again, and this time she doesn't shake me off. "Will you please accept my apology? Will you please have me?"
"Oh, Ron!" She collapses into my arms, sobbing heavily. "I was so.. lonely.. and afraid. I thought that you hated me.."
I hated myself just then, for how I'd acted.. I wrapped my arms around her, wondering how I could have been such a blatant, ignorant fool. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I whispered repeatedly, my lips brushing her hair.
She looks up at me and smiles. She then buries her face in my chest and I feel like I'm about to explode with happiness.
"I love you, Hermione. Really, I do. Everything's all right now."
~ 'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side ~
*
If You're Not The One
By like a falling star
~ If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all ~
Three days ago, Hermione told me that she loved me. Three days ago, she awakened a part of me that I never knew existed..
We'd been having another one of our infamous rows. Everyone else had retreated from the Common Room back to the relative safety of their own dorms. I could practically feel the Griffindor Tower shaking with our rage. Our fight was nothing out of the ordinary. It was about Krum, of course. Always about Victor bloody Krum.
"Ron," Hermione had cried. "Can we please stop this.. this fighting? It's ridiculous, Ron. I don't want us to spoil what we have." Her voice had been no more than a hoarse whisper. I had wanted to give in right then, but then I realized that it was that idiot Krum that was making her - us - miserable in the first place, so I refused to budge.
"What do we have?" I had sneered. I had been in a temper, and tended to say and do things without first consulting my brain.
"We're friends, aren't we, Ron?" Hermione had pleaded, her voice cracking slightly.
It was then that I knew I had gone too far. But it had been too late to take back what I had said.
~ I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
~
"Ron, please don't.. Oh, Ron, I have to tell you.. I love you!" Hermione had then squeezed her eyes shut very tightly, as if she couldn't believe what she had done.
Then she turned and fled.
It didn't hit me till a long while later.
*
~ I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? ~
"It's been three days, Harry. Three days!" I huff.
Harry shrugs. "I dunno, mate, you ought to talk to her." He sounds bored. If I supposed that if I were him, I would be, too, because we've had this conversation about a hundred times.
"I told you, I've tried! But then she goes all pale and shaky whenever I enter the room, you know, and I feel obliged to leave immediately."
Harry opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "Besides, what am I supposed to say? I can't very well tell Hermione sorry, I don't love you back, and can we please return to being best friends, thank you very much?"
"Why on earth would you want to lie to her?"
"That would break her heart, that would, and I'd feel like a grade-A prat." I continue, ignoring his question.
"You could tell her something else, you know." Seamus offers from his spot on his bed, where he and Dean are lying on their stomachs, comparing notes on their list of the 'Top Ten Prettiest Witches In Hogwarts'.
"Why's Parvati on your list?" Dean asks, peering at Seamus' list.
"You said yourself last year that she was the prettiest girl in the year!" Seamus argues, looking bewildered. He clearly doesn't get the point.
Dean frowns. "So? You aren't allowed to look at her.. in that way, you know."
"Why not? You do, you perverted arse."
Dean blushes. "Yes, but I'm allowed to. You aren't."
~ If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
~
"Tell me what to do!" I say desperately, falling back onto my bed.
"It's really simple." Harry instructs. "Just go up to her, and say, 'Hermione, I really like you too.' That's it. That's all it takes. Now go!"
"But I don't like her! I-I mean, not in that way!" I protest, my voice squeaky as it goes when I'm nervous. Or lying. Damn voice.
"Whatever, Ron." Dean drawls lazily, his quill scratching noisily on a scroll of parchment as he added another name to his list. "We all know you fancy her to bits."
"I do not!" I don't like Hermione. Really, I don't. She's my best friend, is all.
"Tell me, Ron, what did you do last year when Hermione went to the Ball with Krum?" Seamus asks, smirking.
Damn him. I mean, I know I was acting like a right bloody prat, but it was only because Hermione was fraternizing with the enemy! I was acting for the good of the Hogwarts' champions! "I didn't do anything." I say sulkily.
