Hey guys, Oh and i'm up for an award : So I'm
still BEGGING for somebody to write me a Shane One-shot.:( VOTE FOR ME. click the link
on my profile, that'll work. and please review and write me a
little one shot -Angel.
I've been
in the mood to write a one-shot for a while,
my last one-shot did
purrtttyyy good,
Think, Relax, Love.
It was Nate-Centric,
I
had a Jason-Centric,
and I wondered why I didn't have a Shane
Centric,
when he's my favourite.
Oh well,
it's here
now.
Review please!!
hehe,
i don't know why, but please vote for me?
I'll love you
forever,
The profile is:
If that doesn't work:
Pm me
if you do, because I really really want one.
It's okay if you
can't,
But if you can,
there's i'm writing a new chapter story
(due after LAL) and i'll include a certain somebody..
enough
bribing..
i'm probably going to leave this site soon, my
inspiration is gone,
i've been pretty upset lately, due to normal
teenage stuff of course,
oh it was my beeday on october first by
the way, so, this is my present to you (odd huh)
I'll be accepting
any presents/birthday wishes!!
Haha,
so here's the
one-shot,
there is no specific girl and it may sound like she's
suicidal at the beginnig,
- I actually intentionally wrote it like
that, so you wouldn't guess what it was about right away-
but I
changed my mind.
So anyways,
LONG ENOUGH A/N huh?
Here's ' I
can see it in your eyes '.
The waves crash endlessly along the sand,
I try to decide how to finish this,
how to end it quickly, so it wont hurt me so badly,
so it wont hurt him for that long,
like it was a spontanious decision.
The footsteps behind me are far too quiet,
I talk to myself, thinking of how to do this,
like ripping off a band-aid,
the pain stings for an instant, then it all dissapears.
The person is far too quiet,
I'm started to feel the anxiety in my chest,
though I don't realize that he's there,
he knows that I haven't heard him yet,
so I continue thinking about my plan.
He steps beside me,
The thinking stops,
I see him,
My plan is ruined.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked.
I looked at him. Then I realized why this was so hard to do, why I caved everytime I tried. He was absolutly stunning. His dark, chocolate eyes, staring at me with deep curiosity. His hands were in his pants pockets, his hair being swished around by the wind. But tonight, tonight it was different, he was more radiant than ever.
His tuxedo fit him perfectly at every angle. He did look marvelous in a suit, the only teenage guy that I know who could look so mature in a tux. His eyes looked worried, curious, and sparkling.. like he knew what was going on. He didn't.
I sighed, looking down at the sand, letting the waves spray on my feet.
"Thinking."
He took another step forwards so that he was standing directly beside me, staring out to the lake, watching it glimmer underneath the moon. It was silent, I liked it, I liked this. He was always one that would enjoy silent moments with me instead of feeling the need to fill it with unecessary conversation. But tonight, it was different, I shifted away slightly, my hair flying across my face thanks to the fresh gust of air.
He frowned, examining my face curiously, "About what?" he finally asked.
I felt my heart break at that exact moment. Correction; Shatter. I swallowed the giant lump that was building in my throat, the tears stung my eyes, why wasn't I courageous like all of the other girls at the party? I was the weakest girl, the weakest person.
"Everything," I muttered, my eyes darting to the beach again.
Shane hesitated, but after a few minutes of considering, he stepped closer once again, ignoring my last move to get away from him. This time, he stopped directly infront of me, making me unable to look out to the lake or at the sand. Instead, I got a perfect few of myself from the reflection of his shiny shoes- I thanked whoever was watching over me that it was dark, I probably wasn't a pretty picture.
Shane raised his hand up, placing his finger under the palm of my chin, so I was forced to look into his eyes. Those eyes. My breath hitched, scared to move, afraid of what he could read in my watery blue spectacles.
"What are you thinking?" he asked me, but it sounded more like a thought. Like something that was running through his mind, not meant to be spoken aloud.
I shifted my eyes away, gazing at the other end of the beach, but he gently nudged my face. I glanced back, making eye contact with the most angelic guy in the world again, "Nothing," I murmered, finally answering his question, though my reply was utterly lame- he dropped his hand.
But now, he stepped closer, so that our faces were inches apart, "I can read you like a book," he whispered, still looking directly in my eyes, "You can't lie to me that easily," a smirk pulled at the corners of his lips, but quickly vanished when he noticed that a tear had dropped silently down my cheek, and a smile was nowhere near my lips.
"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, a hushed voice that only I could hear.
I frowned, shutting my eyes, letting a few more tears escape and enjoy their route to the bottom of my face. I felt his hand taking mine; intertwining our fingers. My heart was breaking more and more, "I love you," I whispered, opening my eyes to watch his reaction.
