Reflections
(Whilst suffering from muse deprivation for my stories Centennial Charmed Redux and Twice Charmed, I thought about an alternate universe for my first series, beginning with "Lineage". I wondered what may have happened if Michael had returned several months earlier, while Cole was still possessed by the Source. How would he have dealt with the events that led to Phoebe's descent into darkness?)
A/N: This story is from Michael's point of view.
CHAPTER 1: The Heartache of Loss
It's amazing how a single moment in time can alter your entire existence. I never could have imagined the twists and turns that formed the path I've called my life. I've seen things some people have only seen in their most fantastic dreams...and in their worst nightmares.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. In fact, you don't even know my name.
My name is Michael Smith. I was born to Thomas and Veraline Smith on June 20, 1974 in Upstate New York. My father was the founder of a highly successful computer company, Smith Computers, Inc., and we were quite well off. For most of my childhood, things were pretty much normal. Then, when I was twelve, my parents told me the truth about who they were, and who I was.
My father was a witch, and my mother was a demon. By default, that made me half-witch, half-demon. As such, my father told me that I would be a warrior of Good and battle the forces of darkness. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind.
As of my twelfth birthday, the spell my parents had used to bind my powers wore off, and my father began to train me in Wicca. At first, my father's reassurances about my safety were proven true. However, after a particularly nasty battle where I was almost killed by a gang of five demons, I'd had enough.
Since I'd already been accepted to Oxford to study computer science and business, I told my father that I would not be using my powers again. He protested my decision, but I was adamant. I packed my things and left for England.
I was eighteen. It was the last time I ever saw my father.
Since I'd cut my ties to my family, I delved into my own extensive savings to pay for tuition. Since it was still my intention to take over my family's business when my father retired, I spent an extra two years earning my doctorates in computer science and business. After graduation, I returned to the States and bought a penthouse in New York City.
Having more money than most twenty-four year olds, I didn't need to have a real job. Instead, after hanging with some guys my age who were really into rock music, I decided to pursue my other talent – playing the guitar. We formed a rock band and began to play the local New York night clubs.
It was in February 1998 that I met Phoebe Halliwell for the first time. I remember that night as clearly as anything. I was up on stage, playing a solo, when I spotted her staring at me. I knew from the first time I looked into those deep brown eyes that she was the one. I don't know how I knew, but I could feel it, even then.
After the show, I found her at the bar. We talked for a while. She told me about her life, how she'd been the rebellious younger child of three sisters, and how she decided that New York was more her scene. I told her about me...well, not everything. I mean, how could she possibly understand?
I'm happy to say that we hit it off right away. She came to a couple more shows, and we started dating. I remember the night we made love for the first time. I felt complete for the first time in my life. Over the next two months, we fell deeply in love with one another. I didn't think that anything could dent the happiness we shared.
I've never been more wrong.
One night, while we were spending some time together at my penthouse, I received a call from my mother. She was crying hysterically, and when she finally told me, I felt as though my heart had been ripped in half. My father had been murdered, at the hands of the Source himself. If only I'd been there...if only...
Not a day goes by that I haven't regretted my last words to him.
Despite Phoebe's presence, anger consumed me. I desired revenge for my father's death, and I knew there was only one way to achieve it. I had to train my magical abilities to their maximum. However, I knew that the Source would probably come after me once I started using my powers again. There was only one place in the world that would work.
Castle Stonehenge...a remarkable piece of craftsmanship that resides in the English countryside which is my family's ancestral home. It's stood since the time of Merlin, legendary wizard of Camelot...founder of my family line. Since the castle had been magically shielded against Evil, it was the perfect location. There was one problem.
I had to leave Phoebe behind.
On the day of my father's funeral, I told her that I had to leave for London, since the business was based there. Although it was true that I did need to immerse myself in the business environment again, I would be spending most of my time training. My heart wrenched as she began to cry hysterically. She begged me not to go. All I wanted to do was to tell her the truth, and I couldn't do it. Instead, I told her that no matter how long it took, I would come back for her. I swore to her, and to myself, that there would be no one else.
I'll never forget the last words she said to me before I left. "Stay safe," she said. "I couldn't go on if something happened to you."
"I will," I replied. "I love you." I kissed her goodbye, picked up my bags, and left.
