Tina knows.

She knows her crush on Blaine is fruitless. She even thinks sometimes that it's maybe a little creepy, except...Well, except then wouldn't Blaine's crush on Sam be creepy too? But Blaine is the best and totally not creepy in any way. You can't help who you fall for, after all.

Still. There are feelings and then there are actions. No matter what perverted thoughts Blaine might have about Sam, he's never crossed any lines action-wise. Tina herself...Well, she's working on it. But, yes, if she's being honest, she has to admit she's crossed over into creepy a time or two.

Blaine's such a sweetheart about the whole thing, though. He's never made fun of her over any of it. And he's certainly not the one who started throwing the word rape around about the VapoRub incident. (Tina will never forgive Kurt for that. Not for that and not for being such a dickhead to Blaine, who deserves so much better.) Blaine has treated her like a bestie through this whole thing, even when most people—Tina included—would have totally understood if he'd wanted to put some distance between them.

Once in a while he does something that seems just a tiny bit boyfriendy. Tina is getting better at reminding herself that he is just being his usual outgoing self, that he would never intentionally lead her on, and that any boyfriendy overtones are entirely in her own head. Like maybe not everyone just randomly gives their friends small gifts, but Blaine does because he is so thoughtful and generous.

Like today at school.

Today at school, out of nowhere, Blaine stopped by her locker with his hands behind his back and told her to pick one. The hand she picked was empty, but Blaine handed over the gift from his other hand anyway. "Aw, Bling-Bling! It's a..." She read from the package. "...a 'squiggle wiggle writer'?"

"Yeah! It's like, a motorized pen that vibrates and makes your writing all squiggly."

Tina didn't know what to say.

Blaine shrugged and said, "I saw it in the clearance bin and, I don't know, it seemed fun, and I just thought of you for some reason."

"I love it!" Tina said, and she gave him a quick and totally platonic hug. "Thank you!"

She wrote him a thank-you note with it during her next class. The motor was kind of loud, and if McKinley were a normal school she might have worried about getting in trouble for being disruptive, but after the many times she and her friends had literally broken into song in the middle of class with no repercussions, she didn't even give it a second thought.

Now she's in her bedroom with the squiggle pen in her hand and a few sheets of stationery laid out on the desk in front of her. The problem is, there's no one she much feels like writing to. Well, she feels like writing to Blaine, but she already thanked him enough for a clearance-bin preset, and she's trying very hard to be not creepy. After several minutes of staring at the blank stationery while turning the pen on and off, she gets up and pulls her diary out of her underwear drawer instead.

She flops onto her stomach on the bed and starts to write. And write and write. She doesn't intend to write all about Blaine—god knows he's a topic already well covered in her diary—but, well, he did give her the pen, and the pen is the reason she's writing right now, and she can't very well just not explain why her handwriting looks so wiggly all of a sudden. What would her future biographer(s) think if she didn't give some explanation? This question amuses her, and she takes up a couple pages speculating on what conclusions they might reach if she weren't so forthcoming and helpful. So, see? She's not writing just about Blaine. Just mostly about Blaine.

She didn't exactly plan to devote a page and a half to Blaine's ass. But, yes, she's devoted a page and a half to Blaine's ass. Just his ass itself, not, like, things he would probably like to take inside his ass (*cough* Sam's dick *cough*).

Great.

Just fucking great.

Now she can't get that idea out of her head.

At least she has the decency not to follow this train of thought in writing. Because what if her future biographer(s) write her biography while Blaine is still alive!? He will probably be famous too, after all, and he's much less likely to die tragically young than she is. Then he would read it and be even more creeped out than he would be just by the description of his ass and...just no.

Anyway, she's been writing for well over an hour, and her wrist hurts from the squiggle-wiggling of the pen. She closes the diary, turns off the pen, and massages her wrist.

She remembers, suddenly, one time she saw Santana massaging her wrist in the exact same way. Tina asked if she was okay, and Santana replied, "I think I gave myself carpal tunnel with my vibrator last night."

Tina picks up the pen. The vibrating pen. She didn't especially notice the shape of it before now—she had no reason to think about it—but it's wide and rounded at the non-writing end. Just like a...

She's never used a vibrator before—she doesn't think she's ever even seen one in real life. She's considered trying one, but it's not like Lima is teeming with sex toy stores. And as for buying one online...her parents pay her credit card bill, and a purchase from SexToysOnline or something wouldn't go unnoticed.

But now she's got one right here in her hand, basically. And she's been obsessing about Blaine and his ass for about an hour. And it's been so long since she had an orgasm. She's never been able to get there on her own, and...and maybe this cheap toy won't help, but she's suddenly inspired to try.