He smiled lightly, lifting his hand to caress my cheek, which was pink from the cold, "I love you too," he spoke softly in a voice that knocked me off of my feet, "You know that you can tell me anything," he concluded.
I nodded, my breath hitching in my throat, my eyes averting away from his smile and to his shiny shoes, "I-I can't do this anymore," I whispered and his hand immediatly froze on my face, then dropped to his sides. The only sound I could hear were the waves. I had to admitt; I was too frightened and upset to scan over his reaction.
"What do you mean?"
I gave him credit for being so oblivious. He should've expected this, I had come so close to doing it in the past, it was just a matter of time. Don't get me wrong, I loved Shane, I love Shane, but my depression was catching up with me. Being his girlfriend is great, he treats me so good, I know that he loves me. I know that he doesn't love me as much as I love him. But the endless tours, which were easy to handle at first, were taking a toll on me. He rarely called and he came home for two days maximum.
It was much worse.
I sniffled and pressed my lips together, feeling the tears add up and pour from my eyes. I finally looked at him, he was frowning- he was hurt. I couldn't believe myself, I couldn't believe that I was hurting him. I didn't want it to be like this, if it was my way, it'd be me and Shane until the end, but it wasn't and for some reason, I couldn't see it happening. Not when their scheduale was like this.
"I-I'm sorry, Shane," I whispered, the tears endlessly dripping off of my chin, "I love you with everything in me, I will forever, but i'm hurting inside and it's getting to painful for me to handle," I pointed to my chest, trying to show him what I meant.
He frowned deeper, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose and pinching it, "Oh god," he muttered.
"I'm sorry!" I broke down, falling apart, my heart shattering so loud that it echoed through the beach. Sub-conciously, I ran to him, placing my hands on his shoulders, "I wish it could be different, I've tried so hard to change, I've tried to cope Shane-!"
He grunted, shrugging my hands off of his shoulders. He finally looked me in the eyes, they were glazed over in tears, "I should've expected this," he muttered, "I knew it, I knew I was doing this!"
I shook my head, scared to approach him again, "It's not your fault.. it's mine."
He glared at me, "How is this not my fault?" he asked, holding his arms out like it brought the answer to him, "I've left you alone, in a place full of people who are endlessly hurting you. I've toured for eleven months straight, barely visiting you. I'm an idiot," he groaned, throwing his head back and letting out an agonizing sound.
I cringed.
"What?"
I opened my eyes again to see him curiously looking at me.
"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered.
"I don't want to hurt you ," he said back, his voice cracking.
I sighed and felt the breeze pick up, knocking my sundress to the side, the yellow jumping off of the moon and making it stand out. He frowned and looked away, staring down the endless beach, making me wonder what he was thinking. Again, the wind rocked me, shooting the flower out of my hair, "Damn it," I muttered.
My cousin had given me that, she was three.
"Lily's going to be pissed," Shane finally muttered, staring off to where the flower disapeard.
I let out a laugh, through the tears, glancing at his face, "It's not the first one i've lost."
He grinned and turned to look at me, "Where does she find all of these lilies, anyways?" he asked me seriously, our previous conversation getting thrown away with the wind.
I shrugged, wiping my eyes, tears still falling freely, "She's adventurous, none of us are quite sure."
He smiled again and stepped forwards, slowly, he then opened his arms slightly. I sighed, staring at his hands, missing the feeling of our hands together already. Regardless, I moved forwads, straight into his arms. I tightly wrapped my cold arms around his neck and he grabbed onto my waist gently. I began to sob, really not wanting this to end.
"I'm so sorry," He whispered.
I sniffled and felt him pull back. He then placed a light kiss on my neck and I shut my eyes, feeling more in love than ever before. He continued by kissing my jaw, then my cheekbones, my forehead and my nose. Shane finally pulled away, staring into my eyes with a pain i've never seen before, "I- I don't know if I can do this," he said honestly.
I attempted to smile, unsuccesfully, "Me neither," I muttered.
"God I love you," he whispered, stroking my back with his hand.
I nodded, "I love you too, Shane, so much."
He leaned forwards, pressing his lips to mine, I kissed him back. I kissed him gently, rough, sweetly, and most of all, lovingly. Then he pulled away and stared into my eyes, "I know you do, I can see it in your eyes."
I smiled weakly.
"When the tours over, all this hectic buisiness stuff too, I don't expect you to be waiting," he told me.
I shook my head, "But I will be."
He smiled, satisfied with my answer, "Then.. this isn't the end?"
I shook my head, "I could never give you up."
Shane then did something unpredictable, he took my hand and pulled me into him and with a sly, Shane, voice, he whispered in my ear, "One last dance?"
I grinned, this was like a movie, the music from the wedding reception was easy enough to hear. I smiled, nuzzling my head into his neck and mumbling, "Of course."