I didn't see her again for four years.
The nights were cold and lonely, but the thought of being with her again drove me forward each day. My powers grew stronger and my knowledge of magic grew larger.
Then the tables turned for the first time.
One morning about six months after I'd been there, I felt a surge of power. It was incredible, but I was shocked beyond belief when I localized it.
Three new witches had just claimed their powers...and Phoebe was one of them.
I couldn't believe it. Phoebe was a witch. And not just any witch. Three sisters could only mean one thing...the Charmed Ones.
How stupid I was to think that she wouldn't have understood, when only months later she became a witch herself!
Although the knowledge would make it easier when I finally left, I knew that I was not ready yet. So, I persisted. One year merged into another and another...and another. Finally one day, Merlin himself appeared to me, and told me that my period of exile was complete, and that it was time to re-enter the war. He presented me with Excalibur, and told me to use it wisely.
Upon leaving the castle, I made arrangements to move the World Headquarters of the company to San Francisco. It took nearly six months, but eventually I found myself moving into my family's San Francisco estate. The next step was to find local legal representation. So, several nights afterward, I found myself at a party being held by the firm of Jackman, Carter, and Kline. I was chatting with Mr. Jackman while looking when suddenly I felt a familiar presence in the room. I turned to look, and my heart almost stopped upon seeing Phoebe.
She had never looked more beautiful. Her hair was curled with a white flower stuck in one side. The black dress she wore stirred my love for her to the surface. I barely remember excusing myself from Mr. Jackman's presence before walking over to her. A thousand things rushed through my mind, but the simplest was the one that I spoke.
"Hey, Phoebe."
She turned to look, and I knew the exact moment when she recognized me. Her eyes grew huge, and she smiled broadly. With a soft squeal of joy, she threw her arms around me, and I knew that the time I'd been away had been worth it. "Oh my God...I can't believe you're really here," she whispered as she pulled back. "When..."
"Just a few days ago," I replied. "I would have come to see you sooner, but I had to get some things set up at my new place."
She nodded in acquiescence. "I'm so glad you're here," Phoebe said, smiling again. Her smile waned though, and I could tell something was wrong.
"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously.
Phoebe looked uncomfortable, as though she was struggling with something. "Michael, there's something you should know..." she started.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me," I said, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly.
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Michael, I'm married," she blurted.
My heart stopped for the second time that night. "You're...what?" I questioned.
Phoebe looked down, ashamed. "I know that we'd said we'd wait for each other, but I couldn't. I just...things just happened, and I..."
"Phoebe, it's ok," I said, smiling bravely despite the heartbreak I was feeling. "I asked a lot of you, seeing if you would wait for me. And after a few months, I guess you felt lonely. I don't resent you for it. It's perfectly natural."
"Really?" she said.
"Yeah," I said. "Sometimes, things just don't work out the way we think they will. But, the best we can do is to accept them and move on."
"I'm glad you ok with everything," Phoebe said, smiling once again. Suddenly, her gaze shifted, and she waved to someone standing behind me. Turning around, I saw a man about my age approaching. He had dark hair and deep blue eyes. His demeanor seemed friendly enough, but something felt slightly off.
"Hi honey," he said, coming to stand next to Phoebe. Kissing her lightly on the lips, he then turned to me and asked, "So, who's this?"
"Cole, I'd like you to meet Michael Smith. He owns Smith Computers. Michael, this is Cole Turner, my husband, and a junior partner with Jackman, Carter, and Kline," Phoebe introduced us.
"Nice to meet you, Michael," Cole said, extending his hand. I took his hand to shake it, but I was unprepared for what happened next.
As part of my powers, I formed passive links with anyone I'd ever come into physical contact with. That's how I knew when Phoebe's powers became unbound. When I touched Cole's hand, I felt a wave of evil more powerful than anything I'd felt up to that point. And judging by the power level, I knew that meant only one thing.
This Cole Turner, Phoebe's husband, was the Source of All Evil.
I jerked my hand back in shock and brought it to my eyes, trying to quell the extreme dizziness that had assailed my senses.
"Michael, are you alright?" Phoebe asked anxiously.
I shook my head. "I'm not feeling too well," I replied honestly. "It's probably just my stomach adjusting back to eating regular American food, I guess. I should go." As I turned to leave, Cole put a hand on my shoulder.