She turns out the light, mainly so if her parents walk by they'll think she's gone to bed, and gets under the covers. Should she take her pajama pants and underwear all the way off, or just push them down a little? Well, if she does manage to come she'll probably want to be able to move her legs around freely, so off it is. She reaches down to touch her knees and stroke softly up her own thigh, like Mike used to do...except Mike is fucking dead to her and she is not thinking about him right now...

Blaine's hand glides up her inner thigh as he hovers over her. He looks into her eyes as he lowers himself to kiss her...

No.

God, no.

She can't...That's too far, even if it's just in her thoughts.

The thing is, she can't just turn off the thoughts about Blaine. Or if she could, it would be by thinking about something totally unrelated to the use she wants to put the squiggle wiggle pen to. So...she decides it's okay to think about Blaine, as long as she's not thinking of Blaine-and-herself.

Immediately her thoughts go back to Blaine taking it in the ass. That's safe, because it couldn't involve her. It's not like she can grow a penis.

Oh, but what if she could!?

No, Tina!

No, the person whose dick Blaine wants in his ass is Sam. The mental image of the two of them together is not unpleasant at all. Just think how much Sam probably wants him. Even though Sam is otherwise straight...what dick-owning person could possibly look at Blaine's ass and not want to be inside it?

Tina reaches between her legs and lets two fingers slide just inside her folds. She's not thinking about what it would be like if her clitoris could grow into a dick that Blaine would want her to fuck him with...but she does notice how she gets suddenly wetter when she doesn't think about that.

But Sam. Sam has an actual dick, one that probably gets all hard whenever he's around Blaine.

Sam and Blaine are alone in the locker room because...well, for whatever reason, it's not important. Sam's trying not to watch Blaine change, but he can't help but take a quick peek as Blaine strips off his shorts and his underwear and, god, his ass is so perfectly round and firm and tight...

Tina feels a little throb under her fingers. With her other hand she finds the pen and turns it on. The buzz seems very loud suddenly, and she has to remind herself that she was writing with it for an hour without attracting any attention, so it's very unlikely her parents are going to burst in on her now. She brings the pen under the covers and between her legs, presses the smooth end against her clit, and—Jesus Christ!—she was not prepared for the sudden jolt of intensity and has to pull the thing away immediately.

It's not that it wasn't good, it's that it was too good, too fast. She turns the pen back on and tries again, tentatively, testing out different spots and angles until she finds one close to but not directly touching her clitoris. If she doesn't press down too hard, the vibrations are strong but not too overwhelming. It's good, it's really good. She wonders whether when Blaine bought this he was thinking about...No. Blaine and Sam. What were they up to where she left them in the locker room? Oh yeah...

Blaine and his tight, round ass, and poor Sam trying not to stare, but how can he not? And then Blaine bends over, say he dropped something or whatever, and Sam's dick gets super hard at the sight, and he just wants to slide it right into Blaine's ass, he wants it more than anything, but of course you can't just do that, and he goes, "Jesus, Blaine, are you trying to torture me?"

And Blaine stands up and turns to him and he's got this totally innocent look on his face, because even though he's like sex personified he doesn't know it, and he's oblivious to the effect he has on people, and he goes, "What?"

And Sam goes, "You're just so...I want..." And he wants him so bad that he can't even speak, he just drops to his knees on the cold, hard locker room floor, and he gently turns Blaine around and holds a perfect ass cheek in each hand and goes, "God, Blaine..."

"Sam?" Blaine asks, voice cracking.

"Blaine, can I? Please?"

And Blaine, he doesn't know what's going on, and he can't think straight with Sam's hands on his ass, and he's not even sure what Sam is asking for but he's sure he wants it too and he goes, "Yeah, Sam. Please."

Sam starts kissing him, big, wet, open-mouthed kisses, starting on his lower back, moving down onto the curve of his ass, then lower still...

How low, exactly? Tina is totally in love with Blaine's ass, but is rimming something she actually wants to think about? It's certainly not something Tina has ever done in real life or probably would ever do, even if Blaine were suddenly straight and totally into her. On the other hand, she's just thinking now; it's not real. And she can back up in her little fantasy and stipulate that Blaine and Sam both just got out of the shower, so it wouldn't even be gross. Instead of taking his pants off at the beginning, Blaine dropped a towel from around his waist. And Blaine would probably love getting rimmed, and she wants him to enjoy this as much as Sam. Pressing down just a bit harder with the pen and discovering it's not too much, Tina continues...