"Right." Seamus sniggers. "You spent the whole time ignoring Padma.."
"Glowering at Krum.." Dean adds. I glare at him.
"Staring at Hermione.."
"I was not!" Come to think of it, I was. Hmm. Strange, isn't it? But it was only because she looked very different that night! Really, I don't fancy Hermione. Why would I? She's a teacher's pet, an insufferable know-it-all, and, to top it all off, she's my best friend. You just don't go around liking your best friend. It's morally incorrect. "She was fraternizing with the enemy! I was just doing my part as a Hogwarts' student!"
"Sure." Seamus says sarcastically. "I reckon if you repeat it a few more times and you might actually believe it yourself."
"Hahahahaha." I deadpan sourly.
Harry crosses the room and picks up Dean's and Seamus' lists, scanning them. "Isn't this interesting." He says, with a sort of smile on his face. "Hermione's number nine."
"What!?!" I screech.
"Oh, don't worry, it's all in random order." Dean tells me breezily. "If it were in order I'd reckon she's number seven."
"What!?!" I screech again. "Accio! Accio!" I brandish my wand rather fiercely, as the parchment zooms towards me. Sure enough, she's number nine on Dean's list, and five on Seamus'.
As I scrutinize the lists, I discover that Ginny is on Dean's list as well! How dare he! But that's for later. I have to concentrate on the problem at hand. I don't know why, but finding Hermione's name on this list.. it's too demeaning for words. It's like she's just another girl, just another name on the list. Which she ISN'T. I mean, she's very pretty, that much is obvious, and she deserves more than anyone else to top the list, but that isn't the point.
~ I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
~
I realize, a little too late, that the three of them are sniggering, and not at all bothering to hide it.
"What?" I demand.
"It's pretty obvious, isn't it, mate?" Seamus says, trying to keep the smile off his face.
Before I can ask what's so bloody obvious, Harry adds, "You get jealous just seeing her name on a list! You get jealous when other guys notice her. You get jealous when she pays attention to any other guy besides you! Doesn't that tell you anything?"
"Yeah, wake up, mate! You're bloody in love with her!" Dean says shrewdly.
I realize with a jolt that he's right. I am jealous. I have been a great horrible git all along. And, yes, I admit that I do love Hermione. And that I'm bloody in love with her.
Oh Merlin.
*
"Hermione! Hermione!" I rush down to the Common Room. "I need to talk to you!"
Hermione looks up from the pile of books spread before her on the table, confused at first, then relieved, and then a wintry look clouds her unbelievably adorable features. Funny how I never noticed them before. "Could we take this somewhere quieter, please?" she asks pointedly.
I lead her to a corner of the room, silently praying for courage. "Hermione, I need to clear things up a bit."
She purses her lips, but remains silent.
"Three days ago, you told me that you loved me." I say. "And, the thing is, Hermione, I.. I reckon that I love you too."
~ I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? ~
Her features clear up, but then a hurt look comes over her face.
"Hermione.." I touch her arm lightly. She flinches, and I feel a stab of inexplicable pain at her action.
"You led me on, Ron. What was I supposed to think?" Her lips tremble. "I hated myself for telling you about how I felt."
"I'm so sorry, Hermione. Please don't cry." I tell her sincerely. "I didn't know what was happening to me at the time. Now I'm completely sure of how I feel, Hermione." I touch her arm again, and this time she doesn't shake me off. "Will you please accept my apology? Will you please have me?"
"Oh, Ron!" She collapses into my arms, sobbing heavily. "I was so.. lonely.. and afraid. I thought that you hated me.."
I hated myself just then, for how I'd acted.. I wrapped my arms around her, wondering how I could have been such a blatant, ignorant fool. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I whispered repeatedly, my lips brushing her hair.
She looks up at me and smiles. She then buries her face in my chest and I feel like I'm about to explode with happiness.
"I love you, Hermione. Really, I do. Everything's all right now."
~ 'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side ~
*
