When Itachi tells Deidara he's moving away, Deidara accepts it. He accepts everything Itachi says.

He likes to think of it as his own personal anesthetic. If he simply accepts what comes to him, there is less pain, he reasons.

Much less pain.


Lately Deidara can't stop thinking about Itachi leaving. He wonders if they will still be able to be boyfriends if Itachi is in the next town.

Deidara's first thought is that, of course, they will still be boyfriends. He'll drive to see Itachi every few days. They'll keep in touch.

He accepts this as the truth.


When Itachi tells Deidara the move was canceled, Deidara is happy about it.

Deidara doesn't want to be happy.

Deidara wants to be neutral. He wants to be neutral and emotionless like Itachi is, because Itachi is perfect.

Even though Deidara can never be perfect like Itachi is, he still must try, and he accepts this fact.

When he accepts it he feels a little more emotionless.

(He accepts this, too.)


Itachi says he loves Deidara.

Deidara wants to accept this. He wants so much to be able to accept this.

He can't accept this.

It isn't true.

It doesn't even hurt, he realizes. Deep down he has known Itachi didn't really love him, for a long time.

Itachi wants Deidara to believe that he loves him, so Deidara tries to be like Itachi and let it happen. After all, Itachi is perfect, and Deidara must strive to be like him.


Deidara likes the new social detachment his motto has given him.

Nothing Itachi says or does hurts him, and he accepts this new fact.

He has accepted things his whole life.

By the time he has moved in with Itachi, he has accepted that "Itachi loves him."

Yet at the same time he knows it isn't true.

When Itachi wants to leave in the middle of the night, Deidara accepts this.

When Itachi notices him, awake, with an accepting look in his eyes, he says his boss called him. Deidara accepts this, too.

He must not looked convinced enough, accepting enough; Itachi leans into him, whispers in his ear that he'll be back. He accepts it.

When Itachi doesn't come back the next morning, or the morning after, he accepts that, too.

He doesn't cry about it. His life goes on as usual, minus Itachi.

He. simply. accepts it.

And life. goes. on.