"It was nice meeting you, Michael," he said. "I hope to see you again sometime."
I turned back to look at him, and I could sense the Source inside of him laughing his damn head off. He knew that he'd stolen the love of my life away from me.
I'm not one to let sleeping dogs lie, though.
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," I replied in an even tone. "We'll see each other again. You can count on it." I then turned and walked back to the elevator. As soon as the doors closed, I let out a breath and leaned back against the elevator wall, trying to come to terms with what I'd just witnessed.
Phoebe Halliwell, my first and only love, was married to the Source. What the hell was I supposed to do?
Over the next week, in between board meetings and proposals, I tried to plan for how to expose Cole as the Source without too much risk to Phoebe and her sisters. I decided that stealth would be preferable to start, so I shimmered invisibly onto the penthouse's balcony. As I'd expected, I saw Cole meeting with various demonic faction leaders, attempting to unify the Underworld. I knew that simply taking video shots of these meetings would do me no good. Cole could easily turn the tables on me and deny everything, saying that I was just doing it out of jealousy. No, I'd have to wait until Cole slipped up. I also had to figure out a way to reveal the truth about myself to the Charmed Ones without Cole finding out, and so I observed them too. I soon saw my chance.
The vampires decided to make a move against the Source and took Phoebe's younger sister Paige in an attempt to turn all three Charmed Ones to their side. When Phoebe, her older sister Piper, and their Whitelighter, Leo, went to the vampires' realm, I followed, and waited until just the right moment to enter the ensuing battle. When the vampire Rowan knocked Phoebe to the ground, I turned off my invisibility and charged.
Ignoring Phoebe's shocked gasp at seeing me there, I quickly brought up my fist in time to block a punch from Rowan. I savored the look of surprise on his face as he found he could not drive his fist any farther forward. I then methodically began to crush his hand. When he fell to his knees from the pain, I kicked him back, and incinerated him with a fireball. A few seconds later, I noticed fireballs flying out from another cavern and incinerating the bats. I focused, and smirked as I recognized the Source's essence.
"Come, before the Source kills us all!" the Queen yelled, Paige trailing behind her.
Phoebe looked at me with utter astonishment. "Michael, what the hell is going on?!?" she yelled. I winced at the volume.
"I guess I deserve that," I said sheepishly. "I'll explain everything, I promise, but right now, I think your sister needs our help." Just then, I noticed the bats begin to explode spontaneously.
"What's going on?" Phoebe questioned.
"The Queen must be dead...Paige!" Piper yelled. We took off down the cavern to see Paige lying on her stomach.
"Paige," Phoebe said, trying to wake her up. As Paige stirred, Phoebe breathed a sigh of relief and pulled her into a hug. "Thank God you're alive."
"The Source..." Paige said softly.
"The Source?" Phoebe questioned. "What do you mean?"
"He was here," Paige clarified.
"Just now? You saw him?" Piper asked.
Paige nodded.
"The Queen must have posed a threat to him," Leo reasoned.
"Well, that would explain why he wanted to kill her, but why not us?" Phoebe wondered. I was unbelievably tempted to tell her everything right then, but I wasn't sure if she could handle it.
My hesitation right then set the stage for changes no one could have seen coming.
"Well let's just count our blessings and get the hell out of here," Piper said. Everyone joined hands except for me, and I shimmered while following the orb trail back to the Manor. After we arrived, I took Phoebe aside and explained everything to her, about my past, who my parents were, what kinds of powers I had. She took it a lot better than I'd have expected.
"I'm upset that you didn't tell me," she admitted, "but I am glad that you told me." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Anyway, I've got to get back to the penthouse before Cole sends out a search party." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for saving me tonight." Phoebe turned and left the Manor.
The next week felt very strange to me. I think even then, I could feel the tension building up, and very soon, everything would come to light. I couldn't have been more right if I tried. After a meeting with Phoebe, Paige called and told me her own suspicions about Cole, and some news that floored me.
Phoebe was pregnant.
I knew then how dangerous the situation could be. If the unborn child was evil, it could influence Phoebe to the other side.