Sam pushes Blaine—no, not pushes, but nudges him into position. Blaine complies eagerly and ends up bent at the waist, legs apart, knees bent so he can rest his hands on them and not fall over. Sam holds onto Blaine's hips and starts at his balls, licking them, slowly sucking one into his mouth. Blaine's eyelids flutter and he goes, "God..." And then Sam works his way up to Blaine's tight little hole, and he circles the ring of muscles with his tongue, and Blaine just groans. And Sam pokes his tongue inside, and Blaine gasps, and Sam wants to go slow but he can't, and before he knows it he's fucking Blaine with his tongue, and then with his tongue and a couple fingers, and Blaine, he...It feels so good he can't help but make these sort of thrusting motions, like he's fucking something even though there's just air in front of him, and Sam knows what he needs and reaches around with his free hand to grab Blaine's dick, and he strokes him while he continues tongue- and finger-fucking him, and Blaine comes hard, he cries out and spills, like, just a ton of white, hot, gooey come all over Sam's hand.

Fuck, Blaine's face looks so beautiful when he's in the throes of ecstasy. Tina knows exactly how he would look, even though she's only imagining it. She moves the pen a little and finds it's not too much anymore, even pressing directly against her clit.

Sam stays on his knees just long enough for Blaine to catch his breath. Then he straightens up and, running his hands all over Blaine's body because he can't possibly keep them to himself, and whispers into Blaine's ear, "I want to fuck you so bad."

"Yeah," Blaine gasps. "Yeah, I want you to."

Tina wonders if they'd need lube. Probably. But then she decides to pretend the spit from the rim job is enough, mainly so she doesn't have to interrupt her flow to have them conveniently discover a bottle of lube somewhere in the locker room.

Sam picks up the towel Blaine dropped earlier and folds it, then puts it on the bench. "So your knees won't get sore," he explains as he leads Blaine over to the bench too. Blaine gets onto his hands and knees. Sam stands behind him, between his legs, and lets his own towel drop. Blaine turns his head to look. He's always known Sam's an extraordinarily good looking guy, but he's never seen him all hard like this, hard and about to actually fuck someone, and not just someone but him! He really can't believe he's about to have that perfect cock inside him. Even though he just came he's getting hard again, hard and almost desperate, and he goes, "Sam, come on."

Sam pushes in slowly, as slowly as he can stand to. But Blaine keeps begging for more, and Sam, he may be rock hard but he's not made of stone. He quickly abandons any pretense of being slow or careful and just fucks Blaine as hard and as fast as he can. He's close, he's so fucking close.

Tina presses the vibrator as hard against her clit as she can. She's close, she's so fucking close.

Blaine moans loudly with every one of Sam's thrusts.

Tina whines softly with every one of Sam's thrusts.

Sam slams in one final time before his cock starts to erupt inside Blaine.

Tina starts to come at the exact moment Sam does. She grabs a spare pillow and bites it to keep from screaming as she writhes and kicks off her blankets, the whole time picturing Sam's ecstatic facial expression as he comes in Blaine's ass. Eventually her orgasm winds down, but before she can turn off the pen and catch her breath, another image pops up...

Blaine feels Sam's come gush inside him, feels it start to flood his insides. That feeling plus one last slam directly into his prostate sends Blaine over the edge again without even touching his dick. He digs his fingers into the hard wooden bench and he screams...

Tina digs her fingers into her pillow and screams into it, second orgasm even stronger than the first. Blaine is just so hot taking it in the ass, taking it in the ass and fucking loving it. Jesus.

Jesus, Tina can't remember ever coming so hard. It takes her a long time just to catch her breath after she finally turns the thing off, and then she doesn't have the energy to put her pajama pants or even her underwear back on. She falls asleep thinking that the squiggle pen is as close to magic as anything that actually exists. And Blaine, of course, for giving it to her...even though she knows he had no idea.

She uses it again the next night, and again the night after that, and...well, not every night from then on, but often enough that she has to stock up on batteries pretty regularly. It sort of becomes routine even, which is, like, good in a way. Her mood seems to improve overall; her stress is more manageable. And she starts thinking about stuff other than Blaine when she uses it, which is huge progress in her goal of getting over her hopeless crush. After a while she really doesn't associate the pen with Blaine at all.

But it's not like she forgets its origins entirely.

Shortly before graduation Blaine gives her a wrapped gift, and her mind flashes to the pen, which was the last gift he gave her. She wonders if she's blushing a little as she opens the package.

"It's a selfie stick!" Blaine announces before she even has a chance to read the box for herself.

And even though she knows he won't get it, Tina says, "But, Blaine, you already gave me a selfie stick!" And she turns and winks at Sam, who doesn't get it either.