Things only got more confusing from there. The wizard showed up, giving the girls the idea to steal the Grimoire to prevent the Source from being crowned and receiving his full powers. When they came back from the Underworld, I knew instantly that something was wrong. Phoebe barely said two words before rushing out the door. When I asked Piper, she told me that Phoebe had thrown fire. I sat down rubbing my temples. It was all coming together.
Soon after, Phoebe returned, looking disheveled. She relayed what had happened at the penthouse, the premonition, everything. And then, Leo dropped the bomb about the wizard, but not before he escaped with the Grimoire. The girls decided to go after him and, against Phoebe's will, ask Cole for help. When I volunteered to join them, however, Phoebe told me not to.
"Why?" I asked.
"Things are complicated enough right now," Phoebe said. "If you go with us and Cole sees you, he'll know you're magical. I don't want the two of you fighting each other. I couldn't handle it, not after everything else."
"Alright," I agreed, "but at the first sign of trouble, I'm coming after you."
Of course, I had to wait no longer than fifteen minutes before Paige, Piper and Leo showed up, without Phoebe. They told me what happened, and I cursed. Leo couldn't sense her, and although my sensing abilities normally could penetrate the Underworld, this time they failed, which meant someone had added some additional power to block her signal. After a few minutes, the scrying crystal finally landed on the map, and I could sense Phoebe again.
But something was very wrong...
We materialized to see Phoebe standing next to Cole. "Oh, thank God we found you," Paige said.
"It's too late," Phoebe said coldly.
"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Leo questioned.
We watched in shock as Phoebe went and picked up the Grimoire. "Hey, I thought only Evil could touch that book," Paige said, confused.
"That's right," Phoebe confirmed.
"Phoebe, what's going on?" Piper questioned nervously.
Phoebe turned cold eyes to Piper and said, "I'm embracing my new destiny."
That was where I drew the line. "Like hell," I said, forming a fireball and aiming for Cole's head. "I'm not letting you go this time, Phoebe. I love you too damn much."
There was dead silence in the room at my words. I looked over at Cole, who smirked at me. "So, at last you reveal yourself to me," he said. "How long did you know?"
"Too long," I replied, not taking my eyes off him. "Phoebe, get back."
To my utter shock and surprise, Phoebe formed a fireball of her own. "Drop your fireball Michael, or I swear I'll kill you." The coldness in her voice chilled me, but I didn't let my fear show on my face.
"You wouldn't," I challenged.
The next thing I knew, part of the right sleeve of my shirt was burnt. I looked in utter shock at Phoebe. "No," I said in disbelief. The room spun, and suddenly I couldn't be in there anymore. The last thing I saw was Phoebe and Cole flame out. I shimmered back to my mansion, and let out a scream of agony.
I'd lost her, to the fucking Source of All Evil, no less.
The next week was a blur to me. I got drunk every day. It was the only way to dull the pain of failure. Oh, I knew she and Cole were in the penthouse, but it wouldn't do me any good to go there now. Her mind had been poisoned, and I had no clue what the cure was.
One night, while I was drinking myself into oblivion yet again, Merlin appeared. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
"Nice to see you too," I said, raising my glass to him.
"Stop that, AT ONCE!!!" he bellowed. The sheer volume in his voice woke me up.
"What do you expect me to do?" I asked. "Do you actually expect me to take on the Source?"
"Yes!" Merlin said, exasperated. "This was your destiny, to fight evil. Now, you are being called upon to fight evil in the most dangerous way." He paused, studying me, as if measuring my worth. "Do you love her?"
I didn't hesitate. "With all my heart," I answered.
"Would you sacrifice yourself for her?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Then get off your ass, and go get her," Merlin commanded, with his tone slightly playful. He disappeared a moment later.
Merlin was right. I knew I could take Cole. But I was afraid to lose Phoebe in the process. I finally realized that it didn't matter. I could feel Phoebe's innate goodness trying to push back to the surface, had felt it all week. I knew that no matter what happened to me, Phoebe would be alright.
I took a day to get myself cleaned up and ready to fight. That evening, I did something I hadn't done before. I asked my father for forgiveness. To my surprise, I heard his answer in my mind.
I am proud of you son. All is forgiven.
I knew I was ready. Without a moment's hesitation, I shimmered into the penthouse. I materialized to see Cole standing in front of the bathroom door. Moments later, I saw Piper, Paige and Leo appear next to me. I assumed that something else must have happened that I'd not been aware of, but I didn't have time to dwell on it.
Cole turned his gaze to me, and sneered. "So, it's come down to this, has it?" he snarled.
I gestured, and Excalibur appeared in my hand. I slowly rotated the sword into a better position, the blade giving off a sweet musical hum as it moved through the air. Cole's eyes widened at the sight of the ancient blade. The Source knew full well of its power. One clean stab with this, and he could kiss himself goodbye. "Let's get this over with," I said coldly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Piper and Paige trying to figure out what to do. I shook my head slightly, indicating that I could handle it.
"Fine by me," Cole replied, materializing a sword of his own. Cole immediately took a swing at me, but I was faster and blocked it, the swords clashing like thunder.
For several minutes, we traded blows, neither one of us doing the other damage. Finally, I began to overpower him, and knocked his sword out of his hands. Before Cole could take a step or gesture, I'd leveled Excalibur at his chest. "I've been waiting for this moment for four years," I said coldly. "You murdered my father, and you stole the only woman I've ever loved away from me. It's time for you to die, you son of a bitch." Before I could push the blade forward, a voice stopped me.
"Michael, no!"
I turned and was shocked to see Phoebe emerging from the bathroom. She looked pale and sick, and I knew that she must have been in great pain. And then I realized that I couldn't kill him. I was a good man, above the petty notion of revenge, and I couldn't believe how close I'd come to giving in to my own darkness. I looked back at Cole and slowly lowered Excalibur. "I beat you, bastard. Never forget that." I turned from him and began to walk toward Phoebe. A ghost of a smile appeared on her face, but was quickly wiped away and replaced by a look of dawning horror. It was then that I heard the cold voice behind me:
"Like hell you beat me."
Before anyone could move, I felt the sword pierce through my stomach.
Phoebe screamed.
The shock was so great that I couldn't feel the pain at first.
The next thing I knew, I was propped up against the wall, feeling my body grow cold as I slowly bled to death. I managed to hold on to consciousness and watch as Phoebe kissed Cole, and then to my utter but grateful amazement, she stepped back and joined her sisters.
"Phoebe, no," I heard Cole say in disbelief. "No!"
"Sorry, baby," she said, tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry."
"Prudence, Penelope, Patricia, Melinda," Piper chanted. I could see the first level of fire appear near Cole's feet.
"Astrid, Helen, Laura, and Grace," Phoebe continued in a choked voice.
And right then, for the first time, I felt the human Cole rise above the Source.
"I'll always love you," he said.
"Halliwell witches stand strong beside us," Paige added.
"Vanquish this evil..." Phoebe started, as she looked away from Cole.
"...from time and space," the Charmed Ones finished together.
Cole exploded a moment later, and I heard the windows shatter. I looked up to see Phoebe lifting her head from Piper's shoulder, and looking at the spot where Cole had been standing in utter shock. She then looked over at me, and ran over. "Oh, God, Michael," she sobbed, taking my hand in hers.
Leo, Piper and Paige knelt down on the other side of me.
"Shit, this hurts," I groaned.
"Leo..." Piper prompted.
Leo immediately placed his healing hands over my wound. However, it was unfortunately clear after several seconds that nothing was happening. No glow came.
"Leo, heal him!" Phoebe screamed.
"I can't," Leo said. "Something's stopping me."
Despite the pain, I actually chuckled. "That clever son of a bitch...must have cast a spell on the sword to make sure that I went down with him."
"You think this is funny?!?" Phoebe yelled angrily.
"No, just..." I started, but turned and coughed up blood. "I'm so sorry, Phoebe."
"What do you have to be sorry for?" she sobbed. "This is all my fault."
"C'mere," I said softly. Phoebe buried her head against my neck and cried her heart out. "You're not going to lose me Phoebe...'cause I'll always be right here." I lifted my hand and weakly pressed it against her heart.
Phoebe lifted her head, and I could see the tear stains across her face. She sniffled. "I love you," she said softly. "I always have...and I always will."
And then, the unexpected happened.
Phoebe leaned in and kissed me.
I mean, considering that she just lost her husband, I never figured out why, at least, not until...well, later.
As she pulled away, I felt myself slipping away. "Love you too, baby," I managed to whisper before everything went black.
TO BE CONTINUED...
